"Stop being so picky." Kyunghee scolded me for the thousands times.
Hi, my name is Charlie, Lee Charlie. I know it sounds weird, but long story short if I could tell you..
My very first name was Lee Jieun, but I grew up not really healthy as a kid, so my mom had an idea to change my name into something more sweet and happy. And she was randomly changed it into Charlie because it sounds funny and bubbly (according to her), so she officially and legally changed my name into Lee Charlie. It still weird to me because how could my dad didn't stop her to change my name.. I mean, he could offer any other name than Charlie, right?
Sunny? That's more lively
Hani? That's pretty
Fanny? That's good too
Still.. Here I am, Charlie.. 27 years old, working as finance staff even though I was majoring in Electrical Engineering. Ha-ha!
Please notice that forced laugh.
It's my fifth year being single, no boyfriend, experiencing non romantic relationship. It was only few dates for the past years, hang out here and there but mostly won't ended up good.
It wasn't because I'm picky and have so many criteria list, it's just... I haven't met anyone who make me brave enough to start a relationship. I wasn't ready for the drama, the jealousy, the feeling when you scares to lose someone.
What if he just want to play with your feeling?
What if he doesn't love you as much you love him?
What if he doesn't want any serious relationship further than only being a boyfriend?
Let alone that every single time I have crush on someone, he would never like me back. It's always be unrequited love at the end.
Poor me and my one sided love fate.
"I'm not picky." I sighed.
"Whatever keeps you sleep at night." She rolled her eyes, "just try some dating apps, if it won't end up as boyfriend at least you can have new friends."
"You know I'm an awkward person, I'm shy." I reasoned.
But it was true, I'm such an awkward person that ever existed. I tell only cringe jokes which will make anyone back out as soon as they hear me cracking joke.
Plus, I'm not that friendly person either. I was far from Kyunghee, she has bubbly personality, outgoing, very welcoming, guys like her.
While I'm such a weird and people tend to call me cold because my big eyes and I looked like my eyes glared too much. But trust me, once you know me, I wouldn't stop talking and joking, being so funny and then annoy you for the rest of my life.
I'm that kind of person, pleas don't sue me. It's just how I let out my affection towards people I close with.
"Just try it once, okay? Once, it won't hurt." She squeezed my shoulder gently.
"Do I really have to?"
"Yes, you have to. For fun, do not take it seriously." She wiggled her shaped eyebrows playfully.
"I'm going to uninstall it if I found it useless." I said.
"Yep, no probs! At least you tried!"
-----
I was contemplating which dating apps I should give it try, the one who safe and minor scam cases. You know, there's probably someone bad and mean trying to hunt their prey.
Do I really want this?Do I really need this?
I groaned inwardly, putting my phone back to my side then rolled over on the bed facing the wall.
Just once, it won't be that bad.
I nodded, reaching my phone and start to install the most popular yet safer dating apps.
After waited for less than two minutes to install, I opened the apps and start to fill my personal data, including choose which one of selfie I needed to put.
Scrolled, scrolled... Scrolled down on my phone gallery. Then stopped as I saw my selfie back then when I was on vacation in Pattaya beach, it was me with my black T-shirt posing in such silly but cute enough face
Not bad though.
Now it's time to put on my bio, I have to put on something that's not serious but actually serious or probably serious but not that serious.
I'm really suck at this because my shyness.
That's it, I found my bio.
A very shy person.
----
"Too serious." I swiped left, moving on to the next candidate.
This one looked good, he wore glasses, smiling confidently to the camera. He has straight hair and it was cut neatly, actually he looked good with that hairstyle. His jaw was quite noticeable, he looked stern but little bit looked so young and carefree because of his full smile, showing off his white teeth.
His name is Dean, no family name.
29 years old.
His bio said : I'm hard worker, very serious person, diligent and modest. Oh wait, this isn't job application? Lol.
"Hmm, interesting. Quite bold personality." I clicked his profile to see if there's more picture of him.
This time was his picture sitting on the bench while playing with his phone, showing off his right dimple, along with his long nose and quite tanned skin.
My heart fluttered. Is this one?
One try won't hurt.
That mantra kept ringing in my head.
So I clicked chat icon and typed the most common greetings.
Charlie : Hi~
Then quickly logged out from the apps because I’m too shy and embarrassed, lol.
What did I do?
I looked at my phone dumbfounded. It wasn’t like I against any dating apps, but joined in one of them was actually embarrassing, at least in my opinion.
Did I really that helpless and hopeless?
Too bad, it’s done. I already created the account and sent friendly chat, so no backing off.
I felt uneasy and curious, so I logged in to my account, checking if that person sent me reply.
He sent me a reply! OMG!
Nothing long but sure intriguing me to read it.
Dean : Hi, I never knew that shy person could say hello first? 😂
What. The. Heck.
Was he mocking me?
Because my profile stated that I'm shy but here I am sending hi to him unlike my profile statement.
Or it’s just his style to greet other people?
This guy really something else.
Okay, but I won’t give up.
Just try, even if it only once.
Charlie : Ha-ha, please forget it that I said hi. I’ll just go back to my cave and hiding..
He’s typing.. oh my goodness.
What will he type? K, bye?
Or will he be bold and tell me to go hiding on my cave?
Geez-
Dean : No, hey.. comeback. I’ll be the one who say hi then..
Dean : Hi, Charlie!
