#kyx rant

[kyxgrey]

My Best Friend

So I’ve mentioned a few times now that Rhink fanfic helped me realize I might be a little head over heels in love with my best friend. But Rhett and Link themselves helped me realize how even more valuable this friendship is. Growing up my best friend was, let’s call him Champ. Champ was the first friend I really ever made. I had started a Christian home school co-op that met on fridays. I’ve always been super shy so I had made a fort in the corner of the first - third grade class room out of the reading time mats. It was this little box that I spent most of the morning in. No one bothered me or cared to befriend the weird kid in the fort that was crying and scared. But Champ did bother. He ripped the “door” open and said “Hi I’m Champ and you seem to need a friend.” After that we were inseparable. Until my family left the co-op for personal reasons and his mother basically banned us from seeing each other. We’re back in touch now that he’s in college but it’s not the same? There’s years of catching up that we just can’t seem to do. 

Anyway not the point. The point is seeing Rhett and Link and the friendship they have, it’s made me realize how special what i have with Nicole is. With her it was easy to keep conversation. She never made me feel pressured to tell her things. Then when I came out as genderfluid and asked to be called Skylar and use They/Them pronouns. Well she instantly made the switch. I’ve asked her if that was hard at all and she told me “No, it’s who you are and to me calling you by your name is what was easy. So if your name is Skylar then there shouldn’t be any confusion or struggle to call you by your name. Even if it’s not what you went by when we first started talking you’ve always been Skylar.” Which made me break down crying. My family struggles with it and have really only just started calling me Sky. So for someone to accept me without question was so important to me. 

We started talking more and I don’t think we’ve ever gone more than 24 hours without talking. Well other than the one time I’m not comfortable going into right now. But watching Rhett and Link has shown me that not every friendship is like what I have with Nicole. That what we have takes a lot of trust and communication to have built. Sure we’ve only had five, six on December third, years to build it to where we are now. Which isn’t a lot compared to Rhett and Link’s 35. But it’s just as important and strong. We listen to each other, we ask questions and respect each other. When I came out she welcomed me with open arms. When she came out as bi I welcomed her just as she did me. There’s not really fights because we always talk through any small disagreements without conflict or name calling. The only two fights we’ve ever had were over the proper way to make mac n’ cheese. 

Since the start of our friendship the one thing we’ve dreamed of doing is moving to LA. it was London but we realized that may be a little harder than LA, and starting a YouTube channel together. Long before I watched Rhett and Link we had these big dreams I wasn’t sure we could ever achieve. Then I saw these two dorky men that met in first grade had built this life together in LA and we’re living their dream of making something amazing together. That’s when something clicked in my brain, “Their friendship is like mine with Nicole. They found a way to make it work. That means we can too.” It’s when I finally realized that no dream was too big when I have Nicole by my side to help me get there. 

This is long and you probably could care less but it’s just something I wanted to write out. She means a lot to me and I know I mean a lot to her. Together we’re going to do some amazing stuff and I know that no matter the hoops we have to jump through, we’ll be okay. 

[kyxgrey]

So as is the mood of the day. Friendly reminder to not assume someone’s trauma or past. There is never a reason to do so. No one’s pain is any greater or lesser than anyone else’s. All pain is equal. That said just because someone won’t flat out tell you their pain when trying to make a point that is not an invitation to pull the “In My Shoes” card on them. Trigger warnings are important, I don’t care if it’s for flashing lights or a razor blade necklace someone was wearing. If someone specifically asks you to tag a trigger from a post you’ve made do it. It doesn’t take but two seconds, if that, to add the warning they’ve asked for. Being respectful of other’s triggers isn’t going to cause you any pain. 

Be respectful of this in real life too, not just online. Think long and hard about what common triggers are and avoid them in conversations or simply ask the person if they are comfortable with the topic. If someone pops into a conversation with you and someone else then the topic switches and they become uncomfortable, stop talking. Change it to a more neutral conversation topic. Be mindful that you may be comfortable with something but someone else may not be. It’s not hard to do this either. It’s not at all hard or a burden to just respect people and their triggers without having to ask why. In the case the person decides to explain why, listen to them, find out how you can help them in social situations if someone brings up the topic at random. Shut down someone who is talking about a trigger of your friend in a nice gentle way. Softly change the topic to something different without being cruel. Unless your friend asks you to flat out state why the topic needs to change don’t bring it up as their trigger. Some people prefer to hide triggers in social places to make everyone else more comfortable. So if you know a friends triggers make an attempt to help them exist in the space in comfort.

Above all else; Remember that your triggers are valid, whatever they may be. That your pain is not less important than anyone else’s. You deserve to be listened to when you mention these thing. Deserve to be taken seriously. This is long and I’m sorry but I want you all to know that I care deeply about things like this. Mental health is never a joke and should never be seen as one. 

<3 

[kyxgrey]

Someone on Twitter just compared Mythical to Defy and I'm about to go off. They said it solely because Noah said it was up to fans to be vocal if they wanted him in more SMOSH Pit videos. Like something tells me that isn't a Mythical desicion it's a SMOSH as a group working together one. It's common knowledge that SMOSH fans all seem to want Ian, Damien, Shayne, and Courtney in videos and are more vocal on that. Besides it's not like Noah and the others aren't in the SMOSH sketchs anymore they just aren't on SMOSH Pit as much. They still work there the people have just made it clear who they want to see do things other than the skits. Mythical isn't anything like Defy Media was and it makes me so angry anyone would jump straight to saying that based on a simple true fact that practically every large YouTube channel adheres to because of views and ratings.

[kyxgrey]

Being here is making me realize that despite how difficult it is for me not remembering how to do certain schoolwork that the struggle is worth it. Growing up I was that kid that talked about college all the time. I had such grand plans foy future, I wanted to graduate and get my GED at 16. (Homeschooling in Georgia isn't acerdited so you have to take the GED)but I started having seizures and now I don't remember stuff, can't even do simple fractions without having a meltdown from how frustrating it is to not remember something I was getting A's in three years ago. But being here and looking out the window at the campus I'm overwhelmed with how much I want to still make it to that point. How much I want to stop beating myself up over not graduating at 16 because of an unforeseen bump in the road I can't control. I think part of me gave up in the idea I could do this when I got so bad when the reality is if I stop making excuses of "it's too late my plan was screwed up I'm never gonna get there now" that I CAN get here with hard work.