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What are your tubing hot takes?

Side note, i have a fun tubing story. Grandparents were driving (is that the right word?) their boat around with us super fast and the rope disconnected and it was kinda scary. But all the adults were like nah tie a knot and they can keep going! And then it broke a second time

TY CORVIN tubing hot takes essay COMMENCE

also, yeah, that’s the good good lake shit that happens. I’ve never had a toe line break on me while tubing but I’ve had plenty come untied and or get stuck in the motor. Ah good times.

before I start, The Tubing Experience ™️ depends mostly on the driver. You can just stay in the wake and go a reasonable speed and have a grand ol time. You can go out the wake and stand up n all that n have a real fun time too. Depends on the rider and the driver and even the boat model (some boats have smaller wakes some have bigger ect.). But in the right hands these things are straight up a hazing tool. 0% joking here, no human should like tubing when put in extremist hands, I’ve been conditioned from age five to enjoy this shit and I’m making it all your problem.

First off, any Tube where you are sitting in a seat below the ground level of the tube or has mesh that goes down into the water is a no. The ones with the seats were not designed with any human body type in mind. So whenever you get into one your legs and hips are squeezed into the little hell seat and all the jolting and jumping around will give you rubber friction burns. Also when water gets into it (inevitable) it turns into gross fucking stagnate ass soup. It’s nice and refreshing at first but it gets all warm and nasty extremely fast just uhg god the worst. The mesh ones have the ass soup issue also. But the worst thing is that water hard when you’re going fast so whenever you hit a bump (always) it fucking HURTS. Water is also way more grippy when you’re going fast so if you’re wearing swim bottoms that aren’t the sturdies they can get torn off. Also both are just sensory issue hell. Half wet pool toy texture is not my favorite.

These things are baby shit. They are fun tho.

We personally had this guy for a long while and we could never figure out how to flip it over. I’m sure it’s possible, it’s for sure possible to fall off of one, it’s just really really hard. You’re not going to get any crazy jumps or anything with one of these things bc of the counter weights on either side, which, might be what you’re looking for idk. You can do a bunch of fun shit on these though. You can get out and lay on the sides (especially if your model is made for that), you can change seats, you can stand up and jump on them pretty easy. We liked to pretend it was a bobsled and lean the opposite way the boat was pulling us to get extra draggggg or whatever. Again, baby shit, kinda a boring ride sometimes, very safe, but still good. Also really easy on you arms which is nice.

classic no seater. Hurts your arms like hell but honestly? Underrated. No gross texture issues, no swamp ass, it’s fun. It’s generally more rough than like, a fancy WOW one with the backboards but it really depends who’s driving. Also refreshing bc your feet are in the water.

YOU. YOU BASTON FROM HELL. He’s my arch enemy and I’m glad that bitch is dead (for now). Again, ass soup. It’s hard to tell from the photo but the gimmick of this one is its three separate little tubes you can connect together with toe lines in between them. The experience is different depending on which boat you are in. The front is easy, actually kinda boring. But the ones behind it. Get all the water shrapnel coming off of the front boat, so it’s just fucking water being sprayed directly into your eyes. I don’t think I opened my eyes a single time on this thing. And moreover all the waves made from the upper tubes are being sprayed back at you as well. So you’re basically being a self sustaining constant wave maker for the people behind you. But not like good big smooth waves you get regularly like choppy fucking micro waves that don’t give you any air but make the entire tube fucking shake and jolt like it’s going over gravel. And it gets multiplied for the person in the back (ME) so much so that it legit hurt my fucking back from how rough it is. ALSO THE FUCKING momentum of all the other tubes gets transferred to you too so when you make a sharp turn you get fucking LAUNCHED like legit thrown around by any little wave or direction change. It feels like you’re being grabbed by a big cartoon hand and shook around and beat up like in a funny YouTube animation. It hurts your back like hell it hurts your arms like hell it hurts your ass like hell. The day after we got this fuckin thing it popped irreversibly. Like the whole bottom ripped to shreds. I’m glad it’s gone. Had fun though.

I only went on one of these once but it didn’t spin any. Pretty much just a regular tube. kinda disappointing :[

I have never been on one of these things. Because they are very illegal. But I have seen them be used. Hey. A drop onto running water from 10 feet up is enough to break your spine. I fell from probably not even a foot onto running water yesterday tubing and my ribs are bruised to shit. Do not do this, I’m pretty sure there’s still a model that’s legal out there somewhere, don’t don’t do this 🧍‍♀️ also I’m campaigning hard for the image on the right to become a meme template it brings me a lot of joy.

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