♡/♛- Hate me
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➸ INTERESTS; - f!reader x aged-up! Neteyam/Lo’ak.
➸ BACKGROUND; - You’re sure he hates you, at least that’s what you repeat to yourself to calm your nerves whenever he stares at you. Especially when he shouldn’t draw a reaction out of you when you’re with his brother.
➸ WARNINGS; - wc. 5.2k, infidelity, curiosity, mentions of cheating, yearning, sexual tension, romantic tension, unhappy relationship, toxic relationship, uncertainty, mentions of sensitive mental health, mentions of sex, etc.
➸a.i; - 🌸my main navigation, uhhh not proof read.. also i created an account on AO3 and posted my fics from here on there already. the link is here. (kryptznnn)
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He makes a mental reminder to talk some “sense” into his younger brother later on in the day after he’s done with comforting you from yet another day of disappointment. Your head rested against his broad chest as you sob softly and listen to his heartbeat.
It’s wrong, at least that’s what you told yourself before completely collapsing into his arms after your so called “lover” has left you yet again to go off and do whatever he wastes his time doing. Today was meant for celebration and happiness between the two of you.
Of course you hadn’t told that to Neteyam but he already knew that. Today was your year anniversary together, and yet you were here and his brother was wherever on Eywa’s beautiful terrain. It pained him to see you in such an estate but he stayed quiet, just placing a hand on your back in attempts to soothe you quicker.
You were sure he hated you, you always come crying or furious at whatever his brother has done to you and he just stands there to take it all in, the two of you don’t speak much, you speak more with Kiri, but whenever the two of you do it feels so strange. It’s as if there’s something lingering in the air or a hidden message behind his words you can’t decipher and it kills you.
You can see it in his eyes now as you pull away from him, catching a quick glimpse at him before placing your head down and wiping your damp face quickly, placing an image in your head of what you could look like at the moment. He doesn’t say anything, he only watches you, his lips part as if to say something but nothing comes out.
His hand stays at his side, but he wants to reach out. He feels the need to do so, as if it’ll make things easier for him to rest his whirlwind of emotions. He wishes it was as easy to release his emotions on command like you did, cry when things felt unfair to him, lash out and break things or spar until he was bruised and bleeding from head to toe, but it wasn’t that easy.
It wasn’t easy to stay strong either, especially when the woman he’s longed for half of his whole life is standing right in front of him and there’s nothing he can do but stare. You’re not his to claim, he has no right over you, no title, no power, and it hurts.
He was sure nothing could’ve hurt him more than the wounds he suffered from his time with the Metkayina clan, and he was so wrong. When the bullet pierced through his skin it stung for so long, and overtime after he healed and slowed his movements his upper body became rigid and stiff, the wound began to close and the new skin and muscle became tight, leaving a nasty scar.
And regardless of what the scar reminded him of you never failed to compliment it when he came back home, came back home to you. You praised him for his bravery and the kindness you showered him with was unconditional, to him even though he was gone over a year you hadn’t changed at all, and he loved it.
He loved you.
Neteyam decided after so long of pushing things aside and placing his family and others first he’d place himself first, his desires and feelings, and when it all came down to one thing he was sure of it. He was in love with you, he couldn’t deny it or push it away, it was just how he felt.
He kept to himself as he always had, stealing glances at you longer than he should have, holding you longer than he should have been, even wasting time and coming home later than usual just to stumble upon the same path you had before.
It was comedic for him to say the least when he was enjoying dinner during Lo’aks’ birthday for his brother to announce he was interested in someone, and to his surprise that someone was also interested in him, to the point where his confession was accepted on that same day. His parents serenaded him and his siblings all shared giggles and stupid glances.
Even when Lo’ak pronounced your name Neteyam didn’t bat an eye, he didn’t haunt his movements, just continued to eat his food with a smile and a small nod. Your name sounded foreign on his lips, probably because Neteyam could already realize he pronounced it wrong.
He felt the same sting as he did when he was shot, but this time more rapid, more painful, more vulgar. It was larger, practically consuming his entire body and it was all his fault. He could see it in your eyes snd it killed him, as much as it pained him to look at the two of you he just couldn’t look away.
He knew he was a better option for you, you both did. He would’ve held you when he kissed you, not missing a spot on your perfect body. He’d fuck you better than his brother could, he would’ve made love to you, not just call it casual sex. He’d give you what you deserve and more, build a throne from his own hands if you hadn’t even asked for it.
He’d mate with you, start a family with you, whatever you’d want he’d give his life to make it happen. He was so infatuated with the idea of you it made him physically ill, restless nights in which he could only fall asleep by digging underneath his tewng as he moaned your name over and over.
There you were sitting with his brother, bashful smile plastered on your face as you batted your lashes 3 times. You’d only do that when you’re nervous, or how you’d pick at the skin of your thumbs when you’re overwhelmed from your own emotions as you listened to Lo’ak speak. Then you’d break out into laughter and slap his shoulder playfully before pulling him in for a sweet kiss.
It was passionate, so passionate to the point Neteyam believed he would’ve been sick if he continued to stare. Watching the two of you act as if no one else was besides you at the lakeside was draining, and maybe if he thought about it enough he would’ve lashed out, maybe even shed a tear, but his face was unmoved. He only turned his head to the other side after hearing his youngest sister call for his aid within the forest.
Now he was watching you wipe at your face several times, crossing your arms and looking to the side and biting the inside of your cheek. You’d only do that when you were embarrassed or ashamed.
He wondered if his brother knew that, if anything he wondered what exactly Lo’ak knew about you to have been with you for so long. Did his brother see you the same way he did to make him fall for you, and for you to be with him? The thought of the process made him feel sick to his stomach, he dropped his eyes down quickly, scanning the mossy floors beneath the two of you before you spoke.
“I’m sorry about this, it won’t happen again.” You spoke smoothly, your voice cracking slightly as you began. Neteyam’s eyes darted back to you, scanning your face.
Your lashes looked so much longer when they’re wet, and the redness in your eyes after so much crying and rubbing gave your face a sort of glow that would always make his stomach bubble. The gnawing and slight swelling of your lips made him to to kiss you and bite at them to mark them even worse, truly bring out the drained color from all over you.
“You said that before, and yet here we are.” He stated simply, both hands at his sides before he turned around to face his back to you. He was sure he was caught staring at you for too long and didn’t want to face you for whatever your response would be.
A pang of guilt was quick to hit your chest, your eyes darted off to the side. You thought to yourself what was best to do in a situation like this, but if anything you couldn’t just remain quiet.
“I apologize again” was all that was able to leave your lips, a slight quiver in your voice as if you were to cry again. Neteyam hadn’t moved, his body never faltered, not even a flick of his tail or twitch of his finger.
He hadn’t accepted the apology, and technically he hadn’t rejected it either. The two of you stood in silence for a while, assuming this short scene was over you only turned around and brought your thumb up to your mouth, biting at your nail silently as the grass crunches beneath you.
“Your relationship with him isn’t getting any better.” Were his words, and they made you completely stop in your tracks, not even walking two steps ahead. You smirked slightly at his words, unfortunately he wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t that easy. You eventually hid your small smirk with a frown.
Maybe if this was different and maybe if he had understood your position he wouldn’t have prodded at the relationship. It felt too late to break off and start over again now, and Lo’ak had already rejected the idea so many times, even to take a break. It wouldn’t be easy with someone else who’d possibly put you through more than Lo’ak had.
There was a time and place the two of you argued so badly that you questioned whether or not you had ever even loved the man. You were smitten with him, the two of you were happy, you’d go out together eager to have your hands all over each other and make love to each other in the night.
Now you can’t remember the last time you hugged each other and meant it, or kissed his lips and let it linger for a while. You couldn’t even remember the last time he fucked you good enough, or fucked you at all.
Things like these were embarrassing to say aloud but they always floated at the top of your conscience. What’s worse is that you felt as if now you were placing two brothers against one another, and that wasn’t what you had implied to do at all, especially in such a short time period.
Lo’ak loved being in a relationship for its positives, not for all of the responsibility and mental maturity or baggage it came with. Unfortunately with that mindset you’d constantly be the one to pay the price.
Draining arguments, forgetting special days or fancy dinners, setting you aside or belittling you in front of others just to give him some edge off, he could’ve been caught in infidelity, but maybe that wasn’t true.
Maybe you were overdramatizing everything beyond your comprehension because you never had hold of the situation. Truly you never had control of anything with him, even when he had confessed to you and awaited your response, you truly never said “yes” to him, but you hadn’t rejected him either. Being the man he is he made the decision for you and the two of you have been on this adventure since.
“Okay” you responded in a hushed tone, raising your head up in hopes that Neteyam had heard you so you didn’t need to repeat yourself. You could hear as he made his way over to you, which made you turn swiftly only to be inches away from him yet again.
“Okay? That’s all you have to say?” He spoke, his voice raising in octave as he furrowed his brows. For some reason as if you could read him he didn’t seem angry with you or your words, more confused or dissatisfied.
“I already knew that, and I know things won’t change anyway. I’m sorry for bothering you. Again.” You spoke, bowing your head slightly before lifting it again, your head nearly grazing his chest. You heard him suck at his teeth and you swallowed, preparing yourself for his next words.
He hadn’t said a word, just looked off to the side, his previous dissatisfaction had now turned into anger and you took this as the opportunity to leave. Making your way to turn and walk away again he was quick to grab your wrist to sustain your movements and make you stay.
He pulled you in closer to him, your hand resting on his chest for support as you nearly toppled from being off balance. He parted his lips to speak, but paused for a moment before wetting them and locking his eyes with yours.
“Leave him” he said softly, his voice lowering a tone from his usual voice. It made you shudder at the sudden sound and the warmth from his breath fanning your face. His voice was completely different from his eyes, his eyes were pleading with you— begging you to do something you hadn’t dreamed of.
As if he was saying, “leave him to be with me” with just a look. At least that’s what you were telling yourself, and you sounded ridiculous, you looked ridiculous. You were with a man, more importantly his brother, and as many issues as there would have been you would stay loyal to him, at least for now.
If you can’t give him honesty or your true love anymore the least you could do is give him your respect and loyalty, it wasn’t hard to. Considering this man in front of you would have even thought or seen you of anything short of a woman would’ve blown your chance anyway.
He doesn’t like you, and you don’t like him, you lie to yourself. You find company in his resolve as everyone does as he’s the future Oloeyktan of your people, nothing else. He’s only telling you to leave his brother (as he has many times before) because it’s the only suggestion he has to offer.
There is no excess message, there is no tension, there is nothing between the two of you, at least there shouldn’t be. No relationship should be built between the two of you other than what his brother built for you two to use.
So you ignored the way your face and neck seemed to heat up suddenly at the gesture and phrase, and also ignored how your stomach seemed to drop. It hadn’t helped that Neteyam leaned his face in closer, your eyes on his lips and his eyes on yours, biting his own lips in the process.
Let Neteyam show you how a real man should treat a real woman. Ease into his touch and stand on your tippy toes, maybe even tip your head a bit to give him access to your lips, maybe your neck..
His other hand was quick to make way at your waist, and his hand had only been there at least once or twice before. Catching you when you fainted as children when you were ill and previously before when you had cried over Lo’aks’ fight with you over your future together.
You only stumbled back quickly, scowling at yourself for feeling gitty and excited at the sudden gesture. ‘He just wanted to hug me, possibly’ you told yourself to cool your nerves.
In all honesty you wish he would’ve leaned closer, which is a horrible thing to admit or even think about, but nothing could’ve stopped it. You swallowed again before speaking, head down and eyes at your feet.
“Thank you, I must go now.” And without a second you turned around and walked as normally as you could, quickening your pace the deeper you made it into the forest without missing a beat.
Neteyam hates you, at least he should. No man in their right mind would sit around and listen to a woman whine over lover problems, especially if they’re the brother to that ‘bad’ lover. If he did hate you, he had the best poker face to hide it, and his actions seemed even stranger.
Maybe he didn’t hate you, but after all it wasn’t like he was as close to like you either. You were sure of it, he only kept cordial and respectful to you because you’re with his younger brother. He must’ve been riddled with guilt earlier to make him do something so passionate or caring.
But his hands were so rough and large, larger than yours, his fingers longer too, how he cupped at your wrist and tightened his grip on your waist, squeezing slightly as if to test something. The entire thing made your stomach tighten again at the feeling and your ears warmer than usual.
He bit his lip, he looked into your eyes and bit his lip. He was tempting you he had to be, maybe it was all a test, in order to see where your strength or loyalty lies, even though you’ve been challenged and drained emotionally and mentally from the relationship.
Yes that’s all, it was just a test. At least now you know he definitely doesn’t hate you..
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A rough gasp escaped your lips as Lo'ak toppled over on top of you, slowly rolling over onto his side on your shared bed space and pressing a kiss at your shoulder. You smiled softly before turning to face him, wiping the sweat and wet hairs that clung to his forehead, the two of you out of breath.
"Told you I'd make it up to you" he teased, grinning from ear to ear. You only giggled softly, rolling your eyes at him as he chuckled. You pulled him into a passionate kiss, gasping as he wrapped his arms around your back, pulling you onto him. He took this invitation to slide his tongue into your mouth, to which you reciprocated with a moan.
You were quick to straddle him, already understanding what position this would've placed the two of you in. You pulled away first, gasping for air as saliva cut between the two of you, your naked bodies entangled with one another.
"You look so beautiful." Was all he said as he cupped your cheek softly, smiling up at you. The moment between the two of you was interrupted by a sharp knocking at the front of your hut, making you nearly fall off your lover.
You heard a voice call out for Lo'ak, before knocking again, making you quickly lift yourself off of him and collect your things off the floor and put your slim robes on. Your back was faced to Lo'ak the entire time but eventually he shouted out to give him a minute and you heard him rustling with his own things and opening the windows around.
You grabbed a robe you'd constantly wear in your shared cot before you made your way over to the entrance, raking your hair down with your fingers with a smile. You soon opened the flap to the entrance and greeted whoever it was with a smile, unexpectedly your breath was caught in your throat.
"Y/n.." Neteyam spoke in a hushed tone, you only glanced at him before letting him inside, your back colliding with someone's chest from behind you. You jumped slightly, startled that Lo'ak had already finished and was standing right behind you. He took note of your surprise and laughed, placing both of his hands at your sides before greeting his brother.
"Neteyam, how was training the boys of the village?" Lo'ak asked, walking further into the cot, Neteyam only frowned as he caught a quick glimpse of his brother's back, then to your face and collarbone. He only turned his head to the side and scrunched his face before speaking.
"It was alright, promising in most parts." He spoke smoothly, the faint smell of sweat going through his nose as the air from outside entered the mid-sized home. He earned a soft chuckle from his younger brother.
"Hopefully, they're easier to train and deal with than Tikal and I when we were their ages." He said, earning a small scoff from Neteyam, you turned to face him to see a small smile plastered on his face, you exhaled with a smile.
Your nerves seemed to relax as Neteyam answered with a hum as you made your way towards the small kitchen you had, washing your hands before tying your hair back.
"Any students of mine who would've acted like either of you would've had to report to our father." He chuckled, sitting down soundly beside his brother in the open space as you watched them.
You were quick to ask either party if they were hungry as you were preparing a small bowl of fruits to eat, to which they both responded with a soft no. You only nodded and smiled, continuing to prepare food for yourself as their conversation went in one ear and out the other.
You smiled as you looked over to Lo'ak, remembering your somewhat enjoyable and long afternoon with one another once he came back home. He apologized for upsetting you and made love to you to help you forget, and in all honesty, it had worked, somewhat.
You weren't as upset as you were earlier in the morning, and the afternoon was enjoyable enough between the two of you to enjoy an anniversary. Discomfort welled in your chest, but you turned it down deeper and deeper the more you ate, a small frown appearing on your face as you glanced over at Lo'ak.
He'd made love to help you forget; he didn't even have to try in order to cheer your spirits again. His apology didn't have even a quarter of effort in it, or at least not as much effort he placed into the sex he always had with you. It seemed more as if he used you to get over his own guilt than trying to actually help you with yours.
Your frown hadn't gone unnoticed by Neteyam, who glanced over at you tugging a smile at his lips, you hadn't even bothered to look at him before you turned your head entirely and brought your hands up to your face. Lo'aks' attention turned towards his brothers' sight as he heard the flap of his home open then close slightly.
"Moody as always" Lo'ak chuckled, shaking his head and turning back to his brother, who only raised a brow at him. "It'll be over it, she always has her constant mood swings." He added after, earning a hum as a response from his brother.
"You should treat her better." He said, earning a quick scoff from Lo'ak, who now began to glare at him. "She's not 'moody', she's hurting, if you were her mate you'd know that." He finished, rolling the last bit off to sound harsher than intended.
"You speak strongly as if you know her better than I do bro, lets not forget that she's with me." He laughed, placing his arm down on his knee before speaking again.
'Because I do know her better than you do', he thought. There wasn't a single thing he didn't know about you at this point. He might've known you better than he knew himself and what his priorities and favorite things are.
"Besides, we agreed on taking things slow, I'm not ready for the entire 'soul tie' that comes with mating and making tsaheylu, neither is she." He shrugged, sinking back onto the floor with a sigh. Neteyam only swallowed and looked around, anger and jealousy blossoming in his chest.
He didn't respond, but his thoughts were enough to read off of his face, if someone were to look at him. His brother was afraid of commitment and mating and yet had sex with you whenever he pleased?
You had been crying in his arms this morning complaining of how tired you were with Lo'ak, just to lay down with him hours later? Was sex the only way to solve the issues between the two of you when you fought? Was it even considered a relationship by how out of sync and troubled the two of you were?
A frown quickly appeared on his face, batting his eyes towards the flap entrance of the hut as he watched you step inside, no longer smiling. You walked over to the two men before stopping before Lo'ak, who layed on the floor, his eyes closed.
"Lo'ak." You spoke, your voice hoarse as you nudged at his side with your feet. He shot open his eyes and quickly sat up, looking up at you with a puzzled expression. "Your friends are waiting for you outside." Was all you added on before turning your back to him, your voice laced with anger. He only shot a look towards his brother and back over to you, smiling softly before standing up and bidding farewell to you both before stepping outside with his supplies.
Neteyam kept his eyes on your figure, the way you closed the flap of the hut and bonded it shut, your hands shaking in the process as you lowered your head. Soon you turned and made your way back over, standing in the small kitchen before speaking to him, your eyes everywhere else but in his.
"Do you need anything." You said, your question heavy, leaning more towards as a statement. He hadn't answered immediately, more concerned for your sudden change in attitude, but he soon took on your previous offer, wanting to eat with you to soothe the air.
You only prepared a meal to share between the two of you as you made your way to him, sitting down in front of him without a word. You hadn't bothered to pay any mind to him or look at him as the two of you spoke, until eventually he did.
"Do you want to speak on what's troubling you?" He asked, his eyes boring into your face to fish a reaction out of you, even a slight twitch at the face or a tightening of your jaw, which you did.
"No" you spoke, continuing to eat peacefully, your eyes lowered into your lap as you continued, earning a huff from him. You only rolled your eyes at the action before looking up at him, your hair loose and falling at the sides of your face. "What?" You shot out.
"What did he do this time to make you upset to the point where you won't speak. Even to me? Don't tell me it has to do with his friends that were outsid-"
"Do you know if Lo'ak is being unfaithful to me?" You interrupted, placing your bowl down and watching moves intensely. He nearly choked as he placed his food down, coughing with a shocked look on his face, puzzled before you spoke again. "A woman came here with Tikal, asking for him. She twirled her hair and batted her lashes as she did so at me, like she had known who I was, just didn't care." You added on, chewing another bite as you did so.
Neteyam was shocked beyond belief, he tried to open his mouth, to deny ever knowing or even thinking his brother would do such a thing. His mouth remained agape, thousands of questions spiraling around in his mind.
He had expected you to cry, collapse into his arms and sob loudly, so loudly he'd feel it in his lungs, and possibly cry along with you. He expected you to attack Lo'ak, not let him roam free with the woman who asked for him, but you just sat here, composed and collected.
It hadn't made sense to him at all, he was sure he had just interrupted a moment between the two of you earlier when he arrived, and all you could do was look at him. There it was, what made him gasp before he spoke, you smiled at him. You smiled at him in regards to his surprise and idled look at the situation.
"N-no, I didn't.... L-"
"I knew you didn't know, I was only teasing." You cooed, smiling at him before placing your hand over his. His demeanor was now shifting, from shock to pure confusion. "I've known for a while, I was just figuring out how to tell you without killing you, or for you to lash out at him." You said, placing his bowl of food back in his hands as you ate again. "Eat, it'll help with the shock."
What, no, why. Why was all of this occurring now and why did you wait until now to do it all. Why were you so okay with all of this when you had known for moments before, especially when the relationship between the two of you had been so fresh. Could it be that maybe..
"Do you not love him anymore?" He asked, his voice lowering an octave, he watched as you blinked at him twice. You looked off to the side as if thinking for a moment before you responded.
"I can't not love him, love isn't something that stops." You said with honesty, smiling again before starting again. "Love is just something that transforms, it can grow into hate, sorrow, or stronger. It could start off as friendship or romance and change into something else. The love you have for someone can't just die." You finished, looking up at Neteyam, his lips pressed into a thin line.
"Or it passes onto someone else.” He said, his voice sounding hopeful as he budded in closer to you, taking in your reaction. You only turned to the side hiding your bashful gaze at him. “Leave him” he repeated in the same tone as this morning.
“It’s not as easy as you make it to be.” You replied, shaking your head before standing and taking your bowl aside. Neteyam only followed before speaking again.
“Then I’ll do whatever I have to do to help you enjoy yourself.” He flattened, placing his bowl beside yours from behind you, his fingertips brushing against your skin.
You turned to face him, his face only inches away from yours. Your breath fanning his face as his did yours. It smelled sweet, and it felt warm, inviting, comforting, just like his touch which spread through your body, now grappling onto you.
If there was any word to describe how Neteyam felt now he’d use it, he’d use it and show you how you made him feel. He was so obsessed with you it became intoxicating, he couldn’t sleep without picturing you or dreaming of you, dreaming of a moment like this.
He didn’t need to know whether you loved him or not, quite frankly he didn’t care. If he was able to get any piece of you he could he’d gladly take it. He pried into your relationship with Lo’ak in a way he prayed to Eywa you hadn’t known, emotionally.
He was your support whenever you were too weak or unstable to handle anything else from his brother and in the worst way possible he enjoyed it. He hadn’t enjoyed watching you suffer, if anything it hurt him more than life itself, but knowing your first thought or feeling was to come rushing to him in order to have some sort of peace and relief with yourself made him smile.
It made him smile like he had right now, his eyes glazing over your now wide ones, glossy and curious as if testing him. Luring him in closer and listening to your heartbeat quicken.
“He may have wanted you, and has you… but I need you.” He breathed, his lips ghosting over yours before brushing against them slightly, a small gasp in rest of a moan escaping your lips as you grabbed onto his hands that were wrapped around you.
“And you’ll have me soon Neteyam..”
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Hate Me II
Taglist: @bakugouswaif @confusedexisting
✴🕷 please do not copy, plagiarize, edit, or translate any works submitted by me. all works are originated and all other pictures used within those works are online images. thank you!! @kryptznnn