#kmgn

[kissmamagoodnight]

“Oldest profession in the world is prostitution” is such a violently misogynistic statement that I can’t even fathom it.

No because even if you ignore the context of the colonising imperialist who coined that phrase, huh?

Do you think for 30,000 years, half of the human species was doing nothing but spreading her legs for a grapefruit? You don’t think we were doing anything before that?

You can only comprehend female history, even as far back as the ancient world, in the context of us getting raped in exchange for goods? That’s it?

The hunters? The labourers? The farmers? The gatherers? The scouts? The child rearers? The healers? The builders?

You think it’s in any way empowering to claim the first piece of women’s working history is just our vaginas getting fucked by strangers? Are you serious? Thinking about it gets me mad.

[kissmamagoodnight]

I finally got around to reading The Incest Diary and I decided to read it all in one go else I knew I wouldn’t get through it all. I only paused once when I couldn’t stomach it but otherwise it was so well written and honest.

She told her story as truthfully as she could: of the victim that people don’t want to acknowledge.

You can’t acknowledge that grooming and rape is bad and then reject those who are affected and possessed by them. Grooming is supposed to make the victim quiet about their abuse, even enjoy, “consent” and “collude” with it. Sometimes grooming works. Sometimes rape by a family member will make someone crazy.

As she said, the ideal father-daughter incest victim fights and runs away and screams from the hilltops about what happened. But she was silenced by her father, her family, her friends.

She was threatened with murder if she fought or ran away. Of course someone threatened from infancy, a child, a baby, would not be able to run.

A person frozen by their thinking — thinking formed by incest and violence — not be able to fight back. Both physically and mentally. Would internalise and try to enjoy the endless abuse (abuse that would not end even if she didn’t try to find some pleasure in it) as a survival mechanism.

I hated going to the reviews and seeing people dismiss her experience as pornographic fanfiction. I also hated people speculating on her identity.

The final parts she wrote about her current marriage made her terribly sad, but I was unsurprised. It’s common for victims to be revictimised. She mentioned how it felt like rapists and abusers could “smell” the trauma on her. To extent she’s right. The people of the worst kind will intentionally seek out the vulnerable and traumatised who they know will not fight back as that’s their method of survival. It breaks my heart. I hope she finds peace wherever and whoever she is. Her father and family made it so she never stood a chance.

I wish I could say that times have changed, she’s grown and the younger generation of mothers, grandmothers, brothers and friends would treat an incestuous rape victim any differently… but I can’t. I’m sorry, Miss. You reached many people with your autobiography

[kissmamagoodnight]

“[Just] because no penis is involved does not make it “less than” male/female incest.”

The Last Secret: Daughters sexually abused by mothers, Bobbie Rosencrans, 1997

[kissmamagoodnight]

Sex positive censorship yapping heterosexuals and other radqueers who consider themselves feminists only really care about feminism in the context of casual sex, birth control, and “empowering” sexy-wear. Of course I love birth control, and I wish all adults could have coercion free, consensual and enjoyable sex if that’s what they want. But then these sex positive’s feminism stops there. They don’t care about child marriage, they don’t care about rampant child porn, they don’t care about VAWG, they don’t care about combating beauty standards, domestic violence shelters, they don’t care about FGM, CSA and incest propaganda (unless it’s in porn), they don’t care about intersectionality. They only care about feminism as tool for them to male pander. So really they aren’t a feminist. They’re a “spread-my-legs”-ist.

[kissmamagoodnight]

Incest is not transgressive. It’s barely taboo. Incest is common place. Just as rape and child sexual abuse and physical abuse and emotional abuse are common place — incest, another form of abuse, is too. There is no form of abuse that exists without being enabled by patriarchy. There is nothing transgressive or progressive about abuse. There’s nothing “prudish” about condemning abuse.

[kissmamagoodnight]

I am not a victim to sibling incest (though I have been to cousin incest) and so, as an MDSA victim, I am very passionate about dispelling them both as they are often dismissed and weaponized in pro-incest “consensual” arguments and it makes my blood boil.

I hope to spread more and more facts about the reality of sibling and cousin incest on behalf of the survivors of it, and also to those who victims did not survive and can no longer speak about the injustice committed against them.

Sidenote: I am very aware all incest is dismissed and subject to apologism. I am a same sex, female perpetrated, maternal incest victim, after all. Although I more commonly notice sibling/cousin incest used in myopic arguments for consanguinity … This is due to the possibility of small or minuscule age gaps between siblings and cousins… arguments that completely dismiss family hierarchy, misogyny, and dynamics between older and younger children.

For more on sibling incest, see here and here.

[kissmamagoodnight]

“I had to chant to fall asleep to keep my mind off the “black hole” which represented the incest before I remembered it.”

(The last secret: Daughters sexually abused by mothers, by Bobbie Rosencrans.)

[kissmamagoodnight]

“Incest is not a rare deviation, not all of its victims or offenders are psychotic... Helping incest victims requires us to educate ourselves, clarify our values, and practice those values.“

(“The Reality of incest” Janet O’Hare, Katy Taylor, 1983)