I’m not good at dating. I’m not good at “let’s be casual,” or “we’ll see where this goes.“
See, that’s the thing—I want to know where this is going. I want to know the purpose — because why have something meaningless? Life’s too damn short for meaningless.
No, I’m not crazy. I don’t need to know your favorite color, your deepest fear, and if you think you’ll fall in love with me on our very first date.
But I’d like to. I’d like to know the way your mind works, if it’s calm and patient, nervous and hesitant, or if you’re just as passionate as me.
I want to know everything about you. The real you, and I want to fall into you, unafraid. I want us to go somewhere, not sit stagnant and still. Love isn’t stagnant and still.
And I’m not the ‘we’re just messing around’ type of girl. I don’t ‘mess around.’ Why give you pieces of myself when you can’t even commit to staying? I won’t be able to make you fall in love with me, and frankly, I shouldn’t have to try. So no, I won’t ‘mess around’ because at the end of the day, we’re just wasting each other’s time. We’re just keeping one another from falling in love. And no matter how we try to convince ourselves otherwise, that’s what we’re all searching for.
If I’m being honest, I don’t understand the dating world. I don’t understand the quickness, the half-heartedness, the jumping from person to person and the ‘feeling things out’. When I spend time with someone, when I start to get to understand them, when I let them see me in all that I am, that’s everything to me.
I don’t know how to shut off the stream of emotions, the excited butterflies when I hear their name, the passion I feel for wanting to discover who they are behind their surface.
I can’t help wanting to fall for them. Not nervously, not hesitantly, and sure as hell not casually. Is that so wrong?
Words: @_marisadonnelly Photo: @thesnapmind Repost: @thoughtcatalog