Hi again!! Wow it's really cool that you do take requests, but first off, the L fic you wrote recently was really nice❤❤I can't wait for part 2!!
As for my request, could I request an angst/fluff with L where both the reader and he like each other, but he doesn't want to confess bc he doesn't think love is his cup of tea. And then they get into an argument or sth, which results in reader growing a tad bit distant from him. He ends up missing them more than he had thought he would, and when he can't bear it (or when he fears almost losing them, say bc of Kira or to another person), he finally confesses?
I hope it wouldn't be too much of a bother❤❤
💚|PLS THANK U FOR THIS
🐸|and it's no problem at all!! ive got way too much time on my hands lately so :D
🐢|this story does mention blushing? and ik i have some dark-skinned readers out there, like me lol, so feel free to just ignore that. i was only trying to make it cute lol;)
🍀|anyways i hope u like it reader! <33
・❥・・❥・・❥・
He knew you were fond of him.
It had been a couple of months, and at first you had tried to hide it. But the signs were getting more obvious; the little hiccups here and there in your usual behavior.
You fiddled more with your tie around him, you didn't really make eye contact as firmly as you used to. He'd noticed the little smiles that would appear on your lips whenever he was nearby and the way your cheeks flushed a dainty shade of pink whenever he spoke to you.
And to be honest- it was pathetic.
Your attempts to hide it had been pathetic. The way you had started to act around him was pathetic. Every time you blushed, or fidgeted, or lowered your eyes, he found it pathetic. Your even developing feelings for someone you were working with was pathetic. L should never had started feeling the way about you that he did.
But no- L liked you. Loved you, even. He had noticed it in the longer gazes at you than usual, the slight but strange sensation in the pit of his stomach whenever you smiled at him or laughed at his sarcastic quips (when you didn't match them with a smart-ass remark of your own)-dare he say- butterflies? At times, he'd find himself turning away from you to hide the own dusting of red across his almost white cheeks. His toes curled tighter when you blew by him and his heart rate slightly picked up.
He was just as pitiful as you were.
He didn't know why, or how- which drove him mad; he could solve cases the FBI couldn't, figure out solutions to problems even the most advanced thinkers couldn't, and yet he was completely unable to comprehend how he had fallen for you, he couldn't figure out something as seemingly simple as love. How had you, and you alone, managed to jilt him so much that he often spent several minutes idly staring at his computer, the only thoughts running through his head of you? Your beauty, your determined and unyielding personality- even the way you moved was mesmerizing.
He was a methodical person, too much so to be thinking like this. You were a waste of time. Love was a waste of time. L was a detective. This was not a fitting role for him.
But the subtle longing for you, deep in his chest- it was beginning to grow a bit difficult to contain. L had never once felt like this before for anybody. Sometimes, he found himself wanting to hold you, to caress you and feel your soft lips on his own.
He was going out of his mind.
L would simply have to push those feelings for you aside, in the back of his head- until they dissolved, and he could feel like himself again. They couldn't be that much of a threat- could they? But how long would that take? And did he even want to do that?
Well, what else was L to do? He was certainly never going to confess- that was suicide. To his ego, anyway. Even if you did like him back- no. Absolutely not. And what about-
"Ryuzaki?"
L's train of thought crashed as he snapped out of them to see you, a few feet in front of him, staring at him with a puzzled look on your face. "Are you alright?"
L opened his mouth to speak- but the words seemed to get jammed in his throat for a second or two before coming out. "Yes, I'm alright? Why do you ask?" He cleared his throat and hugged his knees tighter to his chest, trying to regain his composure. Agh. He needed to get rid of you, or this attraction to you, somehow.
"Well, it's just, you've been staring at me for a while now. I'm guessing you were just spaced out, but I thought I'd check."
There it was- the blush. L let his eyes rest on your rosy cheeks for a bit before looking up to meet your gaze again. "Yes, I suppose I was a bit preoccupied. My apologies, Y/N." And before you could see L's face heat up, he quickly turned away and resumed furiously typing on his computer, despite losing track of what he was actually doing.
Damn.
There were several more interactions like these in the weeks that followed this one- always ending in one or the other losing their composure regardless of their attempts to conceal it or prevent it.
And L was slowly losing it.
How were you so- so- maddening? And yet addicting? Without even doing anything? And why was this so hard to figure out? The question was so damn simple. Why was L in love with you?
But, still no answer came. The flutters in his stomach had turned into near nausea whenever you talked to him, touched him slightly- and that idiot blush of yours. It was wretched how much he adored how flustered you grew around him. The sheer emotional attachment he felt to you was actually angering.
Again he was mulling over these things in his swivel chair, working tirelessly as usual. It was late at night and the members of the task force had gone home to their families. Only you and L were left at the headquarters, and you were preparing to leave.
L did not look over at you as you stood up, slinging your classy black bag over your shoulders and pushing your chair in neatly beneath the table. He heard you sigh a little before he felt you pass him, make your way behind him. Involuntarily, L felt his body stiffen upon feeling your body behind him.
"Alright, Ryuzaki- I'll be heading home now. I think perhaps you should start wrapping things up, too... it isn't healthy to be up this late every day." The tips of your fingers brushed his shoulder lightly- and L tensed so much his shoulders rose up to his ears.
The dam was breaking.
"Please, do not touch me," L told you. His words were somewhat choppy and tone sharp- and his icy demeanor surprised you, and you withdrew your hand as if L was a hot pan handle.
"I'm... sorry," you mumbled, clenching the fist you had touched L with beside your hip. "Look, are you really okay or-"
"Y/N, I am fine. Please, refrain from asking me this again- I have never given you much of a reason to believe I am not fine. Just go home, alright?"
You tilted your head, your eyebrows furrowing and your face contorting with displeasure. "L. I'm only trying to help." Why was he behaving like this? You hadn't done him any harm- and lately, you had even been starting to think that he was beginning to reciprocate your romantic feelings for him- finding small pieces of evidence in his behavior and body language. But maybe you'd been mistaken?
"You aren't being much help." L continued to face away from you. He wasn't even typing at this point, making it evident he was just trying to ignore you.
You exhaled shortly before looking down at the ground. This wasn't something you intended on taking.
"L-"
"Ryuzaki."
"Why are you acting like this?" Your tone was more appalled than irritated- although you were very much starting to feel like that. "I'm not trying to be a nuisance."
"Acting like what?"
Was he kidding right now?
"You know-"
"I don't." L's tone was emotionless and bland, his dark eyes still focused on the still screen in front of him.
Without thinking, you snatched the back of L's swivel chair, incensed. He wasn't even letting you finish your sentences- you had no clue why you two were even having this dispute, but L wasn't about to get away with this behavior.
Roughly, you spun him around to face you directly, the chair creaking as it was swiftly pulled, and L emitted a grunt of surprise when his stoic face met yours.
You held him there, breathing a little ragged, before your expression fell and your eyes lowered. This was pointless, and you weren't in the mood. If L didn't want to talk to you, he didn't want to talk to you. There was very little you could do about that.
"Mm." You made a noise under your breath before releasing L's chair. He did not turn back around, instead peering after you as you walked quietly out of the door, not speaking any more.
╰┈➤
It had been almost a week since L and you had had your little fight, and L had noticed quite a shift in your behavior. You spent your time mostly dealing with the field work on the case rather than digital tasks with L. You didn't talk to him but rather Light, sometimes joking around with Matsuda. Nobody else on the task force seemed to notice the rift between you and L- at least you two were doing a good job of hiding it.
You yourself were just confused. Why had L lashed out at you like that? It was unlike him, especially unprovoked. And you had only been trying to get him to actually take care of himself for once- you didn't appreciate the thanks you received. There was no reason for him to act like that.
Your initial thoughts were ones of annoyance and contempt- but beneath the surface you were hurt- and equally mad at yourself for being hurt. The anger was gone, replaced with something that didn't feel like much of anything. You weren't supposed to be this person, the one who got all worked up and lovesick over tiny things. Maybe you were overreacting- it had been over a week since the interaction anyway and here you were acting like a lovesick schoolgirl.
Maybe you weren't thinking logically enough.
L could have talked to you the way he did because it was a bad day- after all, working twelve plus hours on a serial killer case wasn't exactly a picker-upper. And he was just being L- it wasn't like he was going to get up and hug you goodbye.
Wow. Now you were making excuses.
Idiot.
You had never had much patience for those who behaved inexplicably and rudely. Even if it was only one instance, you had instantly reacted with coldness, pushing that person away from you.
Damn. You were just too infatuated with L for you to feel that way. It was as simple as that, and all of this thinking was just a lame attempt to divert from that fact.
No- you had to push L away. It was the only way to eliminate all these useless and crowding thoughts from your brain. You were trying to investigate a mass murderer, for goodness' sake, and here you were whining about L? Because of a stupid crush? You were getting more and more disgusted with yourself.
Pushing him away was the only option- that would be your final verdict. Keep up what you were already doing- it wasn't like the stony detective would care.
As if he truly cared for anyone- let alone you.
╰┈➤
It had been a few more days since Y/N had spoken to L about something other than work. It was clear you were still upset with him- you were projecting all over the place, which was only obvious to L. Frankly, he was repulsed by your lack of effort to conceal this- you were really this hung up over him? Over an interaction where at most two full sentences were exchanged? Ridiculous. It had been your fault, anyway.
You were just too distracting. Everything you did made him feel things that he definitely wasn't used to. It had all just built up and he had let it out in an uncharacteristic manner- but it was your fault.
And- now here he was, missing you. That much was true. With you continuously going out of your way to avoid him, L definitely wasn't around you as often as he used to. And he missed you- he missed your half-smile, he missed catching a whiff of your floral scent as you brushed by him, he even missed the sound of your typing beside him.
Damn you. You were throwing him all off- turning him against himself. L was not this man- and love had always been a foreign concept to him. But, of course, it only made him fall for you more. Because it was you.
You were driving L out of his mind.
And now, with the increasing possibility that Light Yagami was Kira, who was working with you and L, the chance of losing you was higher as well. And that- that was something L couldn't stand.
He couldn't stand the thought of losing you. No, you were simply not allowed to leave. He was not going to permit you to make him feel such a way and then just disappear. Which meant he wasn't going to allow you to ignore him any longer.
You were done being evasive. L was going to just have to make you his.
╰┈➤
"Y/N-san- would you mind speaking with me for a minute?"
The day was over, and once again, it was only you and L left inside headquarters. You were just about to turn the doorknob and leave before the sound of L's low voice stopped you before you could open the door.
You stood still for a few seconds, hand still on the doorknob, not turning around, deciding whether you actually wanted to talk to him. Then, you sighed and shut the door.
Might as well.
"Come here."
The order sent a small chill through your body- but nonetheless, you slowly moved toward L until you stood over his hunched figure in the chair, him peering up at you as if he was waiting for something. You stared down at him, your gaze stony and apathetic. You just weren't in the mood and more or less just wanted to go home.
"I understand you've been upset with me since our last talk," L said, voice bland and monotone as usual.
You only nodded, not sure of how to respond. Where was this going?
"I thought perhaps... I owed you an explanation." Now L dropped his gaze in an aberrant display, wriggling his bare toes on the seat of his chair. He actually seemed timid- and while L had always been reserved, timid had never really been a word you used to describe him.
A little caught off guard, you blinked and your eyes softened, relaxing from their narrowed position. "Yes, I think you do," you told him, unsteadily trying to maintain a stern tone. Well, this was unexpected. L's ego never allowed him to believe he owed anybody anything.
L sighed, still not quite meeting your gaze. "I'm... not quite sure why I snapped at you the way I did. I know you meant no harm. And it was immature of me to not apologize for it sooner." He was still looking at the ground, wriggling his toes. "I hope you are able to accept my apology.'
Another blink from you- what were you supposed to say to this? Now you were just even more perplexed. But- L had apologized..
"It's alright. I accept your apology," you replied carefully.
"The truth is... I'm actually quite fond of you."
What?
Your face dropped as a surge of what was either adrenaline or seratonin rushed through your veins. "You are?"
A pause.
"Yes, I am. I have been for... some time now." L slowly lifted his head- eyes now wide. "I know this is odd for me. But..." he trailed off, suddenly losing the words. How was he supposed to sum up everything he'd been feeling for you? It was just too great for him to even try to put them into words.
Perhaps, he thought, he would have to settle for something simpler.
"I love you."
・❥・
🍃|*evil laughter* and here i leave you with that >:) may you never find out what happens next.
🌵|ANYWAYS i hope u liked this!! thanks sm for requesting<3 ily!!
