Is determining one’s sexual orientation hard? Is there any way that confuses an individual of whom he or she truly is? Should we really follow to what the society dictates us who we really are or should we stick on to what we really feel and believe in?
Growing up, I was a fan of Barbie, dresses, bags, heels and other girly stuff. In fact, my favorite color until now is pink. I don’t know but pink brings me happiness. All of these things exemplify how girly I am but there was a point in my life that I experienced something different. Something I’ve never imagined that I was able to do and something that changes my view towards LGBTQ community.
When I was young, my mother always told me not to get near on lesbians. I should stay away and just ignore them. My mom was overprotective that time because I have a close friend that is a lesbian. Maybe she’s just thinking that I will do the same too or maybe I would do bad things with my friend since that friend of mine kind of has a negative personality. But eventually, I didn’t listen to my mother and I kept my friendship strong.
This story is not about me and my friend but a story of me and my friend’s other friend. So my friend has another lesbian friend. My friend wanted me to be friends with her friend too so I accepted it. But her friend is kind of shy and doesn’t really talk to me or even look at me. At that time, I was skeptical on continuing the introduction process because I thought that nothing will happen eventually. But as days go by, my friend’s other friend messaged me let’s just call her F. So F texts me everyday, calls me constantly, making sure that I’m okay. One day, she confessed her feelings for me and that time, I fell for her. I don’t recall what really happened but we clicked. I liked the way she makes me her priority. I liked the way she cares for me. I liked the way she makes me feel that I’m important and I’m loved. We never did what other couples do. We’re only settled on texting and calling and we’re fine with it. But that time, I was too young and I knew that all of those things are unacceptable to my family, so I ended it. She refused but I stood on my decision.
My past experiences with F really have an impact on my views toward other gender. Before, I was skeptical but now I’m sure that they should have the equality and respect that they deserve. We can’t dictate what they should be. All we need to practice is acceptance.
I actually don’t have any regrets on what happened before because it teaches me a valuable lesson that builds who I am now and where I stand. Experience is really the best teacher and proudly, I can say that I really learned a lot from this experience.
Now, I’m happily contented on what I am and what I have. I respect other people’s opinion and wants in life. All I want to spread right now is positivism and happiness.
