My pinned was getting far too long so here is the key bit. If you want to read the original stuff just look under the cut.
This is generally a SFW blog. If you want the spicy stuff go over to @soft-edging-kitties or if you just want the smut I've written then check out @library-naughty-corner.
Also if I catch any of you being gross to my beautiful SFW kutuals then I will get mad with you.
Minors, bigots and blank blogs DNI. Don't hide content creators in your likes. Don't reblog stolen or uncredited porn. My spicy blog has more on this.
Trans-Women are Women.
Trans-Men are Men.
Non-Binary is a valid gender.
TMI personal stuff under the cut.
My Original Pinned:
TW: Personal
I saw a post about autochorissexual recently and it mafe me feel slightly more at ease about myself.
I have a whole bunch of issues, probably all related, but I don't talk about them much. I've found a safe space in tumblr.
But I've also chatted, complimented, flirted and even, ummmm, sexted a few people and I feel a little bit of a fraud letting them make assumptions.
I hate my body, I always have, I hate having photos taken. I don't think my parents ever noticed but I always try and sit facing away from the wall of family photos. I avoid mirrors, I hate selfies, I try hard not to panic getting my hair done.I
prefer they/them. I've never really thought of myself as a "boy" or a "girl" growing up. Although I did my best to do the things expected of me. In my mind I could be either, I flip between the two, my mind translating feelings and sensations as needed. I don't want to change my body, I just wear either, or neither. It's not a kink thing, it's just what feels right.
I've never really liked the idea of actually having physical sex. I'm a virgin. But mentally the idea of others doing so, the concepts, does arouse me. I derive most of my pleasure mentally though, turning other people on, getting a reaction, that's what I enjoy.
Those who know my other blogs know I reblog women, I'm mainly attracted to the female form. I think that blog is me over compensating, trying to make others feel good. I'm honestly in awe of all those women.
On reflection, in my fiction on my "kink" blog, the PoV has never been genderised, at least not intentionally. That the interaction is almost only ever verbal is probably a reflection of my own feelings around sex.
Lockdown in the UK has actually been a blessing for me. I've spent a lot of time at home, while my flatmate is a key worker, so I've had time and space to try dressing differently, comfortably.
I tried to make my avatar as genderless as possible, although I realise it is slightly feminine if anything. I just worry about the people I've talked to making assumptions about me, feeling betrayed when they read this, but I feel guilt that I might have unintentionally misled people.
I realise some people might block me now. I expect I'll get hate anon from trolls.
I'm sorry.
This is me.
My first update:
So I've talked to a few mutuals about this, and kinda understand myself a bit more now, and wanted to try and write a bit more about it.
In a nutshell, in some way, I feel absolutely no attachment to the body I'm in, like it's just a container for my soul (if you will).
What I do seem to do is project. I'm not sure if I'm projecting onto others, or I'm projecting others onto me, or if there is even a difference?
"My kink is other people," I say, but what does that actually mean?
If I'm listening to an audio, and I like audios, I'm most likely imagining being them, how it feels to be them touching, enjoying.
If I'm reading a story, the same... picturing myself in the PoV role, being them (not me) in that situation.
There are a few mutuals I've, um, sexted with. No disrespect to them but even if they say You, or I say I, in my head I'm picturing someone else doing those things with them, I'm just imagining what it would be like being that person.
Even the few times I tried making audios it wasn't really me, I was experiencing it as someone else.
I think that also drives a lot of my NBie and fluidness, it doesn't matter what body parts I may or may not have, because at the end of the day I'm not me, I'm always someone else.
I've missed you - hope you are doing okay and taking care of yourself 💕🫶🏽
I am thank you sweetie.
I've logged in quickly a couple of times but not for much more than to check if I need to block anytime and the like so this was really lovely to find.
Guys, I'm in a lot of pain & I'm sad & hate my flesh prison lately. Wanted to drop some love in your inbox because the world needs more kindness. You're a good friend, and I love you. Sending warmth and good wishes to you. 💋
Noooooooo!
-> hug <-
You deserve to not be in pain and to love your flesh prision.
When I was younger or was always the Summer (see my answer to Luna about childhood memories)
Recently though...? This probably sounds stupid but I think just a bank holiday, probably one of the spring ones.
Like, you get an extra long weekend and there is just no pressure or expectation or rush about it, instead you just get an extra day to mooch around and do whatever you like.
61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?
A few. I sometimes get in a strop about the smut I write always getting likes but rarely getting reblogs, although it's been a lot better recently. It gets a bit disheartening sometimes but then I remember that I really write it for a couple of close mutuals and as long as enough of them like it I'm happy.
I've had a few shake-ups with peoppe I follow recently too, I know I don't need to mention one of them to you but at the same time I spotted another follower, who i'd nearly fitted with a few times, was also intending with kids as young as 14 and I was born asked with myself for not noticing before, but also still annoyed because that blog is still there.
But the real one was losing my old blog. I'm still sure it was due to a malicious bitch using a bunch of her friends to target me after I cashed her out, but the really annoying thing was the posts that got flagged didn't break any rules, and when I disturbed it I first got pixelated and then they just deleted it. I took great care with that blog not to cross any lines and they never did reply to simple stain asking for a sprcfic post breaking a specific rule. That one still aches today because of after effects.
82. whats something that youre really bad at?
Sometime I can be too literal, or misunderstand intent. And sometimes I think I get a bit obsessed and out of control. A long time mutual ever up trying me to competely back off street I messed something up but didn't really understand what and kept trying to understand the boundaries.
Thank you lovely, I did not expect to dwrite that much.
