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There’s some fear in letting go...

There are days that I feel more optimistic, and others that pessimism beats me. It hurts, but that makes me feel more human. I have a little mirror always near with me and there are days that I like what I look and makes me fall in love again. Others that I can't stop asking it questions. Today is one of those pessimistic days, even though the sun is calling me out the window. One of those days when thoughts revolve around the same thing and occupy every empty space they find. I don't want to give in to those thoughts, not anymore. Today I woke up feeling in first hand the essence of this Sunday. Of those that return in the form of memories. Sometimes they come back in the form of songs, conversations. They are instants. But projecting and thinking about "new ways of doing" makes me feel better. Every little step I do feels like a triumph and is making me get close to my goals. A cup of tea comforts me, is a warm caress. I try to go slowly, listening to my needs and understanding what is happening inside. Last night I saw one of the last Twin Peaks chapters and without realizing it, in Lady Log's speech there was a phrase that stucked in me. For my surprise the episode was titled the same way. There was a lot of Lynch essence in this episode and I feel very proud of myself, that after so many years I have decided to start watching his universe. I always was curious, but I guess it just wasn't the right time. It was now, not before. As I always say... it is never late, everything comes at the right time. And maybe this is saving me now. Goodbye Margaret.