#larspost

[veryfatiguedsupernova]

Just remembered the trauma of being a disabled person in a world that does not want you alive and isn't ashamed to admit it. Just remembered that class a year ago where my right to survive my birth and infancy was not so much debated as it was criticized. Just remembered that I'm never really going to get over that.

[veryfatiguedsupernova]

Just resisted saying “Sorry for being a downer” by saying “I’m glad we can be downers together.” You know what that is? Growth. And also friendship.

[veryfatiguedsupernova]

There’s a Bible verse about how people on the wrong side of Judgement Day will “walk like the blind,” and my thought was “That’s fine, just give them canes, maybe a few months of O&M training, and they’ll get around fine. They might still bump their heads sometimes, but they’ll get the hang of it.”

[veryfatiguedsupernova]

I was talking with my mom because I’m having a back pain flare up and I also happen to be low on both Motrin and Aleve. She’s at work when things are open, so I would have to find someone else to take me to the store to get the meds.

I was leaning toward just suffering the pain instead of asking someone to take me because “I want to be a good friend, not someone who is always asking for things.”

My mom said not to associate those two things together. She said, “Being a good friend is being a good friend, and asking for help when you need it is asking for help.”

I ended up asking my grandmother to take me and inviting her to lunch. She said yes, so we’re going tomorrow. This conversation with my mom gave me a lot to think about in terms of how I view my role in a friendship or any other kind of relationship.

[veryfatiguedsupernova]

Should I change my title from “Welcome to My Twisted Mitochondria” to “This Mitochondria Empty: Yeet”?

[veryfatiguedsupernova]

Wow, I sure do have some depressing posts on here. Sorry folks.

[veryfatiguedsupernova]

[Image description: a black color block with red scratchy cursive writing that says “What did Lazarus know?”]

If you use this for anything please credit me!

[veryfatiguedsupernova]

[Image description: a blue color block with white cursive text that reads “Prase the Lord, you may be seated.”]

I grew up in a “nondenominational” Christian church. You had to stand during the songs, which could go however long the band felt led to play. I had major chronic fatigue. My parents said I could sit, but internalized ableism said I could not. Sometimes the most joy I felt would be when it was finally time to sit.

I came up with this line then because I considered writing a poem, but I never wrote it. So here it is in its true form.

If you use this for anything, please credit me!