#kmsthoughts

[igotmeseries]

𝟷𝟽𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟸,

After what has been chaotic days of battling with my emotions, push and pull force making me try to run away and escape my thoughts, I am finally taking this leap of faith.

I have asked different people with regards to their opinion about this situation including my friends, people I barely know in and out of your culture. I guess I really have to be more straightforward.

I have seen countless signs I prayed for and advices I want to hear and now it is really up to me what to do and which step to take next.

I have always considered confessing or atleast letting you know how I exactly feel towards you but something has been holding me back. The timing? Composing the words how to tell you? I do not know.

One last time, I went through our WhatsApp conversation reminiscing on the breadcrumbs because I do not know how will you react once I finally confess. Will you block me? Ask me to stop? Feel the same way? End this connection? I don’t even have an idea how to respond.

But one thing is for sure, I am now finally doing it. Been taking risks lately and heavy on “it’s now or never” because life is short.

Just like what you said, don’t late ‘til it’s too late.

𝑦𝑎 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑣𝑜𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑠 𝑎 𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟 𝑗𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑜𝑠 𝑠𝑖 𝐷𝑖𝑜𝑠 𝑙𝑜 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑚𝑖𝑡𝑒, 𝐷. ♡

[igotmeseries]

intrusive.

time check: 2am – just as when i thought i would have more clarity and peace of mind from being disconnected to these social media i mostly invest my time on, facebook & instagram, it seemed to be more chaotic.

for the past few days that i’m grounded, different hues of thoughts have been giving me hard time to sleep.

i know deep inside i still have grudges towards my ex but at this very moment, i want to talk to him with nothing beyond friends. i miss how comforting and sort of a wake up call his advices and words seem to be. despite me despising his choice of words with no brakes at times.

my main problem is – me trying to run away from my emotions. i have already seen the signs i have prayed for and heard advices i asked for yet here i am looking for an escape so i can simply brush this off and move past it BUT oh boy, was i wrong.

the more days are passing by, the more it gets harder, heavier for me not being able to compose myself and take that leap of faith towards the uncertainties of this connection. and what bothers me the most? this isn’t just.. so me.

i was always a risk taker, i have always been heavy on believing about how it is now or never and everytime i think about jumping, it sends me adrenaline rush. i confuse my feelings as palpitation, heart flutters or anxiety. maybe i have to, maybe i won’t.

let’s just see what happens..