#lambheart

[lambheart]

"Rotten Heart"

repeat consume repeat consume repeat consume repeat consume

then observe

slowly

consume and repeat

the cycle

silence

then noise

then consumption

it requires

your brain

rot

ten flesh

-lambheart

[goofy-clan]

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour we spent together

Lives within my heart

When she loved me..

—————————————

As fun as the relationship with spec and moon is, I wonder how rabbit is feeling now?

The world was much brighter and beautiful with lamb in her life.

Now it’s bland, miserable. If the guilt doesn’t kill her, the Loneliness will.

[waspclan]

It took a quarter-moon of nagging, but Bouncerumble’s finally convinced Buzzardfur to travel to the Moonfalls. Shining water crashes from the cliff to the riverbed below, creating an almost deafening clamor that has him wondering how medicine cats can stand coming here every half-moon. He sighs and shakes off the thought, but what floods into his brain next is even worse: how does he deserve this? Why him? What do the others see in him? This can’t be the right choice. Still, if Bouncerumble is so convinced that StarClan will grant him nine lives …

After a long walk—during which Buzzardfur nearly slips on the wet rocks multiple times—Bouncerumble comes to an abrupt stop next to a fallen tree trunk that spans the river. “Sit,” they say, and Buzzardfur does, staring into the water that sparkles beneath Silverpelt.

“This is the place?” 

Buzzardfur winces at his own stupid questions, but Bouncerumble simply nods. “Touch your nose to the water,” they instruct, “and let your mind be free. StarClan will visit you. I know they will.”

Buzzardfur is still dubious as he crouches down next to the river, but he obeys nonetheless. 

It doesn’t happen right away, but it doesn’t take too long, either. One moment, all he sees is the inside of his eyelids; the next, Buzzardfur finds himself in the center of a grassy clearing, his fur drenched in silvery starlight. He looks down at the ground and rubs one paw against the thick grass beneath it; he knows—thinks—he hasn’t physically moved, but it feels as real as the wet rock had just a few moments ago. 

Why is he alone, though? Where is everyone? Surely some cat is supposed to be here to greet him—nine of them, if they’re planning on giving him his nine lives. But …

“Buzzardfur.”

Buzzardfur starts, the fur on his back raising, and whips around, but when he sees who it is, his haunches settle. It’s nobody he knows, he thinks, not even anyone he’s seen at a gathering, but somehow, the cat who’s greeted him—a small, silvery-white tom with black swirls in his fur—is familiar, like an old friend. “You’re … Do I know you?” he asks, and the other cat smiles gently.

“Not yet.” The other cat shakes his head, though the smile remains. “I’m here to watch over you and the cats you lead. My name is Lambheart.”

“Lambheart,” Buzzardfur repeats. “Are you … are you from the original WaspClan?”

The smile on Lambheart’s face falters. “I was, yes,” he says after a beat, a hint of sadness in his voice. “It was a good clan when I knew it. We were …” He shakes his head. “No, that’s not what I’m here to talk about. There’s a new WaspClan, Buzzardfur, and I want to help give you the power to lead it.”

Buzzardfur’s questions are still myriad, but he doesn’t protest, as much as he wants to. “Right. I’m ready,” he lies, and shuts his eyes.

When Lambheart touches his nose to his forehead, Buzzardfur hardly has a moment to register it before a wave of intensity washes over him. There’s no other word to describe it: it’s not a good feeling or a bad one, just … intense. Over the pounding over his heart in his ears, he makes out Lambheart’s words: “Take this gift, to help you endure in the face of hardship.”

Buzzardfur opens his mouth to reply, but finds himself speechless. When he manages to open his eyes, he finds himself surrounded by wispy, starry figures in the shape of cats. Some of them are strangers, but some he recognizes—his sister Stripekit, who’d died of redcough; his father’s best friend, Wolftooth, who’d been slain by a SaplingClan warrior. His voice fails as he tries to call out to them, but just seeing them fills him with warmth.

“We grant you your remaining eight lives,” they say, a chorus of meows filling the air. Over and over, Buzzardfur is hit with swirls of energy, stronger than anything he’s ever felt before. “Use them well, with our blessing.”

The StarClan cats’ voices are still echoing in his mind when Buzzardstar opens his eyes—his real ones this time. He stares at the star-speckled water of the Moonfalls, breathing heavy. Buzzardstar, Buzzardstar, Buzzardstar!

“Buzzardstar?” Bouncerumble asks, and the voices fall silent.

Buzzardstar shakily gets to his paws, feeling both exhausted and more alive than ever, and tilts up his head to stare at the glistening sky. “Let’s go home,” he says, and for just a moment, a burst of pride flickers in his heart.

[smallfire]

doodles for today... sisters lambkit sweetkit and hushkit, and useless but pretty boy loonbelly!

[kittywolfxxx]

Lambheart is a living doll!

[simply-nur]

you can't not tell me this could be A Thing--

(Bubblepaw and Lambheart are @smallfire 's; Lostwhisper is mine)

[lambheart]

I hope this won't get on any Christian page, but here's something I need to say. Sometimes I feel inspired by Jesus—not in a Christian way. I am not one, and never will be. I don't believe in his existence, though I treat him like a fictional character from a book, the way you feel about characters from a thrilling book you're reading, where your life becomes what the book is about. This is how I feel about Jesus. It makes me want to go to a church and either cry or be completely quiet and still, while music by Ethel Cain, Chelsea Wolfe, BANKS, and Grouper plays in the building.

My relationship with religion is complex. You may sometimes catch me talking about God, but not the Christian one or any religious God. I describe God as the universe, and the universe is everything you can think of—trees, wind, stars, walls, us, etc. God is energy and the universe.

That being said, I may talk about my relationship with various gods without believing in any of them. It is purely energy, and therefore, I think it exists in an incomprehensible way.

[smallfire]

lambheart.. a soft good girl