i genuinely think jester is so pressured as just like. a person
imagine being him,,, he's like the second youngest too and depending on when the story happened in his life he could've been like. a very young adult to his species so his emotional skills and such are probably majorly fucked up from it.
i don't know if this might be projection but like i mentioned in the tags of another post, i don't think the circus seeing him as a leader figure is healthy for him. i've had adults rely and depend on me when i was a kid and even though he's an adult, he's still younger than them and that shit was distressing. even now i struggle with dealing with my emotions because of the responsibilities i shouldn't have had. i might be projecting but,,, jester...oh my goddd.
being admired on that level does not contribute to someone's ability to feel at all. speaking from experience, and i don't think this is true for him, but i was genuinely despised when i was younger by others for constantly being put on the same level he was. i would not be surprised if his backstory had that to some extent.
yes i think their ages are significant. there's something there too with harlequin being somewhat scapegoated and him being the youngest but i need to look into it further.
this all might be projection? jester stabs me in the heart again and again and i just have to talk about it. i have to. and i need to make this clear that the mommy joke has a point. if someone actually called him that in-universe i think he'd genuinely feel trapped for the rest of the day. and then panic in his own private area later because he strikes me as The Repressor Ever.
jeeesterrr...oh my goddd...
this comes from the perspective of someone who's been the youngest of a lot of groups when they were a kid and who is considerably fucked up about all the 'younger people/siblings/everything get it better' stuff and likes to read into it. please bear with me.
edit: cough something can be taken from him taking the first step after columbina's death too because imagine being him. one of your friends (i'm assuming younger than him due to info we got about the age order and her being closer to harlequin in that order) just died and the people around you are despairing, no one's taking that step, even people who are older than you and people you should look to, so your hand feels like it's being forced to do something.
photo below is also my post, i do think the part about personal control being rocky and sporadic applies to him pre-circus. if i weren't sleep deprived i'd phrase this better trust.
