#kug babbles

[kug-the-carrot]

I never know how to properly express what Murderbot means to me, either I'm explaining it to people I can't out myself to, or people who aren't interested in the same ways I am interested in things, but I wish so badly that I could

I need people to know that this genderless construct struggling with its own personhood, feeling alientated from the human population around it and still loving and being loved (without using those words obvi), and being obsessed with media,, well it makes me feel very seen. and the books are so funny and charming and engaging but most importantly they are giving me a place where my frustrations with an angry world feel validated, a book where all the kind, sensible people are appalled by callous nature of the Corporate (capitalist) world and say "no, we must be kind"

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thinking about "Never touch me again" vs "Amena had made my hair fluffy" and also "I never heard you talk" vs "Okay, third mom"

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2nd time I saw Iron Lung in theaters (on Monday with my brother), in the first crawlspace scene it was so dark that I briefly saw the light from the projector beaming overhead across the theater and it lined up so perfectly with the actual shot on the film that I had a .2 second out of body experience wondering how the fuck they made the emergency floatation device light look so real that it was coming off screen

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truly the best thing about rangers apprentice is growing up and realizing Halt isn't actually old, and in fact is exactly in the perfect "middle aged hot outdoorsy dad" range. in this essay-

[kug-the-carrot]

After thinking about it, I can think of nothing more powerful than Alexander Skarsgard's Murderbot pulling the most disgusted face and bluntly stating it has no gender and does not want one. New viewers who do not know Murderbot and will be expecting the typical white male power fantasy "robot marine" are going to have to come to terms with that and I for one think it is a delightful notion

Would I have liked a non white cis man casting? Yes, but I'm also ready to see people tie themselves into knots over a masculine appearing character say it has no gender or sex and also wants neither

[kug-the-carrot]

the charting system we use at work tracks when users run insurances n stuff and it tags with "lastname, firstname", but sometimes it runs automatically and when it does that it just puts the name as SYSTEM, SYSTEM and every time i see that in a chart the voice of Kevin R Free floats thru my brain and i think about Murderbot

[kug-the-carrot]

Something extremely hilarious about Murderbot spending six previous books saying anagram instead of acronym, and cutting thoughts off with "whatever/something/I don't know" and generally not caring about or paying attention to many important details, some of which come back to bite it in the ass, and then in System Collapse all of a sudden dropping an entire neatly organized citation after going on a tangent

This is also sad. its citing something relevant to recent trauma, because it got bit in the ass but this time so much worse

[kug-the-carrot]

Last Friday was one of my coworkers last day at work (transferring elsewhere) and we were chatting as typical at the tail end of a workday when somehow books and audiobooks came up. Naturally I mentioned how often I listen to my favorite series (Murderbot, though I didn't name drop the series), with my usual slightly self depreciating jokes about how people are usually shocked to learn how many times ive gone over that series

My dear sweet coworker, after a slight back and forth, very sincerely went "no, no, I get it. It's like listening to your favorite songs over and over" which,,, I've never heard before. Most people in my life outside of internet friends, including my (also) neurodivergent brother, are confused/concerned/frustrated by my fixations and get weirded out when they find out how many times ive re-watched/listened/read a piece of media I love

Getting this reaction from a coworker, the instant understanding and rephrasing in a more understandable way? I'm glad my back was to her because I almost burst into tears and had to control my expression. It meant a lot more to me than I could properly express to her (without oversharing)

This is really a non-story, just me rambling, but finding the people who don't really understand but still get it is a priceless feeling. Kinda feels appropriate that the conversation took place bc of Murderbot, famously triple A coded character who I relate to very much lol