Dec 21, 2025
LonelyEyeTrauma or something? Merry Christmas to everyone who is reading and for those who don't here give it a try I am sometimes funny.
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LonelyEyeTrauma or something? Merry Christmas to everyone who is reading and for those who don't here give it a try I am sometimes funny.
big fan of this snippet from the cg musical 2 trailer hehe
Welcome to the Jonelias/Lonelyeyes series (I will come up with a proper title soon alright)
(there might be a little bit of Jonmartin ahead - specifically with Lonely Martin)
Part 1
They are coming.
Elias sighed massaging his temples.
They are coming.
Ambiguous. Cryptic. Random. That is how Elias would describe knowledge that was recently forced into his brain by the Eye. He needed a break, but Beholding did not offer breaks.
They are
“Coming I know.” He hissed exhausted. “Something useful?” He closed the door to his apartment, throwing his coat on the armchair.
The Archivist.
They are coming.
Elias dropped his keys and froze in place, he closed his eyes looking for Jon in panic. No, he should be in a coma. He should be sleeping and if he was awake Elias should have known about it immediately. A sharp pang of pain rushed through his skull forcing him to open his eyes. He blinked confused. He couldn't see him, he was… denied knowledge? He took a deep breath steadying himself by leaning on the armchair.
The Archivist. They are coming. They need to know. They will know.
Elias tried again and winced, feeling the gaze of his patron on himself. He took a deep breath. He couldn’t see Jon but he was coming and he needed to know. Elias swore, his legs suddenly significantly weaker. He wanted to close his eyes and met resistance.
You will answer. You will watch.
Elias should have foreseen that it will come to this. He should have been prepared. Left quicker, maybe spent some time on Tundra, annoying Peter. Lock himself up in prison or at least somewhere where Jon wouldn't be able to find him. But it was too late for that. Much too late. Jon was on his way and there was no point in running, he would find him anywhere.
Elias slowly unlocked the door.
His hand shook and he leaned on the wall. He still could try running.
No. They will catch you. The eye supplied. They are hungry.
Elias stumbled to the couch and sat up straight, placing his hands on his knees. He wanted to close his eyes again but Beholding stopped him sending a stinging pain through his skull. He must see. He must watch. He must answer.
Elias took a deep breath clenching his fists, nails digging into his palms. He breathed out trying to compose himself, but his heart only sped up, hammering in his chest, he bit his lip.
"Please." He whispered but kept his eyes open. He felt the presence of his patron so closely as he never felt before and it was as thrilling as terrifying. "Don't let him in."
You unlocked the door.
Elias heard Jon before he saw him. And when he saw him he knew he was doomed. He forced himself to stay on the couch while the Archivist approached. Elias pressed himself into the couch. He felt exposed, he laughed quietly. How wonderful, Jon was truly a sight to behold now. His Archivist. Elias sighed when Jon approached him, his shoulders shook violently. Jon grabbed his jaw forcing him to look him in the eyes. Elias drew a sharp breath grabbing a pillow from the couch. Just to hold on to something, to not get completely lost in Jon’s eyes.
"Elias,” Jon whispered. “Are you scared?" The compulsion pulled at his mind and Elias whimpered helplessly.
"Yes." he breathed out. The Archivist tilted their head. Their eyes not leaving Elias' face even for a second.
"Perfect." They let go off his jaw and dragged a chair placing it in front of Elias. "Sit straight." They ordered.
Elias found himself sitting up, his limbs arranged properly, his back straight and his chin up forcing him to look at Jon. "You will answer my questions."
"I will." Elias whispered. It was said with as much resignation as devotion. He knew there was no point in resisting, no point in pretending he could run or try to deny Jon knowledge that the Archivist wanted. Everything Elias knew was Jon's to take.
"Statement of Jonah Magnus." Elias shivered "Regarding his time as an Eye avatar. Statement taken directly from the subject" Jon spoke.
"Statement begins." Elias mouthed before the compulsion pulled at his mind. It pulled and pulled, until nothing was left hidden, until nothing was left unspoken. All his secrets laid out, neat and sorted, everything said outloud and catalogued by his Archivist. When the compulsion snapped Elias realized his face was wet. Was he crying? He shuddered and looked around. Not recognizing his own flat. He sobbed quietly and smiled.
“Oh Archivist.” Elias whispered, he felt... He sniffed, whipping off his cheeks. Hollow was not really the right word to describe it. He felt far from hollow.
"How do you feel?" Jon needed to know. Elias chuckled, not really amused.
"I- Hm..." Elias stopped looking for the right words.
"How do you feel, Elias?" Jon compelled him. Elias sighed, falling back on the net of compulsion, letting it work.
"Seen. So wonderfully seen." He whispered and laughed, rubbing his face with the back of his hand "Thank you Jon." Admiration in his eyes made Jon pull back. "Thank you." he mumbled.
His hands still shaking, he stood up slowly, supporting himself on furniture as he went to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. Jon followed. Elias leaned on the counter drinking water. Jon stood in the middle of the kitchen looking at him.
Elias still felt him inside his head, sorting out information, looking through him like through a book, he shivered and chugged a whole glass of water.
"It's Peter Lukas' flat." The Archivist stated.
Elias shook his head.
"No. He bought it, but it's mine" His voice was still hoarse, he must have talked for hours.
Eye informed Jon that Elias believes in what he said. Elias snorted, apparently Beholding gave him the same information. He opened another cabinet and pulled out a bottle of wine.
"I am going to the bedroom." He said even though he didn’t have to, Jon would know anyway. Jon followed him. When Elias laid down Jon sat down next to him, his eyes never leaving Elias. Elias laid back drinking wine straight from the bottle, ignoring Jon.
Jon fully regained consciousness somewhere at one am. He stood up abruptly looking at sleeping Elias and an empty bottle of wine on the bed. His head filled with knowledge he didn't have before. His eyes strained and head was pounding with pain. He started fidgeting with the hem of his shirt looking at the men he... He...
Jon breathed out, he wanted to run at the first instinct but then the eye stopped him. Telling him Elias was alright. Telling him that deep down Jonah Magnus wanted to be seen and known. And that he likes cakes. Jon blinked.
"Hell. I don't know how to bake" he muttered and immediately his head was filled with recipes.
He sighed, well he won't be able to sleep anyway.
Part 2
Kings of the ruined world
Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5| Part 6
“Where's…. Where's Elias?” Jon entered the kitchen looking at Peter who was preparing breakfast.
“Aren't you omniscient?”
“I am trying to not know things around you. It's a courtesy Peter. Don't be difficult.”
Peter sighed and turned around giving him a plate with food.
“In the bed. Bring him breakfast.”
“Is he alright? He is usually up before 8.”
“He is all right.” Peter handed him a cup of coffee. “Off you go archivist. I want to eat alone.” Jon rolled his eyes but left the kitchen. When he entered Elias’ room Elias just left the bathroom. Jon froze staring at him.
“Very nice er… robe. I… Peter. I mean Peter told me to bring you breakfast.”
“Thank you.” Elias smiled, getting back on the bed and taking a plate from Jon. Jon sat down next to him.
“You overslept?” Jon put coffee on the cupboard.
“No. I was awake since 7 but didn't feel particularly motivated to get out of bed.” Elias smiled amused.
“Oh. Did you feel bad?”
Elias raised his eyebrow looking at Jon and chuckled.
“No. I feel good, Jon. I spent a really nice evening with my husband yesterday. We went to sleep late.” Elias glanced at Jon.
“What did you do?” Jon asked. “I know what Peter's definition of a nice evening is. Ship documentary. But it's surely not yours.”
“I am not sure you want to hear about the details, Jon.” Elias smiled amused.
“Why? Oh.” He cleared his throat. “Right. It took me embarrassingly long.”
“Don't worry. I am used to it. Peter needs to have everything spelled out for him.”
“Yeah um… should I go or…?”
“If that's what you want. But you can also stay and have breakfast with me… I would like that.”
“Isn't it.. weird? I mean your husband is downstairs and you two were…and…”
“Peter won’t be coming back.”
Jon snorted.
“He is of the Lonely Jon.”
“Doesn’t mean he has to be an asshole.”
“He will probably isolate himself for the rest of the day and I would appreciate company so… I think the only question that matters is: Do you want to stay?”
Jon nodded slowly.
“Yeah…”
Elias smiled.
“Good.” He said and started eating. Jon sighed not really knowing what to do with his hands. Finally he decided to sit closer to Elias and watche him eat. He didn't seem to mind. When the plate was almost empty Elias placed it on the cupboard and took his coffee. He leaned on Jon and smiled when Jon slipped his arm under his back. “Did you sleep well?”
Jon sighed.
“I am not sure what that means anymore. I slept.” He glanced at Elias and frowned looking at his wrists. Jon carefully grabbed one of his hands to look closer. There were red burns around his wrists.
“It's nothing Jon. It's from the… “
“Rope.” Jon finished letting him go. “ I know. It shouldn't look as red. Do you have a first aid-kit?”
Elias smiled amused.
“In the bathroom.” Jon stood up and left the room to grab it. He carefully disinfected burns on Elias’ wrists and dressed one of them that was looking worse. “Am I going to be okay, doctor Sims?”
Jon snorted.
“There is no need to mock me, Elias”
“I am not mocking you. Thank you, Jon.”
Jon nodded slowly and sat down on the bed next to him.
“Sleep some more and you should be fine. It's a doctor's order.” Elias smiled amused and laid down.
“If you say so. Jon…”
“Hm?”
“Can I kiss you?”
Jon blinked, taken by surprise he nodded slowly. Elias pressed his lips to his, Jon smiled.
“Get some sleep, Elias.” he whispered into his lips. Elias blinked.
“Oh that's… “ his head was suddenly too heavy to keep it up and his eyelids closed by themselves he fell asleep in Jon’s arms. Jon was looking at him in shock, he swallowed and slowly put Elias down on the bed. He took a deep breath. Well at least Elias will rest. Jon left, closing the door quietly.
A few hours later Jon stormed into the kitchen and threw green silk rope at Peter. Lukas blink confused.
“Ship yard rope is not an appropriate rope to tie someone Peter. Unless you want to kidnap them.”
“I am sorry. What?”
“Did you even see his wrists? That's unacceptable.”
“Who's… oh… Elias. Well he doesn't care so…”
“Oh but I care.”
“He likes the rope. He doesn't mind it.”
“He will surely mind infected burns when he gets them from that thing. You can't just grab whatever rope is laying around the deck, Peter.”
“I am not discussing my sex life with you.”
“Oh we are not discussing anything, Peter. You are doing it in a safe way or at all.”
Pete snorted.
“Fine by me. Who tells Elias?”
“Wait. What?” Jon blinked.
“I indulge him because he enjoys it. It's not something I can't live without.”
“Oh. Oh wait really? So you are… you don't like it?”
“It's enjoyable. But nothing special. And definitely too much work for the mediocre outcome but Elias likes it.”
“Huh… right. Like a chore right?” Jon offered with a half hopeful smile.
“God yes.” Peter huffed. “This man is already too much work.”
Jon frowned.
“Does he know that you…”
“Of course. I am not an idiot, Sims.” He rolled his eyes “ Fine. Give me that.” He grabbed the rope. “And stop tormenting me. Go look for yourself in another room.”
“Sure.” Jon smiled. Somehow he couldn't stop smiling. “Oh wait…is Elias still asleep?”
“Yes. That's odd.”
“I.. sort of compelled him to sleep…”
Peter stared at him in silence and then he looked at the rope.
“Where did you get this?”
“Um…” Jon blink “There is a shop that sells this sort of stuff nearby. Twenty minutes… why?”
Peter hummed.
“Do they sell muzzles? Or what are they called? Ah. Gags maybe? I am interested in buying one.” He said looking at Jon pointedly. “Or both. Just a precaution.”
“I will wake him up.” Jon said alarmed and quickly turned around to leave the room.
“You better!”
(I hope you don't mind the lack of actual plot, as this contains like 98% of just shenanigans and fun.)
Next part: Part 7
Kings of the ruined world
Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7 | Part 8 |Part 9| Part 10
Dirt. Dirt in his mouth, dirt under his nails, dirt in his eyes. Pressing him down, filling his lungs slowly, without rush. Jon wanted to scream, but only more dirt entered his mouth. He tried to move, but the pressure was too heavy. Breathing was a challenge, but somehow Jon knew he was not going to die, no. He will stay here. Forever. In the dirt. Unable to move. Blind until the end of the world.
Elias rushed through the archives office door.
“Where's Jon?”
“Following up on a statement. He said something about the cemetery?”
“Which one?”
“I don't know. You are the know-all here.”
He cursed and walked out, putting on his jacket. He found Jon in the fifth cemetery at the outskirts of the city. The fresh grave right in the middle. Elias knew getting him out of there would require hours of digging, and he was not looking forward to it. Indulging the Buried, he grimaced.
“Jon!”
The only answer he got was silence, until sharp pain flashed behind his eyes and he saw black grainy dirt and felt a dull rush of panic. He quickly looked around and grabbed a shovel. There was no other choice than to dig. And dig. And dig. And dig.
Elias sat on the edge of the hole, catching a breath. His ears were ringing from exhaustion. His suit was utterly ruined. He was clutching the shovel, staring into nothing. Suddenly someone ripped the shovel out of his hands and resumed digging. Elias blinked, and the fog started pooling around him.
“Peter?” He squinted, but no. It wasn't Peter. ”Martin.” Elias realized, he slowly slid down into the hole to stand next to Martin. Martin didn't answer. “Martin. Fancy seeing you here.”
“How deep?”
“What?”
“How deep is he?”
“At least two meters more.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
“You took the shovel…”
“Too proud to get your hands dirty?” It was the last thing Elias heard from Martin. He started digging in silence, and Elias stood there looking at him in disbelief. He looked down at the ground, swallowed, and started to dig with his hands. Beholding laughed in his head. He didn't realize when Martin disappeared, but it didn't matter because he could see Jon's hand. He slowly dug him out fully and helped him sit up. Jon spat out dirt. He was trembling.
“E...Elias?” Elias sighed in relief and pulled him to his chest, hugging him. He glanced at his hands, ruined and bloody, with broken nails and dirt everywhere. He slowly wiped off some dirt from Jon’s cheek. Jon was still clearly out of it. Lost in himself. Eyes wide open and terrified.
Elias took him home and, against his better judgment, left him under Peter's care, he changed and got back to the Institute. Leaving archival assistants alone there was not a great idea and Elias didn't want to risk another reorganization.
When he went back into the house in the evening; he sighed, looking at the table. There was a half-glued model of a ship there and hundreds of parts around it. Peter was sorting them, and Jon was occupied by gluing something. He was sitting on the floor covered by two heavy blankets. He was pale and quiet but calm.
“I knew leaving you two together would be a bad idea.” Elias said.
“This is SS Great Eastern. It's one of the largest steamships. Powered by a sidewheel and screw propeller. It was able to carry around 4000 passengers from England to Australia without a need to refuel. Five funnels, six masts, and four steam engines. It laid the first transatlantic telegraph cable and was able to pick up a speed of up to 14 knots, which is around twenty-six kilometers per hour. “ The Archivist recited.
Peter chuckled, amused, seeing Elias’ face.
“Seriously, Jon? Ships?”
“I was bored.” Jon shrugged. Bored and so so tired. He needed to take his mind off the dirt, off cementaries, graves and sink holes. He needed something to distract himself from this overpowering need to crawl into earth in the garden. He needed something to stop him from digging.
“You infected him,” Elias hissed, looking at Peter.
“He came over and suddenly knew everything about model kits and ships.” Peter shrugged. “I was not happy about it. I prefer to work alone.” He glared at Jon.
“That may be true, but you were content when I managed to glue the mast that you failed to glue five times in a row.”
“I didn't say you are useless.”
“Ah. Thank you, Peter. Anytime.”
Lukas snorted, and Elias shook his head in resignation.
“What's for dinner?”
“Whatever you will make, dear.” Peter hummed. Elias rolled his eyes. Of course.
“I am ordering from Ritz!” He huffed. Jon frowned.
“They do not offer deliveries…”
Peter sighed resignedly.
“It has never stopped him before.”
Jon nodded and got back to gluing ship parts. It was oddly calming. Soon he heard Elias’ voice from the kitchen.
“Oh, I promise you are offering deliveries. What's your name? Ah, Matt. I am Elias. Elias Bouchard. Do I have to remind you what happened to your younger brother on March 15th? Oh, I just know. Do you want to know what happened after that…? Can you still hear his screams? Do you ever wonder how he felt at that moment? It must be hard to live with the look on his face imprinted into your mind. Do you hear him begging you for help, asking why? Was it worth it, Matt? Was your pathetic, useless, empty life worth sacrificing the only person that has ever truly loved you? ... Ah. What about my dinner? Shall I continue? Hm. I thought so. You know the address; I will pay by card. Do not forget wine.” Elias yawned, ending the call. “They will never learn. I will take a shower. Jon, pick the food, will you? Peter will give you his card.” He left them. Jon was looking after him and then glanced at Peter, whose only response was placing his card on the table.
“Did you ever say 'no' to him?”
“What do you think, Sims? Would I be sitting on a floor assembling a ship model kit? Would I call this place our flat, or would I wear a ring with an eye symbol if I had ever said no?”
“But why?” Peter glanced at him above the ship model and shrugged. “And… and how? He told me about Lukas’. Didn't one of you literally die when he got married?”
Peter nodded.
“Heart conditions run in the family. I am tired of your questions.” Jon blinked, and Peter vanished.
When Elias returned to the saloon. The food was on the table with a bottle of wine. Jon was sitting on the armchair.
“I… I… I couldn't… “
Elias opened the ajar door. Behind them the delivery man was sitting on the ground crying hysterically. Elias glanced around.
“Peter, dear? Care for a…” He turned around and bumped into Peter, who was materializing behind him.
“Snack? Always.” Lukas smiled. Elias kissed him amused and left the man with his husband. Soon he will stop being a problem.
“Jon. Did you enjoy yourself?”
“I am sorry. I…”
“Jon. I don't care about that man. I sincerely hope you had a fulfilling meal.”
Jon blinked, looking at him. Tears began falling down his face, and Jon started laughing.
“Oh dear.” Elias poured himself some wine. Peter appeared next to him.
“Your Archivist went mad?”
“He is just overwhelmed. Be useful for once.”
Peter rolled his eyes but nodded after a minute. Suddenly fog filled the room. Jon shivered but calmed down a bit, his head was… quiet. And reality seemed somehow blurry. He slowly inhaled the fog, looking around. He never felt so calm, no not calm, apathetic. But it was so silent, so incredibly silent. Suddenly everything was back to normal, fog fell down.
“What… What was that?” His mind still didn't get back to normal. It was odd. To not know.
“Our powers cancel themselves.” Elias said. ” If we are… not fighting against each other, they will do no harm. But the fog has… quite the calming effect for some people.”
“Yeah…” Jon nodded. “That… makes sense. Um… Thank you, I guess.” He glanced at Peter. He took a deep breath.
“Let’s eat.” Elias sat down.
Peter picked up his box and went upstairs without a word. “Don't make a mess!”
“It's my flat! I will do whatever I want!”
Elias chuckled and picked his box. Jon looked at his food.
“Something’s wrong? I am sure you will like it, Jon.”
“I would… it's just…”
“Yes?”
“Everything tastes bland since I woke up… from the coma, I mean.” He cleared his throat. “I… I don't think eating food serves any purpose for me anymore. I don't feel particularly hungry in an… normal way.”
Elias nodded, grabbing his glass. Jon stared at Elias' hands. Still very much ruined, bandaged with medical tape.
“Thank you.” He said quietly. “I should have warned you that I am going out.”
“You are an adult, Jon. You don't need to report to me… but I would appreciate a heads-up.”
“I -I am marked. Right? I… I can feel it. There is something wrong. I… wanted to get back there. Underground. “ He pulled the blanket. around himself. Elias sighed, stood up and approached the cabinet, and he took something out of it. It looked like a warm blanket, but when Elias placed it on Jon’s lap, he felt the weight of it and almost gasped. He quickly covered himself with the weighted blanket. He glanced curiously at Elias, but he didn't offer an explanation and just started eating his dinner.
“A weighted blanket.” Jon said.
“Indeed.” Elias smiled, still not answering the unasked question. Jon fell silent, but he couldn't contain himself.
“Why?”
“Why, what, Jon?”
The archivist huffed, annoyed.
“Why do you have a weighted blanket?”
Elias was silent for a long minute.
“I enjoy it sometimes.”
Elias was avoiding his question. The Archivist sneered displeased. Elias sighed, taking another sip of wine.
“It helped with the confusion after swapping a body.” He offered. Jon tilted his head; it was the truth but not the whole truth. Jon was breathing slowly, staring at eating Elias. He tried not to push, but it was screaming in him, it was almost physically painful not to push. Elias observed him with fascination, and before Jon could ask another question laced with compulsion, he answered.
“It makes me feel less… lonely. When Peter is not around.”
Jon huffed and grabbed his take out box, furiously, just to hold something. The unasked question hung between them but the answer was already given. The Archivist bit his cheek frustrated glaring at Elias annoyed. Elias chuckled.
“That was rude, Elias. Rude,” Jon sighed, opening the box and staring at the food. The blanket was nice. The weight on his shoulder felt calming and satisfied the buried screaming in him. "Was... Martin there?" He asked. "I... I think I felt him but..."
"He was. He helped with digging you out."
"Was he..." Jon sighed "Lonely?"
Elias nodded slowly.
"Very much so. I am sorry Jon."
"Oh you are not. You couldn't care less about him. You would probably rather see him dead."
Elias snorted amused.
"It's mutual." He took a sip of his wine. "Don't feel guilty about it, Archivist. He chose it for himself, you know that."
Jon did. But he couldn't stop blaming himself, deep down he knew it was his fault. That he was the last push Martin needed, maybe if not him, if not his becoming, Martin wouldn't end up in the fog. And was it really a choice? Was Jon ever had a choice or was he chosen. He glared at Elias.
“Why did you chose me, Elias?”
“I didn't." Elias didn't bother resisting. "The Web did. And I played along. But spiders always weave. You can't stop it.”
“I am not a puppet.” Jon snarled, and he grimaced because it was not entirely true, and the Eye informed him about it. He sighed, “I... don't want to be. I won't be a puppet.”
Elias watched him for a moment and sighed, pouring himself more wine. He poured another glass and passed it to Jon.
“And I won't die.” He raised his glass, smiling at Jon. Jon clinked the glasses, and they drank.
For wishful thinking and lies that we tell ourselves when it's too dark for hope.
Next part: part 11
Kings of the ruined world
Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7 | Part 8 |Part 9| Part 10 |Part 11 |Part 12| Part 13| Part 14| Part 15 |Part 16
(I think we have around two or three parts left)
When Jon woke up, he found Elias on the balcony. He was smoking and Jon felt something was off. Something was different. He stood up and went out.
“Elias?... Where's Peter?”
“Gone of course.” Elias said quietly. “Should have foreseen that really. I always miss it.” He snorted and shook his head.
Gone.
Jon felt fog curling in his chest.
Kings of the ruined world
Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7 | Part 8 |Part 9| Part 10 |Part 11 |Part 12| Part 13
(Here, have some ✨jmart✨ kind of)
“Martin! Martin!” Jon looked around trying to see through the fog “Please come out. I want to talk. Martin!”
“Jon.” Jon jumped and turned around. “Sorry.”
Jon huffed but laughed quietly.
“You... you scared me. Ah… I… “
“I am sorry. For the… you know. I just… I wanted to…”
“Protect me. I know.”
“Sorry. But honestly Jon. Elias?” Jon chuckled “Oh don't you dare. Don't laugh, you know what sort of person he is! And you… what are you even?”
“Oh, nothing we are not… I am not dating him or nothing.”
“Yeah, clearly you are past that point.”
“What? No no… Martin, listen I am not in… a relationship with Elias. He has a husband.”
“Jon, that actually made it worse.”
“Peter. He is married to Peter Lukas.”
“Ah. Nevermind, then. Sorry Jon but he was two minutes from fucking you against that desk. And you looked like you would let him. What else was I supposed to think? What? You now hook up with evil bastards?”
“It wouldn't happen.”
“What if he would want it to happen?”
“He would back off. I am stronger than him. If not willingly then I would make him. He didn't want to harm me and I… “he fell silent “I actually don't have to explain myself to you.”
Martin snorted and sat down next to Jon on the bench.
“I missed you.” Jon said quietly, glancing at Martin. Martin stayed quiet but his lips quirked a little as if he was trying not to smile. That look of cruel satisfaction, Jon saw it before on Peter when he was feeding off Elias. He huffed. “We changed.” He somehow couldn't stop smiling. Martin snorted.
“That we did. You didn't miss me Jon. You missed some… naive unreal version of me.”
“That's true.” Jon sighed, rubbing his face. “I am sorry Martin. It's my fault.”
“Maybe not. Maybe it was always meant to be. You only made it smoother.” Martin offered with a smile. “So you and Elias.”
“I live with them.”
“Ah. You and Elias and Peter.”
Jon snorted.
“Please stop. I just live with them.”
“Riiight. And Elias was on his knees because he just dropped his keys, he totally wasn't about to…”
“Martin, are you jealous?”
“What? No. No, I am not jealous.” Martin snorted, “That's absurd Jon.”
Jon chuckled.
“You are jealous.”
“I am not!”
“Riight.” Jon grinned.
“Ah fuck it. Alright, yes. Yes, I am jealous! And it's not funny Jon! This man did nothing but harm to you! He was vile and…and evil! And now what, he gets to play house with you?” Martin snorted “I would lay my life for you Jon! I would do everything! Everything! And all I got in exchange was disdain and dismissal! I cared. I truly cared! And then when… when I got a spark of hope that you actually might care at least half as much as I did you… die.” Martin laughed and wiped his face. “I was in that hospital every day. Like a fool. Changing flowers, talking to you, worrying. I was there, Jon. Until I gave up.” He whispered. “I went into the fog. I can say that it’s because of Peter but… it wouldn't be true. I chose it. I chose it because it hurts less than standing by your side. “He looked at the floor “Maybe it makes me weak. But you know what? I don't regret it. You are not the person I fell in love with. Actually, you never were. I… imagined you… the version of you. The kind, empathetic Jon just as scared as me, someone I could lean on, someone that cares. It never existed… You never existed.” He fell silent “So yes, I am jealous, but there is nothing to be jealous about.”
“I know.”
“What?”
“I... I know you were there.” Jon whispered. “And I should look for you, the first thing when I woke up should be looking for you. But I was… I was so hungry. I was so fed up with things being hidden before me. So I went to the only person that had answers.” Martin snorted “It was the right decision. I would have killed you, Martin. I would have ripped every piece of knowledge from you. You would have die.”
“Elias is alive.”
“He is of the Beholding, he wasn't allowed to die. I… “Jon took a deep breath “I went there and asked and asked and asked until there was nothing more to ask about until his voice was so hoarse that I could barely understand it. And... and every word was forced, every single one of them was forced out of him, by the compulsion. By… by me. He didn't want to talk, I made him. I made him. “Jon laughed hysterically “I couldn't help myself.” He whispered “and I would do it again. So, I am glad I wasn't looking for you. Because before I would realize what I was doing you would be dead.” He whispered. Martin looked at him in silence.
“You were right. We changed”
Jon sighed.
“I don't want to be your enemy.”
“Oh, we are not, Jon. We are nothing to each other.”
Jon flinched.
“You can't be serious.”
“I am.”
“Martin.”
“Maybe we were something once. Hell, maybe we even had some sort of future, or at least more time. But now?” He shook his head “I am not going to bother you anymore, Jon. The fog is all I need and… and maybe it’s better like that.”
“You can’t really believe in that, Martin.”
“Oh, I do. I do believe in that. I am sorry, for what is worth I really thought that it could work out. You know what's pissing me off the most? " He snorted" That from all the people it was Peter Lukas who was right. I should go. Take care of yourself, Jon. I don’t think we will be seeing each other very often.”
Before Jon could answer Martin simply vanished with the fog. The walk home was by far the worst thing that happened to Jon recently, the fog clinging to him making him unbearably cold. He might accidentally enter the Lonely again, but he wasn’t sure, his vision was blurry with tears. He entered the living room followed by the fog and slowly sat down, wiping off his cheeks. The room looked odd, as if no one lived here for a long time. The furniture was covered with a faint layer of dust and the house felt terribly empty. Jon breathed out slowly and cursed under his breath it was not Elias’ home. It looked like it, perfect copy covered in fog and dust.
“Well, it looks like you are in trouble, Archivist.”
Jon laughed, rubbing his face.
“Let me out?” he asked quietly and Peter laughed and sat down next to him with a bowl of cereal.
“At least you know when it is time to beg. Elias never seemed to catch that.”
“Peter, I don’t know why I am here, just…”
“You don’t?” Peter mused. “I think you do know that quite well, Archivist, and well something tells me that you don’t want to get out. Not really.”
Jon rubbed his eyes trying not to break down in tears, he slowly took a deep breath. He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking, remembering, feeling. He looked at Peter again with all the power his broken heart could stand. Peter grimaced annoyed and Jon slowly breathed out.
“Let me out. I want to get out. I have reasons to live, and I am not alone and I am not scared of it either. You will let me out.” The Archivist hissed and Peter vanished.
Jon shivered when the fog slowly let him out, he sniffed and looked at Elias who stood next to him.
“Jon?”
Jon leaned on him, placing his head on Elias’ stomach and took a slow breath.
“Jonah.” he whispered.
“Are you alright?”
Jon shook his head.
“Too much fog.”
Elias slowly crouched down to look into Jon's eyes.
“I spoke to Martin.”
Elias nodded.
“I know, I was watching. I am sorry, Jon. I truly am. Not because Martin left you, I am not going to lie, it's pointless you would know, but because you have to go through this.” He touched his cheek “If I can give you any piece of advice… If you feel that you can’t handle it now don't seek him ever again it will only hurt more.”
Jon didn’t answer, he curled himself on the couch. Elias covered him with a blanket and waited until he fell asleep.
“Could you stop hiding Peter? It’s incredibly annoying.”
“You are very appealing when you are lonely, Elias.”
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t. Actually, I start suspecting you are rather fond of me.” Peter frowned, “It has to stop.”
Elias snorted.
“Don’t worry, any warm feelings I had for you just vanished.”
“Splendid!”
Next part: part 14
Kings of the ruined world
Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7 | Part 8 |Part 9| Part 10 |Part 11 |Part 12| Part 13| Part 14
(this one is fun. Trust me ^^)
Peter’s life became ten times more tiring since Jon started living with them. One watcher was already a stretch, two meant trouble. It brought to his life unexpected entertainment that was not exactly welcome. He was disturbed and forced to share a space with yet another person, and oh, how exhausting it was. However, to say he didn’t grow fond of Jon would be a lie, as much as Peter could be fond of anyone.