#kyle tbt

[bcbylxn]

"i don't need your help." he spits, words dripping with venom, harsh to match the scowl on his face. they're only trying to help, can see him crumbling, but he won't have it. will push and push and push until there's no one left to watch him fall. "i'm doing just fine, thank you." green eyes roll as his gaze shifts away from them, doesn't want to admit they're right, always has been a bit too stubborn in that way.

[bcbylxn]

“or, hear me out, okay? how about you put up the tree and i sit here looking cute and warm under this blanket?”

[bcbylxn]

[ FIVE CONFESSIONS ]  bof of em

[ FIVE CONFESSIONS ]  send for five times the receiver almost says ‘i love you’ and the one time they do

ky & miles 

1. its hard not to say it, when they’re sleeping together and miles’ hands are all over him and his lips against his neck and every inch of him feels so incredibly good, but he knows he can’t the first time, not like this. 

2. kyle always falls so fast, so completely entranced with the beauty of miles first thing in the morning, sleepy smile and thick accent, messy hair and the sun shining in the room just right. the three words linger on his tongue, but he doesn’t say it.

3. the more time kyle spends with miles the more sure of it he is, that he loves miles, that they’re meant to be together, and this is all worth it. even on lazy nights when they’re curled up watching a movie, miles is running a hand along kyle’s back, he’s glad there’s popcorn to keep him from saying it. 

4. kyle has hard days at work, it’s hard working two jobs and trying to manage his schedule with miles’ schedule. he gets stuck at work, misses his show, has to take the bus to miles’ apartment after and he’s showing up with tear stained cheeks, sniffling as miles pulls him into a hug. “i’m so sorry.” he says, wants to tell miles he loves him, would never miss his show on purpose, and it wo’t ever happen again. 

5. truthfully, he’s scared to say it. he’s worried miles doesn’t feel the same way, that he’s feeling things way too fast, or that this isn’t as real for him, he doesn’t feel lucky enough to have miles, still doesn’t know why he’s with him. he can’t believe it sometimes. gets in his head too much, late at night, half asleep, he wants to tell him- has been trying to all day, but he chickens out, rolls himself over and falls asleep instead. 

& the time they do 

the next morning he’s sat on the counter, watching miles make breakfast, humming along to the music thats softly playing. he’s a dream come true, isn’t sure how he landed a guy like miles, but he really doesn’t plan on ever letting him go. as miles comes close, presses a kiss to his cheek, he stops him, grabbing his shoulder. “hey.” he says, “i love you.” he won’t deny he’s terrified, but he wants to tell him before he gets too scared again. 

jude & miles 

1. they’re goofing around, making stupid silly faces at each other because neither of them wants to go to sleep. jude sat on miles’ lap, cupping his face, tongue out and eyes crossed. he’d do anything to make him laugh. making him laugh is his favorite thing in the world. silence comes over the both of them for a moment, and jude wants to say it, but presses their lips together instead. 

2. they’re drunk and clinging to each other, stumbling back to jude’s apartment. it’s hard, a mess of limbs and giggling. even as they get to the door, miles is kissing all over him and jude is struggling with the key. “shhhh, you’re gonna get us in fucking trouble.” he squirms, finally getting the door to pop open and tugging miles in with him. no one else ever wants to have this much fun, that’s why he loves him so much. he doesn’t have time to tell him, can barely get the door shut before they’re all over each other. 

3. jude doesn’t love getting high, it makes him far too nervous, but every once in a while, it feels good, laying in bed, looking at miles, everything feels warm. every inch of him almost numb, tingling a little. he reaches out to touch miles’ face, feels his love for him overwhelming him. he wants to tell them but is interrupted by miles.  you’re so fucking high. “yeah.” he laughs, shaking his head. 

4.miles asks jude to move in with him. miles is tired of paying for an apartment when he’s on tour, jude is tired of paying for his own apartment when he spends almost every moment at miles’ place when he’s home. at first jude thinks he’s kidding. “what?” he asks, though as miles explains more, tries to convince him really, like jude would ever say no. like jude isn’t impossibly in love with him. “of course, stupid. why would i say no?

5. even when they’re fighting, jude loves him. he feels angry tears welling in his eyes because miles just isn’t listening. he’s not listening to what jude is trying to say, grabbing his things and shoving his shoes on. “what miles? you want to walk out, get fucking high, forget about me?” he accuses. miles wont’ hear him out, he won’t let him explain, is too pissed off to talk about it anymore. “fine.” jude loves him so much, even as he’s walking out the door. 

& the time they do. 

time and time again they fight, they split, only to come back and apologize. this time is different. this time they’re both too damn tired for this. too stubborn. jude hasn’t come home in days, been staying away, staying with jamie. he knows he’s too weak to stay away. they’ve been talking for hours, and at this point they're both cried, screamed, and now jude is silently packing the rest of his things. “i don’t- i don’t want to do this, you get that right?” he says, finally looking at him. his bottom lip trembles and his hands shake at his sides. he wants to stay, but he doesn’t need anyone else to tell him he can’t. he knows it. he knows he’s got to go before they hurt each other even worse. “i love you miles, more than anything, but we’re going to kill each other if we keep this up. we’ve tried for months to make it work and we’re worse off than where we started.” 

[bcbylxn]

[ FIVE CALLS ] okay hear me out but this for kyle and ev in either verse

[ FIVE CALLS ]  send for five times the receiver nearly calls the sender and the one time they do.

1. kyle is at a party, was so sure evangeline would be there, they’d talked about it for days. he’s looking everywhere for her, can’t find her anywhere. he’s about to call her when he feels a tap on his shoulder. he spins around to meet her eyes and he’s grinning, glad he’s not here alone. 

2. another time he’s high out of his mind, has decided ev is the prettiest girl he’s ever seen, needs to call her to tell her, doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. luckily for her sleep and his dignity, his phone is dead. 

3.  the third time he’s bumped into azriel and talked to him for an hour without realizing it. he’d come looking for evangeline, fell into conversation, can’t help but flirt with him and lean in close. he wants to call and tell her, but then realizes she probably doesn’t want to hear about how hot kyle thinks her brother is. 

4. another time he’s trying to get high, doesn’t have the money. he’s tried everything he can, thinks about calling ev and asking if she has anything. he’s about to when he gets a message back from an old dealer, will front him if he makes it worth his time. he’s done worse for less, he decides, makes plans for that and doesn’t bother her for the night. 

5. another time he goes on a date, and it goes so terribly awful he wants to call his best friend and tell her all about it. only he sees her recent post, knows she’s out with azriel. decides to keep it to himself, could always tell her another time.

 & the time they do 

“hey. are you- where are you?” he asks, stumbling over his words a bit once evangeline finally answers his call. “i’m... fine. yeah. ‘m.. well...” he sighs a bit, running  a hand through his hair anxiously. “not.. not great. it’s like, i don’t know? you ever been so high you’re like worried about being alone? like i’m okay, right, like i’m fine, but i’m home alone and i don’t know if i should like.. i was going to go hookup with this guy but i don’t know... you know?” he’s rambling, words slurred a bit, too out of it to make much sense. “you wanna hang out instead?”

[bcbylxn]

“ hey… no tears, alright? this isn’t goodbye. “ miles for kyle

that was easy for miles to say. it sure felt like goodbye. he knew this was coming, it was his job, after all. he had to go tour, that’s the whole point. that doesn’t make it any easier. he’s trying really hard to be supportive, put on a smile and be helpful. helped pack his bag, load everything up, get everything taken care of.  that doesn’t stop his eyes from welling up with tears when they’re all finished and it’s time for him to leave. “i know.” he says, a bit embarrassed as he looks away, wiping his cheeks. he supposed the first time was going to be the hardest, has no experience with it. “i just miss you already.” kyle admits, tugging miles into a hug, letting himself cry a bit against his chest. 

[bcbylxn]

[ FIVE CONFESSIONS ] 

send for five times the receiver almost says ‘i love you’ and the one time they do. KYLE & TRIS 

1. the first time they’re fucking at some party kyle has begged and begged to go to. everything feels amazing the only thing that stops him is tristan’s hand over his mouth that’s trying to keep him quiet.  

2. the second time he wants to say it, he’s high out of his mind, tris’ hand is carding through his hair as they talk and he has to kiss him to keep himself from saying it. 

3. the third time he picks kyle up after work got a little rough, takes him hope and helps him shower, gets him all cleaned up, gives him something to make the pain stop. he’s so gentle with him and doesn’t say anything about the bruise that’s forming on his face. kyle wants to say it, wants to say a lot of things, but he sits quietly and lets tris take care of him. 

4. kyle’s drunk off his ass, throwing up in tris’ toilet after insisting he can so go shot for shot with tris. tris isn’t mad, just holds his hair out of his face, rubs gentle circles on his back. sure, he gives him shit for it, but he’s there. he wipes kyle’s face with a cold rag and he’s sure of it. kyle loves him. he’s just not sure how to say it.  

5. it gets harder and harder to keep it in, to stop those three words from coming from his lips. everything tris does is amazing, has never found someone who felt like home. it’s late, curled up against tris, head on his chest. it’s mostly quiet, just their breathing filling the silence of the room. he wants to say it, tell tris just how much he means to him but he’s scared to break this moment, instead settles for squeezing him a bit tighter and sighing happily. some other time. 

and the time he does 

it’s probably stupid for it to happen like this, kyle could think of a thousand other ways he wants this to go, but he’s always been a bit messy, can’t help as the words slip past him. “no tris, i’m not just going to drop it. i don’t want to do this anymore, this stupid we’re just fucking bullshit. i’m over here almost every night, i’m not fucking anyone else, and i know you aren’t either, so i don’t know why you insist on pushing me away every fucking chance you get. i’m not going anywhere. i love you.” as soon as he says it he wishes he hadn’t, hates being the one to put everything out and hope it’s reciprocated. hates that he’s said it while they’re arguing, hates that he’s not even sure if tris feels the same way. “and i-i think you love me too. and if i’m wrong, that’s- whatever. i just need to know. and i needed you to know. i’m not... i’m not just fucking around. i care about you.” 

[bcbylxn]

# miles & kyle , and also miles & jude 😘

miles & kyle 

send me “#” for cell phone headcanons about our muses including:                              - what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone: miles 🥵😘 - what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone

- what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone : definitely one of his songs or a recording of him playing he’s miles’ #1 fan - my muse’s last text to your muse: i miss you 🥺 you have lunch plans?  miles & jude 

send me “#” for cell phone headcanons about our muses including:                              - what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone: royal pain in my ass  - what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone : 

- what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone: default hes never changed it before (he totally knows how) - my muse’s last text to your muse: smoke??? 

[bcbylxn]

# for kyle and anakin <3

sTOP this was so fun i’m-

send me “#” for cell phone headcanons about our muses including:  - what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone : 😍    drug daddy                        - what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone: 

- what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone:  i just know it’s the imperial march he’s a huge star wars nerd he so would lmao   - my muse’s last text to your muse: come pick me up? i’ll make it worth your time 😏