Apr 14, 2018
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#i!!!!!!!!!!!#don't!!!!!!!!!!#know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so i just end up screaming at the void!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'll scream more at the void!!!!!!!!#get this void!!!!!!!#i miss him!!!!!!!!!!! i really really miss him and i will for a while!!!!!!!!!!#i knew this was going to happen but i hoped it wouldnt until the last possible second!!!!!!!!#i delayed opening the message a bit bc i knew what it was going to say#but i somehow openend it still managing to hold out hope it would say something like#hey lets meet somewhere i want to talk to you#imagine for a second being as stupid as i am#i feel very very lost and i don't know what to do!!!!!#because the only solution my shit brain comes up with is 'just talk to him :)'#and that's just not an option anymore so#i'm very very lost and i miss him very very much#everything feels worthless and pointless and i shouldnt have bothered with any of it#what was the point ??????#i gave someone time and energy and i cared for them and they mattered to me and#i end up like this#in the end we all want Validation i guess#it would be better if i Knew ykno#if i knew for certain that i mattered#that making the decision was tough#that i wasnt just discarded bc i didn't suit them#but that is what it feels like#and i can't confirm anything w put talking to him#which is not an option#i do wish i could have said goodbye properly
