#klasisa

[themedicwhomeeps]

On One’s People

PERSONAL LOG - KEEPER FYET-GREYSTORM

BEGIN AUDIO PLAYBACK

I have yet more cause to be grateful for the bahat-mint tea. Which Primatrix Alasha calls ‘the blue tea’ but ... well, colours. At least I know what blue looks like, thanks to her.

...I miss her.

She’s not gone, is the thing. She’s still with the Marran, though granted spending most of her time on the Nova Talon these days. Just ... she’s different. I understand why. I’ve seen why in her blood tests. The Harvest is hitting her hard and the changes are getting to her. I understand. I sympathise. Just ... that does not make her any more approachable. So I miss her. I miss well-meant snark. I miss ... feeling understood. Now I watch every word, every action. I don’t know what will get me snapped at.

Which I suppose is part of the rest of the issues. Apparently Klasisa, the Archon’s padawan, reported to the Jedi Council that she felt that the Archon was in some way compromised by the Garhoon, being influenced by the Queen somehow. It’s possible, but ... I haven’t seen any indication of it. I do think that there’s a ... problematic divide at this point, though. For the Archon and Primatrix Alasha, it’s ... the overall impression seems to be that to them, the Garhoon civil war is ‘their people’ first, and a fight against the darkness second. I ... don’t know how much truth to that there is. In the face of their reaction to the situation on Alpherides versus the situation on the Garhoon prison world... Well, I would like the clarification, but as long as it is a fight against the darkness, I’m hardly about to gainsay the Archon’s orders or question whether his mind is his own. No matter how old the Queen is, and even if there are ways around the Flames kicking off, if the Queen’s intentions aren’t strictly dark. After all, the Flames did not stop the Queen from inducing a state of relaxation in Primatrix Alasha - and yes, I know it was perceived as for her own good.

But therein lies the problem. The Queen may have been right in that instance, but the issue with the Garhoon is that they seem to be of the impression that with age comes wisdom, and therefore they are wiser than all of us, and know best. There’s an expectation that we will follow unquestioning no matter what they ask and how few details they give. There’s an expectation that we will simply trust that their intentions are honourable. Or at least, that’s the impression given by the Queen and by Agthas. I tried to explain that perhaps a little humility might not go amiss, but ... that did not go over well. Perhaps I didn’t explain it properly, but being told that the Garhoon would not try to put themselves in our shoes because to empathise too deeply with individuals who they will long outlive is too ... emotionally trying for them ... it put paid to the conversation a bit. I understand that, but ... only on an intellectual level. If I lived as long as they do ... I’d like to think that I’d embrace every experience, every brief and fragile life, and carry it when they were gone. A person returns to the Force, after all; life is infinite. Its infinite variety of shapes is what makes the galaxy worth living in all that time.

In any case, the summation is that there is tension enough around the Rest that it bludgeons me on a regular basis, thus the headaches, thus the bahat-mint tea. I miss speaking to Alasha over things. I wish I knew what was going to happen when the Archon gets back. Agthas says he might never trust us again after what his padawan did. I hope that’s not true. It’s not him we question. Or at least, I don’t. I don’t know enough about the Queen or Agthas to be sure, though I like him, in a way. If it weren’t for the subject matter, I’d find our philosophical debates quite interesting.

The Jedi have been ordered to cease all work on things involving the Garhoon until the Archon’s return. This includes the Doom, apparently. You can’t just pause a research project, though. Samples degrade. Time skews results. I’m still working on it, but they didn’t know I was working on it anyway. That ... did worry me, the implication that they shouldn’t know, but ... I won’t let a species die this way. Ostensibly this is part and parcel of working on Ly’nai’s fertility or potential lack thereof, but that only goes so far. I’ve been at this for over a week, I have preliminary data coming in, and the only way I will stop is if someone prohibits me entirely. And even then ... I honestly don’t know.

Meantime, Alpherides. It’s all gone entirely to nerf and we’re apparently having to face a being that’s a combination of many powerful Sith presences who is making the planet like unto a Ziost. At least I managed to clear Zhara and Maelana (who is still in the brig and may be looking at the end of her military career) and thus not accept the punishment due them in their stead at the hearing, before it all went to nerf. I don’t imagine it would have gone much differently even if Mae hadn’t got Zhara to drug Tyvis Rist. Either way, all I know for sure is that we go down in less than 48 hours to evacuate the Jedi enclave and hopefully destroy the Sith in question, whatever he is now. I know it’s not a Garhoon prison holding a mad and powerful prince who may lay waste to the galaxy if freed because, among other things, the Six had been using him and his ilk like living batteries for a very long time and left them to feel the passage of time in their prisons instead of providing them the mercy of a return to the Force... But it’s still the Dark Side and it’s still threatening an entire people. 

Aranar called the miraluka ‘my’ people. I ... don’t see it that way. I wasn’t born on Alpherides. I don’t recall being raised by miraluka - for obvious reasons. I was born on Dantooine, not far from Katarr - where I walked, by the way, and it was horrible and empty and dead, for all it gave us a clue to go there. What few childhood memories I have were among a variety of species. Then the Marran, where ... I don’t have ‘people’. I take each person as an individual, equally important, equally unique. I like it that way. It feels ... more fair. Why should any species have weight over any other, even in the mind of a member of that species? Especially then.

[themedicwhomeeps]

Work Ethic

THORN BASE CAMP ALDERAAN Jallira stumbled back into the small tent set aside for her use in THORN's field outpost on Alderaan. She reeked of smoke, unspeakable fluids and gore, and was a bit bruised, but bruises were the absolute worst of her injuries. They were finally beating back the infection, but it seemed to get worse every time an outbreak hit a world that wasn't Taris. Jallira tended to have her hands full treating the infected as best she could, and after that it was going out into the field. Ostensibly it was just to perform scans, pick up samples and treat wounded. It never ended up that way. Being one of the medical community experts on the rakghoul plague was not all it was cracked up to be. Every time an outbreak hit Tatooine or Alderaan or Corellia or someplace more exotic, THORN called Jallira in a panic. She responded every time; it had got to the point where Rilus started throwing together a field kit and overnight bag for her as soon as he saw the THORN comm ident. When he did it this time, he asked her why she always dropped everything and went when THORN raised the call, instead of just handling things via comm link. She'd come very close to just shrugging it off with a 'you know what I'm like' ... but it was Rilus, so she turned her face towards him and answered as succinctly as she could. "You remember a year and more ago, when I had fragments of datacron construct in my head. Both are gone now, but the knowledge from one ... that stayed. It's given me an understanding of the rakghoul virus that few have. Not only would it be wrong not to share that with those who need the help ... it came from a Sith. I have an obligation to use that knowledge for good. To ... redeem it, I suppose." "Yeah, but no reason you couldn't still do that over comms, yanno." "It's not just that. Just ... after the RH-192 counterserum project ... it feels more needful to be hands-on. I heard the molecular structure and composition of that counterserum Junior came up with and ... I cringed. I really did. He ... thinks he's so good at biochemistry, as he is at everything else. But he came up with a killer when he was trying to come up with a saviour, and ... if he's content with that, then he's not anywhere near the biochemist he claims to be. He's certainly nowhere near the medic he claims to be. He says he's brilliant at everything, and he doesn't recognise that he's wrong in that belief. He doesn't show any inclination to or enthusiasm for study, he doesn't seem to want to devote the time and effort into becoming the expert he believes he already is; he just waltzes into situations and ... this is so unkind, but it's true ... he flails at them until they get solved, and then he preens and considers himself the hero no matter who did the actual work. I ... I won't be that. I may know a great deal about the rakghoul plague but viruses mutate and I want my knowledge to stay as current as it can. So ... I go. I work. I study. I help save people." "And if'n you get a call from the Marran saying they need a field medic, you'll be on the next shuttle." "Precisely. There's a Nexus gate on Alderaan, and I'm sure one of the Guardians wouldn't mind opening it for me if they need me. So I wouldn't even need to shuttle very far." Rilus had sighed, kissed her on the forehead, made her promise to try not to work too hard and sent her on her way. She had tried, of course, but that sort of thing never worked out, particularly with the Empire sending their own experts on the matter to try to stem the tide. At least they were working to a common goal, and while there had been more than a few trepidatious glances, no sabers had been drawn, no Flames thrown - they had just gone about the business of keeping the outbreak from spreading beyond its confines without getting too overtly antagonistic. They had enough trying to kill them with the rakghouls without worrying about each other as well. Once she'd even stopped an Imperial medic who she'd heard muttering a thoroughly erroneous conclusion into a data recorder with an apologetic-sounding meep and a thorough correction. The medic had listened, given her a nod, and reworked his entire premise, letting Jallira walk away unscathed. The two large armed and armoured THORN personnel flanking her had probably had a lot to do with that, but part of it was just that there were no political or ideological divides in a war against a virus. If someone didn't beat it, everyone died, whether they were affiliated with Republic, Empire or none of the above. And of course the Marran had needed a field medic, so Jallira had dropped everything and gate-jumped straight in from Alderaan, showered, changed into clean robes and gone out into a different field, this one equally volatile but at least a lot less virulent. When she saw the near-fatally wounded Jedi in the museum, she'd been very glad she had. She had all the respect in the galaxy for conventional medicine and those non-Force-sensitive individuals who practiced it, but it was her ability to heal or at least vaguely stabilise at middling range that had probably saved his life. She'd stayed long enough to see him safely onto the Nova Talon, through the worst of his injuries and into a kolto tank, then trusted the med techs to see to the rest. Instinct said go straight back to Alderaan. Instinct got a quick and decisive "nerf off". She'd snapped at angry saber-wielding Sith who'd been coming towards her, her patient and the Archon's padawan; that meant that her generally near-boundless patience had come to an end. Which meant she was tired and needed a night off. So upon returning to the Nexus, she stayed long enough for a hot bath, a good meal and a night with Rilus that, while not a hundred percent devoted to sleep, still paid off at least some of the sleep debt involved in trying to sleep through panicking personnel and the feral emotional roil of rakghouls and infected in a THORN base camp. Then she'd gone back to Alderaan, and back in the field. Her 'leisure time' was spent studying up on Nake's case - thankfully the last of her big biochemical projects - and processing data; her field time was literally in the field, as much fighting rakghouls as taking samples from them. Small wonder she stumbled into her tent and collapsed onto her bedroll in an exhausted little heap at the end of most days. Still, she took a moment before she went to sleep to comm home: "Hello, Rilus. How's the Rest?" "Heya, doll. Jenkies came back in again." "Oh, nerf; not another solder burn..." "Nope. Got his hand caught in a console panel this time." "That poor man needs to find himself a profession where his being accident-prone doesn't matter. Like ... a mattress tester or something." "He'd prolly find a way to hurt himself anyhow. How's Alderaan?" "...improving. I mean, currently made of nerf - and by nerf, I mean rakghoul - but improving." "Good t'hear. Comin' home soon?" "Another day or so. Maetra will be very cross if I don't drop in to say hello while I'm on-world." "Oh, speakin' of your crazy relatives--" "Rilus! ...oh, never mind, it's true anyway. So what did Alti do this time?" "Hey now; I never said it was Alti." "You said 'crazy relatives'. Ahri's moderately sane--" "She meditates on the ceiling." "--and Mae's got a lot better lately--" "She keeps sayin' as how she wants to punch a cousin in the nose." "--anyway, Alti is the one who wears her crazy with pride. So? What did she do this time?" "Welp..." It was amazing how, even when exhausted, filthy, bruised and sore, a five-minute holocall with her sweetheart could brighten her day.