#lamethings

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In the end I am always reminded how little I mean to this world and to the people who claim they care about me. Why do they play games with me. Why do they lead me on when they don’t even want me. Why am I always the crazy one for expressing my wants and needs and holding them accountable to their own words. I’m no good. I’m nothing. I am garbage always waiting to be thrown away by the next person. I’m too much. I’m too much. I’m too much. I’m not worth the effort. Not worth the energy. I would give up if I didn’t have my pets, best friend, and dad. I’m meant to be alone. I deserve nothing. I’m sorry for existing. I wish I was better. I wish I could find someone to see value in me. Every ducking time I find value in myself, I lose it when the person I talk to let’s me down. I’m not crazy for wanting reassurance. I’m not crazy for wanting to be told you care. I’m not crazy to ask for more affection. Fuck you.

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both are current thoughts taking space in my head

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grr I need a kiss ASAP ♡°•~▪︎¤♡

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Guess what I need right now?♡☆

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My anxiety burns so brightly inside me; fueling the erratic sparks of chaos that flows through my veins.

When I close my eyes I can see them ignite all my fears, ambitions, and desires. Sneaking all inside my body burrowing down to the darkest crevices and forcing motion from my achy bones into movement.

I push and pull and push and pull and push and pull too hard too often yet No fear of dwindling embers reside in my mind.

Because when I bruise those fireworks are just displays of hard work and those tear that should dampen the ever growing embers of nauseating teeth grinding anxiety do little when the flames sore past the limits of my body and mind.

I remind myself that I am the spark in my soul and the drive in my body and that everything I do is for me and a better tomorrow.

Yet I can’t help but wonder why it becomes hard to breathe as if I am not burning myself alive to achieve the goals inside.

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Post a pic with the butt plug in?

I would but that shit would get taken down. Like this to lmk if you'd pay 5$ for a short video 👀

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small photo drop for those who still check in on me

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Things I've imagined:

a soft touch on the curves of my body and a warm breath in my ear whispering sweet murmurs of a better tomorrow

lips on my neck giving me kisses that raise goosebumps and create a feeling of such high bliss that even when they end the warmth glowing inside me will not fade

a body to come home to no matter where home is because home is where you

a love, unimaginable