So i got this message from courtney on facebook on wednesday, immediately before she blocked me:
"i wish i could say it in person, but since ur away at college i guess im forced to type it. your sneaky and you're kneiving for talking behind my back, becoming big man on campus against my organization the minute i left bc ur too pussy to say it to my face. you think you're funny? huh? looking for notes? you're wrong. and you really need to stop feeling sorry for yourself bc you live a charmed life. theres kids out there dying of starvation and your gunna sit here and complain you selfish bastard? grow up. and don't even say I dont know what its like bc ive been in your shoes and those bigger than you. and i got out of it on my own. i was trying to help everyone. you were trying to tear me down for a laugh. youre the kind of useless scum I used to be afraid of, the kind of kids i used to let bully me. not anymore. youre a dissapointment to say the least. and i just hope you learn this lesson from me and don't fuck up anyone else's life. because the next person won't be so strong. and i can only imagine how much itd suck to go to someone's funeral u killed.
PS i have no intentions of continuing this conversation bc im not in the least bit interested in what you have to say."
ok first of all, she knew i lived at home because she followed my blog and i'm pretty sure i've seen her since school started, and because she followed me, i didn't feel the need to tag my teamsnapoutofit posts because she would see them all anyway.
but beyond that, what the fuck kind of person would try and make jokes about people with mental health problems? especially someone who has had them seriously fuck up his life? I wasn't doing this "for a laugh" i was doing this because some of the advice that was given was the kind of advice that can result in victim blaming and victim blaming makes people even more depressed. and if i was doing this for notes i would have picked something that more people have heard of, not teamsnapoutofit.
i just want to point out that i don't "feel sorry for myself," i have diagnosed depression, which means that i have a chemical imbalance in my brain that makes it extremely difficult to feel happy ever. this leads back to the victim blaming i was talking about earlier because it is impossible for me to just make myself happier using the techniques that were suggested, and if i didn't already know that, it would make me feel like shit and i would become even more depressed.
and then there's the infamous "other people have it way worse than you stop being selfish." this is regarded by a vast majority of people, therapist or not, as a Bad Thing to tell someone with mental illness. this is because it isn't something we can control, it's a chemical imbalance, and it also leads back to victim blaming and makes people feel guilty that they can't just stop being depressed. and they can't because depression. doesn't. work. that. way.
and i don't know where she got the whole personal attack against her because i made sure i said that she was a great person and i don't think the misinformation in the videos was an intentional thing. i wasn't doing this to attack her or anyone making the videos, i was doing this to help the people who would end up feeling even more depressed because some of the information in the videos is wrong.
i honestly don't understand how telling people that this information is potentially harmful, according to every therapist and doctor i've talked to, is making their lives any worse. the truth is that the advice is good for helping to rebuild the synaptic connections in the brain, but this alone isn't enough to cure anyone of depression. you need to talk to a trained professional, and if you can't afford one, when you go to school talk to the guidance department because most schools have a trained child psychologist on staff who are trained to help you.
this is literally all we were trying to do and i'm sorry if it seemed like a personal attack, but honestly, if this is how you all react to differences in opinions, i'm glad i don't know most of you. i mean i was friends with courtney until this happened and because of that message, i'm glad she blocked me i hope i don't run into her until she understands the difference between constructive criticism and an attack on her personality
