𝒿𝒶𝓂𝒾𝑒
@lancermade said: “Can you just tell me the truth?? For once, just tell me the truth!”
leander would be lying if he said this was an easy task . with jamie having been the cause of his hesitancy and getting shot , the team hadn’t been exactly patient with hearing jamie out at first -- but respectful enough inc certainty that there was a reason one stopped . it had taken time for him to even hesitate for his own teammates , four ending up with the shit end of the stick a couple of times for it , but he seemed to be growing as a person . but jamie ? jamie was from the past . while he’s the one that lived like a ghost , it was like he’d seen one a few days ago when brown eyes met blue in the middle of a shit show that seemed to ensue with their missions . there to take down the man operating the creation of this underlying bomb , running in to his past life friend was honestly the last thing he’d equated in . partly .. he should have figured someone like jamie might be on a project like this , anyways .
a few days out and he’s finally able to at least stand out in the open air of a patio in the makeshift ‘er room’ that five had put together for him . his side bandaged heavily and he wasn’t the most steady on his feet , but for now , he was in the clear and he needed to just breathe and stand . he hadn’t talked to jamie much yet , in and out of pain and needing the sleep that followed suite of it , he’s sighing out when he hears the other guy get frustrated at his vague sense of answering his question . the thing was , leander hardly wanted to talk about the truth of things -- it made this even harder , and made him feel like the choice beforehand had been a terrible one . not that he didn’t hate that he’d left jamie .. but it also sunk in heavier when spoken it seemed . it had been a conversation with the team when they’d hounded him of why the guy was still there and honestly , it put thickness in his swallowing before he’s turning to look at jamie .
‘ want the truth , jamie ? ‘ he speaks up , a brow lifting and a hand raising to scratch at his scruffy face before sighing softly . ‘ i’ve never lied to you about things . this is kind of -- was part of the deal , honestly . ‘ there’s a lick of his lips and a breath being taken because there’s no good way to say that this was more important to the only person he had deemed important in his life . while it had been a slow pick away at both of their shells , it seemed jamie was the only person that could get attention from leander -- even if jamie wasn’t exactly asking for it . ‘ i told you i went to turgistan , we did the shoot , the donation , the helping .. ‘ he’s looking back out over the city again , lips thinning a bit . ‘ it was bombed with gas while i was there .. the jets flew over and dropped them and i watched countless people -- adults , children , babies .. they died because it was such a panic trying to pass masks out .. watching how the kids were split up from their families , kids standing over their dead parents , parents over their dead children .. i never told you that , ‘ he admits before turning back to him , resting his good hip against the railing a bit . ‘ you were so sucked in to your work , which i never faulted you for .. i liked just existing in your space .. but it took planning and finding the right people i wanted to help me along revenge over the president of turgistan . i talked a bit about my visit there , but nothing i really have to say on things was much of interest since you’re never not working . and yet , i found you to be the comfortable person in my life , my best friend on things .. dumb , i know , ‘ he admits with a little laugh.
‘ a couple of months , you know .. got everything together , i even asked you to hang out for just one night .. but you were busy with your work , you couldn’t give up now !! you are always so passionate about your work , so i let it be . went out , had a great night with a woman instead as a farewell to everyday life , and faked my death the next morning as planned . ‘ there’s a pause , licking his lips and a hand running over his shaggy hair a bit , knowing he needed a hair cut , honestly . ‘ going ghost , i disappeared from the world and it meant cutting all contact . and it might sound unfair right now , but it was one of the hardest decisions for leaving you in the dark of things .. it took countless nights to not contact you but i had to leave my life behind . i stayed low for a couple years as i built my team , and then -- we set off to do what we were here to do .. we have a set goal of a couple of people , but you -- you were never supposed to be in the equation . you were just supposed to be jamie , working on his projects for the better of the world .. but it has been a few years , so i guess it’s rightful you’ve moved on to bigger and better things .. ‘ brown eyes are on the ground between them a little . ‘ i cared for you , a lot .. you were probably the hardest part of leaving this whole past life behind . and i know -- i know you’re probably angry with me more than anything , currently .. but just know that i am sorry , for what i’ve done .. and please know that i am grateful that it was only a shot to my kidney and not more gunshots that you prevented me from getting by tackling me .. and once .. we figure out where to go from here , i’ll let you be and not make things worse . ‘