"Stop being so picky." Kyunghee scolded me for the thousands times.
Hi, my name is Charlie, Lee Charlie. I know it sounds weird, but long story short if I could tell you..
My very first name was Lee Jieun, but I grew up not really healthy as a kid, so my mom had an idea to change my name into something more sweet and happy. And she was randomly changed it into Charlie because it sounds funny and bubbly (according to her), so she officially and legally changed my name into Lee Charlie. It still weird to me because how could my dad didn't stop her to change my name.. I mean, he could offer any other name than Charlie, right?
Sunny? That's more lively
Hani? That's pretty
Fanny? That's good too
Still.. Here I am, Charlie.. 27 years old, working as finance staff even though I was majoring in Electrical Engineering. Ha-ha!
Please notice that forced laugh.
It's my fifth year being single, no boyfriend, experiencing non romantic relationship. It was only few dates for the past years, hang out here and there but mostly won't ended up good.
It wasn't because I'm picky and have so many criteria list, it's just... I haven't met anyone who make me brave enough to start a relationship. I wasn't ready for the drama, the jealousy, the feeling when you scares to lose someone.
What if he just want to play with your feeling?
What if he doesn't love you as much you love him?
What if he doesn't want any serious relationship further than only being a boyfriend?
Let alone that every single time I have crush on someone, he would never like me back. It's always be unrequited love at the end.
Poor me and my one sided love fate.
"I'm not picky." I sighed.
"Whatever keeps you sleep at night." She rolled her eyes, "just try some dating apps, if it won't end up as boyfriend at least you can have new friends."
"You know I'm an awkward person, I'm shy." I reasoned.
But it was true, I'm such an awkward person that ever existed. I tell only cringe jokes which will make anyone back out as soon as they hear me cracking joke.
Plus, I'm not that friendly person either. I was far from Kyunghee, she has bubbly personality, outgoing, very welcoming, guys like her.
While I'm such a weird and people tend to call me cold because my big eyes and I looked like my eyes glared too much. But trust me, once you know me, I wouldn't stop talking and joking, being so funny and then annoy you for the rest of my life.
I'm that kind of person, pleas don't sue me. It's just how I let out my affection towards people I close with.
"Just try it once, okay? Once, it won't hurt." She squeezed my shoulder gently.
"Do I really have to?"
"Yes, you have to. For fun, do not take it seriously." She wiggled her shaped eyebrows playfully.
"I'm going to uninstall it if I found it useless." I said.
"Yep, no probs! At least you tried!"
-----
I was contemplating which dating apps I should give it try, the one who safe and minor scam cases. You know, there's probably someone bad and mean trying to hunt their prey.
Do I really want this?Do I really need this?
I groaned inwardly, putting my phone back to my side then rolled over on the bed facing the wall.
Just once, it won't be that bad.
I nodded, reaching my phone and start to install the most popular yet safer dating apps.
After waited for less than two minutes to install, I opened the apps and start to fill my personal data, including choose which one of selfie I needed to put.
Scrolled, scrolled... Scrolled down on my phone gallery. Then stopped as I saw my selfie back then when I was on vacation in Pattaya beach, it was me with my black T-shirt posing in such silly but cute enough face
Not bad though.
Now it's time to put on my bio, I have to put on something that's not serious but actually serious or probably serious but not that serious.
I'm really suck at this because my shyness.
That's it, I found my bio.
A very shy person.
----
"Too serious." I swiped left, moving on to the next candidate.
This one looked good, he wore glasses, smiling confidently to the camera. He has straight hair and it was cut neatly, actually he looked good with that hairstyle. His jaw was quite noticeable, he looked stern but little bit looked so young and carefree because of his full smile, showing off his white teeth.
His name is Dean, no family name.
29 years old.
His bio said : I'm hard worker, very serious person, diligent and modest. Oh wait, this isn't job application? Lol.
"Hmm, interesting. Quite bold personality." I clicked his profile to see if there's more picture of him.
This time was his picture sitting on the bench while playing with his phone, showing off his right dimple, along with his long nose and quite tanned skin.
My heart fluttered. Is this one?
One try won't hurt.
That mantra kept ringing in my head.
So I clicked chat icon and typed the most common greetings.
Charlie : Hi~
Then quickly logged out from the apps because I’m too shy and embarrassed, lol.
What did I do?
I looked at my phone dumbfounded. It wasn’t like I against any dating apps, but joined in one of them was actually embarrassing, at least in my opinion.
Did I really that helpless and hopeless?
Too bad, it’s done. I already created the account and sent friendly chat, so no backing off.
I felt uneasy and curious, so I logged in to my account, checking if that person sent me reply.
He sent me a reply! OMG!
Nothing long but sure intriguing me to read it.
Dean : Hi, I never knew that shy person could say hello first? 😂
What. The. Heck.
Was he mocking me?
Because my profile stated that I'm shy but here I am sending hi to him unlike my profile statement.
Or it’s just his style to greet other people?
This guy really something else.
Okay, but I won’t give up.
Just try, even if it only once.
Charlie : Ha-ha, please forget it that I said hi. I’ll just go back to my cave and hiding..
He’s typing.. oh my goodness.
What will he type? K, bye?
Or will he be bold and tell me to go hiding on my cave?
Geez-
Dean : No, hey.. comeback. I’ll be the one who say hi then..
Dean : Hi, Charlie!
"You look so pale.." Seunghwa caresses your cheeks, he looks so concern.
"'m okay.." you squeeze his hand, hoping that he would let it go.
You've been away from him quite a long time, both of you ended it for good. As far you know he already moved on too, way earlier than he should be. But you couldn't stop thinking about what you saw today at restaurant, how could he—
"Baby?" Seunghwa calls you out of your over thinking pools. You sure this time he wouldn't let it go, he cups your face with both his hand, "Tell me, what is it?"
Should you tell him?
How?
"Stop zoning out.. hey, look at me." He calls again, "you're so anxious and awfully quiet since we back from dinner, did I do something wrong?"
Oh, Seunghwa..
How could he thinks he’s the one who made mistake while you’re the one who lied to him?
"You didn't do anything wrong.." you want to sound normal but your habit of fidgeting your fingers doesn’t help at all.
"And..?" He encourages you to say more, "I feel it like that sentence has to be finished?" He knows you so well, damn too well for your own good.
"Alright.." he squeezes your hand, "Whatever it is, if it's my fault.. I am so sorry. You can vent it out to me whenever you're ready, okay?" He brings your hand to his lips.
Even in this situation, Seunghwa always manage himself to be mature and sweet. You wouldn't trade him for anything in this world, you make an oath mentally.
"Feel free to throw the pillow at me, better to do it before I change my mind." He smirks earning your smile. Like.. seriously? Who can resist this guy? you can’t, Seunghwa has been always swooning you over with his charms and you couldn’t be more grateful than that. He makes you feel loved, like.. your existence only is enough for him. No one’s gonna loves you like him, only Seunghwa.
"Come here.." he opens his arms so you scoot over to snuggle closer to him while feeling guilty because your past still haunts you.
You could smell Seunghwa’s body soap as you snuggle to him, he doesn’t like to wear perfume and that’s better, because you like his smell. You should forget what you saw at the restaurant, you and him are over, you have Seunghwa and he loves you more than you feel like you deserve it.
Just then Seunghwa’s phone rings loudly, breaking you from your thoughts.
"Who the fuck—" he grumbles and moves to fish out the phone from his pocket, “sorry babe, it's work calling me. I'll be back.” He says then land a kiss on top of your head before walks away to his room.
Dean..
The ex-boyfriend who made you hardly moved on for almost two years, before you meet Seunghwa. You and Seunghwa were on dinner, it was all nice until you went to the toilet and found Dean there, standing at the hallway, waiting for you to come out from the toilet.
“Y/n..” your name slipped from his lips.
“Hi.. Dean.” It was so awkward and sudden, all you know is that Dean moved to LA five years ago and you never heard anything from him.
“Did you change your number?” he asked out of the blue. What is he doing? Suddenly appear and asking your number.
“What?”
“Just want to make sure you didn’t change your number, I want to talk to you.”
“But—” he left you no words.
“Not now, I know you’re with him.” He stated, obviously knew that you came with Seunghwa. What he actually wants?
“I should go.” Better to leave him anyway, his appearance doesn’t make any sense at all. Five years no contact and communication then he came like nothing happen, not because you still have feeling for him or whatsoever. This is just too absurd.
He didn’t stop you when you walk away, but you knew he was staring at your back.
----------------------
A loud banging on the door startling you, following by bell rings. Could it be Seunghwa’s manager? But why? You’re contemplating whether you should open the door or not, but seems like Seunghwa doesn’t even hear the bells ring.
You decided to check who’s outside before you open the door, learning from experience.
A very familiar face appears on the screen monitor, but his face looks mess.
Dean!
You rushed to open the door before Seunghwa back and everything will go uncontrollable.
"I told you—" you snap but manage to not raise your voice. Purposely out from the door, hoping you could tell him to go away and end it quickly. Then you notice his brown eyes looks weary, different than when you see him earlier. His nose is red and he smells alcohol and probably had few cigarettes too. Is he out of his mind?!
"Hear me out, baby…" He slurred, obviously the alcohol did the talking.
You decided to ignore the baby part, “Dean, you're drunk.”
“Please..” his voice cracked, those two red eyes staring at you.
"What happen?” you ask, feels like you’re actually asking on yourself just because you know Dean has no idea about what he is doing now.
He takes a breath, “I love you.” He said, then immediately curse after that, “Shit.. I know I shouldn't have said it, but that's the truth. I've been trying to move on from you, forget you, but it doesn't work.” You think he’s blabbing because he drunk but those gaze on you telling the otherwise.
What’s with this sudden confession.
“Dean, you can't—“ how are you supposed to react on this? Your boyfriend might come in any seconds catching you talk with your ex-boyfriend who decided to appear after years and confess you out of nowhere.
“I know, damn—“ he looks frustrate, “I just— I just want to let my heart out, I don't want to pretend anymore. I'm tired, I'm sick telling everyone that I'm over you. I don't want to lie to myself."
Jesus, what is this? You mentally screams in frustration.
“Babe, who's that?" Seunghwa’s voice comes behind the door, and Dean isn’t budging at all.
This is crazy.
"Who's—“ Seunghwa swings the door open and find you both. “Oh, hey man. Sorry, but can I help you?” he looks confuse but manage his best to be gentle and polite.
Dean wouldn’t go that far, right? Or should you tell Seunghwa the truth? At that moment you just want the floor break down and swallow yourself in.
"Nothing man.. I think I got wrong apartment." Dean play along, “my bad..”
Seunghwa nods then offer help, “Do you need help to find it?”
“Nah, I’m good.” Dean smiles, “I should go, sorry for disturbing.” Then he glances at me.
“Nope, that’s fine. Have a good day.” Seunghwa replies while pulling me closer to him.
“Thanks.” Just like that, Dean turns back and walks away from our sight.
Once Seunghwa and you enter the apartment, he looks at you with an expression that you’ve never seen before, “It's him, isn't it?”
“You don’t have to do this.” I said without looking at the guy who was standing in front of my door for God knows how long he was there, but I knew it wasn’t his first time for this past week he’s here. I’ve been away for almost a week since our last fight, purposely block his number. Thus being with him for almost two years, I would never expect him to be like this. It was always me who crawl back to him, begging him to take me back, to love me like his love was the only matter in my life.
“I do.” He said, taking step towards me so he’s towering me with his height. But I still refuse to look in his eyes.
“No, you don’t.” I sighed. Both of us should really stop running in circle like this.
“I want to.” His palm reached out my cheek to look at him.
“Why?” it was a question for me and him, why we have to do this? Going back and forth to love and hate?
“If I said it’s because I love you, you will think it’s my last card to take you back. But it’s not, I can love you and let you go, but I don’t want to do that. I won’t. I couldn’t. Why? Because you worth more than that damn pain of loving you.”
I could see his facial expression through his text, two jet black upward eyebrows pulled to the middle, his round eyes glaring in annoyance at the phone, impatiently. Typical Simon Dominic, or my lovely boyfriend; Jung Kiseok.
I'm still at office, can't escape. It hasn't 5 pm yet.
I typed patiently, knowing that if I get affected by his attitude, this exchanging message soon turning into exchanging glare and words war. And both of us being rock head, the fight could go for days.
Few seconds later, another message came in.
Who the fuck is working in Christmas Eve?
I shook my head in disapproval in his choice of language. Actually today is my last day to work in December, because on Christmas day until 10th of January next year I have my day off which we will spend in Japan for vacation.
Obviously me.
I hit the send button and he's typing another come back.
Geez, do you need a help to print out your resignation letter?
Rolling my eyes as response, even though he couldn't see me. I knew he was enjoying himself for pushing me on this sensitive matters.
We both already talk about this over and over.
How he hates to see me working almost everyday, staying at office for extra hours sometimes. While he can work whenever he wants to, the differences between us usually make him trying to fix things which lead to control my life.
Such as..
You don't need to work.
I can provide for both of us.
You work for shit company.
And the list could goes on and on.
This shit need to stop, babe.
I could hear his 'told you so' tone in his text, but I didn't want to give in easily.
You don't need to be an ass.
I typed, short and clear. Sending my message straight to the point, letting him know that I'm actually pissed.
Sorry, just missing you. It's suck.
There was my Kiseok, from being sassy then lovey dovey within seconds. He scheduled to go back home tonight, after long travelling for his world tour. And being clingy, control freak but lovable himself, he wanted everything go on his command.
He wanted a date night, which absolutely I wanted it too. But it hasn't even 7 pm as we planned to go, yet he already demand me to come around.
I miss you too.
I wonder whose heart won't melt when your boyfriend said he miss you?
Of course you do.
Kiseok and his full confidence were inseparable.
Whatever, I'm still working. Talk to you later 🖤
The sooner I get it done, the better.
Babe, I'm horny.
I almost choked, reading his reply. It made me blush but I knew him better, he did it on purpose to gain my attention. But I'm not buying his joke today, I need to finish my paper so I can see him on time.
"y/n, I'll go home first. Are you okay being alone?" my office mate asked.
"I still need to do this." I gestured at pile of papers on my desk, "need to sort this before holiday."
"Gosh, you're unbelievable. You can finish it after holiday, don't be hard on yourself." She scolded me, I knew that's because she cares.
"I wish I could, but I don't think I can enjoy the holiday if I didn't finish it." I had no choice, I hate being on holiday while leaving so many works to do.
"You, poor thing." She smiled apologetically, "it's only you left in the office, everyone already leaving." She added, still waiting for me to change my mind.
"Yeah, I'll finish in 30 minutes I guess." How I wish it was only 30 minutes left.
"Okay, bye y/n! Be careful!" She waved before storm out from office.
The atmosphere became so quiet suddenly as I realized I was really alone in the office.
Back on my papers and mac, I drowned myself into work for maybe more than thirty minutes, because I could feel uninvited back pain. I leaned back on my seat while checking what time it was, I was right.. it's almost an hour and my work hasn't been done.
Maybe I really need to go home and cuddle with my boyfriend? Guilty feeling creep on me, leaving Kisoek's messages on read, abandoning him for my work.
I sighed in defeated, I need to go home and apologize to him. But when I started to clean up my things and shutdown my mac, the electricity went off out of the blue.
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Did someone plan to kill me? In serial thriller, every murder usually start from electricity went off, murderer with scary mask appears while bringing out a knife.
I'm done.
I'm sorry, baby. I think I'm going to die this night.
The urge to make note to Kiseok and my family to tell them I love them was so strong, I need to make the note before I got killed but I was too scared to move even it's just an inch.
God, please save me. I beg you.. please.
Never ever in my life I prayed desperately like this.
I heard footsteps getting closer and closer to where I was.
Is this time?
I cried silently, trying my best to not making any sounds. But the scary footsteps won't stop until it reached me cubicle, making thud sound as those thick shoes bumped into my desk's leg.
Goodbye, mom and dad.
Just then, the light went on and I could hear familiar chuckle.
"What's with that face, baby?"
When I opened my eyes and looked up, there's Kiseok with his diabetic smile, grinning at me. But now words came out from me.
My mind still processing how come he suddenly here? And what for?
He walked passed my cubicle then kneeled down in front of me who still confused on my seat.
"You really need to stop watching serial killer.." he shook his head the cupped my face, "look how pale my baby, poor you.."
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice cracked due too over dramatic imaginary scene that I created several minutes ago.
He smiled as his hands move to hold my hands and squeezed them gently, "Hmm, let's say it's a suprise Cristmas eve visit?"
"I miss you, you chose work over me." He pouted, then leaned in to give me sweet kiss on the lips which I eagerly to return back in same energy.
We were so busy eating each other face until I heard someone faking a cough, and it's my dad.
"What---" I couldn't pull any words, it's confusing and overwhelming. First it's Kiseok's visit and now not only my dad, but my mom, my friends were also there. They all smiling and I don't know why.
"Right, sorry dad." Kiseok chuckled and gave my Dad thumb up before he looked at me.
"What is happening?" I asked.
He didn't say anything but pulling out small box from his pocket and showed me a beautiful ring.
Is he going--
"Merry Christmas, love.. marry me?" He said his spell, leaving my jaw dropped.
You immediately stopped digging your food when you heard someone called your name along with several loud bangs on your apartment door.
"Y/n!"
Bang bang bang
"Open this damn door!" It's his voice, you knew it. This delicious noodle suddenly felt so hard for you to swallow.
"Open this fuckin door or I'll break it!" He yelled, desperately gaining your attention.
And now you heard his docmart shoes kicking your door. Damn this thick skull guy.
"Okay, I'm going to break this stupid do-"
He stopped his sentence when you opened the door and shot him you death glare.
"What do you want?"
"Hi, can we talk?" He asked sweetly, not in cringe worthy way but he was changing his tone into more persuasive along with his innocent face. "You just did."
"Baby, come on.." he pleaded.
Wait.. Dean freaking Kwon damn Hyuk was literally pleading. But you're not going to fall for it.
"No." You said firmly and tried to close the door but he quickly restraint it with his arm.
With his red puffy eyes staring at you, "Give me a chance, just once and I won't mess it up."
I enjoy all your writings! Please continue Hello Goodbye. It's very good. Thank you!
hi, thank you for your sweetness. I intend to write Hello Goodbye, it’s just due my works and my ability to set up the mood to write recently decrease. But I will continue the story no matter what, xx
I'm here to say I'd greatly appreciate a dean pov for hello goodbye I'm loving this story so far thank you for taking time out of your day to write !
Hi there, glad that you like my new story though I noticed it doesn't get much like or comment about Hello Goodbye. Yes, I made Dean's POV so anyone could see how the story goes from three main characters. I'll probably post it on Monday, but if you have wattpad account you can read te new chapter because I posted it awhile ago. 😄
“Okay, tomorrow 7 pm?” He wiggled his eyebrows, feeling excited.
"I have tons of work.“
"Next day after tomorrow?” He suggested, you could see his eyes were sparkling in anticipation.
You shook your head slowly, a no.
"So it’s a no?“ Simon looked hurt as he stood in front of you, waiting for your answer.
You looked at his shoes which were same as yours, you bit your inner cheek, contemplating on what words you’d say. After seconds passed you looked up at him, "I’m sorry, I can’t.” You sighed,however you felt guilty for constantly rejecting his favor. Simon was your bestfriend and recently he sent you a lot of hint that he wanted to change the relationship between you two, though he knew you had boyfriend.
"It’s just a dinner, y/n. A friendly dinner, I just want to catch up things with you. You’ve been avoiding me recently and it’s frustrating.“ he purposely emphasized the word ‘friend’, to make you less burdened. He didn’t want to make everything between you and him crumbling after he declared his feeling, he did it just because he wanted you to know and you didn’t have to return his feeling.
"I know, you’re my friend. But–”
"Is it because of him?“ He sounded bitter, "you’re avoiding me because of him?” He was referring to Soohyuk, your boyfriend. Soohyuk was never fond of Simon, he hates his guts and it goes around for Simon. Both of them act civil to each other only in front of you which confusing you.
Recently your fight with Soohyuk were always about Simon, he pointed all about you and Simon, on how he would look at you when you weren’t noticed, he was too kind and overprotective for a 'bestfriend’ label, and you needed to stop hangout with Simon.
But you brushed it off, Soohyuk was acting like a jealous child and you just can’t stop talking to Simon without reason. He was your bestfriend, far before you met Soohyuk. You wanted to go but you didn’t want to make Soohyuk mad, it was hard for you and you wished Simon would understand your situation.
Shaking your head slowly, you touch his arm, “Simon, I-"
"Y/n!” Soohyuk’s voice came out of nowhere, startling you.
You turned your head to the voice source, you found your boyfriend standing with scowl and his cold eyes darting straight to Simon’s. Looking back at Simon, you noticed his body stiffened as he held his anger. You knew well how Simon’s body reacted when he’s upset.
Soohyuk walked to your direction then wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and he placed a sweet kiss on your temple, making the whole situation more awkward.
The last thing you wanted to happen was being lovey dovey with Soohyuk in front of Simon.
Not giving you chance to say a word or even bother to greeting Simon, he let out a mocking chuckle before said, “let’s go, you say want to watch movie and cuddle with me."
And it made Simon’s lips twitched, but thanks to your quick reaction, you turned to Soohyuk and nudged him to lead the way out so there would no fight and broken nose between these two.
"I have to go, I’ll call you later.” You bid goodbye to Simon, seeing his eyes held the anger, you wanted to comfort him but you couldn’t safe both of them. It hurt you too for sacrificing Simon. But once again, what you can do?
It was almost a week after last encounter between Soohyuk, Simon and you. Everything went well though Soohyuk never stop to tell you to be careful around Simon. And there you were, meeting Simon after his recording session, he insisted to meet you at your place and asking you to come at his birthday party which would be held next week.
"It’s one of my birthday wishes.“
"What?"
"I said it’s one of my birthday wishes, spending time with you even if it only eat your stupid chocolate waffles plus that ridiculous vanilla ice cream.” He let out an exasperation sigh.
"Simon, we could celebrate your birthday early.. I could throw party for you and we will having fun.“ You said, sounded more like negotiating. Simon said he wanted to celebrate his birthday only if you come and join him from the start until its ended. But too bad, because you promised Soohyuk to go to meet his parents at that date, 9th March which was also Simon’s birthday.
“Then there’s no point to celebrate anything, even in my birthday, my bestfriend won’t come. Where’s the happy in happy birthday when you’re not around?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest, he was pissed but he tried his best to not act like stupid young boy, pouting and stomping his feet for example.
"I’m so sorry, you know what the reason is.“ You almost cried, frustrating to be in this situation.
"You’re going to meet his parents, are you going to marry him?"
"No.” You replied real quick, “we never discuss about that, it’s too soon to talk about marriage and stuff.” You explained, when the other girls would be excited talking and dreaming about their wedding, you were at the other side. Sure you’re happy with Soohyuk but picturing yourself spending your life with him was never crossed in your mind, there’s something that you missed but you didn’t know what it was.
"You don’t love him.“ He mumbled, "you’re doubting your feelings to him."
Simon’s words caught you. You were battling with yourself, wondering the truth of your feelings. Was it love? Were you ever feel the spark and excitement whenever Soohyuk touches you?
Simon touched your hands, it felt warm and his touch sent multiple feelings to you. He held your hands and pulled you closer, touching your cheek, he lifted your face to meet his.
"Do you love him?” His voice sounded so gentle and there was no anger in it.
You stayed silent, nothing came out from your mouth. You looked at his eyes deeply which the more you looked at them, the deeper you drowned at his eyes. Simon has round eyes and they’re beautiful, his eyes were the most expressive, whenever he’s sad, angry, happy, all showed from his eyes.
"You know, sometimes what you think it’s good and makes you happy it’s actually not what you deserve. Sometimes you have to go deeper, ask to your heart to know the answer.“
His words were true, maybe Soohyuk was what you want but he might not the one that you needed. His thumb caressed your hand in soothing way, you didn’t know how he do it but it felt good and you liked being touched by him.
"If it’s up to me, I don’t give a damn to him and I’ll do anything to make you mine. But this is you, I give you my heart and I wish you’ll keep it, but if you didn’t want it then let me know where I stand.."
"Simon, I–” your voice cracked, you never felt unsure of your feeling before and his words were like reminder to you.
He shook his head slowly and smiled, putting his forefinger on your lips, “I don’t want the answer right now, you can think about it. If it’s me that you want, you know where I am on my birthday."
And after that you felt his lips touched your left cheek softly, he put on more seconds as if he wanted you to feel his lips against your soft cheek longer.
