⚠️ TW: Trypophobia, Animal death, animal harm, mocking of depression, Tangi virus
Rainbowberry knew something was wrong with riverstar.
The clan, or what remained of it, had been trudging along for days. When the storm had finally halted, when they got their bearings, riverstar declared that we would never go to the river again. Beavermurk had helped Rainbowberry collect any herbs that weren’t destroyed or soaked in water, and pack up into their satchel for the trip.
Everyone had lost something. Kits, parents, siblings, mates. Rainbow had lost his entire family. Even riverstar had lost his dear Warblerhop to the floodwaters. But grief wasn’t in Rainbowberry's mind of concern. What concerned him, was the leaders growing irritation and scratching. Occasionally, the elderly leader would stop and scratch. Their claws on their back leg raking their fur, itching at it. Or they would roll onto their back and wiggle, making the little newborn Wigglestrike carried giggle.
Rainbowberry had brought up concern a couple times. Each were met with growing hostility. The tom sunk his claws into the grass, he was just concerned! He had packed mouse bile if they had fleas, why was the Leader so resistant? He tried to focus on the scenery instead, third in the convoy of cats.
The Twolegs large gathering of dens was destroyed. Monsters laid dead on the side of the road, sharp clear stones speckled near them. So much twoleg trash, even what looked like a skull in the path. Riverstar had promised the clan that the thunderpath had no monsters, and the big noisy ones with twolegs yowling on them were farther up ahead. Cloudtuft, Rainbowberrys kithood freind, had asked Rainbow why he thought they were doing that. “Same as us I suppose” he mewed. “Looking for anyone lost in the flood.”
Eventually, Beavermurk lifted their tail, a signal the entire convoy took heed of. Slowing to a stop, making the younger cats whine in confusion. Riverstar did not turn his head, but simply opened his jaws to speak. “We will rest here momentarily. Remember, do not drink any water on the ground. Ask PuffPurr or Warmdust for their containers.” And with that, the old cat began to walk away from the clan as the group rested.
A nagging feeling in the back of Rainbows head told him to go after them, to offer herbs one more time. The leader didn’t even let him touch his fur last time! But, rainbow thought miserably, he may be afraid to be infected, We all are. Rainbow sighed, and rested back next to Cloudtuft. Beavermurk tilted his head, and grinned weakly. “You doing alright doc?” Rainbow forced grin to his muzzle. Beaver always did try and keep spirits high, despite the circumstances.
“Just worried. Riverstar isn’t doing well, the itching?” Rainbow mumbled. Beavermurk nodded, looking in the direction the leader had wandered. It was behind a large amount of twoleg trash and monsters, a tree washed near the debris. “I thought he got a infected wound or something. But his fur would be cut, yeah?” Rainbow shook his head, checking his herb storage. “He won’t let me close enough to check; I think he’s worried that I’m…” Beavermurk stood up, and pat a paw on their leg.
“I’ll go check on him for you. Any nicks or bumps, I’ll report back. You focus on the kits, they need checkups.” Beavermurk smiled. And Rainbow, truthfully smiled back. He nodded, and watched the black and white tom bound away, and vanish behind the trash. Rainbowberry sighed, and checked the kits. Sootkit was staring blankly ahead, bags under the kits eyes. The apprentices were huddled together, trying to crack jokes to cheer each other up. Rainbowberry felt his resolve crumble a bit more.
Poor sootkit, lost his entire family. He still remembered the kittens cries for their mother as they carried him away from the swelling waves. Poor Icypaw, who had fled Pebbleclan to find shelter from infected. And poor little Stormkit, named lovingly by Warmdust. His mother, ThunderBite, perished from bloodloss while bringing him into the world during the storm. Rainbow thought the name was cruel at first, but Warmdust objected. “It is how we were all named, it’s tradition.” Rainbow wasn’t comforted by this at all.
He leaned down, gently checking over Stormkit. The kitten wiggled, little mewls as they tried to squirm near rainbow. He waved a paw in front of them, a weak forced smile. “Hi storm. You doing okay today?” Stormkit simply hiccuped. Rainbow nodded, and began towards the apprentices- and stopped. It had been too long. Why wasn’t Beavermurk back? Were they talking? Were they taken?
Without a word, he turned away and tried not to run as he weaved around the trash, down the slope, and to the broken thunderpath. Upon reaching the end, he was struck with horror. The path had caved in the middle, a monster stuck upside down in the pit. Odd black liquid pooled from the monster, onto the thunder path. But that wasn’t what shocked Rainbowberry. What shocked him was the sight of his leader crouched over Beavermurks limp body, eyes wide and milky.
“..Riverstar? What have you done?!”
A horribly cold chill fell upon Rainbowberry as he stared, as he analyzed. Beavermurks muzzle was absolutely covered in that black liquid, eyes half open. He had been drowned, and from the scratch marks on the thunderpath he had fought. But wasn’t any match for Riverstars bulk. His stomach had been slashed open, entrails spilling into the cold air. And then he looked at Riverstar, and almost gagged. A patch of the leaders fur had been scratched bald, revealing numerous cavernous holes and cysts.
Blood stained the fur and skin on it, but it was like Riverstar had rolled in the blood of Beavermurk , smearing it all over. Riverstar lifted his head, staring at the medicine cat. Rainbowberry panicked, trying not to unsheath his claws as he kept eye contact and backed up slowly. Was he infected? This wasn’t like it before! And Riverstar hadn’t swam or drank any water! But…he had eaten that fish a few days ago. That had milky white eyes, and almost white pus from its mouth.
Rainbowberry snapped his eyes wide, staring at riverstars words. He had half a mind to oblige and slash the leaders throat, but Riverstar had lives, and he had no idea what would happen if this infected blood got on him. He stayed back, trembling. Riverstars maw opened, voice broken and distraught. “I didn’t want too..it was all a daze, starclan forgive me…it itched so bad, something in me itches so bad rainbowberry!” He yowled, and Rainbow could practically hear the pawsteps of the clan running to the sound.
“R-Riverstar-“ Rainbowberry began, before Riverstar yowled again. “Only blood could feed it, i….it won’t let me take my lives Rainbow. My claws don’t act with me- do it! Please! I can’t hurt the clan!” The running pawsteps were getting louder, blood rushed in rainbows ears. The world seemed smaller, almost like looking through a curved paw. The terrified wails of his clan behind him were so quiet and muffled. His paws acted before his mind did.
He ran forward, and shoved his gloved paws into the leader. There was a yowl, the old tom clawed into Beavermurks pelt and took it with him as he tumbled into the pit. Riverstars claw flailed out again, and caught the side of the monster. A horrible screeching noise came as the claws ran down the side, and Rainbow watched in almost horrifying intrest as a spark popped from the metal and the claw. It fell into the pit of black liquid with Riverstar- and suddenly there was a bright flash and a woosh.
Rainbowberry was flung back, slamming against a metal twoleg object. The impact made him see stars, and he flopped down limpy. Through his dazed vision, he watched in horror as the pit burned. Some warriors tried to get near, only to flee the heat of the fire. The horrible pained yowls of Riverstar echoed out, only stopping once in a while, and starting again. Every live lost. As black invaded his vision, RainbowBerry wished he wouldn’t wake up. That this would take him away to the afterlife, and the nightmare would be over.
His eyes fluttered open, the sky was purple and blue. Stars twinkled above, like a nursery story. Rainbowberry sat up, clouds pooling around his paws. The tom realized his body didn’t ache of exhaustion anymore, or of throbbing pain in his skull. Was this it, had he passed? He looked around, noticing cats shadows approaching. He smiled, and bounded over. “Mom! Dad! It’s actually y-“ his voice caught as the cloud dissipated to reveal cats that weren’t his family.
They were cats he hadn’t seen before, but he recognized one. Riverstars mate, Warblerhop. Six cats in all, almost surrounding him. Worry filled his stomach, and he sat down. One cat, with a bluish grey coat stepped forward. “Rainbowberry. We are not here to punish you for killing Riverstar.” A bit of relief filled him, he sighed. “I-I, he asked. I didn’t know what he had but he sounded in so much pain, a-and-“ the blue cat raised a paw.
“That is enough. We are aware. The new disease is worrying, but will be dealt with.” Her curt words didn’t put him at ease. It felt like he was being scolded. Another cat in the group whispered to another, and he felt his ears droop. “However. Your clan is leaderless. The deputy and the leader is gone. Without them, the clan will fall.” A ginger cat interupted, a scowl on their muzzle. “And because of your cowardice!”
RainbowBerry flinched back. Cowardice? He wracked his brain, even as the other cats had made the ginger sit down. The group seemed to have the same expressions. Disgust. Annoyance. Distaste. As if he was a piece of spoiled prey. Finally, it dawned upon him. His cowardice was wanting death to take him. He spoke up, a whine in his voice at first.
“T-that’s not fair! I died right? I just wanted this nightmare to be over, to see my family!” He squeaked, voice suddenly tight. Why was he so nervous? Was he afraid of being what, damned to the dark forest? One cat bristled, and the ginger cat pointed a claw. “Yer’ the only pillar of the clan left! The medicine cat, and you just wanna drop out and leave them? What a selfish cat!”
Rainbow flinched, curling up his tail around him. He watched some cats agree, and some just look away. He opened his mouth to protest, before the ginger cat yowled again. “Back in my day, when cats were sad they just sucked it up! Bloody soft these days..” Finally the blue cat intervened as rainbows ears drooped more. “BadgerLeap hush! We have decided that in order to keep balance. You shall be made leader.”
Rainbowberrys eyes widened in horror. He couldn’t, he shouldn’t! He knew many other cats who were worthy of the position, not just rainbow because he was third in line. He shouldn’t even BE in line! He shook his head, eyes wide as he was surrounded. “N-no, no please-“ what would he say? He wanted to tell them that the clan needed their medicine cat. That they couldn’t be without one for long, especially now. But instead, the truth came out. “I don’t wanna live again!”
His voice was desperate, scared and dejected. The cats didn’t react verbally, but physically, which seemed to hurt more. Annoyance, Numbness, Contempt. Even anger from the ginger cat. One cat pointed, saying something along the lines of “life” and “flexibility”. A agonizing shock coursed through his veins, sending him to the ground. He sunk his claws into the soft clouds, eyes watering.
“I give this life for solidarity.”
“I give this life for adventure.”
“I give this life for affection.”
“I give this life for Unity”
A choked sob. Rainbow was curled up, tears rolling down his face as pain and distress ran through him. He felt hopeless, this didn’t feel like a blessing. It felt like a punishment. For being weak. He winced as the ginger cat strided up, and slammed their nose into his with a bit of force, snarkily muttering. “I give you this life for COWARDICE.”
Agony ran through him, a yowl of pain as he sobbed. Claws pointed at him, like he was being mocked and belittled. He hid his face in his paws, crying like a apprentice that had been chewed out by their mentor on their first hunt. And suddenly, the voices stopped. The air no longer felt suffocatingingly warm, but cool. He peaked between his paws, and stared around. Bluish skies, soft green grass, soft clouds rolling through the grass instead of the sky.
The unknown residence. And Oracle stood before him. Rainbow blinked away his tears, trying to stand up straight. “O-oracle..I’m so sorry, we-“ Instead, Oracle padded over and nuzzled their head against their pelt. “Shush! Don’t be like that it’s okay! And besides, I’ll be your clans guide from now on!” The kittypet sounded chipper, at least they weren’t angry for not being saved.
“Thank you…” Rainbow mumbled, eyes stinging from the tears. But before he got another word out, Oracle nudged their nose against Rainbows, collar jingling. The pain that rushed through him was less and more fast, like he had stubbed his paw. Oracle looked at them with a sad smile. “I give you these lives for Healing, Wisdom, and determination. I’m..sorry rainbowstar.”
Rainbows eyes widened, tears began to spill as the comforting chill of the wind began to vanish, the feeling of grass pulled from underneath him as he tumbled down, down, down…
Only to awaken among the terrified clan, the stink of twoleg trash wafting into his nose. He was alive. He had his lives. He was their leader now.
And Rainbowstar shrieked in despair.
