macon frederick-osbourne · 25, solicitor
first-born son of two posh and successful london bankers, macon was the largely unsuccessful test run for their foray into parenthood / his parents stepped in more and more with every kid they had, and by their fourth and final they had transformed from absentee to helicopter parents / instead of whining and crying about it, mac used the resources available to him and got involved in every single activity that he possibly could - and made sure he was the best at every one of them / ego on gryffindor but ambition on slytherin / always had an i’m not here to make friends approach to life and still hasn’t really processed that it’s made him a really lonely, bitter person / sort of believes he’s the only person who will ever care about himself and self-sabotages everything remotely good that comes into his life! / king of mansplaining / the asshole that overdresses for everything and makes you feel bad for dressing appropriately! / claims he doesn’t like music, only listens to film scores / dude stop reciting kierkegaard you’re scaring the hoes / recently finished up his legal education and is diving into the fascinating and exhilarating world of ~corporate law~ and is having a ~super fun time~ being bossed around and belittled and is definitely not going to have an absolute meltdown soon! / needs i’m going to be putting up a big friend group request soon so keep an eye out for that!! also if anyone is interested in making any of his siblings please come at me, as long as they’re <25 it’d be totally good! additionally, if anyone wants to give me one guy friend that’s either grown up with him and has lived in the same world or who met him in college and is the singular reason he hasn’t lost his mArBlEs!
joel niederman · 22, yoloing it
tw: parental death / average kid, average house, average family / still, he’s always been happy - happy to be normal, to be mediocre, to be invisible for the most part / he never had a ton of friends growing up, but he was never alone / never one or the extreme or the other, and he was okay with that! wasn’t mega smart or musically talented or athletically gifted, so when time came to go to university, he pushed it off / his gap year involved smoking too much weed and working a receptionist job at a member of his extended family’s accounting firm / everything was normal until it wasn’t, when he got a frantic call from an uncle saying that his parents had been in an accident / his parents were gone before he even got to the hospital and he had to face the harsh reality that he was now a directionless orphan / a flip switched that day and he told himself he was going to make his life matter from that point on, to live instead of just exist~ and all of that other cliche bullshit! / he's still the same idiotic stoner goofball he always was, he’s just... louder now / much louder / he said Fuck That Noise to giving a fuck what anyone thought about him, dedicated all his time to doing something that he either enjoyed or that made him a better version of himself. so, like, watch out bitches ! / needs maybe one sibling that he was never close with (maybe they’re significantly older than he is?) and now they’re trying to navigate that relationship in the wake of their parents’ death, people to fight with because naturally boy thinks he’s fucking tyler durden now, people he knew in school and interact with him now and are like sorry whomst are u ??
brogan french · 24, aspiring writer/barista (?)
an only child of an artsy, sweet older lesbian couple / who really knows if brogan’s really a shy wallflower in actuality or if living the same lifestyle as her mothers forced her to mature and become the wise-beyond-her-years girl she is / big miss honey energy / got teased growing up for being the horse girl of insects and needless to say was never very lucky in the social life department / it’d be a flat out lie to say that she never let it get to her, because along with being shy and sweet she was also ridiculously sensitive / still, she literally counted down the days until she could go off to university and leave behind the cruel kids who’d made her life hell / well something happened during sixth form, and although shy and awkward still, a select few people started to actually think she was pretty / tl;dr she fell in love, got dumped, went of to school for a year before she missed her family and came back home to study in brighton / now, she’s attempting to embark on a journey of self-love and self-discovery but after so much learned trauma it’s really hard! / would much rather love other people tbh / would stop a car for a caterpillar if she saw it on the road / needs truly everything but maybe one childhood friend that’s just always been there for her, new friends that can help her find herself when she doesn’t know how!!, coworkers at some little itty bitty shop where they’re in way too close of quarters, fellow writers because that is her dream job
