Larry Barry Speaks!
Alright Burnfans! It’s Wednesday! Yeah...that’s right. Wednesfuckingday! It’s a lovely old day...school lunch is 80% more edible...I only have one class to teach...the sun is shining but the heat has gone out of it...and it’s SheWhoMustNotBeNamed’s Birthday Week!!! This means a full week of jolly celebrations...and who the fuck doesn’t like jolly celebrations? Every cunt loves to have a wee spot of fun don’t they?
Today, I had promised you some other examples of the Korea Times being pranked...but I’ve adjusted the schedule. Yeah. That’s right. Your virtual daddy (Pappa Burndog) is breaking promise just like your real daddy did...don’t cry though...Pappa Burndog still loves you. Today I’m going to reply to some stuff that was said to me yesterday over on Reddit by our old chum Larry Barry McCook (the fella who had the old “satire” blog and then wrote a prank article on the old Korea Times). See...Burndog likes the odd Reddit. Whether it’s the nerds over at r/Korea, your attention whores on r/RoastMe, or the loopy conspiracy nuts over on r/serialpodcast...I love a wee bit of redditing. It’s all true! That’s probably why I stopped blogging for so long...why blog when you can say that a fella looks like Bieber and Hitler had a baby? So...long story short, LBMcM hosted an AMA over on reddit, and trepid reporter that your boy is, I had to go over and see what the lad had to say. Now...it turns out...not surprisingly as I’m sure the cunt has two eyes, two ears and a heart...but he’s a Burnfan. This changes everything. From this point forward I’m going to be kind to LBMcM and afford him the free pass in life that all Burnfans deserve. Anyway...here’s what he said (and my replies)... ” Also, hi burndog! I am a fan, you called me on what I wrote and I hope you continue to call out others. I really do still think the city could use 24 hour subway's though.”
Not a bad start to be fair. The world abounds in Burnfans of every shape and size so I’m not stunned to hear that you’re a fan. if you were a TRUE fan you would have written “I am a loyal Burnfan”...but it’s close enough that I shan’t split butt hairs with you. It’s true that I called you out...and I call others out...why? Because I’m the hero the internet needs..not the hero it wants. To be fair, I had a go at you because it was there to be had. You put yourself out on front street with the article, so i figured I’d go back and get your last blog post, roast the fuck out of that like it was real, and then use the article the next day to make the point that shit’s not always what it seems. However, because the article got pulled and I don’t have it cached...I ended up having to change day two into a bit more of a look at Dokdo Is Ours’ historical punk work. “ I disagreed with your latest post today though.”
Size of the bollocks on this cunt! Fucking hell! From super fan to disagreement in one fell swoop! Fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!
“"It shows a large amount of faith in the Korea Times’ editorial team and their ability to do their jobs. This seems misguided." -> No, I did this because of a lack of faith in them doing their jobs.
"It also, and this is the cute part, appears that LBMcC thinks that he is the first person to fire off any old bullshit to the KT and have it published!" -> I had the idea to do this because of the amount of garbage articles being printed, not because I thought I'd be the first to pull this off.”
Your leap of faith was that thanks to your prank the editorial team at the KT would “think twice the next time they got an anonymously submitted article too good to be true.” Thinking that somehow being trolled/pranked/tricked/pwnd might make them do their jobs properly is adorable. The reason why I suggested that you thought you might be in pole position is because you thought that your article would be a lesson for them. if it wasn’t first, wouldn’t they have been schooled by the earlier examples? Or did you think that yours was so much better than the other attempts that it might open their eyes? “"This is a crucial part of the entire trolling experience. You need to tell the story and you need to screenshot and share that shit so that people know it was done…and done well. Otherwise…it all gets lost and fuckers forget/don’t give a fuck. With no screen shots of Larry Barry’s work, I won’t remember it in a month…or two months." -> I'm not so impressed by the Vanilla Ice/Dokdo is Ours prank. What was the purpoise, other than mushroom stamping a page of the Times website? Also, any manner of screenshotting it and putting it on a blog would give it away just as quickly. I think my article was taken down mainly because of the illigitimate picture, and then followed closely by the spreading outrage of the pice.Note that the URL still exists (http://koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/opinon/2015/09/137_186584.html) and you can still see all the comments, just like how the Kim Jong-un sexiest man alive article still kind of exists (http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2012/11/511_125019.html). Plus I had another publication write about me (http://www.10mag.com/sex-offender-photo-used-in-korea-times-opinion/#).”
Well...let me just say that what makes the Dokdo Is Ours (DIO) example worthy of not is that it was 6 years ago...which makes it a bit of a trend setter in regards to trolling the KT. What was the point of their troll? Probably the same as everyone who trolls the KT. They wanted to prove that the KT will publish any old shit. Let’s not forget however that DIO is a cunt. Do you see my glorious name on his blog roll? No? Me either. What the fuck is with that? Nobody in Korea is more staunch in their support of Korea’s claim to Dokdo than your old pal The Indefatigable Dragon Slayer. Nobody. There are cunts who live on Dokdo who give less fucks than I do. Now...I will temper my outrage a little because I know the person who writes DIO personally and consider him a friend...so I will just post this final request to the long defunct DIO...add Burndog on your blog roll or feel the hurt that comes from the Burnfan army suddenly championing the Japanese bid for the ocean stones we call Dokdo! Sorry...yeah....ummmm...you fucked up with the photo. It was a comedic bridge too far. Undermined the whole game. Yes 10 Mag mentioned you...but they probably have even less readers than The Korea Observer or this piece of shit blog. The fact that i mentioned you is the big story. Never forget that.
"All it took was a poorly written attempt at satire of a blog, and a short lived troll of the Korea Times. I enjoyed the long game. I enjoyed the trolling with the article…it was a nice try. The trouble with it was that it was way too obvious so it got pulled quicker than a pudding in a handjob orgy. Shit needs to be subtle. Toned down. You want it so that they know…but they don’t know." -> I wasn't in this to fool people for long, and I don't consider my article to be satire, it was parody, specifically of an uglier side of a lot of foreigners who live in Korea. The content of the article was irrelevant for my end goal, penetration testing the KT editorial section. The goal was to have the most ridiculous thing published, not the wittiest or most biting satire. I don't want them to have crap content online, and if this makes it harder for future trolls/pranksters/just plain incompetent people to get published, I'll be surprisedly extatic.
I always thought that parody was one of the many tools of satire rather than being something separate and alone. But that’s me splitting cock hairs and calling the spaghetti isn’t it? I think the article was a much better parody piece than the blog. I liked the article. it was just subtle enough that people were arguing against you even after the photo had been shown to be a sex offender. That was quality. It was ridiculous...but it was no more or less ridiculous than a LOT of the other shit that the KT publishes on that page on a daily basis. Shit...go back to 2011 and have a look at David Thiessen have a “Conversation With A Friend” which is clearly just him talking to himself. It’s pure comedy gold...and...here’s the kicker...it wasn’t a prank or trolling...it’s real. He wrote that without any comedic intent. So...if they publish “legitimate” shit like that...then there’s nothing that they wont publish. This will not change their editorial guidelines. Like you said...they published an article by The Onion as though it was news...yet they still have fake articles up there weekly. They’re too greedy/lazy/hungry for hits to ever change. “"not only did they pull it off with little fan fair" + "if you ever crawl out from under the Lioncourt Rocks" -> Are you trying to copy my imperfect mastery of English?”
This is a quick bus ride to Lol Town from a fella who wrote “suprisedly extatic” at the tail end of the preceding sentence. Also “illigitimate”. Look...I have the nearest grasp on the English language. i’m an ape. A moron. A buffoon. If you’re really a Burnfan then you’d be well aware of my lack of wordcraft. I can’t even spell wordcraft. Having a crack at me for hastily typing “fan fair” instead of fanfare and whatever the fuck you think is wrong with the second sentence is weak piss and I shan’t drink it! Not even a drop! So ends my chat with Larry Barry...a man with the least attended AMA in Reddit history. Tomorrow...I shall share some of the shit I was gonna share today...unless Laz Baz comes back again...then I might write to him. Who knows hey? The fun never stops in this crazy town!