#ladymidnightwrites

[midnightmoonwriting-blog]

The future

I have been feeling like this for a while, or, to be more specific, I have been feeling like this my whole life and lately, I have been noticing it. What am I doing? I don't like what I'm studying. I feel like I'm not doing what I want. I feel like what they teach me in college it's useless, that I'm wrong. You see, I used to want to become a writer. I still want. I love writing. I love words. The way they form a perfect, beautiful sentence. I would love to write plays and watch them been performed. I also love taking pictures and editing them, I enjoy making aesthetics about stuff that I like. But that's more like a hobby. But, furthermore, I love English. I am studying the advanced level, also known as C1. And I also love French, Korean, Japanese, Norwegian. . . I love languages. So I really want to study something like that. . . What I'm sure I don't want to study are those stupid subjects they impose you at college. But it's not like I can stop studying them now, can I? I don't even know what I can study or what I actually want. I need guidance but I'm afraid to ask for it.

[midnightmoonwriting-blog]

I need time

Sometimes I feel like I want to do a lot of things but I don’t have the time for everything.

Roleplaying, writing, watching TV shows and videos, reading, studying, going out, hanging​ out with friends, dancing…

There are a million things I want to do, but I only have time to do a few.

So, of course, I always end up not doing some things: I don’t study, I don’t go out, I don’t dance or meet friends.

And, because I’m a masochist, I try to get everything done and keep going, thinking I will be able to do it, that I will be able to finish everything and nothing bad will happen.

I carry on doing everything I can the whole day, and the next day I try to do the same. But I can feel it, you know?

I’m tired. I feel like doing nothing, even though I know I still have a million things to do, I do nothing.

I just can’t.

I feel like lying on bed and staring at the ceiling, without thinking, without worrying.

And I hate it.

[wellickwrites-blog]

[carrie/shane] “Don’t say another word. Just sit down, shut up, and listen.”

“No, Carrie. No, you listen. If you hate it here so much... no one is making you stay, alright? That goes for all of you. No one is making you stay!”

[wellickwrites-blog]

[violet/louis] ”Wardo died hours ago.”

“No... no he didn’t. You don’t get it, Vi. I would’ve felt it. I would’ve fuckin’ known. I know him inside and out and I’d fuckin’ know if he wasn’t here anymore. He’s reckless but he’d never leave me. He loves me. He’d never leave me, not on purpose. N-not... he wouldn- don’t fuckin’ look at me like that. Don’t you feel sorry for me. Where is he, Vi?”

[wellickwrites-blog]

[violet/louis] [text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE

[TEXT] BA BA BA[TEXT] GOOD TIMES NEVER SEEMD SO GOOD[TEXT] SO GOO D[TEXT] SO GOOD[TEXT] SO GOiOD[TEXT] let’s drunk kareokie (hard wod to spell whilst drunk??O) together always i loveyou violet

[wellickwrites-blog]

[elijah/louis] [text] The least you could have let me done was tell my side of the story to Wardo, you asshole.

[text] What side of the story was there to give?[text] You kissed me back.[text] Now he’s mad at both of us.[text] Fuckin’ hurts, don’t it?

[wellickwrites-blog]

[violet/bea] [text] angelica says she likes me better than you. so i'm holding this over you 4ever

[text] THIS ISN’T FAIR[text] LIKE IT’S LITERALLY NOT A FAIR FIGHT[text] SHE CAN’T PUT ME IN THE RUNNING W THE GIRL WHO HAS SEX WITH HER[text] LIKE HOW AM I EVER GONNA WIN THAT ONE[text] i’m frustrated screaming rn, violet. frustrated screaming.

[wellickwrites-blog]

[carrie/eddie] are you and felix official yet?

[text] nah[text] he knows i wanna be[text] just can’t right now[text] it’s pure shit[text] but you get that