got my "new" car today
it's a 1998, it's only 3 years younger than me lmao oof
gonna do some protection magic and cleansing and bindings and stuff on it tomorrow, I feel like her name is something older like tootie or something? idk lol
i wanna be relieved and excited about the car but honestly a chunk of me is just simply worried. I'm glad to be back on the road again but i'm concerned about all the issues it has already and so many quirks. apparently she'll only take 93 gas (which is fucking 4.30-ish right now and like fuck dude goddamnit i may as well still be in fucking California with those prices) and I can't let it get below 1/4 tank (but really should keep it above 1/2 tank apparently??) or it'll start acting up bc it'll start getting all dirty and stuff. hate that lol i'm a very "i've gotten further on less gas it'll be fine" kind of person. partly because i'm fuckin poor tbh lol but yk. i'll adjust I guess, especially once I have more money in my account. i'm so beyond broke right now.
that's the other thing too, I'm paying 125 weekly for this through January 2025. which is MORE per month than the last car I had which got repossessed. so i'm a bit nervous honestly.
i mean look, my team orchestrated this deal for me to begin with and I have been reassured that in time it will be fine and I can relax. so really I should just be excited, and in a way I am, really. I just also haven't quite had the time to explore the car in a positive way yet, I signed the paperwork and gave him literally all my money right before work today, barely got home and then to work on time (in fact I was 5 minutes late). and the emergency brake issue as soon as I got in my car was not the most fun experience i've ever had. like to the point that I was praying to Cernunnos and asking him if I needed to try and back out of the deal (even though i've signed paperwork and everything and it's too late now legally speaking). he reassured me of course. but yeah, so far all of my time in my new car has been full of stress. I'm sure once i've had a few days (and the money for gas and stuff) I'll feel better about everything.
anyway. it's been awhile since i've just done a thought stream blog instead of a dream post or a poem, but i'm drinking (out of celebration AND stress haha) and needed to process the acid in my gut a little bit.
(if you want to buy a tarot reading from me rn I could very much use it lolol linktr.ee/chaosandmoss )