Gem (part 3)
Inosuke / fem reader
Read part one here
Read part two here
notes: A kind, anonymous user reached out to me on here which really lit a fire in me to write a third part. I kept your kind words in mind while writing! I hope you enjoy 🩵 (also, 'yuujou' means courtesan or prostitute)
Chapter summary: Even after escaping the entertainment district, you still find yourself feeling trapped.
word count: 9.6k
@chiharuhashibira
“You’re so cute…”
You hummed, brushing a strand of hair out of Inoko’s face. You gently tucked it behind her ear, making space to dip a wet sponge onto her face. You watched how the thin layer of makeup painted her skin a snow-white, forming a dazzling contrast to her dark, curious eyes.
It took you a while, but Inoko finally warmed up to you.
She sat before you with her knees folded, her hands politely glued to her thighs. She was draped in the kimono you gave her, the young girl seemingly pleased with her present. You chuckled as her gaze darted around the room, too nervous or bashful to fully meet your gaze.
“With a face like that, you’ll become an Oiran in no time.”
The first thing you noticed was Inoko’s serenity.
She was twichty at first. She carried an aura of impatience, her demeanor wrapped in irritated huffs and disgruntled noises as she looked for something she had yet to find.
She was dry, stoic, and impossible to keep still.
And yet, you watched how the courtesan’s walls crumbled as she became tranquil in your hands, her frantic heartbeat finally slowing. Her mind grew hazy as she focused on your movements, bathing in your gentle touch caressing her skin.
“I hope you’ll remember me when you rise to the top.”
The praise in which you bathed her in made her lose sight of her goal. Any reminder of demons, upper ranks or Uzui’s missing wives slipped from her mind as she succumbed to your warmth.
Only for a piercing cry to shake you from your dream.
“(__)!!” The triplets wailed as they burst into your room, harshly sliding the door open without bothering to knock. You shrieked as you were violently dragged out of a different reality, blinking in confusion as you rose from your nap.
You immediately sat up in your futon, feeling your adrenaline spike at their sudden entrance.
“What’s wrong??” You inquired, feeling panic rise.
“It’s Aoi!” Sumi wailed as Naho gently pulled onto your sleeve. “She needs help!”
Your face grew stern, immediately understanding the situation as you kicked the warm blanket off your body. You trailed behind the triplets as they paved the way, leading you towards the source of sound.
“Get lost! Let me through!”
“No is no! What part of that do you not understand?”
You heard Aoi’s stern voice call in the distance, making you quicken your pace. You turned the corner, seeing how your pigtailed friend stood before an enraged Tsuchinoto slayer. Her brows were furrowed, her shoulders widened as she tried to block the exit with her body.
Despite how little clues you had gotten, you were quick to connect the dots.
You immediately took a stance beside Aoi, copying her body language as you gently rested your hand atop her shoulder. You watched her look to her side, her features visibly softening at the sight that was you.
“What’s going on?” you asked her, glancing at the slayer.
“He wants to head back to mount Fushigi with broken ribs, a mild concussion, and a punctured lung.” Aoi explained.
“FUCK OFF!” The slayer shouted, the volume of his voice rising. “I’LL KILL HIM! THE DEMON WHO KILLED MY SISTER!” He clutched his chest, his fingernails digging into the fabric of his uniform.
“You won’t even make the trip with your injuries!” Aoi bit back, her temper matching his. “If you leave now, you won’t come back!”
Your gaze turned serious as you stepped forward, blocking Aoi from the slayer as you confronted him head-on. Taking advantage of your height, you straightened your spine, slightly lifting your chin.
“She’s right.”
You stated, not breaking any eye-contact. You watched the way in which the slayer shifted on the balls of his feet, his nostrils flaring in anger as his patience was beginning to reach its end.
“Your life is too important. You need to stay and recover before diving into a mission head-first.”
You watched how the slayer stayed momentarily silent, his eyes widening in both bewilderment and surprise at your words of advice. He cocked his head to the side, arrogance and contempt swirling in his eyes as he stared you down.
“Oh? Oh?”
He stepped forward, creeping towards you with pure malice.
“And who’s talking, huh?”
You stayed quiet, brows furrowing as you observed the venom in his words.
“Why would any of us listen to a whore like you?”
You tried your hardest to swallow the insult, keeping your face in check despite the ache you felt blooming in your heart.
“You’ve never even seen a demon. You don’t even know what they look like. You don’t know shit.”
Your heartbeat quickened, the muscle slamming against your ribs as your fingertips began to tremble.
“Because this whore right here is one of the very few people that’s qualified to help you recover.” You replied, trying your hardest to give the slayer a rational reply,
“Qualified?” The slayer repeated, dumbfounded. “Qualified? Don’t make me laugh.” He sneered, a spineless chuckle erupting from his throat.
“The only thing you’re good at is —”
--“That’s enough.” Aoi intervened. “She’s right. We understand you’re heartbroken and scared, but lost lives won’t return. You going on a suicide mission will only worsen the blows the corps has suffered so far.”
You moved aside, now unblocking the exit with your frame. “If you want to die a meaningless death, then go. If you want to contribute to the fall of Kibutsuji Muzan, then stay. The choice is yours.”
The slayer, whose adrenaline was still going through the roof, seemed to rationalize as he processed your words. He swallowed hard, considering his options as he stepped back. He scowled, gritting his teeth before moving towards the other direction.
Re-entering the butterfly estate, the tsuchinoto closed the door with a violent bang.
A silence settled as you and Aoi stood still side by side, the both of you processing the entire encounter. You hadn’t even noticed the cowering triplets who had hidden in the corner, a silent spectator to the whole ordeal.
“Are you okay?” Your voice pierced the stillness, watching at how her pigtails swayed when she moved to look at you. Her striking blue eyes softened as she sighed in relief.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “Thanks for backing me up.”
Another silence settled.
“I’m gonna start making dinner.” You said, inching towards the room’s exit.
“(__) wait.”
Aoi’s face was morphed into a frown, her eyebrows furrowed as something saddened swirled amidst the blue of her eyes.
“I’m sorry …” Aoi confessed. “I know grieving people can really lash out sometimes, but still, he shouldn’t have said that to you.”
She paused.
“I’m sorry he called you a who- “
“It’s fine.” You interrupted her, making a swatting motion with your hand. “It doesn’t bother me, really. It’s not like it’s anything I haven’t heard before.”
Although that comment was meant to soothe Aoi’s nerves, you watched how it created the opposite effect. Her frown worsened, the sorrow in her eyes amplifying.
“(__), you aren’t a—”
“I’m going to make dinner now.”
There was a certain edge in your expression, a sudden sharpness in your tone. Aoi nodded, understanding that whatever troubled you, you didn’t want to talk about it.
“I’ll see you later.”
With that, you gently closed the door.
——
“It’s good!”
Zenitsu hummed in delight, licking his utensils as he savored the taste of the steak you made. The tender meat was seared just to his liking, the flavors melting on his tongue.
“It really is!” Tanjirou added in agreement, taking another piece from the shared plate before Inosuke could claim any of them.
“Where is she actually?” The blonde inquired. “I haven’t seen her all day today.”
Tanjirou hummed, turning his face to see Inosuke’s. The dumbfounded look of his friend failed to give him any closure. “Even you haven’t talked to her? That’s unusual.”
Inosuke grumbled something in response, seemingly frustrated he wasn’t able to provide an answer.
Far away from the source of chit-chat you stood, mindlessly scrubbing dishes in the estate’s kitchen. Many slayers had returned from their missions today, leaving you and Aoi with tremendous amounts of meals to cook and plates to clean.
Your mind grew hazy as you scrubbed the filthy plates, the mix of warm water and soap making your fingers prune. You sighed at the stack of dishes beside you, making you realize you were nowhere near finished.
The sun had already set, making you peer outside at the moonlit yards of the estate. The dim lighting of some flickering candles illuminated the scene, but failed to give you any comfort.
The slayer’s words had stung.
You didn’t even know his name. Yet somehow, through the words of hushed whispers and confined rumors, he knew about your past. He knew what kind of environment you grew up in, the work you stained your hands with.
It felt piercing.
Your hand stopped scrubbing, your body ceasing to move.
Why am I so hung up about this? You thought, scolding yourself for your petty emotions. It’s just like Aoi said. Hurt people hurt people.
After a brief moment of quiet contemplation, your cleaning continued. You forced your body to move on autopilot, scrubbing every last dish until the tower disappeared.
You sighed in relief when you finished the mundane task, feeling your hands beginning to cramp from the repetitive movements.
You had no idea how much time slipped through your fingers. A lot you assumed, given how unusually quiet the estate was.
You moved, turning your body to glance at the kitchen table.
Your stomach dropped when you realized you and Aoi had prepared all meals but your own. You groaned in defeat, feeling way too exhausted to create another meal from scratch.
Giving up on the idea of dinner, you slouched towards your private bedroom, letting your feet roam the empty halls. You slid your door open, stepping into the comfort of your bedroom.
A small bowl of seasoned noodles rested gently onto your futon, its scent infiltrating your nostrils. You smiled at the sight, feeling your heart swell at the kind gesture.
You kneeled down, perking up when a note seemed to have been slipped underneath the bowl.
Don’t forget to eat, idiot. I’m watching you.
You chuckled, mentally thanking Aoi for her care. Your eyes squinted slightly to read another line of text she had written underneath.
I’m here if you need someone to talk to.
Your smile wavered a bit. Was your distress really that easy to notice?
You put the note down, grasping the chopsticks Aoi had left behind as you began to dig in.
The muffled sounds of slurping filled the room, piercing the silence. Although your meal had grown cold, it was delicious nonetheless.
Your focus wavered however, at the odd sound of breathing.
You put down your chopsticks, blinking in bewilderment as you registered the sound. You nearly had a heart attack when you lifted your head to confront the noise.
Clutched to the ceiling sat Inosuke, all four limbs glued to the roof. You choked on the half-eaten noodles that still rested in your mouth, making you cough violently as your cheeks flushed.
“HAHAHA! YOU DID A GOOD JOB NOTICING ME!” He shouted, making the floorboards rattle when he detached himself from the ceiling. He puffed his chest out in pride as he stood before you, the beady eyes of his mask staring you down.
“What the hell are you doing here??” You inquired, your voice harsh due to your choking.
“Lord Inosuke has come to check up on his minions!” He declared, pointing towards himself. He plopped himself down, folding his legs as he sat before you. He crossed his arms, looking at you like his dramatic entrance was the most normal thing in the world.
“Why are you eating alone??” He asked, his voice way too loud for how quiet the estate was.
You pressed a finger to your lips, reminding him of his volume. “I was busy. Lots of slayers came back from mount Fushigi today, so me and Aoi really had our hands full.”
You heard him click his tongue. “Those wimps. That mountain is for babies!” He laughed. “That’s because I am way stronger than them after all!”
You chuckled softly, although no hint of joy reached your eyes.
A silence settled as you stared at the floor.
“What’s wrong?”
You perked up, making eye-contact with his mask. “What?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“No it’s not.”
“Yes it is.”
You heard him grumble something inaudible as you sighed, getting up from your seat.
“I need to go to the bathroom. Be right back.”
You felt the piercing stare of his boar-mask drill into your back as you exited the room.
You dragged your bathroom visit out a little, unsure how to feel about being this easy to read. Of course, you were happy Inosuke cared enough to check up, but still.
They had bigger things to worry about. Unlike some stupid nickname.
You sighed again as you slid open the sliding doors, re-entering your bedroom.
Only for your jaw to drop at the sight ahead.
The bowl of noodles Aoi made you was completely empty, clutched in the hold of a ferocious beast. Inosuke had chugged its whole contents down his throat, his loud chewing noises almost painful to your ears.
Your eyes widened at the sight.
As soon as Inosuke registered your dumbfounded expression, his chewing ceased. His jaws stilled, his green eyes scanning your form like an unknown deity.
“Inosuke-?” You huffed, your voice airy and thin. “Why did you-? When-?”
You watched as he wiped the grease off his mouth with his arm before smirking at you. “HAHA! YOU WEREN’T EATING IT, SO I TOOK IT!”
You didn’t say anything in return.
Instead, your widened eyes, pale skin and parted lips conveyed an emotion no amount of words could. He could sense no trace of anger or malice, but instead an overbearing disappointment that shook him to his core.
Motionless you stood, your body resembling that of a doll. The silence weighed him down, the consequences of his actions getting through to him.
His proud smirk melted off his face as he registered your expression, feeling a foreign emotion bloom into his heart. “Hey, what’s—”
“Something being right there in front of you doesn’t make it yours.”
You interrupted, the cadence of your voice sharp and uninviting.
Calm down. Don’t get upset.
You reminded yourself, unwillingly digging your nails into your palms as your stomach rumbled.
He’s the one who saves lives for a living. He deserves that food way more than you do.
Unbeknownst to you, Inosuke began to feel itchy. An overbearing discomfort spread across his skin, tantalizing his head. “Are you upse-“
“No.”
You replied, much harsher than you intended.
You saw his chest begin to ache a little.
“Please just go Inosuke. I don’t feel like having company today.”
Something about his demeanor changed. His shoulders sunk, the spark in his eyes trembled, and his lips turned into a frown.
“(__), I didn’t mean to-”
“Inosuke.”
The authority in your voice made him cower a little. As if his limbs were made of lead, he got up, carrying his frame out of your bedroom with shame draped around his body.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”
You didn’t reply.
——
The plants of the corn field swayed in the wind.
The only beacon of light was the moon, hidden behind packs of dark, rumbling clouds. The tall plants nestled together, forming an eternal abyss in the dark of night.
“I told you it looked scary at night huh?”
Your hand was clutching Inoko’s as the both of you stood in front of the field, forming a quiet spectator of the rustling plants and darkened clouds.
Her expression was a blank one. Her eyes were widened slightly as she took in the sight you showed her, staring at the scene you had brought her to.
“I heard that if you enter, you’ll never come back.”
You chuckled, teasing your quiet friend. Her calm composure didn’t waver at your lackluster attempt at scaring her, her expression unyielding as she continued to stare ahead.
You stayed quiet for a while, witnessing the dancing plants grow into arms as they beckoned you to enter.
“It’s okay.” You professed, giving Inoko’s hand a gentle squeeze. “As long as we stay together, nothing is scary.”
You woke up from your dream with a gasp. Widened eyes stared into the dark abyss of your bedroom, your heart beating in your chest as you grew aware of your surroundings.
As soon as the adrenaline faded, you groaned to yourself as you slowly began to sit up.
I keep dreaming about him…
You thought to yourself, rubbing your temples. I wonder why…
With the aftermaths of your dream lingering clearly in the back of your mind, the initial comfort it brought was quickly shattered. The reminder of the disappointment etched onto Inosuke’s face as you shooed him out of your room made your heart grow heavy, feeling guilt seep into your pores.
I should’ve just talked it out.
You scolded as you kicked the blanket off your body, exiting your room.
Why am I so immature?
Your feet carried you to the engawa, needing some fresh air now that all signs of drowsiness had evaporated from your body. You sighed in relief as soon as your limbs hit the hardened wood, letting the grass tickle your feet as you stared at the estate’s yard.
All thoughts seemed to slip from your mind as you focused on the quiet humming of chirping cicada and swaying trees. You inhaled deeply, granting your mind the inner peace it needed.
“Hey.”
You yelped at the sudden voice, jumping up at the sound.
“Oh. Sorry for scaring you.”
You turned your head to see a drowsy Zenitsu stand before you, sleepiness evident in his eyes as he rubbed them.
You exhaled in relief, clutching your heart. “My heart just came out of my ass.”
He chuckled, muttering another apology as he took a seat beside you.
There was no need for him to ask for permission this time, given how close the two of you had gotten in the time you’ve been here. You had grown accustomed to his antics, finding his constant pleads and whines for attention oddly endearing.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
You shook your head as you sighed.
“Yeah, me too.”
A silence settled.
“(__).”
“Yeah?”
“Are you upset?”
You turned your head around to face him, eyes blown wide in confusion. Your surprise deflated however, at the sudden reminder of his honed hearing.
You sighed, realizing there was nowhere to hide.
“Someone called me a whore today.”
You watched how Zenitsu’s face remained still before a sudden fury overtook him. His eyes widened in rage, his lips parted in utter shock.
“WHAT???????”
You violently shushed him, placing two hands atop his mouth to muffle his battle cry. Feeling embarrassed at his sudden outburst, he nodded in understanding, signaling for you to let go. You sighed as your hands detached itself from his skin, slowly backing up.
“Unforgiveable. Unforgiveable.” He seethed, teeth gritted in fury as he clenched his wrists. “Who did it??? I’ll kill him!!!!!!!!”
You made a swatting motion with your hands, shrugging. “I don’t know. Didn’t ask for his name.”
Zenitsu huffed in defeat. “Still, it’s unforgiveable. You don’t deserve that at all.”
You sighed once more, directing your gaze to your hands that laid sprawled out aimlessly in your lap. “I was just disappointed…” you lamented. “I’m trying to help people, but they refuse to listen to me because of my past…”
“(__).” Zenitsu uttered, his gaze growing serious as he initiated eye-contact. “I don’t think any of those people have any idea just how much you left behind to be with us today.”
You lifted your head, meeting his gaze. You witnessed a silent determination flicker within the warmth of his eyes.
“You’re amazing.” He professed. “I mean, look at you.”
He paused briefly. “You’re well-read, beautiful, elegant, and a ridiculously quick learner. I saw you carrying five plates on two limbs and learn skills in months that take years to learn.”
You chuckled.
“Besides…” Zenitsu paused, glancing at your hand. He wondered whether it was okay to reach out.
“You are surrounded by people here ashamed of their past.”
You perked up at that, having your interest piqued.
“Well, you know about Aoi-chan, right?” He asked. “The reason she became a nurse.”
You nodded.
Aoi had told you herself. Just like Tanjirou, she had also learned to use water breathing. According to her however, she merely survived final selection due to pure luck. Ever since then, she was too afraid to fight demons, leaving her in the position she’s currently in.
Zenitsu nodded, as if being able to read your mind. “You don’t think any less of her because of that, do you?”
“No.”
“Neither do I.” Zenitsu replied. “Or any of us.”
He softly poked a finger into you, wanting to reach your very heart. “And that very same principle applies to you too. None of us devalue you based on where you come from, or any of the things that happened to you throughout your life. What matters most is now and the actions you take that’ll determine your future. We have to keep our heads up high and remember what we’re fighting for. It won’t do us any good to keep dwelling on things neither of us can change.’”
You stayed quiet for a while before a warm, grateful smile curled your lips upwards. “Wow…you’re really insightful sometimes, Zenitsu.”
He awkwardly chuckled, the young boy feeling embarrassed at the littlest of praise. “Hehe…I try.”
“This feels nostalgic, you know…” You noted. “Do you remember when we sat like this that day? The day I arrived here?”
“Of course.” He smiled. “How could I forget?”
“Zenitsu.” You muttered. “Can I tell you something crazy?”
“Hmmm!”
“If I hadn’t met you that day, on this very engawa, I would’ve left.”
You watched how his smile melted off his face, making way for total surprise. “W-What?”
“Yeah.” You laughed. “It’s so funny, you know? You can spend your whole life hating a place but when you finally leave, you think to yourself, was it really that bad?”
Zenitsu nodded in understanding. “I know how that feels…”
A silence settled.
“Hey, Zenitsu?”
“Hmm?”
“Why did you become a swordsman?”
You watched his eyes widen ever so slightly. He sighed, his features softening.
“You know (__), I was an orphan my whole life. I didn’t have any family to take care of me. I was alone for as long as I remember.” He explained. “I had a bunch of girlfriends, but none of them really loved me. They used me for money before running away with someone else.”
You felt your heart ache in pity.
“My grandfather paid off all my debts and took me in. He was the former thunder hashira, and he was determined to make me his apprentice. Despite all my wailing and crying…”
Zenitsu laughed, although no hint of humor reached his eyes.
“I really hate myself sometimes.”
The ache in your chest grew worse, although you didn’t dare interrupt him.
“I’m always sniveling, crying, complaining, or blatantly running away. I’m nowhere as brave as Tanjirou or Inosuke. I want to change. I want to be a competent person.”
The blonde fiddled with his fingers, lost in thought until your gentle hand pulled him out of his haze.
Your smile as warm as the summer sun lit up his line of vision, shining amongst the dark. The warmth of your hand seeped into his shoulder, making a tightness bloom in his chest as he stared you down.
“Zenitsu.” You stated. “I think it’s alright to feel scared.”
His eyes widened in surprise.
“I mean, you’re fighting otherworldly beings for a living. Who wouldn’t be terrified?”
Your hand moved from his shoulder to rest atop his head. You chuckled when he evidently leaned into your touch, desperate for the scarce affection.
“And I mean, look at you. Look at what you’ve done. The people you saved, the families you rescued. Who cares if you snivel and cry? At the end of the day, in my eyes, you are exceptional, Zenitsu.”
He looked like he was about to cry. The amber of his eyes shone with something unspoken, his lips beginning to tremble. You laughed as you felt a warmth bloom in your chest, one that was amplified when your soft lips pressed a kiss to his forehead.
He short-circuited a little. His mind visibly went blank, his lips turning into the shape of an O.
You laughed as you backed up, letting him defrost a little.
Little did you know just how much impact that sliver of affection had on him.
A hummingbird in the far distance chirped a song.
“Can I uh…can I ask you something too?” Zenitsu mumbled.
“Of course.”
“How did you end up in Yoshiwara?” His gaze grew serious again. “What’s your story?”
You sighed, recalling some unpleasant memories. “It’s a long story, but I come from a…difficult household. My parents weren’t nice to me at all. After I reached a certain age, we all came to the unanimous conclusion that it was better if I wasn’t there.”
He stayed silent, letting you finish.
“I was sold off to the Ogimoto house and I stayed there ever since.”
You heard him exhale briefly through his nose.
“That isn’t true…”
“Hmm?”
“That things would be better if you weren’t there. That’s not true at all.” His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you sternly.
“You’re a delight. An angel sent from above. You’re kind, empathetic, well-spoken, communicative, caring…” He added. “I could go on and on…”
You saw determination flicker in his eyes as he reached out, his hand gently grasping yours.
“We are all so happy you’re here. We’re so grateful for the sacrifices you made in order to help us out.”
His hand moved to hold yours in a gentle embrace. You glanced at his soft, chipped nails, taking note of just how warm he was.
Such a tender hold.
“(__)…” He professed. “Thank you for staying.”
Moved by his rain of praise, you smiled. “Zenitsu…”
Embarrassed by the sudden proximity, you saw a redness creep up his cheeks. His hold on your hand wavered a little.
Little did you know how baffled he was. That a girl he liked so unfathomably much did not stray from his touch.
“You know, I can’t help but think of it sometimes…” You noted, staring at the yard again. “Do you think Inosuke would’ve cared if I left?” You asked. “Would he care if I were missing? Or would he just move on?”
Zenitsu blinked in utter bewilderment, seemingly dumbfounded by your question.
“Are you kidding??” He whisper-shouted, considerate of the sleeping slayers. “He would’ve been devastated. Heartbroken even!!”
You chuckled. “You think?”
“Of course!!!!!” He whisper-shouted again. “That guy cares about you, you know?”
You exhaled through your nose. “That’s nice to know at least…”
“Hey, speaking about Inosuke…” Zenitsu asked. “Did something happen today?”
You turned to look at him.
“He was unusually quiet when he came into our bedroom last night. I had a feeling it had something to do with you…”
You sighed in response, shrugging. “I was just upset that he ate all of my food. Again.”
Zenitsu seemingly deflated at your answer. “Really.”
“Yup.”
He threw his head back as he sighed. Deeply. “Yeah. That sounds like a very Inosuke thing to do.”
Another silence fell.
“(__), when was the last time Inosuke has given you a compliment?”
You blinked repeatedly, giving him a look of both surprise and confusion.
“You know, I keep thinking about it…” Zenitsu pondered. “I mean, I watch you guys every day. You shower him with praise. You call him cute, pretty, handsome or beautiful at least 50 times a day, but he never seems to say any of it back. Doesn’t that bother you? I mean, is he even attracted to you in the first place?”
A sudden ache pierced your chest, spreading across your veins. Your eyes widened as you processed his confession, feeling your heart begin to crack.
“He…” You babbled, dumbfounded. “He doesn’t think I’m pretty…?”
Zenitsu’s eyes widened in horror as he registered the sound of hurt emitting from your core. He shrieked, planting his hands onto your shoulders as he shook you back and forth.
“NO! NO! NO! THAT ISN’T WHAT I MEANT!!!!!!!” Zenitsu shouted, uncaring about the other residents of the butterfly estate. “I MEAN--!! I’M SURE HE DOES!!!”
“But you’re right…” You admitted, trying your hardest to keep your composure. “I can’t remember the last time he-“
“THAT DOESN’T MATTER!! NONE OF THIS MATTERS!!” He let go of your shoulders, burying his hands into his hair as he threw his head back in shame. “DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD I SAY!! I’M JUST RUNNING MY STUPID MOUTH!!”
You didn’t say anything in response as you stared aimlessly at the ground.
Inosuke’s gonna kill me. Zenitsu lamented in fear, desperately clutching your body in a tight hold you did not seem to return.
Although you heard the familiar cadence of Zenitsu’s shrill voice, none of it seemed to reach you anymore. His whining faded into the distance as you reminisced on the memories you made with Inosuke, frightfully coming to the realization that Agatsuma was right.
Inosuke had never complimented you even once.
You took a backseat to your own life as Zenitsu gently hoisted you upwards, mumbling something about ‘how it was getting seriously late’ as he walked you to your bedroom. You didn’t even register him tucking you in, shouting a final ‘GOODNIGHT’ before slamming the door shut in a frantic haze.
The lullaby of silence draped itself around your heavy limbs.
——
“I’m not sure if that was a good call to make, Zenitsu.” Tanjirou scolded, frowning. “Even if you do make a good point, you’re sabotaging their relationship.”
“I KNOOOOW!!!!!! YOU GOTTA HELP ME, TANJIROOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!! INOSUKE’S GONNA KILL ME WHEN HE FINDS OUT I DID THIS!!!!!!” Zenitsu wailed, clinging onto his beacon of hope with terrifying force.
Tanjirou made some swatting motions with his hand, trying to calm the sentiments of his panicked friend as he clutched his arms in desperation.
Tanjirou sighed. “Well, let’s try to see the positive in this.”
“POSITIVE????? WHERE???????? ARE YOU HAPPY I’M FINALLY MEETING MY END?????? IS THAT IT????? IS THAT IT????”
“Let me finish!!” Tanjirou scolded again, softly banging his fist onto Zenitsu’s head.
“I mean, I think it’s likely that (__)’s gonna confront him about it…” He muttered to himself. “I’m sure the both of them will talk it out. If you’re lucky, (__) won’t even mention your name.”
Tanjirou sighed. “You know, my first reaction is to always be honest and upfront about your mistakes. But in this case, you might get lucky.”
Tanjirou could swear he saw Zenitsu grow wings and ascend to heaven. His eyes glowed in joy as he clasped his hands together. “YOU REALLY THINK THAT??????”
“I don’t know--!!” He replied, staring at the yard ahead.
“We’ll see.”
——
It was Aoi who noticed you were acting different.
After that encounter with the tsuchinoto, you hadn’t been quite the same. Although she witnessed the whole ordeal herself, it seemed the simple insult carried far more power than it seemed.
You hadn’t said a word to her as the both of you inhabited the kitchen, slicing up vegetables and prepping meals for countless hungry slayers.
There was something distant in your eyes. Your pig-tailed friend glanced at you in concern, her face morphing into a frown when she did.
She wanted to reach out, to say something. To ease the worries lurking in your mind.
She didn’t know how.
She was never good at this affection-stuff. Perhaps if the roles were reversed and she were the one who’s upset, you’d definitely have been able to lift her spirits with your kind, compassionate words.
Her frown worsened, feeling guilty she couldn’t do the same.
She stared you down when you left the kitchen, moving onto the next chore after having completed your simple task. Her blue eyes remained fixated on your posture until you disappeared behind one of the many brown pillars.
The rest of the day was quiet.
Your heart felt heavy.
The ache in your limbs did not waver when you brought dinner to the three slayers you actually did not wish to see.
Your knuckles banged gently onto a thin wooden beam, Tanjirou’s kind voice granting you permission to enter.
You gently opened the door, forcing your lips into a smile as you balanced three steaming bowls of ramen within your hands.
“(__)!” Tanjirou joyfully called out, seemingly happy to see you. Zenitsu also perked up, mesmerized by the delicious scent. The two slayers sat in their PJ’s, resting after the intense training they endured.
The first thing you noticed was one missing body.
Inosuke wasn’t there.
“Hi there.” You smiled, gently kneeling down to set the two bowls onto the floor. “Please, eat up.”
The both of them thanked you wholeheartedly as they began to dig in, humming in delight.
“(__), are you not eating with us?” Tanjirou called out, noticing how the third bowl remained untouched.
You shook your head. “No, this one was meant for Inosuke. Where is he?”
Zenitsu swallowed. “Oh. He’s not here. He left for a mission.”
You looked at Zenitsu like he’d slapped you in the face. “What?”
Tanjirou nodded. “It’s true. He left a couple hours ago.”
The both of them immediately picked up on the concealed disappointment embedded within your expression. Your shoulders tensed, your lips pursing.
“I’m sure he had a reason as to why he didn’t say goodbye.” Tanjirou hushed, immediately understanding your hurt and confusion. The warmth of his hand found you shoulder, his eyes swirling with kindness. “Besides, his destination wasn’t far! He should be back soon!”
“That’s right!” Zenitsu added. “I believe his crow had something to say about an emergency!!”
You stayed quiet for a while, staring at nothing in particular as your two friends shared a knowing, hurtful look.
“Okay.”
You stated as you slowly got up from your knees. “I understand.”
You turned around, not bidding your friends a farewell before disappearing to your room.
——
The silence of your bedroom had never been so comforting.
Your hands were clutched around a steaming teacup, the warmth of the drink spreading across your veins. You inhaled, breathing in the essence of scattered candles spread across your room.
You mindlessly stared at the pages of a book sprawled out upon your futon, your body pressed against the soft fabric as you sighed.
You couldn’t believe Inosuke didn’t say goodbye.
I mean, you understood the gravity of emergencies and the value of time, but still. Would those extra ten seconds of coming into your room and bidding a farewell really make the difference between life or death?
You groaned, closing the book with a rough thud. You weren’t really reading it anyways.
You leaned into your futon as your gaze drifted from your ceiling to your walls. Your stare remained glued onto a small closet, peering at a drawer that remained slightly opened.
You sat up, your curiosity piqued. You crawled towards the small closet, fully opening the drawer now.
What you saw was a kimono, tucked away neatly beside the plain uniforms you and Aoi wore.
Its vibrant red hue almost seemed to glow amidst the darkness, calling your name.
You gently picked it up, hoisting it upwards a little as you unfolded it.
It was one of your favourites. It was a gift from your Okaasan, as a reward for your hard work and kind-hearted nature. It was decorated with golden streams, adorned with floral patterns. It was heavy, signaling that the fabric used was of splendid quality.
It held so many memories.
You’d worn it during the dance you spent months practicing for, tore it in an attempt to chase Inoko, cried and wept into it after you found out her true self.
The reminder worsened your frown. The heaviness of the fabric made your wrists ache.
Your body started moving on its own.
Your hands swiftly unrobed yourself, detaching your nurse’s uniform from your body as it fell to the ground. You stepped into the red kimono, experienced hands swiftly tying it around yourself.
It was tight. The garment forced you to straighten your spine, the fabric pressing into your skin.
You sighed in relief at the cage your body was in. The discomfort was alluring. Familiar.
You looked into the mirror that resided on your vanity.
The version of you on the other side of the glass brought you solace.
A loud banging on your door interrupted your peace.
You didn’t reply as you merely glanced at the door, brows furrowed in confusion at the aggression of the knock. Even though it was only 11 PM, you figured most slayers had fallen asleep by now.
Not bothering to wait for a reply, the door opened with great force.
Your eyes widened at the familiar sight of a gray pig-head plastered on top of a muscular, lean build. Your lips parted in surprise, dumbfounded by Inosuke’s sudden appearance.
“(__)!!!!”
He yelled a mispronounced version of your name, either uncaring or oblivious of the fact that most slayers had already gone to bed. Both the tone of his voice and his fervent body language radiated joy and impatience, seemingly happy to be reunited with you once again.
Although you did hear Tanjirou mention his mission was relatively nearby, you really hadn’t expected him to return this quick.
Inosuke, caught off guard by both your unusual choice of clothing and rather lackluster reaction, changed. His initial joy and enthusiasm died down, his shoulders relaxing as he peered at your widened eyes.
A silence fell.
“Why are you wearing that?”
Inosuke didn’t sound accusatory, just confused.
You glanced at the fabric around your arms like it was an alien thing.
“I don’t know.” You replied, your voice soft. “I missed it.”
Inosuke fully stepped into your room now, closing the door behind him to grant you two some privacy. He sat himself down onto your floor, a few feet separated from you.
“I thought you said it was uncomfortable.” Inosuke stared, tilting his head as he started at the fabric. With the boar-head covering his expression, he really did look like an animal.
“It is.” You said, paying no mind as to how his confusion seemingly worsened at your replies. “But I missed wearing it.”
You blinked before parting your lips.
“Inosuke, why didn’t you say goodbye to me?” You frowned. “I really don’t like it when you disappear without saying anything.”
He lifted his head, the blue eyes of his mask drilling into you. He groaned something inaudible, as if your question caused him immense discomfort.
-“I was in a hurry…”
“I don’t think saying bye to me takes that long.”
“I was in a big hurry.”
“Were you?”
“I was!!”
You sighed at how defensive he was getting. You adverted your eyes from him, playing with the seams of your kimono.
The silence began to get a little uncomfortable.
Inosuke seemed twitchy.
His body language carried a certain kind of unrest as he rocked himself back and forth, his fingers clumsily playing with themselves.
He suddenly got up from his seat, standing before you.
“I have something to show you.”
Before asking any follow up questions, he darted out of your room, sprinting towards God knows where. Quicker than you’d expected, he returned, stepping into your room with a white paper bag clutched in his hand. He closed the door.
He sat down onto your floor again, this time, taking off his mask.
His body seemed the slightest bit calmer as he put the bag down beside himself, his big green eyes staring into yours.
“It’s a gift.”
You couldn’t fight the faintest hints of a smile from showing on your face.
“Here. Look.”
He grabbed the bag, moving it in front of you. You glanced at Inosuke with great anticipation and curiosity before gingerly grabbing the bag yourself, moving it towards you.
You gasped at the recognition.
“Oh my god.”
That blue fabric. Those floral patterns. That lapis bow.
The exact replica of the blue Kimono you had given Inoko was folded neatly in the paper bag, a treasured memory handled with great care.
Your smile widened.
“Inosuke...” You hushed in delight, feeling your heartstrings being pulled as you gingerly unfolded it. “Where did you even—How??”
“HAHA!!” He boasted, seemingly drinking up every drop of your heartfelt, tender expression. “I’ve been eyeing it for a while now. Us slayers got paid today, so I had to hurry my ass up to get it while it was still there. Luckily for me, the clothing store was close to where I needed to be anyways.”
He puffed his chest out, pride dripping off his features at your dumbfounded expression. “HOW’S THAT FOR A GIFT, HUH!”
“Oh Inosuke…” you whispered. “This is so thoughtful of you…I can’t believe you managed to find this exact one…”
“I’M THE BEST, AREN’T I?”
Quiet gasps and muttered compliments emitted from your side as you caressed the fabric, letting your fingers roam the intricate details.
“Inosuke…” You hushed. “I can’t accept this.”
Within an instant, Inosuke’s pride came crashing down. “What.”
“I mean… you work so hard for your money, you know? You risk your life on the daily…I’d feel bad if you’d spend it on something this expensive…”
He pouted childishly, his eyebrows furrowing. “YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT! I’M GIVING YOU NO CHOICE!”
A sly smile made its way onto your features as you came up with a plan. “Really?”
“YES!!”
“You sure?”
“ABSOLUTELY!”
“Then I want you to wear it.”
He paused at that, his body going entirely stiff as he processed your words. “What.”
“I want you to wear it.” You repeated, gently pushing the fabric towards him, giggling at the way he leaned back.
“But I—” He sputtered. “I bought it for you.”
“Inosuke.” You smiled. “I already gave it to you once, didn’t I? So I will give it to you again.”
That changed something within him. You witnessed him visibly soften at your words, his limbs losing tension as he bathed within the warmth of your expression.
There you went again. Being so kind to him. Messing up his heart.
“I know you hate tight clothes. And fabric in general.” You laughed. “But you looked so beautiful in it...”
You clasped your hands together, giving your beloved friend a pleading look. “Please? I miss my Inoko, Inosuke.”
His eyes darted from you to the pile of fabric in your hands. Melting before you, he surrendered. “….Fine….”
You smiled.
Just like last time, Inosuke had no idea how this thing worked.
You chuckled at his lousy attempts at putting it on, laughing at how much the clothing attire could seriously piss him off.
You gently grasped ahold of his prying wrists, witnessing first-hand how he ceased moving the moment your skin touched his. All signs of distress and restlessness disappeared as you gently picked apart the fabric, carefully draping it around his body.
A gentle, genuine smile rested on your lips as you witnessed Inoko being brought back to life, the nostalgia of the tender memory being relived.
Inosuke hated clothes.
But right now, just like in Yoshiwara, you had helped him with a heart so gentle and kind, it made him forget all about it. His disdain and discomfort ebbed away, making way for his throbbing heart and blood rushing through his veins. He felt his head grow fuzzy in your sheer presence, remnants of thoughts roaming in the back of his mind as he only lived within this very moment.
You looked so happy.
He wished to see it more.
In a way, the blue kimono was a symbol. The very starting point of your relationship.
If it hadn’t been for your persistent kindness and overflowing generosity, perhaps your friendship wouldn’t have blossomed the way it did. Perhaps the two of you would have never become anything past wallflowers, leaving you stranded in Yoshiwara if it weren’t for him.
He was so very grateful for the choices you made.
“Is this okay?” You inquired. “Too tight?”
At his lack of response, you stepped back.
You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but Inosuke acted different around you.
The rowdy, loud boy that was always brimming with enthusiasm and drive just grew still. Inosuke turned eerily quiet as you gently tended to him, his big green eyes widened as he stared you down in utter adoration.
He was so calm around you. Perhaps you hadn’t realized it yet, but he was wrapped around your finger. You managed to bring him a certain kind of peace no one else could, leaving him hypnotized.
You chuckled at his silence. You hoisted your arms upwards, showcasing the length of the fabric. “Look! We match now, Inoko.”
He felt an overwhelming warmth blossom in his chest.
He was overjoyed to see you smile.
“It’s getting warm here.” You sighed, blowing out some candles. “Wanna sit on the engawa for a bit?”
At his stiff nod, you laughed.
——
The chilly night air flowed in the distance. A gentle breeze swayed some flowers, moving trees.
You inhaled, gazing at the familiar sight of the moonlit yard as Inosuke sat inches away. Your head rested on his shoulder as none of you spoke, simply admiring the view.
“(__).” He spoke, pronouncing the rightful syllables of your name. “Can I ask you something?”
It wasn’t like him to ask permission for such simple things. For you, he seemed to make an exception.
“Hmm?”
“Have you been upset about something lately?”
That piqued your interest, making you lift your head.
“Look…I’m sorry about those noodles.” Inosuke admitted, sighing in shame. “I should’t have.”
You merely chuckled in response. “Those stupid noodles.” You huffed. “I had already forgotten about them.”
Your head returned to its previous position, much to his delight.
He stared at your scalp momentarily.
“So it was something else?”
“Huh?”
“You were already upset about something before I ate your food, right?” He guessed. “Something happened. And I made it worse.”
You paused. You lifted your head once more, straightening your spine as you slightly backed up.
You considered telling him. The whole encounter with the enraged Tsuchinoto was still fresh in your mind.
You sighed. Considering how confrontational Inosuke is, you hesitated. Perhaps it was better if he didn’t know.
Still, beneath that piercing gaze of his, your walls crumbled with a sigh.
“I was just upset someone called me a whore.”
Two blinking emerald eyes filled your vision.
“What is that?”
Oh, right. You mentally facepalmed yourself. Someone like Inosuke wouldn’t know what that means. I should’ve seen that one coming.
“Nothing.” You said, using this as your chance to direct the conversation elsewhere.
“What is it?” Inosuke asked again, genuinely curious. His expression turned stern.
You sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to let this go anyways. “It’s a…bad word.”
“Like a swear word?”
“Yeah.” You nodded. “But it’s…different.”
“Different how?
You paused momentarily before answering his question. “Because it’s a special derogatory term made for people like me.”
You saw his eyes widen.
“People like you…?” He muttered, confused.
“Yeah.”
He blinked in bewilderment.
“It’s a special insult towards sex workers. Entertainers. Women of Yoshiwara.” You clarified, pointing towards your chest. “So yeah, people like me.”
His expression faltered, his demeanor making way for hidden rage. You witnessed his eyes darken, his jaws tense.
“That’s low.”
“Yeah.” You chuckled, although no hint of humour reached your eyes.
You had to give him credit for his reaction. Knowing Inosuke, he was bound to fly off the handle. Although you could sense the anger that stirred within him just now, he tried his best to keep himself calm.
This moment wasn’t about him.
A silence fell as you peered at the grass. You could feel his stare rest upon you, eagerly awaiting your next choice of words.
“You know. It wasn’t even the insult itself that irked me.”
You paused.
“Insults I can handle. I grew up with insults. Made them my own.”
Inosuke stayed silent, letting you speak.
“When I was a child, way before Yoshiwara, there wasn’t a single day going by where I wasn’t called every insult to exist.” You professed. “Fat, ugly, useless and ungrateful. I’ve heard all of them a million times. But that’s the funny thing about words. After hearing something for the millionth time, it kind of loses meaning. It just stops affecting you.”
A tree swayed.
“My mom was obsessed with beauty. She blamed me for making her ugly. She’d constantly rub in my face how gorgeous she was before I existed.” You stared at the sky. “When I reached a certain age, we all came to the unanimous conclusion that it was better if I wasn’t there. That’s how I ended up in Yoshiwara in the first place.”
Clouds merged together, forming a void.
“Inosuke…”
Although you tried to suppress it, he heard the tremble of your voice.
“People don’t see us as humans.”
He felt his heart ache.
“We are products there, not people. The owner is free to do with us whatever they please. Girls like me pose in front of glass windows, all lined up next to each other like slabs of meat.”
Your hands toyed with each other.
“Did you truly wish to become an Oiran…?” Inosuke carefully asked, his voice hushed. “Would that have made you happy?”
A venomous chuckle emerged from you. “Girls like me want to be Oirans the same way a deer wants to gnaw its leg off after its been caught in a trap.”
Inosuke blinked, taking in your metaphor.
“No one dreams of any of this. Although being an Oiran is technically the best of the best, people forget that an Oiran’s career is based on sex. Way more compared to regular yuujou’s like me.” You continued. “Everything sucks. Within that place, becoming an Oiran was our only ticket towards a better life.”
Your brows furrowed. “If a better life was even something to be dreamt of.” You added. “Girls like me have short expiry dates, Inosuke. Everyone in that place dies young. Whether it’s from dangerous diseases, failed abortions or plain suicide, everyone there can count their remaining years on two hands.”
You paused, feeling your breathing grow unsteady as you stared at the grass. “We aren’t dolls. Sometimes I feel like the people walking by completely forget we exist, even though we are right there in front of them. No one stops to consider that every girl behind the glass panel is someone with ambitions and hopes and dreams.”
You clutched your chest.
“But I escaped that fate...” You hushed. “I lived. Longer than anyone else.”
You dug your nails into your palms.
“And even now, that place still haunts me…” You choked out. “Despite everything, I am still seen as a—”
“Don’t say it.”
Inosuke’s hand reached your shoulder. His brows furrowed as he stared you down. “Don’t you dare.”
He stayed quiet for a bit, letting the silence carry its weight.
“You know…” You babbled. “Me and Zenitsu talked the other day. About this very topic as well.”
You watched his eyes squint a little.
“He told me that I’m surrounded by people ashamed of their past. That it’s a shared feeling.” You continued. “I know he said it with the best intentions, but it got me thinking. In fact, I’ve never been embarrassed of me being a courtesan. Why would I be, when I was surrounded by them for practically my whole life?”
You paused. “It’s normal there, you know. It’s a gigantic space made for people that are just…trapped. They don’t have family to rely on after being sold off. Their very lives are limited to the borders of Yoshiwara.”
A squirrel climbed up a tree.
“The whole system is a scam. Girls like me work as hard as they can to pay off their debts, but even if that impossible goal would be reached, then what?” You asked, glancing at the stars. “What kind of future awaits us beyond Yoshiwara? What else is there?”
Your feet swayed in unrest.
“Return to the family that sold you off to begin with? Hope and pray a man pities you enough to take you in? Fuck that.” You spat.
You sighed, realizing you were drifting away from the initial subject. Not that Inosuke seemed to mind.
“It was when I came here that I started to shun my past. Until I heard that comment…” You continued, your voice the slightest bit calmer now. “Because even after making my escape, I’m still trapped…”
You fell quiet, your overlapping thoughts making you forget what trail you were on. You sighed, rubbing your temples.
“You know.” Inosuke muttered, piercing the silence.
“That shame you speak of. I know how it feels.”
Your eyebrows rose in confusion. You never expected someone with an inflated ego like him to admit something like this. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
Inosuke’s voice was soft, its tone gentle and sincere. You realized very well how lucky you were to be witness of such a rarity.
“A couple months ago, me and Tanjirou and Zenitsu were sent on a mission with the flame hashira. There was a demon on a train we needed to kill.”
You stayed quiet. He had told you bits and pieces about this story before, but never the full thing.
“We did it. We killed him. But right after, an upper rank appeared. And he killed Rengoku.”
Your face furrowed into a frown as you saw grief take hold of Inosuke.
“Me and Tanjirou couldn’t even do anything. We stood there by the sidelines. Waiting. Watching him get killed.”
His teeth gritted, making him grunt in frustration as he balled his fists.
“We were too weak. Too weak to do anything to help him. Too weak to save him.”
It was your turn to listen now.
“The shame we felt when the three of us could witness the next sunrise, unlike him…”
You almost gasped in disbelief when you heard Inosuke’s voice tremble.
Perhaps, past his inflated ego and rowdy demeanor, there was still the ongoing process of grief hidden underneath.
“He died right in front of us. We all witnessed his parting breath.”
He blinked.
“We were all devastated. Especially Tanjirou.”
He dug his nails into his palm. “But at that moment, I said something to them. That there is no point in sniveling and dwelling on useless thoughts.”
He lifted his head a little.
“Crying won’t bring him back. Screaming and sobbing will not erase the mistakes we made. No matter how humiliated or pathetic we felt, we had no choice but to keep on living.”
He looked at you now.
“Whether you are reduced to a mindless doll made for consumption or are washed in shame by the lives that slipped through your fingers…in the end, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the present. It’s the choices you made and the person you are that defines you. Not your past. Not the environment you grew up in. You have to live with your head held high, no matter the circumstances. I think that’s what it means to live a noble life.”
His warm, calloused hand moved to grasp yours, capturing your attention.
“Yuujou or no yuujou, Oiran or no Oiran, I don’t give a shit about any of that. I care for that girl that always helped me with a smile, who was always there for me when I needed it. I see you for you, the girl who risked her life by refusing to evacuate and to look for me instead. That’s what matters. That’s the person I love and cherish. And for as long as I’m alive, I will continue to do so.”
You felt your eyes water. Your lips trembled as the warmth of his hand enveloped you whole.
“I knew you were bound to miss that place eventually. I know that change is scary, even if it’s for the best.” He continued. “Instead of bringing you to that place, I wanted to bring a bit of it to you. As a reminder of your roots and how far you’ve come.”
The warmth in your chest reached its peak.
“You know what.” He uttered, caressing the skin of your hand. “After Muzan is defeated and demons no longer exist, let’s go back and make the memories we never got to make. You can take me to eat the candy apples you always told me about, or the stalls of shaved ice or Takoyaki. It doesn’t matter where we go. Let’s be happy together.”
You didn’t know what it was. Perhaps it was the setting of the moonlit estate or the enchanting sight of Inosuke in traditional clothes or any of the things he said to you so far. Your vision blurred as moisture clouded your eyes, making you sob a little as tears trailed down.
“Inosuke...” You babbled, looking at him through damp lashes. “Can I ask one last question?”
He gently wrapped his hand around your waist, grounding you. Letting you know that he was there.
“Do you think I’m pretty?”
He held you closer, wrapping his arms around you in a tender embrace.
“The prettiest girl in the world.”
