#kosmina

[randomshenaniganery]

Lothaire feeds his Kennel of newborns

Kosmina is the black haired girl

Elizabeth is screaming

[selective-management]

Iza Bielawska for CMYK Kosmima

[ancelottery]

The Expendables

Upon discovering six days ago that John Kosmina was definitely leaving SAdelaide United because he “got spooked”, board director Bruno Marveggio frantically leapt into action - by sitting down for a lavish lunchtime feast. After the third round of sautéed goose fat & chicken liver canapés, Marveggio wiped his mouth and announced “the assembly of an independent all-star cast.” A crack team of individuals who won’t face Manchester United, or go anywhere near the Hindmarsh playing surface, but rather will investigate the possibility of choosing an elect nonpartisan sub-committee that might be able to concoct a report outlining how the grievances that led to Kossie’s departure might be avoided in the future. Then, right after they’ve finished the sixth round of hors d’œuvre’s and the mariachi band has finished their encore, they may well go through the process of identifying three to five coaching candidates who fit the “club’s philosophy”. Whatever that is.

“We need our new coach to do many things,” Marveggio insisted. “The training methods for the seniors and youth teams must be better. The philosophy also requires a distinctive playing style which we would like to follow. It’s about total football, the modern game, tiki-taka football,” he buzz-worded.

So who’s in this elite band of roguish football-savvy mercenaries all set for one final mission?

Former Liverpool head of fitness and conditioning Darren Burgess has donned his camouflage & face paint and signed up for the cause, as has Wikipedia-friendlyformer Adelaide City player John Perin. An “unnamed SA candidate” is being chased despite claiming to be, “too old for this sh*t”. And fresh from disappointing the children of Kogarah, SBS World Game cheerleader Craig Foster will make some self-aggrandising comments before picking a Spanish guy’s name out of a hat.

Given the fact it’s taken them 6 days to get to this stage, expect the decision to appoint a new coach to be more laboured and drawn out than our mercenary analogy.

Meanwhile philosopher and stand-in coach Michael Valkanis posed some new Carthesian conundrums ahead of Melbourne Victory’s visit on Friday. ”Is the game of football aerobic or explosive?” he asked to a group of gathered academics, before leaving them with the ultimate mystery, “We can go on running at 12km/h all day. (But) Is that football?”

Well is it?

[maccaoz18]

Whatever Kosmina has done to the boys

It's fuckin working!