genre/s: fluff/romance, established relationship au, hyunjin x gn reader
warning/s: suggestive..? i guess?
wc: ~840
a/n: don’t look at me i’m simping shhhh also i’m probably gonna cringe at this later but i hope you enjoy lol
☾ * ゜・．
“you like them a lot, don’t you?” he asks you. it’s as close to a whisper as he can muster, though an undertone of low, raspy sleepiness just nearly pokes through. you’re tracing shapes along the curves of his arm, humming a soft song as your body lulls itself to sleep. his hand is attached to your waist, rubbing the slowest, barely-there circles into the fabric of your t-shirt with the pad of his thumb.
“hm?” you reply groggily, continuing your fluttery movements against hyunjin’s skin, illuminated by the moonlight seeping through the blinds. the stripes of light cast a hazy, blue-tinted glow over the whole room. your eyes are struggling to keep themselves open, but their focus on the toned slopes of muscle underneath your fingertips never wavers.
“my arms. you seem to like them.” he slips the other arm under the pillow on which his head rests. he smiles. you aren’t paying attention, but hyunjin’s eyes haven’t left your face since you laid down tonight.
you pause, opting to skim the tips of your middle and ring finger up from his wrist to his shoulder in one long, smooth motion. “i like everything about you,” you admit, finally meeting his gaze. sure enough, the light of the moon takes up everlasting residence in his irises. if you didn’t know it any better, you’d assume that mother nature had hand-plucked her most lustrous stars and placed them carefully inside the deep, vast universe contained in his pupils.
he shifts closer to you, taking more of you in his grasp and repositioning his soft caresses to the small of your back. you place your hand on the side of his face; your thumb brushes gently over his cheekbone as you tuck the lingering strands of his satiny silver hair behind his ear with your index finger. “everything about me?” he asks in response. you nod. yet, he’s not entirely convinced. no matter how many times you reassure him - hold him, compliment him, profess your affections - hyunjin never seems able to fully accept the fact that you are totally, undeniably, sometimes edging on embarrassingly his. only his.
he savors your touch, blinking his eyes closed. then, after staying like this for a moment, he takes your hand and moves it behind his head as he leans into your face, latching his lips onto yours. your eyes flutter shut as you kiss him back, delighting in the sweet taste and lush softness of his lips while your fingers brush themselves through his hair. every time feels like the first. the way he guides the intertwining of your bodies and the flow of the kiss feels almost heavenly. maybe that’s what’s trickling through the window pane; heaven’s knowing glisten.
once you both break away with a subtle sound of detachment, you slowly open your eyes. “you promise?” hyunjin asks. he places a few extra kisses upon your jaw, ambling silently down to your neck.
instead of answering his question, you wrap your leg around his body, raising yourself to straddle his waist despite your fatigue. he welcomes your position, his hands traveling from your thighs to your hips as you lean down to kiss him again. deeper, closer, more intimate - never straying away from angelic; your hands cupping the sides of his face as you absorb each other’s presence…
you withdraw from his lips once again, wrapping your arms around him. he does the same, solidifying a tight hold around your body. “i do,” you murmur. he breathes deeply, inhaling your scent as if it’s the last time he’ll ever get to relish in its presence. yet, he then takes you in his arms and gently rolls the two of you over until you’re resting on your back, looking up at him with wonder. the tips of his silky hair tickle your cheek as he rests his arms carefully on either side of you. butterflies form in your stomach once you observe the way they tense up in your peripheral vision. you really do mean what you’d said.
“forever?” he blinks, his glossy, tired eyes darting between yours in search of the same galaxy you’d gotten the pleasure of witnessing in his.
“forever,” you respond, prophetically and absolutely.
hyunjin relaxes, carefully laying upon you with his head placed in the crook of your neck, aligned with the spot he’d kissed so delicately moments prior. he does so once again, taking care not to leave any marks. as he drapes his arm across your waist, you ask, “you like it a lot, don’t you?”
he lets out a breathy giggle. “your neck?”
“mhm.”
“i do. i like everything about you,” he whispers in return before tending to your jaw once again. eventually, as your eyes come to a final close for the night, so do his. yet, nevertheless, the moon and the stars prevail, gleaming on the two lovers whose hearts lay still and full under their gaze. i hope you dream about me, hyunjin thinks. i hope you always dream about me...
☾ * ゜・．
tags: @magglesx, @crscendoforsung, @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @pixielix, @skzctnightnight, @nafnifnice-archive, @childofthecosmos, @changbinniee, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet (send a 🍓 in my ask box to be added for skz !)
ateez saying ‘i love you’ without using those three words.
➵ ateez x neutral reader
➵ warnings: mentions of reader being upset.
➵ word count: 488 words.
➵ a/n: it’s a tiny bit rushed, i’m sorry. but i stil hope you’ll enjoy it and let me know your thoughts!♡
Seonghwa
└ “Are you sure?” Seonghwa would ask constantly. Especially when it came to a new activity he decided you could try together or visiting a new place. Seonghwa would always make sure you were comfortable with everything and everyone around you.
Hongjoong
└ Hongjoong knew you didn’t share what upset you out of fear of burdening him. He had a lot to worry about with his job and you didn’t want to add on to that with your own troubles.
“It’s okay,” he would remind you often, noticing you were barely holding it together anymore. “I’m here for you.”
Yunho
└ Yunho always thought of you. You were one of the most important people in his life and he was always looking for ways of letting you know, although he wouldn’t exactly say it with words.
“It reminded me of you,” he’d smile sheepishly, getting out of his pocket whatever new trinket he found that immediately made your face appear in his thoughts. “I hope you’ll like it.”
Yeosang
└ Yeosang was a great listener, even if he wasn’t a great adviser. Whenever you had a big decision to make, you knew he would be there to listen to everything you had to say, especially to the parts that troubled you. But when the time for the big decision would come, he’d always say the same.
“I just want you to be happy.”
Mingi
└ “Here, let me help you,” Mingi was always up for doing something—anything— for you, from reaching things in tall places (that he might or might not have placed there himself) to help you open packages, unload laundry or simply take a glass of water from the kitchen to the living room.
San
└ Movie nights were something usual between the two of you. Away from the rest of your friends and just enjoying each other’s company was the best way of having dates.
“What do you want to watch?” San would ask every time, before leaving the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and taking a seat beside you. He always left the choice up to you, because he wanted to make you happy.
Wooyoung
└ Wooyoung would always catch himself staring at you when you laughed. There was nothing that would make his heart flutter more than knowing you were enjoying yourself, whether it had been him who’d make laughter bubble up your chest or some ridiculous cartoon on tv.
“I like the way you laugh,” Wooyoung would say a smile of his own plastered on his features as he reached for your hand.
Jongho
└ As someone who had a little more trouble showing his true feelings, Jongho was scared that you would feel like he didn’t love you enough. But you always stuck around, understanding who he was and loving him that way.
“I feel so lucky to have you,” he’d often say, not shying away from the words as he wrapped his arms around you.
synopsis: the weather is cold and now yuto is clingy.
a/n: that was the shortest synopsis i’ve ever written. have some clingy yuto because i’m so soft for this man:)
image from pintrest !!
=====
It was going to be a very cold day, but you were prepared.
The weather channel had forecasted it, more than one family member had texted you a doting message to stay warm, and the snow blanketing the ground outside last night told you enough.
Your bed was cozy when you woke up, and you were immediately thankful that you had fluffed up your thickest blanket in the dryer before you went to bed. That, along with your comfiest pyjamas did wonders to keep you warm. The body pressed against you only made you feel warmer when you gently flipped yourself onto your other side and came face to face with your boyfriend, Yuto.
His eyes were wide open, just like yours, and you both giggled at how you ended up catching each other staring. He then brought a hand to your cheek to guide you into a soft kiss as your legs intertwined with each other a little underneath the blankets.
"Good morning." His voice was still a little gravelly from the long hours of sleep and you replied with your own quiet “good morning”. When the sun peeked out from the clouds to shine straight into his eyes, he let out a groan and rubbed his face. Pushing himself into a sitting position, he blinked a few times to gather his bearings and promptly shivered.
"Why is it so cold?" He muttered out the question that bordered a childish whine as he pulled the blanket back to his neck. You sat up yourself and scooted over to lean your head on his shoulder, settling into his side.
"The apartment heating sucks — you know that. And they said it's going to be freezing all day, love, so I guess we just have to get used to it." You answered and placed a kiss on his cheek to cheer him up.
It did, and he asked for another.
"Come on, I'll prepare some warm drinks for breakfast and we can spend the day snuggling. I don't have much to do."
Yuto beamed at your offer and for a moment, you were glad that the weather was so cold.
=====
You lied. You weren't so glad that the weather got cold.
It wasn't that difficult for you to adjust to the temperature — your warm sweater, socks, and a blanket every so often did the trick. Yuto, however, couldn't get used to it, and nothing seemed to help. You lent him one of your knitted scarves and it was wrapped cozily around his neck as you prepared breakfast. You suggested wearing gloves, but he insisted on his sweater paws being enough.
(It didn’t really work, his fingers were still frozen solid whenever he touched you).
As you watched the food heat up on the stove, Yuto seemed to have made it his goal to be as clingy as possible. With his arms wrapped around you, he didn't even let up when you had to grab something from the fridge. His hands kept their tight grip as he half-waddled half-shuffled behind you, trying to keep up with every move you made.
"Is this what we're doing all day?" You finally asked, when you almost tripped for the 3rd time that morning because of his weight against yours.
"Maybe..." He unclasped his hands to pat your head. "You're really warm — how are you so warm?"
"Well you know what they say," You started confidently and then halted when your mind short-circuited. Yuto let out a small "hm?" at your pause.
"...I actually don't know what they say." You admitted and he stopped cuddling for a moment to let out a laugh.
"But as much as I love being your heater, the food is going to burn if you don't let me go, love."
=====
The two of you spent the rest of the morning lazily getting ahead on your own individual work. It was your turn to choose the music today and a song from your queue played out into the quiet room, save the few times Yuto had to flip a page in his notebook.
The snow had also begun to fall again.
That meant the weather outside was only going to get gloomier, which it did. And Yuto only got colder.
He started by moving closer to you. Before you both sat on opposite ends of the couch, giving each other enough room to work, but now, he was pretty much leaning onto you as he absentmindedly scribbled down more lyrics onto the pages.
Not much later, you began to suspect that he committed more of his attention to watching you, rather than his book. Every time your hand drifted away from your work, he would snatch it so that he can intertwine his cold fingers into yours and bury your hands into the front pocket of his hoodie. When you tugged on him to let you go, he'd reluctantly do so, only to wait for your hand to be free again.
Eventually, you decided that you weren't going to get much done if your boyfriend was going to be this clingy, and the work — thankfully — wasn't the most important.
"Okay I think that's enough work for the both of us today. You were done a long time ago, weren't you?" You sighed, letting the other finally take both of your hands into his.
"My sudden burst of inspiration died off the moment the sun went away. Why must this winter be so cruel." He said deadpanned and leaned in to kiss you. Once. Twice.
"You're sweet, though.” He concluded. “And warm."
He really wasn't going to leave you alone ever, was he?
"Then how about we watch something and maybe you'll get some ideas." You suggested as you switched the TV on.
"But you're all the inspiration I need." He replied cheekily, and you held back a laugh, not wanting to give in to his clingy agenda.
"Uh-huh, say that when you're not using me and my warmth for your own personal gain, and maybe I'll believe you, sir."
"Listen, it's not my fault that it's freezing, and it's not my fault that you're able to manage so well." Yuto retaliated and adjusted the blanket on top of him.
"You're seriously making me consider buying us a kotatsu* now." You said and gestured at the empty space in the room you were in. "We can maybe fit one here; keep us warm while we work."
He rested his head on your shoulder and you played with his hair as he spoke. "If it's not getting warmer anytime soon, then I'm down with that. It'll remind me of my home too, and that's always nice."
"That's exactly why I offered it." You responded quietly as the show began to start. He didn't answer you, but you did see him smile softly.
After a couple of episodes, you shifted the weight of the blanket onto Yuto entirely and got up from the couch, stretching once you did.
"Where are you going?" He whined, disappointed at the sudden loss of warmth.
"Yuto, honey, I'm going to the bathroom." You paused and cocked an eyebrow in his direction. "Do you really want to join me for something like this?"
He slumped back onto the couch and reached over to grab the remote abandoned on the floor. "Nevermind, have fun. Please come back soon, your boyfriend loves you a lot."
You chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind, tell him I love him too."
=====
Surprisingly in the evening, Yuto insisted that he'd be the one to take the trash out, despite the snow that fell persistently.
Not so surprisingly, when he returned, hair dusted in white and cheeks rosy, he immediately buried himself into the blanket you had wrapped around you. His winter coat was discarded haphazardly on the floor and he pulled one of your arms into your chest, pressing his cheek against yours. You swatted him away when you felt just how cold his skin was.
"I am literally going to eat winter." He muttered, along with some more incoherent recounts of his journey to the trash bins outside.
"You're the one who was so determined to take the trash out, though?"
"It's only fair after all you've done for me. I'm a kind person." Yuto sent you a toothy grin which you returned.
This one, you could at least agree with.
"Alright then, you smooth talker, I'll agree to cuddle for the rest of the night because you were just so kind."
"Are we not already cuddling?" He countered.
"I could push you off the couch and we won't be cuddling anymore, if that's what you'd like." You smirked back.
Yuto immediately flopped to rest on your lap, putting all his weight onto you to prevent you from leaving. "No wait please don't." He then reached out to grab your hands into his cold ones again. "Please love me."
You laughed at his childish actions and bent down to kiss him on the lips. It was a little awkward and sloppy, but neither of you minded.
"Am I not already loving you?"
=====
*kotatsu = a low, wooden table frame covered by a futon, or heavy blanket, upon which a table top sits with a heat source underneath.
genre/s: fluff, established relationship/domestic au, hyunjin x gn reader
wc: ~630
warnings: none !
a/n: this is part of the @skzwriternet “first snow” collab event !! as the prompt reads, “there’s a common saying that whoever you connect eyes with during the first snow, you are destined to spend forever with” …enjoy :D
waking up with hyunjin by your side has always been a joy. especially when it became a daily activity. you moved in together during the summer, which didn’t lend itself to nearly as much cuddle time as the wintertime has. thus, you’ve both taken any chance you can get to make each other feel warm.
this morning feels a bit more crisp than usual. when you open your eyes, you’re met with a great sense of wintry fondness. facing away from the window, body tucked under hyunjin’s warm embrace from behind, you take a deep breath, inhaling the sweet, chilly breeze. it cascades from the window pane, swiftly seeping into the room.
you hear a murmur behind you.
carefully, you shift your position, turning to face him. the blueish morning light streaming through the window is sharp, sending your eyes into a blinking frenzy before settling. you look at your lover. he’s still half asleep. but you’re awake, so he’s awake. his brow furrows. you giggle.
you place a coy peck upon the plump smoothness of his bottom lip. “good morning,” you whisper, your hand reaching up to cup his face. your thumb strokes back and forth against the soft expanse of his cheek as he opens his eyes; two glinting, gleaming, glossy lenses with all of last night’s stars tucked away inside. he looks so adorable when he’s sleepy.
he pouts. “good night,” he remarks, shutting his eyes once again and tightening his grasp around you, pulling himself further toward your frame. he snuggles into your chest, taking a deep breath and clinging to you as if you’d crumble to pieces if he wasn’t there to hold you together. you giggle again at his words and actions. you don’t blame him. you’re sleepy too. you look upon him just as you always do; with adoration. tucking a lock of his lengthy, sable black hair behind his ear, you gently scratch the back of his head with the tips of your fingernails. you take a second to admire his facial features - to marvel at the gentleness of his nostrils as a steady stream of breath enters and exits his nose; to count the beauty marks which decorate his supple skin… one, two, three, four, five…
you glance out the window, once again met with the visual pang of morning glow as you listen intently to your lover’s tender breath. though, as your squinting eyes adjust to the view, you realize the source of the crispness you endured as you awoke.
it’s the first snow of the season.
“hyunjin! baby, look,” you whisper-shout, pointing to the sight. you sit up slightly, which prompts him to lift himself up a bit as well.
“wh-what is it…” he groggily mutters, turning his head toward the glass pane as well. you caress his back as he, too, takes a second to get used to the light, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. however, once he sees the wispy flakes of bright white wintriness, his eyes widen.
you’ve both been waiting for this. you both know about that old saying. hyunjin’s ecstatic.
he turns back toward you, sitting up further. he gently cups your face with his hands. “you’re the love of my life,” he whispers, puffy eyes gazing into yours and lips curving into a loving smile. the feeling that courses through you as his warm hands settle against your cheeks is something akin to that of sipping hot cocoa; toasty, homely, revitalizing. love.
and so, with the swell of a thousand snow showers whisking through your steadily beating heart, you place your hand upon his, looking into and reply.
“and you’re mine.”
forever… forever.
tags: @magglesx, @crscendoforsung, @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @pixielix, @skzctnightnight, @serenityswords-main, @childofthecosmos, @changbinniee, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @ncityluvvs, @siedhr (send a 🍓 in my ask box to be added for skz !)
genre/s: comfort, fluff, established relationship/domestic au, hyunjin x gn reader
wc: ~1.2k
warnings: body image/self esteem issues
a/n: the title is a pun get it DSFJK anyways- i got this idea a while back but i thought the new @districtninewriters writers’ room prompt for the week suited it well so i decided to put it into action :)) just some light hearted comfort loveliness :)))) i hope u enjoy!
“baby, i have to go at some point,” you say, chuckling as hyunjin clings onto your sweater sleeve for dear life. if he grabs it any tighter, you think he might rip the cotton fabric straight off.
“but why? stay here,” he whines. though sleepy and quiet, he’s persistent. and, as you look down on his pouty, puffy morning face with closed eyes and furrowed brows, your heart pangs with the urge to do as he wishes.
giggling, you continue your attempt to begin your day. “i have to go return the pants i bought the other day. now, will you please-”
he lets go. immediately. you’re almost sent backward. “...what?” he asks, opening his eyes for the first time all morning. “why?”
“what do you mean, why?” you laugh again. he’s so cute. yet, he’s so concerned... what for?
“why do you have to return them? i thought you liked them.”
“i… i did…”
well… you thought you would when you purchased them. they were black dress pants with a form that hugged the shape of your legs; perfect for going out… however, you couldn’t overlook the way your stomach appeared to protrude from them. it’s something you always forget about when you find an article of clothing you like. but every time you try something on, you’re reminded. that’s why right now, you’re wearing a sweater of his that’s long enough to cover the mass your eyes tend to zoom in on through your jeans. you hate it. the feeling will pass in a matter of days… but it always comes back.
“i changed my mind after trying them on,” you continue, curtly.
he sits up, pulling the covers off of his form and taking a seat on the edge of the bed. he takes your hand in his. “but why? they looked so good on you.”
you gaze into his wide, glimmering irises. you don’t want to lie to him; you couldn’t. he already knows something’s wrong. he always does.
“well…” your eyes fall upon your interlocked hands, rubbing his fingers with your thumb to distract yourself from the task at hand. he places his other hand against the junction of your waist and hip, an area of your body upon which his hands fit perfectly. yet, right now, it stings.
“you can tell me anything, baby,” he assures you.
you begin again. “i thought i looked… fat… in them,” you murmur.
he appears confused. “what?”
“my… my stomach… i don’t know. i just didn’t like them on me, so i’m returning them. it’s not a big d-”
“yes it is,” he argues. you look back into his eyes. he’s completely awake now. you didn’t realize how passionate he’d become. but, when he cuts you off, you’re shocked.
he pauses, his tone and expression softening. “stay for a little while. please?”
you nod. honestly, you didn’t feel like going anyway. you just felt like you had to. you weren’t excited to return the pants; lying to the cashier at the clothing store and telling them that they didn’t fit, saying “no” to their offer to try another size, and accepting a store credit, only to never end up using it anyway.
he lifts the covers and lets you slip back inside, jeans and all. he settles next to you, head resting closely beside your stomach. he’s propped up against his hand, his face at a close proximity to the place that troubles you the most. you watch as he lifts the fabric of your sweater to reveal your belly, goosebumps forming all across your body from both the physical contact and his gaze upon your body. he’s seen you countless times, in countless places and with countless loving thoughts racing across his mind. in this moment, he recalls those thoughts, wondering if he’s done you a disservice by not sharing every single one. but he can’t think about that right now.
you stretch your arm down in an effort to hide your physical reaction to his touch. but, alas, he’s quick to protest.
“no,” he whispers, eyes flicking back up at your face. “i want to see you.” a pause. “if you’ll let me.” you simply close your eyes. you know you’re in good hands, in all forms of the phrase, but once again, your insecurities have clouded your lens.
still, hyunjin always knows just how to fix it.
he places his hand on the far side of your stomach, holding onto your waist and kneading your skin with his thumb. he leans down to press a kiss upon your skin before closing his eyes and leaving a trail of more. with each one, you jolt ever so slightly. it’s a bizarre new feeling.
he opens his eyes again. “hello, tummy,” he says, his voice low and endeared. you giggle. he shushes you with a silly, mockingly grave expression on his face. “we’re having a moment,” he exclaims.
‘we’, of course, referring to the love of your life and your stomach. how romantic.
nevertheless, he turns back to your middle and continues. “anyways… i just wanted you to know that i love you…” a kiss. “and i think…” another. “that you’re perfect.” three kisses, back to back, on all different areas along the expanse of your skin. then, he shifts the placement of his hand, rubbing back and forth over you.
you love him. you know you do, and you always have. it never wavers, nor diminishes. but sometimes you forget how poignant your love for him really is. it’s times like these, however, when you recall the feeling. you love him. you really do.
“and whenever this one,” he remarks, pointing to you, “tells you you’re not perfect… don’t listen.” he cheekily looks up at your face. your face, enveloped in warmth, smiling from ear to ear, and looking back at him like he’s the only boy you’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.
he loves you. he really does.
“come here, dork,” you say to him. he giggles, pulling your sweater over your stomach, but leaving his warm hand underneath. he climbs over to you and lays down beside you, his face nestled in the crook of your neck.
“it’s true.” he kisses your skin, still massaging your waist with his thumb. “i love your belly. don’t be mean to it, or else you’ll have to go through me,” he threatens, prompting a full laugh from you. he chuckles alongside you, getting comfortable in bed once again. though his initial motives were selfish, he’s glad he coerced you into staying home, at least for a few minutes.
“fine. i’ll try.”
“you’ll try?! didn’t you hear what i said?” and suddenly, he begins tickling the skin on your belly. you squirm underneath his grasp, uncontrolled laughter spewing from your lips. “promise me you’ll be nicer to your tummy and i’ll stop tickling you!” he continues wiggling his fingers, travelling all over your body and emphasizing his efforts on your sides, which he knows is the most ticklish part of your frame.
“stop! stop it, stop! hyunjin!” you plead in between harsh breaths and unsuppressed laughter. though, the smile plastered on your face indicates to him that his endeavors have been successful.
he begins laughing as well, the corners of his eyes and the edges of his lips raising into a perfect, joyous little smile. “do you promise?”
“yes!” you shout, desperate to be rid of the feathery feeling of his fingers that prompts your body to contort itself against your will. “i promise!”
“good!” he responds, giggling into your neck while lifting his leg over yours and trapping your whole body in his embrace. “now stay here with me~” he coos.
...and who are you to say no?
tags: @magglesx, @crscendoforsung, @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @pixielix, @skzctnightnight, @serenityswords-main, @childofthecosmos, @changbinniee, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @ncityluvvs (send a 🍓 in my ask box to be added for skz !)
genre/s: fluff, comfort, suggestive (heH), established relationship/domestic au, hyunjin x gn reader
wc: ~2k MWAHAHAHAHA
warnings: descriptions of pain i guess? kinda? lol
a/n: i’m super excited to see what y’all think of this one! it’s based on a suggestion from @chogiwow hehe thank u ivy ♡♡ if you ever have a suggestion for the series feel free to check out the suggestion box !!
hyunjin always hates bothering you with trivial things. or at least things he would deem so. he knows you’d go to the ends of the earth to support him and provide aid for whatever might be troubling him - and he for you. you share the same home, the same heart, and the same devotion to each other. what’s yours is his, and vice versa. yet, even on a day like today, he feels it unnecessary to burden you with his troubles. he doesn’t want them to become yours.
and yet, he underestimates the bond you share. he should know by now that no matter what, there’s no way to hide from you. whenever you’re upset, troubled, in pain, or in conflict, verbal confirmation isn’t necessary. he just knows. it’ll be the way you breathe; sighing with every exhale, furrowing your brow as you breath in. or the way you look at him; your soft smile laced with a twinge of pitiable sorrow, eyes drinking in his features as a means of momentary distraction before you avert them somewhere else. or even the way you touch him; slower, fluidly, with a soft sense of urgency that you might not even realize.
but that’s exactly how you can tell there’s something wrong today. he’s been quiet with his voice but his actions speak volumes. you sit next to him on the couch, offering him his cup of tea. he holds the cup in both of his hands for a bit, one through the handle and one on the outside. he neglects to thank you in favor of letting out a deep, sighing breath. you glance at him with concern, taking a sip from your own drink. the hot liquid, dulled only slightly by smooth creaminess, creates a great deal of warmth inside you despite the subtle chill in the room. it’s chamomile, just as he likes it.
“you okay?” you ask, setting your cup down onto a coaster on the table. he nods to you, a passive smile spread across his face. he looks at you with a palpable longing in his eyes; one he can’t control even if he tried. “are you sure?” you shift closer to him, placing a comforting hand on his thigh, right above the knee. you rub back and forth with your thumb, a gesture you know he’s always found both endearing and soothing. maybe he’s cold, you think. it could explain his tight grip on the warm cup. “i can grab a blanket if you need-”
“no. it’s-” he starts. however, he hesitates. he stops. barely opening his mouth, he lets out an “i’m… fine.”
you know he’s lying. not out of spite or with malicious intent, but because he feels the same way you do whenever something’s wrong. one would think that after all this time, it’d be easier to confide in each other about superficial things without having to worry. but it’s not in either of your nature. “really?” you question, lifting your legs onto the sofa. you cross them, turning to fully face the boy you love; the boy you want to protect and provide for at all costs.
he nods again with a long, hard blink. he looks pained. it makes your heart twitch a little.
he leans over to set his teacup down onto the table before placing a hand on your waist. “c’mere,” he breathes out, once again opening his mouth only as far as he must to get a word in. you oblige, letting his hands guide your hips until you’re straddling his. he then wraps his arms around your center, looking up at you affectionately. for a brief moment, you forget your partnerly duties as you self-indulgently survey the shimmering vastness contained within his eyes. your focus lies within the chocolatey depths of his irises; cavernous pupils lit by the streaming sunlight from the living room window… what’s more, his widened, yearning eyes are further proof that he needs you right now, for reasons he’s somehow unable to tell you.
“what’s wrong, baby?” you ask, the softness of your tone fluttering across his heart like a feather on the skin; gentle, fleeting, and goosebump-inducing. he wants to tell you. you lull him further into relaxation, however, with your fingers combing themselves through his ebony locks and massaging his head in the tenderest fashion you can muster. you know how much he enjoys it. you can see it in his face when he lets his eyes close and head fall back onto the top of the sofa. and you can hear it in the way he hums in response. temporary relief. but you know you could be doing more. you glance down at his strawberry pink lips, slightly chapped from lack of use. you lean in, cupping his face with your hands and pulling your faces closer. but then, he lets out a small gasp.
his eyes shoot open, making immediate and urgent contact with yours. he’s in pain.
“i’m so sorry,” you say, taking your hands off his face.
“no! no…” he mutters. his hands travel to your sides, giving your hips a gentle squeeze.
“where does it hurt?”
he lifts a hand to the left side of his jaw, lightly rubbing back and forth. “tooth,” he says, simply.
you let out an “aw, baby,” under your breath, looking at him with concern. you hate it when he’s hurting. he hates it when you feel guilty.
“i’m okay,” he mumbles, mouth still partially closed. “i promise.”
“i know that’s not true. don’t lie.” you lift yourself off of his lap, receiving a bit of protest from your lover-made-patient.
“don’t go,” he whimpers through gritted teeth. this is just as he’d dreaded; you’re going to do everything you can to help him. and while he appreciates it, he doesn’t want you to worry. he never wants you to worry.
but you don’t want him to be feeling as bad as he does. as much as you’d love to stay here in his loving embrace, tending to him by simply being near to him, you know he’ll remain in pain. and you can’t let that go.
“i’ll only be a minute. i’m going to get you something cold to hold on it and an aspirin to take, okay?” your hands lay flat against his shoulders as you gently push yourself off the couch and onto your feet. he takes a hold of one of your hands, bringing it to his lips to place a faint kiss on the back of it.
“thank you,” he adds with a half-smile. you rub his hand with your thumb before making haste into the bathroom to grab a washcloth. you soak it in cold water, then quickly ring it out and walk back into the living room to see hyunjin in the same state you left him. however, when you enter, the brightness returns to his face. you hand him the cloth, guiding his hand up to his jaw to lightly press the coldness against the affected area. his glassy eyes never leave yours. he lets out a slight hiss at the temperature of the cloth, but quickly adjusts. you smile down upon him, a loving hand placed against his other cheek, thumb stroking back and forth against it. he smiles back at you; at least, he tries.
then, you make your way to the kitchen cabinet where all the medicine is stored. you haven’t much room to keep them in the bathroom, but you made do with what you had when you bought the apartment. besides, it’s right near the faucet, which comes in handy in instances such as these. you grab an aspirin and fill up a glass of lukewarm water. however, just as you shut off the faucet, you hear him calling.
“baby!” he whines, loud enough to be heard from the other room despite his impaired oral function. you rush back to him, medication in tow, worried for what may have happened to him while you were away. though, you were only away for a few moments. after you arrive, his expression quickly transforms from agony to relief. the cold compress is squished against his cheek. he’s adorable.
“i’m cold without you,” he murmurs with a cheeky pout.
you chuckle, letting out the breath you didn’t even realize you’d held when you heard him and came running. “do you need the blanket?”
“no,” he replies. “just need you.” squinting, he adjusts the washcloth. you really do hate seeing him like this, no matter cute he can never cease to be. so, of course, you comply.
as you approach him, he sits up, eager to be close once again. “here,” you say, handing him the cup and pill. you then settle back upon his lap, rubbing his stomach and gently holding the washcloth in place as he swallows. he hands back the empty glass, which you place on the floor beside the sofa. “good.”
he takes a deep breath while slowly snaking his hands up the back of your hoodie, pulling you closer to him. the contact between his cold fingertips and your back sends a shiver through you. “kiss?” he asks. every word that escapes his aching mouth is as light as a feather. you take a moment for this image of his face to seep into your unconscious. you’ll keep it there in case he’s ever far from you. it’s funny how memory works. some things will take temporary leave of the mind at a moment’s notice, but pictures such as this will linger for a long while.
“are you sure? i don’t want to hurt you,” you reply. you dab his jaw with the washcloth, trying to find the coldest spot to use. looking up at you with umber earnestness, he nods. you glance at his lips as they part, exposing his front teeth. they’re still clamped shut. you lay a singular, hushed peck upon his lips, still holding the compress against his cheek. you press a second kiss on the corner of his mouth, then his opposite cheek. you gaze at him once again, threading your fingers through his hair as he relaxes against the sofa for a second time.
he wraps himself further around you underneath the fabric of your sweatshirt, kneading the skin on your waist. as his eyes open, lashes fluttering and brows relaxing, he whispers, “more.”
you giggle. “is this just an excuse for kisses?” you ask, pecking his nose and cheek.
“no~,” he drawls. he leans toward you, fingers grazing over your skin and leaving your back in favor of gripping onto your hips. he swiftly latches his lips onto yours, drawing you in to deepen the kiss, as he’s unable to. and so, you do. he exhales into it, audibly relieved by the feeling. it’s almost as if the mellow, chamomile-infused sweetness of your lips provides a temporary numbness for the pain with which he’s been afflicted.
“is it feeling any better?” you ask. he looks up at you, nods, and smiles - as much as he’s able to - while his hands roam around your hips and thighs.
“thank you, baby,” he whispers. “you didn’t have to…” he trails off, squinting again. you take the washcloth off his jaw, noticing the rosy tint his skin has taken on due to the chill. gently, you drag the tip of your finger against his jawline. you then place a tender peck against it, trailing down to his neck as well.
“does this hurt?” you ask against his neck, your lips moseying back up to the point of affliction.
he lets out a deep sigh. “not at all…”
later, you’ll ask him what might have caused his pain. later, you’ll clean up the cups and drink the tea you would have otherwise forgotten about. later, in fact, you’ll keep tending to hyunjin’s toothache, ensuring that he gets some form of nourishment and some rest. but for now, you’ll stay seated on the lap of your lover; peppering kisses over his face, letting his hands roam around your form… whatever’s going to make him feel better, right?
tags: @magglesx, @crscendoforsung, @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @pixielix, @skzctnightnight, @serenityswords-main, @childofthecosmos, @changbinniee, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @ncityluvvs (send a 🍓 in my ask box to be added for skz !)
genre/s: fluff, established relationship au, hyunjin x gn reader
wc: ~430
warnings: none !
a/n: thank you to @delicatewerewolfsoul for suggesting this !! i actually did a bit of research for it haha. i hope y’all like it :)
with his arms on either side of you, hyunjin takes your hand in both of his. you’re seated betwixt his legs on the sofa, leaning against him with your own outstretched. “do you know what the lines on your palms mean?” he softly ponders, close behind your ear.
“um…” you start. everyone knows just a little bit about it, you think. but you never knew he did. “i know this one,” you say, pointing to a long vertical line on the side of your palm, “is the life line.”
“mhm.”
“i’m not sure what it means, though. and… this one,” you point to the line beside the last, “has something to do with how you feel about life… or something?”
“pretty much, yeah.” he replies. “do you know what this one means?” he asks. he drags his finger over the horizontal line toward the top of your palm, tracing it back and forth. the tickling sensation of his fingertip against your hand sends a shiver through you. he feels you tremble and lets out a faint giggle.
“no.”
“it’s the heart line. it shows you how you behave in your relationships.”
“tell me, then. how do i behave in my relationships?” you tease.
“well,” he begins, his finger trailing over the line once again. “your line is long, and it extends from the edges of your palm to your index finger. that means you’ll have long, happy relationships.” you smile. “you also like to take care of people... and you do a great job at it.”
you shift a bit in his lap, turning your head to face him. “you got all that from one line?”
he smirks. “i added that last part, but yeah.” you roll your eyes, turning back and getting comfortable against him once more. “but look,” he says, placing his hand on your stomach and lifting the other. “mine is the same.” his thumb rubs back and forth against the fabric of your shirt as you examine the lines in his hand. sure enough, they’re aligned. he kisses the crown of your head as you intertwine your fingers with his.
“when did you learn all this?”
“i’ve been reading about it lately. i was looking at our hands the other day and noticed all the lines were the same.” he pauses, lifting your tethered hands and pressing a kiss onto the back of yours. “it makes sense, right?”
you rub the side of his hand with your thumb, looking up at him again. “it does.” you exchange soft grins.
it really, really does.
tags: @magglesx, @crscendoforsung, @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @pixielix, @skzctnightnight, @serenityswords-main, @childofthecosmos, @changbinniee, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @ncityluvvs (send a 🍓 in my ask box to be added for skz !)
genre/s: comfort, angst > fluff, established relationship au, hyunjin x gn reader
wc: ~2.6k
warnings: non-sexual nudity (mc, not hyunjin; vague descriptions of body parts), anxious/depressed/self-deprecating thoughts, in-depth description of a panic attack, mc has hair that’s long enough to brush
a/n: this one’s based on a suggestion by the lovely @crscendoforsung !! i wanted to make it a bit angsty for ya since,,,, i Know You :) it’s also a pretty exact account of an experience i had as well so.. that’s fun... lol. if you ever have a suggestion for the series feel free to check out the suggestion box !!
there are always going to be times where nothing seems to be going your way. sometimes days, sometimes weeks, sometimes years… and it’s hard opening up about those things. those things that eat away at your psyche until it seems as though there’s little to nothing left; the things you never say out loud for fear they might manifest themselves; the things you even dread telling the man you love for fear of worrying him. it’s times like these where you don’t want to be heard or seen, but rather to curl up into a ball and let everything you need to out of your system. it creeps up on you. right now, as beads of hot water pierce your back and your face rests in your trembling hands, you’re reminded of this feeling. it plagues your body, haunts your thoughts… and honestly, you’re not sure how it happened. but you know that if hyunjin sees or hears you, he’ll take on your troubles as if they’re his own. so you stay quiet.
you’re honestly just confused. angry at yourself. frustrated. you’d caught yourself staring into space again. it happens every so often, but each time it does you get more and more fed up with your lack of self control. your dazed, dissociated mind will get the best of you at times. it can get to the point where, like today, you can be in the middle of a simple, everyday task - taking a shower, brushing your teeth, sometimes even doing work - and you’d just be stripped of your attention span. and, it can last for as short or as long a period of time as it so chooses. it makes you feel like you’re out of control of your own body; as if the vessel in which your spirit is contained is caving from the outside in, crushing your spirit in the process.
heart racing against your thoughts, shallow breaths rising and falling at a staggering pace, fingers trembling as you fold your hands together and squeeze them closer in a weak attempt to make it all go away. you begin to wonder why you’re like this. how you can go from applying shampoo to your hair to feeling the water grow lukewarm as your mind wanders into oblivion. oftentimes, you blame yourself, citing a simple lack of intelligence for the way your head takes over like this. you don’t even know when it began. prior to moving in with hyunjin, of course, but… were you always like this? was this always how your brain decided to occupy itself? have you always been so spacey… so vacant, so stupid? why are you like this? why are you so broken? why won’t it all just slow down or stop? why don’t you just-
whoa. where did that come from?
these thoughts strike you, almost as if you’ve been slapped in the face. your cheeks heat up as a stinging sensation overtakes your eyes. tears. droplets of disparity, dripping down the drain. what feels like a chill courses through your body, making your bones shake and joints buckle. seeing stars, your knees give out, sending you to the porcelain floor of the bathtub. you sit with your legs folded, leaning over with your face in your hands. heaving breaths, hot tears, piercing beads of water shooting out from the showerhead to the sensitive skin on your back. shaking, shuttering, ashamed. especially since you’ve given up trying to stay silent.
you hear the bathroom door creak open. shit. but just like any other instance, you can’t seem to stop convulsing nor crying.
“baby…?” you hear hyunjin’s soft, youthful voice calling to you over the running water. “baby, are you okay?” he must’ve heard you fall.
you try to catch your breath. and, of course, you fail. just like you failed to pay attention to the task at hand, failed to conceal the breathy sobs over which your lover must now worry… you’re choking on your own futility. “no,” you whisper, your face still contorting in your hands.
before you can object, a hand reaches into the shower and shuts the water off before hastily pushing the shower curtain to the side. now, more than ever, you’re hyperaware of the volume at which you’ve been sobbing. the chill of the air rises over your naked form but is quelled by hyunjin’s warm hand against your back. he’s taken a seat next to the tub, a look of concern and shock spread across his face. you can’t even look at him. you can’t bear the fact that he can see you right now. your physical bareness doesn’t even concern you. it’s the emotional nakedness that sends you deeper into your descent.
but oh, what it’s doing to hyunjin.
he feels so helpless. so terrible. so guilty. he doesn’t even know what happened, and yet his only wish is to be able to go back and stop it from happening. guilt, responsibility, fear... it’s enough to force a tear from his own eye, as well. “what’s wrong,” he whispers, his voice trembling as his face tightens and lips quiver. you can’t help but let out another bout of choked sobs and convulsions. he leans into the tub, gently pulling your wet hair out of your face and draping his arm across your bare back. he presses a kiss to your spine, then rests his cheek against you. as more teardrops emerge from his eyes, he strokes your hair. “breathe,” he murmurs. under his breath, closing his eyes, he adds, “please, breathe.”
mind you, this isn’t the first time he’s seen you like this. maybe not in the same circumstances, but you’ve had similar episodes while out in public, while doing work, or even while trying to fall asleep. however, when he’s around, he’s able to help calm you down before things get this extreme. many times, his prolonged embrace alone is enough to drag you out of your daze and back to reality. but every time he holds you close enough to feel your heart fervently pulsing within your chest, his pangs for you. whenever your heartbeats are not aligned, he wants nothing more than to trade.
you do as he says. you try to concentrate on your breathing. though your mind is still fuzzy, you rely on your senses. with the aid of hyunjin’s caresses and directions, you’re able to begin breathing at a semi-regular pace. though a stutter remains in your breathing pattern, everything seems to have slowed. he lifts himself from you, leaning toward your face to get a better look at you, regardless of the agony your aching expression puts him through. “you did so well,” he mutters. you sit up, wrapping your arms around yourself as the air hits your wet skin. “here,” he says, quickly rising to grab a towel from the metal rack on the wall. wrapping it around you, he holds onto your arms as you use the side of the tub to lift yourself up to a standing position. he helps you step out of the tub and onto the floor. despite the humidity of the confined room, the tile beneath your feet is chilling.
you sniffle, wiping your face with your hands. he takes two fistfuls of the towel and replaces your hands, patting your face dry. that’s when you notice he’d been crying too. you look into his pink tinted eyes with an overwhelming twinge of guilt. “i’m-” you croak. but he knows what you’re going to say.
“don’t be sorry,” he interjects, looking deeply into your eyes and cupping your face in his hands. “please?” you nod, averting your eyes from him. he makes you so happy. so comfortable. so at home. and yet, you feel so embarrassed. he’s seen you like this before. but the feeling never seems to lift. he licks his lips, placing a kiss against your cheek before travelling across your jaw and down to your neck. then, he begins patting you dry with the towel, gently brushing over your skin with the cotton fabric.
you’re so grateful for him. he shouldn’t have to do this for you. he shouldn’t have to care for you as if you’re a child; you should be able to do basic tasks. it’s all you can think about as he travels down your body, blotting the water off of you. so much so that it brings back the wetness in your eyes. you think you’re undeserving. you think you’re hopeless.
he stands back up, getting ready to towel dry your hair. that is, until he sees the single tear dripping down your cheek. his stomach drops. he wonders if his efforts aren’t enough. he wonders if he deserves to be the one who takes care of you. if he can’t do that, what can he do? at least that’s what he’s made himself believe.
so much unspoken.
“love, what’s wrong?” he asks, tilting your chin toward him with his thumb and forefinger.
“i…” you start. you don’t even know where to begin.
you glance away, eyes flicking to the clothes you’d picked out to wear after you showered - the main component being one of his t-shirts. he follows your eyes, hastily setting the towel down and grabbing the garments. “let’s put these on. i’ll help you.” you nod, sniffling. he gives you a bittersweet smile, crouching down to help you step into your underwear. once your undergarments and shorts are on, he picks up the t-shirt and smiles to himself. he didn’t quite recognize it as his own before. it’s a mixed feeling. he helps you into the shirt, his warm fingertips pressing against your waist as the fabric settles atop your form. his thumbs rub back and forth against the material. it’s a small gesture, but it’s soothing.
you shakily place a hand against his chest. “thank you,” you mumble, your voice still small and strained.
he gives you a half-smile before taking your hand in his and pressing a kiss onto your knuckles. you know he’s trying his best. and he knows you are too. that’s why he doesn’t prod. instead, he grabs the towel from the counter and a hairbrush with his other hand. “come on,” he says, leading you out of the bathroom and into your shared bedroom. he takes a seat on the bed, his back resting on the headboard. he taps a hand to his thigh. you climb onto the bed, then onto his lap, facing him. “close your eyes, baby.” and so, you do as instructed. his efforts are beginning to elicit more endearment than guilt out of you. it’s dawning on you that he’s enjoying the surface level elements of taking care of you just as much as you’ve relished in receiving them. he wraps the towel around the back of you, placing it atop your wet head. as he massages your scalp with the towel, rubbing and compressing your dripping locks, you hum in relief. it feels so warm. he makes you feel so warm.
you take a deep breath. he smiles at you, even though you can’t see it. he thinks you’re adorable. and he’s relieved you can breathe again.
after he’s done drying your hair, he tosses the wet towel down onto the floor beside the bed and grabs the brush. placing his other hand on your waist, he says, “tell me if it hurts. if i’m hurting you, i’ll stop.”
opening your eyes, you let out a small giggle. “you could never hurt me,” you reply. and, it’s true. he never has, and he never will. you pinky swore on it a long, long time ago.
a breath escapes his nose as his smile grows wider. “ok.” he tilts your head to the side. ever so gently, he begins brushing through your still-damp hair, carefully and slowly untangling any knots. eventually, he turns your head to the other side so he can reach more of you. once your hair has been fully detangled, he places the brush down on the bedside table in favor of wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. “all done.” you encase his neck in your arms, resting your head against his shoulder. the pads of his fingertips roam all over the expanse of your back, lulling you into a relaxed state of mind.
“thank you,” you whisper into his neck.
“you don’t need to thank me.”
“yes i do,” you respond, sitting upright. “you shouldn’t have to do all of this for me. but you did. but you do.”
he cuts you off slightly, hands passionately gripping onto your hips. “i do this because i want to. we take care of each other. you would do the same for me.”
you roll your eyes. not because you’re angry or annoyed, but because what he said is true. you would do the same for him, any time. but that’s because he deserves it. why do you? “yeah, but…” you trail off, eyes drifting to the side as that familiar tingling arises in your face. your lip trembles, signalling to hyunjin that, once again, his efforts were ineffective.
“baby, what’s wrong?” he whispers, placing a hand on your cheek to draw your face back to center. you look at him, your brow furrowed and a tear escaping your eye, reaching up to hold his hand as he strokes your cheekbone with his thumb. he wipes the salty remnants of your pain off of your skin, though the sentiment remains.
you climb off of his lap. he lifts the covers and blankets so the two of you can slip inside. laying down and facing him, you let out a deep sigh.
“it’s just… it happened again,” you say. he pulls the covers over your bodies and shifts closer toward you.
he tucks your freshly brushed hair behind your ear before placing his hand upon your side. “mhm.”
“and i couldn’t concentrate on anything else. i forgot where i was, and what i was doing…” you sniffle. you don’t want to send yourself back into such an emotional state, but you want to help him understand how you’re feeling. so, you do your best to explain. everything. everything from zoning out to your body becoming fragile, and even to the feeling of worthlessness that accompanies it all.
he comes close to crying again, but he pulls himself together for your sake. he doesn’t want you to feel guilty for feeling. instead, he pulls himself closer to you and presses a kiss upon your cheek. “i’m proud of you, you know,” he says before kissing your face again.
“why?” you ask, chuckling with a slight smile spread across your lips.
“because!” he objects. he tickles your side, prompting your smile to widen and laughter to continue. “you were brave enough to tell me.”
“i thought i was a baby,” you tease. you playfully grab his hands off of you… but you know you won’t get too far.
“you’re not a baby.” he climbs on top of you, pinning your arms above your head and placing a trail of kisses along your cheek and neck. then, with his hands traveling back to your sides to tickle you some more, his voice deepens. “but you’re my baby.” you can’t help but giggle, bombarded with kisses and blushing from the contact. your reaction only eggs him on. he smiles into the crook of your neck before leaving a series of kisses against it, tickling you all the while.
sure enough, you’ve forgotten all about what had happened just an hour ago. it’s as if nothing occurred at all. not because you’re distracted, not because you’ve dismissed it, but rather because you felt comfortable enough with your lover to share your deepest, most vulnerable inner turmoil. and he received you with open arms, an even more accepting heart, and a trail of sloppily laid kisses that’ll leave a swarm of butterflies aflutter in your stomach for days to come.
he succeeded, finally. and the both of you couldn’t be more pleased.
another note: if you’ve experienced something similar to this, please know you’re far from alone, and i’m always here if you need someone to talk to. i hope this can comfort you in some way. love u ♡
tags: @magglesx, @crscendoforsung, @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @pixielix, @skzctnightnight, @serenityswords-main, @childofthecosmos, @changbinniee, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @ncityluvvs (send a 🍓 in my ask box to be added for skz !)
