Oct 9, 2015
Canadian Beer Sucks
There is a larger question here about what good is Canada. We will sidebar that for a later date.
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Canadian Beer Sucks
There is a larger question here about what good is Canada. We will sidebar that for a later date.
"Hey, how’s it going? Want to hang out tonight?"
"No thanks."
"No thanks? Do you have plans?"
"I’m staying in and reading."
"So why don’t I come over, and we can, uh, read together?"
"No thanks. Listen, I gotta go. Have a nice evening."
"Hold on. I don’t understand. Why don’t you want to go out?"
"Well, just now you didn’t ask me out, but, also, you said you’d call me two weeks ago to make plans for a second date. You never called, or emailed, or texted or anything so I made other plans."
"I can’t believe you’d rather read than spend time with me. I’m a really busy guy. I can’t be expected to follow through."
"Do you eat a lot of fried chicken?" "You know that I'm a vegetarian." "So you don't eat a lot of fried chicken?" "No. I don't eat meat." "Did you eat a lot of fried chicken growing up?" "No." "Are you sure?"
"So what did you do this weekend?"
"It was Valentine’s Day and you said you were busy so it was pretty chill. How was your weekend?"
"Oh, great! My mom and I went to a hotel for the weekend."
"Have you ever heard of Susan Powter?" "From the infomercials in the 1990s? Yeah, why?" "I think you'd find her motivational. Maybe she'd help you lose weight."
"Why don't we meet at that coffee shop around the corner from you?" "Sure, but which one do you mean?" "Ellie C. Ann" "Ellie C. Ann?" "Yeah, you know the one that's on the south side of the street at the corner." "Oh, Elysian!" "No. It's pronounced Ellie C. Ann" "I'm pretty sure it's Elysian. Like Elysian Fields." "No. I asked one time, and the barista said it was Ellie C. Ann." "Um, okay, but I'm pretty sure that it's Elysian." "Don't be stupid."
"I had such a great time on our first date. I haven’t met someone I connected with like that in a long time. It was really awesome. Do you want to come over and play Dungeon and Dragons with me and my friends?" "I’ve never played that before. As long as you don’t mind that I’ll have to learn how to play…" "We can totally teach you. It’s not a problem." "Okay, great." "And one more thing. I just want to be friends. I don’t think we connected."
"Thanks for letting me shower. I didn’t realize I’d get such a workout playing Ultimate before I got here. I usually don’t shower at a girl’s place so soon." "No worries." "Yeah, so, I used the last of that body wash stuff you had. You need to get more." "The Aveda? I got it two days ago. It’s totally empty?" "Yeah. That stuff. I had to use a lot of it to get it to lather like my soap at home. Then I used that blue pouffy thing in there. It lathered more then. Anyway, you should try a different brand. You must really go through that stuff."