It's strange to think how only weeks ago, Maria could never have imagined the depths of despair she would soon sink into, or the future waiting for her. It feels like those times - the times when her family was whole - were years ago, now; yet she remembers them perfectly, and those crystal-clear memories now only serve to torment her, leaving her shaking under the weight of the pain they bring.
Perhaps she's being melodramatic. But she feels she's earned the right to be, just a little. Her mother, who she may never she again, is a vampire - cursed to be hated and rejected by all, having become the thing she hated the most - a monster. She'll never walk in the sunlight again. And that fate was supposed to be Maria's... that's what hurts the most. The fact that she's desperate to escape but can never run away from, so agonizing it's unbearable - is that in the end, it's all her fault.
And her father's.
Maria feels her stomach lurch at the thought of him. Grinds her teeth together. It's not like she isn't trying to move forward, like she's sure her mother wanted for her - Richter, too... but it's hard, harder than anything she's ever known. She feels useless, too, which is a feeling she hates more than anything. Seeing Richter, though... while it doesn't exactly ease the weight in her chest, his presence reminds her that she hasn't lost everything, that there are still some things worth fighting for in this world. And she's grateful for that, at the very least.
"You're giving me that look again." she says, once she notices him staring. She's not the person she used to be, and it's no surprise that he can see that, but she feels so exposed and ashamed under his gaze. There's no judgement there, though. She can't see any, anyway.
"Are you worried about me? You don't need to be." The bitterness that colored her words before is gone now, because Richter doesn't deserve that directed at him. "I know you're thinking of leaving, but... I'm not completely useless on my own."
@knightfeared ( starter! )














