Furniture and Magazines
You really got me
This time
I'm down and worn
Like an old easy chair
You're still burning me
Infinite hours past
My eyes still sting
It hurts to blink
———-
What's wrong
I snipe at you
Because I read you
Like a cheap magazine
Oh I feel it on my tongue
My apology
But you taunt me
With your spiteful repose
I look away
Silent because I mean it
Intent on the door
I pull closed between us
————
You don't get to do that
Assume my forgiveness
After I cried myself
To my long scarred knees
Darkness I haven't seen
In so many years
Feeling like a sweet balm
On my chapped existence
You don't get to do that
Appeal to my nature
When I sob whispered
Prayers for a merciful release
Prayers that echoed
Into my useless hands
Painfully pulsing life
Onto a face already dead
————
I do not pray or beseech
That which I do not believe
I revel in relief of the sweet void
Shadow resounding echoes of my heart
I do not understand my purgatory
I do not understand my hope
I only feel the thousand cuts
Of longing to be a star again
———-
I think of you asleep
Ignorant in your bliss
Perversion borne of salty tears
Like Lot himself
It makes me burn
White hot coals
Immature self pity
And a true feeling of evil
———-
You in your feigned innocence
Leaving my reality behind
For another which I will never share
While I'm left perceiving this one alone
I am not unfamiliar
With feelings of insignificance
The face of my desolation
A wall left unsanded
I have grown used to the quiet
The solitude heavy
Curling around my heart
Like the Cheshire Cat
Emptiness purring within
Luring my soul
Into a precarious contentment
Of smirked agnosticism
———-
So tomorrow, no
I will not listen
To your perfunctory
Apologetic afterthoughts
Unthought at best
Calculated at worst
A rote recital
Of hollow syllables
————-
I will not be pacified
By tired words
Wearied by their own use
Repetitive and toxic
Nor will I be stymied
By clumsy love crumbs
I have fed on them before
My insides left empty
—————-
I'd rather sit here
Alone in the dark
With that blessed door
Between us
~Krista Pura
January 2018