Blue (part 1)
Summary: After a peaceful time recovering in Wakanda and the reunion of the Avengers after a whole year since the fight in Siberia, Bucky found his place amongst the team. He goes to mandatory therapy, he trains and uses the skills Hydra gave him to help others. But once again, his past trails after him when he sees you again. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female!Hydra!reader Warnings: MDNI!!!!! ANGST, violence, mentions of torture, manipulation, bad language (Cap is disappointed, he has given up at this point), all that jazz!! Word count: 2.8k Song recommendation: BLUE - Billie Eilish (of course) Author's note: okay so...... I came up with this idea while listening to BLUE and I just started to brainstorm about it, I decided to just write and see where this goes. In my world, Thanos choked on a chicken wing and no one rescued him, may he rot in hell. I'll be forever in denial thank you very much, everyone is alive and living at the compound and this story is set between 2017/2018 🙏🏻 there's no description of the reader (I think lmao) except her age
There were many things Bucky remembered about his time being kept by Hydra. Mostly the pain, the tortures…
He had constant nightmares about the cold and the feeling of over 1.000 volts going straight into his head. He'd wake up in a deep sweat, a scream trapped in his throat and it would take a few minutes for him to calm down, regain his bearings.
That morning, he woke up at 5 am sharp. Steve and Sam were already by the compound entrance waiting for him. Jogging in the quiet dawn was a good way to get his mind back on track. The quiet buzz of his teammates in the common kitchen also helped. They all lived like a big dysfunctional family, always bickering over the most ridiculous topics like who stole who's shirt from the laundry room or Tony complaining about the damn coffee grounds in the disposal. Almost as if they all forgot who they really were. The responsibility they all carried on their shoulders and the title of superheroes.
Nowadays, they mostly worked to get rid of anything that could resurface from Hydra. Small missions, retrieving remnants of Ultron’s robots, stopping black market auctions of Stark’s tech and Bucky has stopped two robberies a few weeks ago in Brooklyn.
His time in Wakanda, healing and getting rid of his programming were good enough to bring him a sense of belonging in the team. He didn't feel like a monster most times. He got a new arm thanks to Shuri, he went to therapy, talked to Tony about everything and knew he wouldn't be forgiven so easily but the man had enough consciousness that Bucky didn't choose to do any of it. He almost forgot about the things he did. Almost.
Until a new mission brought all of those feelings to the surface.
They were all gathered in the conference room, Natasha and Maria were gonna brief them on their next assignment.
“I had a few contacts pull this up for me”, Maria first told them, tapping her fingers on a tablet. “This is Aleksandr Ivankov, Colonel in the Soviet Army Forces. He is one of the main scientists behind the serum replication, he used to operate in Siberia from 1991 until Hydra was discovered in 2014 when they all ran away like roaches.”
Maria's voice turned into white noise. Bucky's vision tunneled as his eyes focused on the man on the holographic image. Robust, a permanent frown and his lips always twisted down on an unpleasant expression. His hands trembled, triggered by a simple photo. This was the man behind all of his conditioning. Bucky could still hear the tone he would use when starting to say the trigger words. Always cold, a harsh glare in his direction.
“Apparently, Ivankov still has the serum. He disappeared after SHIELD fell but word got around about a scientist wanting to sell the serum in the black market. He fits the description and he is about to attend an event this weekend to promote his product.” Natasha continued. “The biggest problem is that he has his own supersoldier as a bodyguard.” She pressed a button and the screen flicked to surveillance camera footage. It showed a person. Definitely female. She wore a black tactical vest, an exact replica of the Winter Soldier’s uniform. The leather vest with straps across the chest, tactical black pants, boots, a mask covering half of her face and a black hood covering her hair. She fought with precision and brutality, never missing a target and Bucky recognised his own fighting style. Of course she would fight like him, she was just another pawn to Hydra and they had an excellency pattern. “She's known as Alpha. Never leaves Ivankov’s side, no one gets close enough to him either. She will probably be at the auction so we will need to be prepared to intercept her so we can get to him.”
Bucky felt sick. At a different time, he was the one protecting Ivankov, making sure no one dared to get anywhere near him. And to know that someone else was being forced to do the same made his skin crawl and his stomach twist.
“You okay, pal?”
Steve's question came a few minutes later after the briefing had already ended. Bucky was standing by the common room, looking out the window towards the tree lines ahead. He hadn't said a word all day.
“Ivankov used to be one of the handlers”, Bucky told him, noticing how Steve's shoulders tensed up. “He designed… The machine. And the entire process for the wiping.”
Steve wasn't even sure what to say. So he placed a hand to Bucky's shoulder, showing his undying support.
“You can sit this one out.”
Bucky let out a sigh, nodding at his best friend.
“Thank you.”
And he did. He watched as Natasha, Yelena and Clint got ready to leave for Vienna, where the auction would take place. Yelena would go undercover to find out what Ivankov was selling and also to arrest him if she had the chance. He didn't know many details about the mission, taking Steve's offer quite literally and staying away.
The three of them were back after two days, no sign of Ivankov. Yelena was hurt, she had a busted lip, a hematoma to the left side of her jaw and a limp. Everyone gathered at the conference room once again as Yelena debriefed them on what happened.
“Ivankov is selling the serum and a brainwashing machine”, she told everyone, her eyes darting in Bucky's direction twice. “Everyone knows his work. And he showed off his ‘best creation’. Alpha.” She showed the pictures she took from the auction, the woman conditioned to protect him at all costs stood next to him as he spoke. Like a statue. Not moving an inch. Goggles and a mask covering her face, a hood hiding her hair. “I got him cornered after the event. It did not go well as you can see.”
Yelena rolls her eyes as she points at herself.
“So what now? We're gonna let him sell this thing?” Sam asked.
“Calm down, bird boy”, Yelena replied, earning a glare from the man. “I found out where he keeps his lab. Got the coordinates and the number of people working for him, all of them are from Hydra.”
“Sounds pretty clear to me”, Clint mentioned. “We go in, arrest him… If he gets blown up, it won't be so bad either.”
“What about his bodyguard?” Bucky was the one to ask, still staring at the woman in the pictures. Wiped, conditioned and lethal… Just like he was once before. “We're gonna blow her up too?”
There was a moment of silence. The chances of her surviving the operation were slim. None of them liked to kill. But some things were inevitable, such as her becoming collateral damage.
“We will do what we can to help”, Steve declared.
“Friday, let's work on the coordinates, get me a full satellite image and thermal too just so we know how many we are dealing with”, Tony spoke.
The conversation that followed up, the entire planning for Ivankov's interception was background noise. Bucky was still staring at the woman in the picture. Clad on a uniform exactly like his. The goggles, the mask… The absurd amount of weapons trapped in her body. He wondered if she was conscious at all, knowing that she was being exhibited like a zoo animal. He wondered if there was anything left of who she was before… But it was useless. He knew that if it came down to it, if any of them had to choose, she would be discarded.
That is what encouraged him to join the mission, no matter how many times Steve said it was okay for him to stay back. He couldn't. He felt like he had to advocate for this woman. Make sure she could, at least, get a chance to live properly. Just like Steve had done for him.
The base was buried deep into the forest around the Tatra Mountains, a few miles from Zakopane. It was a considerably large construction, pure concrete and stone amongst the trees. The snow covered every surface, crunching under Bucky's boots as he advanced towards the base with the team. Sam would give air support while the others were on the ground. Bucky could see Steve to his left; Natasha to his right, Yelena flanking her a few feet behind and Clint found a spot up a hill to get a clear view..
Friday informed them that there were 10 people in the building. They knew that whoever was in there would retaliate but they were ready for it. The men were good, heavily armed and willing to go full violent mode on them; Bucky only had one thing in mind: find Ivankov (maybe break a bone or two for personal reasons) and make sure to sedate his bodyguard. He knew that dialogue wouldn't solve anything if this woman was programmed so sedating her would be the best way out.
“Guys, we have compan-”
Yelena's voice was cut through the comms. They all stopped, looking around. Bucky was alone in the second sublevel.
“Yelena? Where are you-”
Static once again through Natasha's comm.
“Nat? Nat!” Clint called out. “Barnes, do you have visual?"
“I'm on sublevel two, what’s going on?” Bucky asked, already making his way to the staircase.
“They are down. I'm on my way!”
But not even Steve responded. Sam was shouting something from outside, the static keeping Bucky from understanding what he was saying.
“-ere! Sh– Barnes!”
“What?!”
“She's here!”
He definitely understood that, especially as a hard punch reached his face. He stumbled back, barely having time to look up as he got kicked in the chest, then another kick to his left knee. He managed to defend himself, blocking a punch to his stomach but an elbow struck him right on the chin, followed by his legs being swept from under him. His back hit the hard floor, his muscles already aching. He looked up and saw her. Ivankov's bodyguard. Alpha.
She wasn't looking at him, grabbing his own gun from the floor, checking the ammo before turning to point it at him. But she stopped. Her goggles were gone, only the mask remained. And he could see her eyes.
Your eyes.
They were wide, as if you were surprised to see him. You didn't point the gun at him, blinking a few times as if he was just a hallucination. He could see the hesitation. But why would you hesitate in killing him on the spot?
Before he could even think of any proper words to speak, he saw Natasha coming up behind you.
“Wait-”
But there was already a cord around your neck, Natasha pulled it back to knock you down but you were strong. Turning around, you wrapped your arm around the cord, pulling Natasha forward and easily headbutting her. Your fighting style also threw Bucky off, it was like watching him fight. Precise. Deadly.
He grabbed his gun from the floor, reaching to help Natasha as you got kicked in the face and removed your mask to spit blood on the floor. You were not as graceful as Natasha with her ballet moves but you were stronger and without much effort, you roundhouse kicked her head into the wall, her body falling to the floor.
“You don't have to do this…” Bucky found himself saying. You were breathing heavily, still having your back turned towards him. “There's a way out. I can help you.” And that's when you turned to look at him once again. And he felt like he got punched in the stomach. Your eyes were still wide but filled with tears now. Because he recognised you now. He remembered you from years ago… The same eyes, a child's eyes, terrified as you watched him be tortured now stared back just as haunted as his. “Jesus… You…” He tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. “Stop protecting him. There's a way out.”
You barely shook your head.
“I can’t”, was all you offered as a response.
The sound of a grenade rolling across the concrete floor got Bucky's attention and he saw the pin dangling from your finger before you sprinted towards the stairs. Bucky kicked the grenade to the other side of the room and pulled Natasha's limp body to him, trying his best to protect both of them from the blast.
Outside the base, Yelena was supporting a limping Sam when Bucky walked out from the base, Natasha thrown over his shoulder. Steve was wiping blood from his mouth, all of them defeated and frustrated. Yelena rushed to check on her sister, who was still out like a light, as they crammed up back on the jet. Bucky placed Natasha carefully on a stretcher as Friday did a full scan.
“Vital signs are stable. BP 112 over 76, heart rate 92, saturating 98 on room air. No signs of bleeding or fracture”, the AI informed them just as Nat groaned and placed a hand to her head.
“Shit”, she hissed, Clint already glued to her side, prepping an IV.
“Ivankov is gone”, Steve stated, sighing in frustration. “Now he knows we are after him, he'll be more careful…”
“That Alpha chick is no joke”, Sam murmured under his breath, pointing at one of his wings which had been broken in three different places. He had a nose bleed and a cut to his jaw. “Fucking supersoldiers…”
Later on, as everyone was patched up and on heavy painkillers, the team gathered in the conference room once again.
“At least we got enough intel from the base thanks to Cap”, Tony pointed out, swiping through his tablet. “Friday, let's try to find any hints on where Ivankov may be hiding. He must've left a trail before running away.”
Bucky was silent, staring at his hands. He could feel Steve's eyes on him and then came the question.
“Buck… You got anything?”
He looked up at his best friend, feeling the sickening twist to his stomach.
“She's Ivankov's daughter.” Bucky's words got their attention. “I… I recognised her.”
“Wait… You're telling me that he turned his own daughter into that?” Sam inquired and Bucky sighed, nodding at him.
“I first saw her when she was a kid… Maybe five years old… I remember seeing her around the base in Siberia, he would bring her to the lab when they…” His voice trailing off was enough for them to understand. “He made her watch. The wipings, the training… Then they moved me to DC and I never saw her again. She must be 20 something now.”
“That's messed up”, Sam mumbled.
“Yeah and I just found her", Tony announced.
Bucky's eyes moved to stare at the holographic image that showed you.
Your eyes were hollow, deep circles around them, dry lips… You were just a shell. Your name appeared on the screen, along with detailed information over every single experiment you had ever gone through.
Supersoldier serum was just the tip of the iceberg, Ivankov made sure to test every limit of your body to find out the serum's full capacity. But you were not brainwashed like he was. There were no records of that, instead there was only one line in the file indicating that you were fully compliant due to family ties.
It made Bucky feel even worse.
“We can't risk this whole thing just because you think you can save her”, the words came from Tony, who was staring at Bucky with the most serious expression anyone has ever seen in the billionaire's face. “I'm sorry, Barnes. But she won't be a priority.”
Bucky's jaw clenched involuntarily as he held back a good choice of words to say to Tony. But it was mostly out of frustration, he knew that the chances of saving you were slim.
“What's the plan?” He ended up asking, his head turning in Steve's direction.
His best friend seemed sad about it too but more resigned.
“We track him down. All of us this time. Prepare to face her and make sure he doesn't get away this time.”
All Bucky could do was nod.
By the time the alarm clock on the nightstand marked 3:27, Bucky was still wide awake. He had gotten a tablet and looked into your file. He read it over and over again, as if his brain could find any detail that might save you from a different fate the other supersoldiers kept by Hydra had.
There was not much about your life before you started living in Siberia. You were 27 years old, your mother raised you until you were four. And then he found out that she was eliminated by Ivankov himself so he could finally have custody.
Bucky wondered if you knew that. He wondered what lies Ivankov had been feeding you to get you to stay. But he was willing to help you.
When he finally escaped Hydra, he had Steve. Steve fought for him, fought the found family he had built within the team, risked everything, including his Captain America title... Just to save him.
You had no one.
Not even your own flesh and blood to offer you a second chance.
So he was gonna make you a priority, no matter what the consequences may be.
