#lastpost?

[televoid-caddy-blog]

HIATUS???

yes this account is on extended hiatus due to recent family loss. along with that there is a chance i won’t be updating this blog anymore mostly due to me recently reviewing the character and realizing that i made a LOT of flaws while writing the storyline. anyways, if you need me my new/re-vamped personal blog is @foodlenn and my instagram is foodlenn as well. hopefully i can return to this, but until then i bid you all ado. 

[beargrant]

Postmortem

Everyone would find their own answer for a question at the end of their lives.

It's still amazing now that I think about it again. Those who'd usually fight when they're still alive will meet each other in the afterlife, and those who're long separated from one and another will also meet each other at the same time.

Now I don't know why I'm writing something like this myself, but I've felt even more reflective than I did like..last week? My birthday's in 3 days too, so someone can patch me up if it's a coincidence or not.

I hope not.

The only fear that I have before I die are meeting those that I've made hostile with through these last 9 months of nothing but pain that I have to go through. I've lost almost everyone because of what I’ve impulsively did, but I've learned that life still has to go on.

Most people have their own last wishes. There's surely a lot that I could think of for myself before I die.

I wish I could meet the person that really changed the way I live before I die, even for one last time. I've been friends with this person since..God knows how long now, but I've felt an even more stronger connection even when we were introduced to each other by a French-Man-That-I-Knew-And-Go-Way-Back-With.

Reminiscing the days that I've spent together with her makes me feel guilty of causing a problem that are still happening up until now between us. There's a lot of things that I wished I could've fixed without even hurting one and another. Ironically enough it all involves with words we've said and I happen to like a song by Skylar Grey with the same name, so it hits me home even more harder.

Though I do know for a fact that you didn't get to choose when're you going to get hurt. It just naturally happens, and the only thing that you'd get to choose from pain are picking who'd be able to do so.

Being hurt by someone who've taught me to love one and another even if I don't believe in love anymore is a choice that I'll never forget because I've learned more about myself after that. I'm still thinking that I'm not perfect enough and have a lot more to learn about myself.

I wish I could feel the same connection that I felt when I firstly met her.

Though I also do wish that I'd get to meet my “dead homies”, as so you may call it. I've cherished every single one of them even if I didn't get to meet them all in real life. I'm sure I'm still halfway learning about the answer to my own question.

@magical-girl-delaney