Playing with Fire: Ch 3
Word Count: 3,535
Chapter 3
Lisa happily skipped down the hallway with two cups of coffee in her hands. One for her and the other for you. She had really enjoyed the day with you yesterday and was looking forward to what the rest of the year held.
When she stood in front of the conference room, she could see Chaeyoung and Jisoo walking towards her from the other side of the building. Therefore, Lisa waited for them and tried to somehow wave at them despite the beverages in her hand.
“Is that one for me?”
Chaeyoung asked with a grin once she reached the maknae, but Lisa immediately shook her head.
“Nope.”
She stuck her tongue out, causing Chaeyoung to look at her offendedly. But before she could say anything in return, Lisa opened the door to the conference room.
Once inside, however, her grin faltered. Her gaze immediately fell on the long conference table and the sight made her clench the two cups tightly. Jennie was sitting next to you and the two of you were looking deeply into each other’s eyes. Lisa didn’t know why, but the sight made her heart feel heavy. Were you interested in Jennie? She couldn’t blame you if you were. Jennie was one of the most beautiful people, she had ever met. And no one had yet been able to resist her charms.
When you noticed the other members standing in the door, you quickly leaped to your feet and walked towards them to greet them. But the insecurities had already been planted in Lisa’s head. Therefore, she only sheepishly bowed to you, before shoving the second coffee that she was holding in Chaeyoung’s hands.
“I thought it wasn’t for me?”
She asked confused, while Lisa plopped down on her seat as far away from you as possible.
“I was just joking.”
She mumbled grumpily, causing Chaeyoung’s confusion to increase.
Gladly, however, she let Lisa’s strange behavior go and just sat down beside her, happy about her free drink. Teddy started the meeting, but Lisa could, quite frankly, not care less what her was saying despite usually trying to be attentive and diligent. A whirlwind of emotions was dashing through her and she didn’t know how to stop it. Disappointment, jealousy, anger. Everything was happening so fast and Lisa’s mind was racing at 300 miles per hour.
Nevertheless, she tried to behave as normal as possible. She couldn’t prevent herself, however, from glaring at you and Jennie from time to time. At one point in the meeting, she was pretty sure that Jennie had laid her hand on yours under the table and it took everything from Lisa to not slam her hand on the table and yell at Jennie. How could it have been so easy for her to wrap you around her finger?
It was incredible how fast you had managed to get under Lisa’s skin. She had never felt about someone this way and now she was a little overwhelmed with her feelings. What was she supposed to do about them? Even if Jennie didn’t claim you hers, you were still her coworker and, in some ways, even her boss. She couldn’t just ask you out. The humiliation would be too big if you rejected her and it would ruin the whole energy of the production process. No, she couldn’t let that happen.
But that was easier said then done. Feelings weren’t something that you just could turn off. They were something that even managed to grow in the dark. And in Lisa’s case, it felt like they were a bad tumor that was slowly eating her from the inside out.
Whenever your laughter was filling the room, she felt like getting drunk from the sound. Whenever you gestured with your hands while talking, she wondered how they would feel on her skin. But she knew that she would never get to know. You didn’t even seem to see her. At least not in the way you saw Jennie or Chaeyoung. Your eyes lit up whenever you saw them, and you greeted them with a wide smile as soon as they entered the studio. While she was only a supporting role in the production process.
Lisa hadn’t even started to get her hopes up when you announced that you were choosing the lead for the song that you had written on your own. Of course, you wouldn’t choose her. She wasn’t what you were looking for. In every way.
The weeks passed with that knowledge weighting down on her and she started slacking off. Every day she had to watch how Jennie and Chaeyoung grew closer to you. You had your own inside jokes and although Lisa didn’t want to envy her members, she couldn’t stop the bitterness that was rising inside of her. All the things that you made her feel turned into this violent storm that was raging inside of her and wanted to break free. It cost her everything to tame it, making her irritable and unconcentrated. Which brought her even further away from being noticed by you.
Why should you give the main rap of the song to the lead rapper that couldn’t even keep two sentences in her head because it was occupied by thoughts of you? How was the supposed to sing powerful and energetic songs when her heart was slowly crumbling? No matter what she did, it only seemed to speed up the vicious circle that she was caught in.
Lisa had been looking forward to this album for a long time. She wanted to give her blood, sweat and tears into it and give the fans what they deserved. But apparently it wasn’t meant to be. Her performance was abysmal, and she had already accepted the fact that she wouldn’t play a big role in this album.
But then the impossible became possible.
You finally noticed her. You gave her the killing part in the second song that you completely produced on your own. Lisa couldn’t have been happier. Finally, you recognized her talent. Maybe this could be the exit to the misery that she had been feeling the past months.
If she had only known that this was the beginning of the end.
---
No matter how much you were complaining about the situation you were in, you couldn’t deny its impact on your creativity. Since Blackpink had come into your life, you couldn’t stop picking up the pen. You came up with lyrics that you would have never imagined in your wildest dreams and sometimes you spend almost 48 hours in the studio without even noticing. The girls were your biggest inspiration.
You were at the top of your game and Teddy was very satisfied with your work. Satisfied enough to agree to include a second song that you had basically produced on your own in the album. This was an immense honor for you as a new producer in the game. But also, a challenge.
Once again you had to pick the parts for each girl and decide who would get the most lines. You knew that you should choose objectively. Give the killing part to the girl that fitted the concept the most. But you couldn’t do that. You couldn’t work with Chaeyoung or Jennie that closely again. They had twisted your sense of better judgement and you needed to stay clear of all hidden traps. So you needed to go with the safest, not the best option.
Therefore, you decided to give the killing part to Lisa. She had been the shyest and most low-key member till now. Maybe she had truly only been trying to be nice to you and she wouldn’t be dangerous for you. Of course, you would still treat her with suspicion, but you felt safest to work close with her.
When you told the girls the news, you could see the shock in Lisa’s eyes, and you felt bad for ignoring her these past months. She had been nothing but nice to you on the first encounter you had, but then all the drama with Jennie and Chaeyoung had started and you had no capacity to take care of her. So much for your intend of treating all the girls the same.
Therefore, you were glad to have made the decision to give Lisa the lead. Opposing, however, to the rest of the girls. The moment you had announced your decision, the atmosphere in the studio changed. You earned yourself piercing gazes from the rest of the members and it was hard to look them in the eyes. Apparently, this production process hadn’t only been a rollercoaster of emotions for you.
No matter what you did, it always seemed to contribute to the tension that had been forming between the five of you right from the start. You wanted it to finally disappear, so you could work in peace. But at the same time, you were afraid that it would unwind itself in a massive explosion that would lead to casualties. One of them would probably be your career.
But you wouldn’t think about that yet. You had just made the first rational decision in a while and it was supposed to calm the situation.
At least that's what you had thought. But then the disaster beyond all expectations happened.
---
You couldn’t explain why, but the second you opened your eyes in the morning, you could feel in your bones that today would be a bad day. You really didn’t want to leave the house and actually played with the thought of calling in sick. But then you remembered that today would be the first day of recording your self-produced song. It was a big day for you, and you didn’t want to let anyone down.
Therefore, you eventually made your way to the YG Entertainment headquarters, while you could feel a headache starting to form. Either you were starting to get paranoid or your body truly knew that you should have stayed at home. But it was too late to turn around now, so you were about to find out which case would occur.
When you entered Blackpink’s studio, it felt like stepping into the Antarctica, causing a cold shudder to run down your spine. The girls were sitting all over the room with large distances between them. No one was talking. No one was even looking at the other. Teddy was sitting in the middle and helplessly searched for your eyes when you entered the room.
“Good morning.”
You mumbled nervously before closing the door behind you, although you’d have preferred to go back to where you had just come from.
All eyes fell on you, making you gulp thickly. Judging by their expressions, something must have happened between them. And something was telling you that you had a major part in it. But you couldn’t let your insecurities show. You had to take control of the situation and do as much damage control as you could. Therefore, you straightened up and cleared your throat.
“Let’s get started right away. How about we start with Lisa?”
You asked with a fake smile, ignoring the eyeroll that you received from Jennie in response.
Lisa instantly leaped to her feet and walked towards you with her head held high. By the way she was clenching the sheets in her hands, however, you could tell that she was nervous. If you were right, this cold atmosphere was caused by your decision to give Lisa the killing part. So you couldn’t really blame her for being a little nervous. You were sure that you wouldn’t want to be the target of Jennie’s, Chaeyoung’s and Jisoo’s anger.
“Don’t worry. I know you’ll do great.”
You whispered silently once Lisa was standing next to you, while squeezing her arm encouragingly.
Like an ice statue, Lisa suddenly stopped in her movements and you looked at her perplexed.
“Are you ok?”
You asked concerned, while following Lisa’s gaze that was fixed on your hand that was still resting on her arm, causing you to let her go.
“Y-Yeah of course.”
She stuttered sheepishly before going into the secluded part of the studio to record her part.
Confused by the weird situation just now, you gazed back at her for a second before shaking off your trance and moving to your spot. Teddy and you took a seat in front of the mixer and waited till Lisa had put on her headphones and organized the sheets with the lyrics. Once she was ready, she gave you a nervous thumbs up and you started to play the song. Expectantly, all of you stared at the maknae who was insecurely fidgeting with her headphones. Her cue came and...
Nothing.
Lisa had opened her mouth, but no words were coming out. Teddy and you looked at each other in wonderment while you could hear a malicious scoff from behind you that you chose to ignore. Quickly you stopped the music and turned to Lisa.
“That’s ok, Lisa. Happens all the time.”
You tried to calm her, but her eyes skipped you and wandered to her members in the back of the studio who were probably wondering whether you were regretting your decision yet.
“Ok, one more time. 1,2,3.”
You counted in before starting the music again.
This time, Lisa didn’t miss her cue, but the outcome wasn’t much better than in the first try. Teddy immediately stopped the music and Lisa looked at you with fear in her eyes. Her voice had been shaky and not at all powerful like it was supposed to be. You tried to muster a smile to soothe her, but slowly you were beginning to get nervous yourself. After all, Teddy, who was the leading producer of the album, was sitting right beside you. What if he cut your song off the list if this didn’t work out?
Despite your own nervousness, you encouraged Lisa once again to not let herself be thrown off by her mistakes, but you knew that your words weren’t much of a help. One take followed the other and Lisa either missed her cue completely or messed it up by not being able to capture the energy of the song. You could feel the girls behind you getting more and more agitated and slowly you were losing your patience too.
“Let’s take a break guys.”
You eventually sighed and Lisa shakily took her headphones off to join you.
“I’m really sorry.”
She apologized silently and you wondered whether those were tears in her eyes.
“It’s o-“
“You have to sing more like you mean it.”
You had wanted to cheer Lisa up, but you were cut short by Chaeyoung.
“Yeah your last notes aren’t clear. You need to hold them longer.”
Jisoo agreed causing Lisa to look at them angrily.
“You sounded breathless. You have to control your breath better.”
Jennie joined the other two members and you looked at the scene in front of you in terror.
You could see how Lisa was starting to clench her fists more with every word her members said and how her expression slowly turned to ice. Her eyes were almost black and the air around her seemed to be electrified. You slowly began ducking as if you knew that an eruption of emotions was about to come.
“Seriously Lisa. Our vocal coach has told you that a million times already.”
Jennie huffed, causing Lisa to finally break her silence and groan in response.
“You know what. Fine. Here take it. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
Lisa suddenly exclaimed angrily while holding out the sheet with the lyrics, catching her members off guard.
“Just take it from me! That’s what you do best, Jennie!”
Her voice cracked and tears suddenly spilled from her eyes, making you look at her in shock.
When she realized that all eyes were on her, Lisa hid her face behind her hands, making her members immediately reach out to comfort her.
“Get off me!”
She yelled in response though before suddenly storming out of the room and slamming the door behind her.
All of you jumped in surprise before complete silence fell around you. No one knew how to handle this situation, because none of you had ever experienced something like this before.
“What was that about? I’ve never seen her like this.”
Teddy finally broke the silence with wide eyes while looking at the other members for an explanation.
“Me neither...”
Chaeyoung mumbled perplexed while staring at the door as if Lisa would return any second and declare everything a joke.
But the door didn’t open, leaving everyone in shock.
“I think, I should check up on her.”
Jennie eventually said although it sounded more like a question.
She was about to walk to the door when you held out your arm and stopped her from moving.
“No, I think that’s a bad idea. Let me check up on her. I think, I’m the one that’s least involved in your fight.”
You proposed, earning yourself sheepish nods from the other girls.
After taking a deep breath, you left the room to search for Lisa. The headquarters were huge though and several rooms were on the same floor as the studio, so it took you a while to find her. Eventually you peaked into the right room and saw Lisa huddled up in a chair while silent sobs left her mouth. Your heart broke immediately, and you quickly rushed to her side.
“Hey it’s ok. Don’t cry.”
You whispered before lowering yourself to her height and pulling her into your arms.
Her sobs immediately increased, and you felt her clinging to your body in search for comfort.
“It’s ok. We all have our bad days.”
You tried to calm her, but suddenly Lisa pushed you away.
“It’s not just a bad day! I’m not the right one for the part!”
She sobbed heartbreakingly, causing you to cup her face.
“Don’t say that. I know you can do better.”
“Really? Do you want to ask the other girls what they think about that?”
Lisa responded with a bitter laugh, but you weren’t letting her talk badly about herself.
“They are just jealous because I haven’t given them the lead in the song. I’m sure if they were honest with themselves, they’d know that I have made the right decision.”
You smiled encouragingly while wiping away the tears that streamed down Lisa’s cheeks.
“That’s not true! You know very well that I’m not as talented as them. Why else have you been ignoring me these past months?”
Lisa’s accusation caught you off guard and you almost tumbled back in surprise. Quickly you shook your head though and put your hand on her cheek to make her look at you.
“What are you talking about? I haven’t ignored you! You are incredibly talented. That’s why I gave you the part. Don’t ever think like that again, ok?”
You answered somewhat confidently after forcing your heart to beat normally again.
Lisa looked at you searchingly and you tried to seem calmer than you actually were. Apparently, she believed your words because she slowly nodded although tears were still streaming down her cheeks. Therefore, you gently grabbed her head and pushed it against your body again. She immediately began trembling, so you held her as tightly as possible to give her the comfort that she needed. It seemed like she was letting go of all the emotions that she had held back way too long, because your arms were already falling asleep once she finally stopped crying.
“Your voice is perfect for this song. It’s all I have been looking for.”
You said softly when you noticed that it had been quiet for a while, causing Lisa to lean back.
Her face was dangerously close to yours, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. Your eyes were lost in hers that had an inexplainable look in them.
Was that...desire?
You hadn’t found an answer yet, when Lisa suddenly lunged forward and captured your lips with hers. Your brain couldn’t comprehend what was happening, but your feelings made your lips move against hers in a passionate kiss that ended as abruptly as it had started. Panting for air Lisa pulled away and stared at you with wide eyes.
“Oh my god.”
She mumbled before slamming her hand over her mouth.
“Lisa...”
You breathed, still in disbelief and lacking any clear thoughts in your head.
But you weren’t given the chance to say anything else, because Lisa suddenly leaped to her feet, causing you to fall backwards. Hastily she left the room while you gazed back at her with an open mouth. One part of you wanted to chase behind her. The part that had allowed her to kiss you. But another part was forcing you to stay. It was the part that knew that any wrong action would be like pouring gasoline in the fire that had just struck down on your life. Your heart was beating faster than every before, making you hold your head in frustration because the drumming was too loud to concentrate.
Should you stay or should you go?