#kyxsoulmate

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Me and King are talking about multiverse and past lives and basically we've both admitted we know for a fact that if there are versions of us that didn't meet those versions of us were not happy and had very dark lives.

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it's official me and @girlstalkkings share the same brain cell (also fun fact our gc pic is from the video of r&l saying that hence the gc name)

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So Nic sent a video of her holding a spider ring and jokingly saying "Will you marry me?" and well:

I legit diyed a spider engagement ring so OoH

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me trying to teach King how tumblr works is so funny omg 

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My Best Friend

So I’ve mentioned a few times now that Rhink fanfic helped me realize I might be a little head over heels in love with my best friend. But Rhett and Link themselves helped me realize how even more valuable this friendship is. Growing up my best friend was, let’s call him Champ. Champ was the first friend I really ever made. I had started a Christian home school co-op that met on fridays. I’ve always been super shy so I had made a fort in the corner of the first - third grade class room out of the reading time mats. It was this little box that I spent most of the morning in. No one bothered me or cared to befriend the weird kid in the fort that was crying and scared. But Champ did bother. He ripped the “door” open and said “Hi I’m Champ and you seem to need a friend.” After that we were inseparable. Until my family left the co-op for personal reasons and his mother basically banned us from seeing each other. We’re back in touch now that he’s in college but it’s not the same? There’s years of catching up that we just can’t seem to do. 

Anyway not the point. The point is seeing Rhett and Link and the friendship they have, it’s made me realize how special what i have with Nicole is. With her it was easy to keep conversation. She never made me feel pressured to tell her things. Then when I came out as genderfluid and asked to be called Skylar and use They/Them pronouns. Well she instantly made the switch. I’ve asked her if that was hard at all and she told me “No, it’s who you are and to me calling you by your name is what was easy. So if your name is Skylar then there shouldn’t be any confusion or struggle to call you by your name. Even if it’s not what you went by when we first started talking you’ve always been Skylar.” Which made me break down crying. My family struggles with it and have really only just started calling me Sky. So for someone to accept me without question was so important to me. 

We started talking more and I don’t think we’ve ever gone more than 24 hours without talking. Well other than the one time I’m not comfortable going into right now. But watching Rhett and Link has shown me that not every friendship is like what I have with Nicole. That what we have takes a lot of trust and communication to have built. Sure we’ve only had five, six on December third, years to build it to where we are now. Which isn’t a lot compared to Rhett and Link’s 35. But it’s just as important and strong. We listen to each other, we ask questions and respect each other. When I came out she welcomed me with open arms. When she came out as bi I welcomed her just as she did me. There’s not really fights because we always talk through any small disagreements without conflict or name calling. The only two fights we’ve ever had were over the proper way to make mac n’ cheese. 

Since the start of our friendship the one thing we’ve dreamed of doing is moving to LA. it was London but we realized that may be a little harder than LA, and starting a YouTube channel together. Long before I watched Rhett and Link we had these big dreams I wasn’t sure we could ever achieve. Then I saw these two dorky men that met in first grade had built this life together in LA and we’re living their dream of making something amazing together. That’s when something clicked in my brain, “Their friendship is like mine with Nicole. They found a way to make it work. That means we can too.” It’s when I finally realized that no dream was too big when I have Nicole by my side to help me get there. 

This is long and you probably could care less but it’s just something I wanted to write out. She means a lot to me and I know I mean a lot to her. Together we’re going to do some amazing stuff and I know that no matter the hoops we have to jump through, we’ll be okay. 

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I might be playing with fire but she hasn't seen it yet so.....

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flashback to like mid 2018 when me and nic had a role-play where we were famous YouTubers and we went on GMM with Nick Kroll and John Mulaney .....yes I exposed our crackhead role-play just to say that we made this happen just by THINKING about it constantly.

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nic telling that person that maybe in the future they could be something more than friends in person and me sitting here trying to help without letting jealously be the one doing the talking was the equivalent of being trapped in a glass box being forced to listen to nails on a chalkboard.