#kp0prealtalk

[iamkaiwaii]

To bias;

BIAS means Being Inspired and Addicted to Someone who doesn’t know you

“you’re my ‘kaya ko pang ipaglaban. baka may chance pang maging kami balang araw’ in this world of 'tama na. suko na ako’”

you’re my “sige okay lang naman mapuyat para sayo” in this world of “sige, goodnight”

you’re my “handa akong mag antay ng mv at bagong kanta kahit gaano katagal” in this world of “walang comeback eh, lipat fandom muna”

you’re my “bat kita iiwan? ikaw nga inspirasyon ko eh. kahit kelan di ako bibitaw sayo bias” in this world of “yoko na sa kpop. nakakaumay”

[cr; KP0PREALTALK]

[iamkaiwaii]

Let him go...

Let him go....

Few years from now, you’ll smile remembering how many fanfics you’ve written & fanfics you’d read with your bias as the main character.And you’ll remember downloading all their songs in your phone and not eating snacks and lunch to save money just to buy their new album.Few years from now, you’ll laugh about how you saved their new pictures on your flashdrive up until it was full & buy another to save more.You’ll remember how many people disliked you. judged you. didn’t understand you. but you didn’t care because you believe in them.You’ll remember how some people insulted them, saying they’re “a waste of time” and how you defended them with all your heart.Few years from now, you’ll smile wondering how weird you were when you cried with them when they won and how you felt bad when they lose.You shed lots of tears. got angry. got hurt. Yet you didn’t care because they gave you strength. Because you’re his fangirl & he’s your bias.Few years from now, you’ll remember how happy you were when you bought their concert ticket and how excited you are to finally see them.You’ll remember how hard you shouted while holding their banner and your lightstick they went into the stage.You’ll laugh remembering how stupid you were when you tried hard to record their whole perf perfectly but failed because of too much feels.And how you waved your hand aggresively and screamed just for him to noticed you even for just a second.You’ll remember being pushed and stepped on by other crazy fans who were equally obsessed with him just like you but you could'nt care less.You were stepped on. Tired. Yet you didn’t care. Because they make you happy. And that night was like a fairytale.Few years from now, that day will come. When he already found the girl he loves. And the worst part is, it’s not you.You’ll smile bitterly remembering how he said he loves you too, but with her – it was different.You’ll remember, how he said he said he wouldn’t be there in his place right now if it wasn’t because of you.You’ll smile sheepishly remembering searching up the “girl” on the internet. How you cried thinking how that girl can make his heart flutter.Wondering how she was the only one that can completely turned his world around. But not you despite of how many years you loved him.He’s with someone else and not you. That fact shattered your heart. Though it is hard, You’ll smile, because his happiness is your happiness.You’ll remember how he said and meant, she’s the one for him. You told yourself to wake up. That he doesn’t know you at all. Despite all those nights you stayed up to get him to notice you. Despite all the arguments you've had with your parents just to see him.Despite all the hate you received. Despite how you loved him as much as you loved yourself. Despite of all those restless hours you waited at the airport just to get a wave from him... Despite all of these, he can’t love you. He loves your fandom but not you alone. He don’t even know that you exist. Because you're just a fangirl. Nothing more. Few years from now. you'll remember how he broke your heart, how he made you cry. How many people said that you should let go. How you should forget him bc he is a waste of time. Yet you hold on, looked up to him, cherished him even though you know he can’t be yours. And then you'll cry remembering the reason why you hold on. Because you love him. You love that one special group. And that was never a lie.

[iamkaiwaii]

A letter of a fangirl

Dear Bias,

This is all going to be so sad so I'm going to need you to be strong. Thank you for making me happy for the past few years.I remember when I first met you. It was so long ago, it all seems like it happened to a TV show. All I can remember are scenes.Thank you for every smile, every laugh you showed us. I am grateful for everything. You were my world, my inspiration.Most books, comics, songs, movies, all stories in fact, have endings. Just like our story, just like our journey it does have an ending.After spazzing for like 5-7 years (and maybe more) this seems like a good time to stop. I know this will be sad but I need to do this.I am eternally grateful for all the amazing experiences being a kpop fan allowed me, to all the amazing people I met from all over the world.bias, thank you for making me feel less alone. Thank you for making me happy, thank you for being an inspiration.I will still be active on twitter, sharing my thoughts and any news, but maybe i'll stop talking about you.If you release any music again, maybe if I have time , I will still find it and share it. I will still be here, but not like before.This is not the end. This is something far more exciting than that. I am going into the realm of the unknown, to my reality.I will leave you behind. I dont know if we can find our way back. I'm sorry if this hurts. I will always love you. I will always miss you.Although it's heartbreaking to see this, I forced myself, I earned enough courage for me to be able to say what I want to say.I cannot possibly begin to thank you for your work, your words, your contribution to the world and my life.The way you've made my life better, captures thoughts i couldn't articulate, helped me through the pain, celebrated every victory.I'm not crying because i'm sad, i'm crying because i'm happy i found you. I'm happy you've been able to touch so many lives thru ur songs.You have picked me up on bad days when no one else could and when i was at my absolute worst, all i needed were your words, your songs.for some you have changed their life, for others you were a source of hope, an escape, for others, your words were just words...nothing more.as for me, you have a small but permanent place in my heart, bias. you are appreciated and loved more than you know.Thank you for the memories thank you for being my escape to reality. I love you and i'll miss you, though we all must move on. Sincerely, your beloved fangirl

PS: Remember, you will always be a part of my beautiful story.