When people tell me Lae’zel and Astarion are basically the same character, with the same romance structure, I just have to laugh because… what?
Lae’zel is upfront from the beginning. She dislikes Tav because she genuinely sees them as weak and beneath her. It’s harsh, but it’s honest. As you prove yourself, she gains respect for you, and her attitude changes accordingly. We also learn that her worldview is the product of her upbringing and fear. Whether you agree with her or not, you know where you stand with her.
Even her romance reflects that honesty. When she first sleeps with Tav, she makes it clear that it’s just sex. There is no false promise or emotional manipulation.
Astarion, by contrast, begins his romance as a survival strategy. He sleeps with Tav because he believes seduction is the safest way to secure protection and influence. He even tells Tav he loves them early on as part of that manipulation. His trauma under Cazador explains why he behaves that way, and I think that context is important, but understanding his reasons doesn’t erase what he does.
That’s why, for me, Lae’zel is actually the more trustworthy companion at the start of the game. She’s abrasive, arrogant, and sometimes cruel, but she’s rarely dishonest about her motives. Astarion, on the other hand, is charming precisely because he’s hiding his true intentions.
They’re both deeply shaped by abuse and indoctrination, but they express that in completely different ways. Lae’zel’s instinct is brutal honesty. Astarion’s is deception. Those aren’t the same thing.
