Headcanons of how would (Kuroshitsuji) Sebastian, Lau, William, Undertaker, and Agni react to their shy crush confessing their feelings even though it's obvious how nervous they are please?
Headcanons Nervous
😈 Sebastian Michaelis x Reader 🐈⬛
Sebastian has always been watching you closely. He had a lot of different feelings about you, and he liked watching you and your emotions. You seemed to feel his gaze and tried to avoid him. He assumed that your shyness was the reason. You tried not to be alone with him, even if you had to come up with any reason for it, but your attempts to escape seemed surprisingly sweet to him, as well as how nervous you were around him
You tried your best not to be alone with him, but late at night you came to the kitchen yourself when the others weren't there. He was planning to clean up and finish for today, and when he saw you, he was pleasantly surprised. Sebastian smiled at you, asking you what happened. He saw how nervous you were, but he kept smiling as he watched you. He was wondering what you were going to do and why you were so nervous. However, what you said really pleased him. You quickly told him that you were in love with him and tried to leave, but Sebastian stopped you from doing so, continuing to smile
The butler was smiling at you, and there was a sly spark in his eyes. You were very confused and even more nervous, but you did not dare to look at him, fearing his reaction to your confession, but instead of cold words, you heard his voice saying that he was very pleased to hear your confession. Sebastian understood that he had some other things that he had to finish, which meant that you needed to talk about your confession a little later, which he told you, telling you to wait for him to return until he finished everything and came to you so that you could talk
Sebastian knew that you would wait until he was done and then you could talk. He intended to tell you at least some of the feelings he had for you, knowing full well that he couldn't tell you everything. You, like everyone else, didn't know about his demonic nature, but that didn't mean he intended to keep quiet and keep everything to himself. Especially now that you've made the first move yourself, which has made it much easier for him
👓 William T. Spears x Reader 📑
William was always strict with others. He didn't let his subordinates down and didn't like it when they were distracted by personal matters during work. He usually had no complaints about you. You were quiet and shy, but you took a responsible approach to your work. The only times you had problems were when he was around. William didn't understand why you started acting so strangely when he was around you. You were distracted and nervous, and he concluded that his reputation as a strict boss was the reason for this. Maybe you were afraid that he would get mad at you, but he wasn't going to do it. Even if you did something wrong, he couldn't really get mad at you because of the conflicting feelings he had for you
Sometimes you worked together, and this time the situation was the same. He watched from the sidelines as you handled the work, and after making sure that everything was in order, he was about to leave once the work was done, but you quietly called him and asked if you could talk. Your question was unexpected for him. You usually talked to anyone but him. William looked at you carefully, keeping a calm expression on his face and waiting for you to say something. It was obvious to him how nervous you were. It would seem that a little more, and because of this you could fall from the roof on which you were standing. Taking a deep breath, you quickly told him that you were in love with him. William's face remained calm, but inside he had a lot of feelings that were not going to give him peace now, not after your confession
You looked down, afraid to look at him, and William realized how absurd the situation must have seemed to him. You weren't supposed to have feelings, but he and you did. You were in love with each other and he really wanted you to know about it. When he looked at you again, he saw that you were still nervous. You just couldn't bring yourself to calm down while he continued to be silent, and William knew that he would only make it worse for you if he didn't tell you something. It was already worth a lot of effort for you to admit it, and he wasn't going to make you even more nervous
He quietly said that he also has feelings for you. When he saw your surprised expression, he realized that you clearly didn't expect this from him. You expected anything but a reciprocal confession. A blush appeared on your cheeks and your lips stretched into an embarrassed smile. William reminded you that it was time for you to get back, and it really was, but you were hoping that later you could talk about how you felt about each other
☠️ Undertaker x Reader ⚰️
Undertaker has always been glad to see you at my place. You came to him and spent a lot of time with him, but each time you seemed surprisingly embarrassed to him. You were like this the first time you met, and it would seem that nothing has changed for you in all this time. You were quiet, shy, and rarely looked at him. He understood that if you were uncomfortable around him, you simply wouldn't come to him, and realizing this gave Undertaker hope that perhaps you had the same romantic feelings for him as he did for you, or, at the very least, you treated him like a friend with whom You were having a good time, and you were just too shy to talk to him boldly
You came to him once again and Undertaker greeted you with a smile and an offer to drink tea and biscuits with him. But you were even more worried than usual. He saw the blush on your cheeks and the way you nervously clutched the cup of tea he gave you in your fingers. Something was obviously bothering you, and he asked you about it. If something bad had happened, he would have tried to help you, even if you didn't realize that he could have done it, but when he heard your quiet voice, he listened, waiting for you to tell him how you quarreled with someone or that someone hurt you. But instead, he heard your quiet confession of romantic feelings for him
He thought about what you said for a few seconds. His hope that you had reciprocal feelings for him was not in vain, and he was pleased with this. His smile seemed to widen. He saw how nervous you continued to be, and he was pleased that despite this, you confessed your feelings to him anyway, and he wanted to respond appropriately so that you wouldn't even think that your feelings might not be reciprocated
Undertaker pulled you to him, hugging you and, putting his chin on top of your head, he said with a smile on his lips that he was in love with you too. He could feel you grabbing his clothes with your hands and he felt happy. His words caused warmth in your heart, just as yours caused the same feelings in his heart. He hoped that nothing would change even if you found out about him the truth that he was hiding from you. He wasn't going to put you in danger if he had the ability to keep you away from it, but now he couldn't completely distance himself from you. It was beyond his strength
🐉 Lau x Reader 🪷
Lau has always found your shy personality very endearing. He often deliberately embarrassed you and watched with a smile as the blush on your cheeks flared up with renewed vigor. Your feelings for him were obvious to him, but he was in no hurry to tell you that he knew about everything and that your feelings were mutual. Lau enjoyed watching you feel embarrassed and was curious to know if you had the determination to confess to him or if he would have to make the first move in your relationship himself
When you came back to him, he noticed something unusual, but not very unexpected for him. You were more excited than usual. There was embarrassment on your face, you didn't look up at him, and your fingers were looking for something to squeeze. He watched you with a smile and asked you what happened, what made you so nervous. Lau was well aware of the reason for this, but he was interested in watching you. When you told him in a quiet, trembling voice that you were in love with him, his smile became almost like that of a well-fed cat. He was more than happy with your answer
He pulled you to him, sitting you on his lap and thinking about what you said. He's been waiting a long time for you to finally come clean about your feelings. Sometimes it seemed to him that you weren't going to do it at all. You were very shy, and seeing how nervous you were, Lau understood how much effort it took you to make this confession, and he wasn't going to let you regret it. He could practically hear your heart pounding in your chest, and to finally relax a little, he kissed your temple and told you that your feelings were mutual
Lau wasn't going to rush it, knowing full well how shy you were, but the fact that the first step had finally been taken meant that he no longer had to hide so much from you. He could kiss you and hug you, ignoring the disapproving stares of others, just enjoying the sight of your flushed, embarrassed face. Lau was sure that he had been patient long enough to finally get at least a small opportunity to show you his feelings
👊 Agni x Reader 🍛
Agni was good at keeping his feelings for you to himself. He was reserved and polite, not wanting to scare you by saying he was in love with you. He saw how shy you were, how nervous you were around him, and Agni didn't want you to feel uncomfortable around him, even if it meant that he had to keep his feelings for you to himself and maintain an exceptionally friendly relationship with you, which was also difficult because of how much you I was embarrassed next to him
He was surprised that you told him that there was something you wanted to say to him and that it definitely needed to be said in private. He saw how nervous you were and Agni was worried that something bad had happened and you were afraid to say it in front of someone other than Agni. You went into a quiet room where it was just you and he just wanted to ask you about what happened, but you beat him to it, quickly muttering that you were in love with him. You were nervous, you were obviously very nervous, but despite that you confessed your feelings to him anyway
You ran away before he could respond to your feelings. Your words shocked him. He didn't expect you to have feelings for him in return. Agni thought that you felt uncomfortable around him, which was only reinforced by your shyness, and therefore he tried to soften your interactions with his politeness. But as it turned out, you, on the contrary, were in love with him and were nervous precisely because you were next to someone for whom you had strong tender feelings. The realization brought a blush to his cheeks and he hurried to find you to tell you how he felt about you. He wanted to tell you what he had been hiding for so long
Your words and the fact that you, despite how embarrassed you were and how nervous you were, still confessed to him meant a lot to him. Agni wanted you to know that he had the same tender feelings for you. He wanted to tell you about how long he was silent and how hard his heart was pounding next to you. He wanted to tell you a lot, but first he had to find you and just confess his feelings for you
cw: Sensitive themes, prejudice, xenophobia, manipulation, slight obsession, little nsfw, angst, murder, dark themes, stalking. (don't forget the era in which the story is set)
━━━━━━✧ 🦢 ✧━━━━━━
Lau thinks about how peculiar all those people around him are, he seemed to have the affinity to notice the hypocrisy of the people around him. They all appeared so neat and so modest, what would they be like behind closed doors? Surely the men would stop being as gentlemen as they took it for granted in public and the women would stop being a lady as they tried to be all the time, behind closed doors it was another thing, but Lau had always believed that people in England were very peculiar.
Of course, he couldn't deny that the balls were entertaining, especially when the young Earl Phantomhive was there with his indispensable butler, everything seemed to go perfectly. The tables with the best dishes and food of the best quality, the mansion shining without a single spot of dust, the excellent decoration, how fascinating.
Ladies at balls were not something that caught Lau's attention, being surrounded by women was something he was used to, so at balls he didn't usually ask a woman to dance, maybe chat a little with other men of status, have a drink and stay there, but not court.
It was curious when he saw you, he had never seen you at any of the balls or any other event, but he assumed you were close to the Phantomhive family when he saw you talking to the count. Weren't you lovely? You seemed to shine in such a beautiful dress and a choice of such beautiful colors, from his place Lau could guess that you only wore the finest and most expensive fabrics. He could guess the time it took you to choose such a delicate hairstyle, the perfect curls that fell behind your back, the bun tied perfectly without a single loose hair, the perfect decoration with precious pearls around your hair, although surely it hadn't been done by you but by some maid. You looked radiant.
There was no other way to do it, if he wanted to talk to you he had to ask you for a dance, that was how it was there, it would be too reckless if he just approached you to talk, very ungentlemanly. Besides, since you had arrived you seemed to be close to an older man and an older woman with whom you were talking, they were surely your parents, you had very similar features to each one, he should make a good impression at least, where would his manners be if he didn't?
Your eyes seemed to inspect him before accepting his invitation, your gloved hands timidly touched his as you followed him to the center of the room along with the other couples who were already there, of course, it would be unacceptable if you refused him, what a rude lady to reject the invitation of such a kind man. A perfect occasion to talk to you, he had to take advantage of it.
It was easy to start a conversation while the dance was slow and not that tiring, Lau found out that you were the only daughter of a high class marriage and of very good social status, although you couldn't always be present at many events due to the little time you had for other tasks, although it also seemed that you didn't love the idea of dances, but it seemed that your parents were the ones who most wanted you to find a man who would become your husband, that is why they made sure that you went with them to the events.
After finishing the dance Lau offered to take you to his seat to continue talking while keeping his big smile the whole time. It seemed strange to you when as soon as you sat down there was a young woman next to you, he nonchalantly told you that it was Ran-mao referring to her as his sister, however, there were touches on both parts such as Lau touching her legs and holding her close to him or her hugging him by the arm from time to time. You did not say anything, but perhaps your expressions already gave a lot to say.
Still, Lau had seemed like a charming man to you, he had charisma and a constant cheerfulness, ignoring the fact that sometimes he used to go off topic or say meaningless words, but that was okay, that didn't bother you. He seemed to be a good supporter, a noble with a good status and earnings and who seemed to be easy to deal with, you had liked him.
Your parents not so much, as soon as you stayed too long with him, your mother came to you while giving some quick excuse to take you with her, quickly saying goodbye to Lau while giving him a contemptuous look and taking you out of there.
Lau knew it right away, he could pretend on the outside, but he wasn't stupid, he knew exactly the typical looks. Your parents hadn't liked him, money wasn't the problem but where it came from. He cared little about what your parents liked, he was interested only in you.
He got distracted, he snuck in, who knows, but what he did know was what was going on out there with your family, while Lau was out of the party he could see your mother walking quickly towards the carriage with you while she frowned and scolded you.
"Don't get together with that man again." "He's not good for you, we already have someone for you." Hearing the words, Lau could only raise his eyebrows slightly, but he seemed more interested in the fact that they had already found someone for you than in what they were talking about him. They already had someone for you, that had been fast, the fact of imagining another man courting you made his smile disappear.
After that day of the dance, Lau kept investigating everything about you and your family, he couldn't deny that the fact that you were already engaged to another man made him bitter, so he took action. It wasn't for nothing that he worked in the underworld, he could use it to his advantage after all. He was already there in your life, even if they had only danced and chatted for a while, Lau was sure that he would know more about you than the guy you were going to get engaged to.
Strangely, while your parents were traveling in a carriage, it broke down, causing them to have an accident where neither of them managed to survive. On top of that, the suitor you were engaged to had stopped sending you letters and had disappeared completely.
You were devastated, your parents had died, you would no longer have the funds to live on since, being a woman, all of your family's fortune would pass into the hands of your distant cousin and the truth is that he would not share a single cent with you. The man you were engaged to had disappeared, you had tried to go to his parents or even the servants but no one had dared to say anything about his whereabouts, which left you baffled. Maybe he had backed out after hearing about your parents' death, was that it? Now that you no longer had any fortune had he declined?
Satisfied by the events that had happened, Lau knew that it was the perfect time to intervene, now that you were helpless and vulnerable, he could take you easier. He showed up at your parents' funeral, paying his respects, and as soon as it was over he offered to take you home in his carriage, although on the way there was hardly any chatter, he had decided to wait for the right moment. As soon as you were arriving at your destination he starts talking and proposing an offer that he knew would benefit you: if you married him you would no longer have to worry about money or anything else, none of that, he would take care of it. You just had to marry him, just that.
You were not in a position to choose, it was that or be left adrift with nothing, but you thought that after all the man had been so friendly and kind that he would be your salvation, which made you quickly accept.
Oh, how wrong you were, if you had known what he was really like, if you had known what he would do, if only you had known... But you had already accepted and once you fall into the web it is difficult to get out of it. Lau took you as a naive young girl, so naive that you thought of nothing else but clinging to the first float you saw in the water and he wanted you, he wanted that naive young girl.
It was nice at first, after his marriage, you moved in with him, but there started to be little things that you began to notice that made you doubt if he was the real man you thought you knew.
Why was he always smoking to the point where you had to open the windows in the house so you wouldn't drown? He had never smoked before. Why was Ran-mao always sitting on his lap and even when you did things that were just for you as a married couple she was always there? She was supposed to be just his sister. Why did he suddenly disappear without saying anything to the point of sometimes not coming back to the house and leaving you alone? Or why did he seem to become more irritable when you did something he didn't want? He was supposed to be a good man, right?
And when you had enough, you decided to find out for yourself. Silently following him as he left the house until you reached a strange place that went beyond the dangerous alleys, above the door of the place there was a sign with something written in Chinese, although you did not understand what it said so you continued on entering the place.
Too much smoke, too many shameless men who seemed to look you up and down while they had scantily clad women by their side. The further you went into the place the murkier everything became, you did not even want to know what was behind the many doors of the place where strange noises were heard.
Then there you saw him, smoking carefree, several women surrounded him including Ran-mao who was sitting on his lap. Seeing you, Lau puts his pipe aside and releasing the smoke held in his mouth he looks at you opening his eyes a little more seriously. He knew it, he knew that you had followed him. As soon as all the women beside him left and the two of you were left, Lau approaches you in a nonchalant manner as you begin to ask about what kind of place it was, surely he didn't work in what he once told you, no, it was something darker.
Then, when all you want is explanations, you don't expect Ran-mao to appear from behind injecting a needle into your neck causing you to quickly lose consciousness.
Even after you've followed him and discovered something he didn't plan to tell you, it only makes everything worse between you. Lau's violent tendencies aren't frequent but when they appear they aren't pleasant, he implements them with you.
Using his needles in a way that was not gentle on you until you cried was just the tip of the iceberg, each thing he did seemed to be worse than the other. Locking you in the room of the house without food or water or even seeing the sunlight for days until you knock on the door apologizing for anything just to be let out. You wouldn't go out anywhere, not when he knew you might run away or tell someone, not that he cared since he could use his contacts and make the people involved disappear and find you right away, but he preferred to save himself all that, so he doesn't let you go out alone, you would only go out with him to some event, but you would stay in your place, as his good wife.
Now, being together or not, he would want to satisfy his needs from time to time, just accept it and let it go, that's how it is. Let him fuck you in his opium den, the companions that surround him are not important, he wants you. Let him take you to the edge until you can't go back to yourself and only think about him. Let him raise you and fill you until you can have an heir like in all marriages, because that's what they are, he's your husband and you're his wife, you're united, there's nothing wrong with that.
Lau is aware, he knows that you know that he is working on things that are not so pleasant, on things that are too low to say out loud, he knows that from the first moment he saw you his intentions with you have not been good and they never will be, but don't blame him, you are special to him, he can't let you go, even if it hurts you.
Headcanons about Undertaker, William, and Lau with short gender neutral s/o?
Note: As always, thank you for the request!
Warning: Gender neutral reader.
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 439
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~Undertaker~
He likes to make jokes here and there.
Might watch you struggle a bit to get a good laugh, but ends up helping you.
Does he change anything in his home to accommodate you?
Nah. He doesn't.
He doesn't like changing too many things around, plus you know him and his obsession with laughing.
Be aware that if someone else cracks jokes about you being short, he's going to laugh.
Undertaker eventually apologizes and tells you that the only reason why some people might make fun of you is because they're jealous.
They're jealous that they don't fit perfectly in his arms the way you do and that he can easily kiss you when he's sitting while you're standing.
If someone does take their teasing too far, he won't be laughing anymore.
And you know that isn't a good thing.
~William~
Doesn't think much of it.
Honestly forgets about yours and his height difference.
So when you're over his place, everything is set to his level.
William does eventually remember to put certain things at a more convenient placement.
He's a serious man so he wouldn't be making any jokes about you being short.
But will poke a person with his shears if they offend you.
Treats you like an equal, but again, forgets that there are certain things you need help with.
Like that time when he asked you to grab the tea from one of the cabinets and of course it happens to be at the highest point.
When he comes to check what was taking a while, he sees you attempting to dangerously climb on a chair to reach the tea.
Yeah, he wasn't going to let that happen again.
Also, when you're both cuddling, he secretly likes when you embrace him from behind. He's not sure why, but it feels comforting for him.
~Lau~
Short people problems? What are those?
Lau made sure to make everything convenient to you.
He's had people readjust cabinets and shelves in yours and his home.
Even if something was out of reach, there was always someone nearby to help you. Lau's told you multiple times to use them so you didn't have to trouble yourself.
If you're both out in town, he has his assistants following you and him with the purpose of aiding you.
Lau tells you constantly to hold onto him whenever you're out together.
Feels that people might take advantage of your height.
You bit your lip as you look at the most biggest high rise building on town. Kong Rong Corporations, one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in all of the world.
Having too many companies extend their hand onto you offering opportunities for your impressive skills it seemed like a fantasy. But you are an indescisive person and ended up making a roulette to make the choice on which company to apply.
That's when you made the dumbest decision of your whole existence.
I did not knew what i was getting into.
Just playing a long with it you were offered an secretarial position that was weirdly a high salary despite you were new.
It paid a whopping $130,000 a year. You can't say no to that money after you paid off your debts.
You have read and watch in the news that the CEO, whos name you forgot is an really impressive person whom donates to charity and reportedly is a playboy and the heir of the company Kong Rong.
Well the nasty thibg about him he was rumored to be a hard person that's why many people quit on his company.
I don't really now since the media is full of trolls right now.
Setting that aside, the company's boss seemed to have weird taste. Noticing as i first went inside the building every employee was dressed in a casual suit and pants.
Meanwhile i look like an first lady watching my husband spout nonsensical lies and stand there being pretty.
But you did not mind the cute gray suit top and the pencil skirt you are wearing. But you must admit these loubotins are like daggers going through my feet.
Entering the department you will be managing you get all those kind of weird concerned looks.
The same goes as for everyone else you met.
"Why does everyone stare at me like i'm going to get killed or something?" you smiled akwardly and asked the girl showing you around.
"W-well that's beca-."
The girl suddenly stopped by a smack coming across her face causing her to fall down on her butt.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" i shouted as i help the girl stand up.
You glared at the woman. Yet you were so taken aback causing your jaw to drop.
An beautiful asian girl wearing red satin cheongsam and her hair perfectly in fingered waves and angelic face glared at you back.
Your eyes widened as you also recognized who she was. The famous supermodel and designer Ran Mao!
"You must be miss y/n l/n, you are late follow me."
Ran Mao said, she was different in the magazines and the news. I thought she was kind and shy but this was shocking and disappointing at the same time.
"U-uh miss-."
"Get this report done before 8pm tonight, it's about the report on our monthly sales and stocks, chop chop."
She said and pointed over at my workspace filled with paperwork.
"And, also if the clock strucked at exactly 7:30, do give coffee to the top floor for Lau."
"Uh sure, on thing is this office mine?"
"Yes it is."
She replied annoyed before shutting my office door.
Looks like im going to work the shit out to get my 130 grand.
_____
Typing the third to last page of your report you are already exausted. Lights are starting to go off in each departments as each employees clock out.
Standing up to your feet all sleepy and getting your 8th glass of coffee on the day you sighed.
You looked at your watch and suddenly remembered what the supermodel has said to you. Give a "Lau" guy some coffee when the it turned 7:30.
"FUCK."
You hurriedly stirred the coffee and went to the elevator headed top floor.
You were out of breathe when you reached the top floor.
There it leaded only to one big hallway and one big wooden door.
Knocking three times you said.
"Coffee for Lew?Lu?Lo???? Aha LAU!"
You can't prounounce the name well but managed.
"You may come in."
A man's voice behind the door.
"I-i'm sorry sir i'm late a bit, hehe this is your coffee."
You put the coffee on his table and sighed in relief as you've seen he's not mad.
The swivel chair turned around and there appeared a handsome tall man smirking.
You blushed, expecting an old fat man to welcome you.
"Is this the coffee?"
He said while stirring it.
"Yes sir."
"Why don't you come closer dear."
His deep husky voice gave you the chills and have no choice but to come closer.
In a flash the warm coffee was already in your white polo shirt drenching you.
"WHAT THE F-."
You stared at the man in disbelief as you can't believe what just happened.
"You are approximately 4 minutes late miss y/n."
he said coldly before laying the coffee cup again on his table.
"I'm very sorry sir, i was-."
Your eyes fell to the ground and come across at a shiny thing. A golden name plate which engraved the world "Lau, CEO of Kong Rong."
"Do you realized your mistake now darling?"
Still shocked from what just happened he just smiled and said.
(In desperate need of work, you end up at one of Lau’s whorehouses where he puts you through a test to make sure you’re “up for the job”. He considers it quality assurance, since the women he picks to represent his business aren’t just any ordinary prostitutes who roam the streets. But, who knows… You might consider yourself lucky to become one of his favorites.)
content warning: 18+ sexual content! minors DNI! reader is an orphan and a virgin, noncon/dubcon, degradation, drugs, mentions of underaged girls doing sexwork, mention of abortion, force/violence, we out here in 1889 london like it’s not exactly a good situation to be in as a woman yknow what im sayin, lau’s kinda dark and scary like definitely tapping more into that side of him.
***
In 1889, being a woman in London wasn’t easy. The corsets were suffocating, marriage was the highest standard you could aim to achieve, and you weren’t expected to speak unless spoken to.
And that was if you were rich.
If you were among the many who were unfortunate enough to be living in the danger and filth of the downtown slums, things were much, much worse.
And you, fresh out of the orphanage you’d grown up in and only a few hours past turning eighteen, were anxiously pacing the streets in old, tattered skirts that had been handed down for who knows how many generations in that horrid place.
Actually “orphanage” was a nice way to put it. What it had really been was a workhouse, all of the girls who’d ended up there forced to slave away spinning threads and sewing fabrics into dresses that none of you would ever be able to wear, let alone afford even when you finally were set free of the place, the housemother— again, a generous title given that she had never once shown any of you a single ounce of care other than the bare minimum of keeping a drafty roof over your heads and tossing you stale scraps— selling all your blood, sweat, and tears to the middle class.
But, as of today, you were free, even if it had been against your own will, and you could now make your own decisions, your own choices. Though, with only a couple coins to your name, your options weren’t very abundant at the moment.
No, before you could really get your life started, you’d have to find work.
You dreamed of finding some quaint little cottage out in the countryside, far from all the smoke and ash of the factories and mills that filled the city, and working as a maid for a nice family or a rich old widow.
You dreamed of laying in a bed that was more likely to be filled with goose down than lice, maybe being allowed to bathe more than once every two weeks— and warm water, god how you dreamed of warm water— and fresh bread and fruit to fill your ever shrinking belly, starvation always seeming to be right around the corner.
And there was no reason why you couldn’t end up somewhere nice, or decent, at the very least.
Because you were a pretty, hardworking, well-mannered girl. So long as no one noticed how calloused and chapped your hands had become over the years, you might even have presented as a daughter of the middle-class, given the right dress and a combing of your hair.
All you needed was a chance— an opportunity— to prove yourself to the right person.
But, again, you knew better than most that beggars couldn’t be choosers.
For now, with night approaching fast along with the winter chill that the early darkness brought along with it, you’d need to find a place to sleep, at least shelter from the cover of clouds that threatened snow if you ever wanted a chance at your fantasy of fresh air and open country living.
The pubs would want you to pay, and you barely had enough for one drink. Forget an entire night. The inns were far outside your pathetic budget and any community living was either full or, again, too expensive.
She could’ve at least given me more than a couple pence and a single shilling, you thought bitterly about your former housemother. But you ceased your mental complaining when you noticed a shady and most likely disease ridden man who was crouched down by the street corner giving you a malicious look, eyes narrowing as he sized you up— or rather, took particular interest in your coins— and appeared to be plotting something rather unpleasant if you didn’t pocket your money and move along.
You continued further down the long stretch of road until you turned the corner of an alley and found yourself in a busier area on the other side, slightly closer to the city but still in a less favorable section of the east end.
The cold was biting at you now, your arms wrapping themselves around your body to shield you from the chill of the country’s most brutal season the best that they could. But still you shivered, thin and hole spotted shawl draped over your shoulders doing absolutely nothing to help you stay warm. You wouldn’t even be mad if it was stolen. Perhaps you could sell it, you thought.
But then, the soft glow of a paper lantern caught your eye, the dim red light drawing you in like a moth to a flame.
There was a string of them leading down the next alley, guiding you closer to the front of the building they were attached to and soon you began to hear the cooing of women’s voices drawing near.
Maybe they can help me, you thought naively. Maybe they know a safe place I can—
But as you rounded the corner, the hopeful smile that had begun growing on your face dropped at the sight of them.
There was a trio of women displaying themselves in front of the shop, skirts shorter than any you’d ever seen, if they could even be called skirts with how indecent they were, and chests nearly entirely exposed from a cut out in the silky fabrics, the collars of the garments drawn high as if in illusion to modesty.
Even as a fellow woman, your cheeks reddened.
Because you knew exactly just what kind of work these women— most of which looked only a couple years older than yourself— did to keep a roof over their heads and food in their bellies.
And that was an option you hadn’t even been willing to consider.
“Ooooh!” one called as she spotted you staring from the corner, waving you over with a catlike pawing gesture and giving a sweet smile. “Helloooo~! What do we have here?”
The other two turned their view from the men passing by on the street to survey you as well, the same predatory yet alluring expressions spreading across their faces.
You felt even more vulnerable now than you had moments ago when you’d thought that homeless man was going to try and rob you, like there was suddenly a spotlight casting on you and claiming you as the star in their show of seduction.
But this wasn’t an opera or an orchestra or a play.
You weren’t used to having any attention drawn to you. You’d learned that early on in the orphanage— workhouse, child labor factory, hell, whatever other terms you and the girls used to call it behind the housemother’s back.
Keep your eyes down. Stay quiet. Act like you don’t exist.
This single interaction was going against everything you’d been brought up on and you didn’t know what to say, how to act as the three flaunting women sauntered over to you and surrounded you with both intrigue and scrutiny.
“Haven’t seen you around here before,” the one who’d beckoned you commented with an accent you weren’t accustomed to.
“Does she work for one of the other houses?” another asked.
“With those clothes? Definitely not,” the third chimed in with minor disgust, plucking lightly at the paperthin shawl before you shrugged away from her, causing the three of them to giggle at your shyness.
“What’s your name, sweetheart?” the kindest of the three asked you then, bending down a little bit to try and meet your eyes which were glued to the ground. “It’s ok, don’t mind them. Just look at me, ok?”
Your nervous gaze flicked up to meet hers, her dark eyes surprisingly inviting, caring, almost. It wasn’t a look you were used to having directed at you, but it brought you comfort in your current situation so you decided to trust her for the moment.
After you told the friendly young woman your name, she cooed at you and placed a hand on your shoulder, slowly migrating closer to the entrance of the building with the red lanterns as you hesitantly trailed along beside her.
“Where do you live?” she asked you next, the other two girls returning to trying to gather patrons with their playful, lilting tones and exposed skin. They made it look so easy, how often that they drew a new man passing by towards them and then ushering them inside where you could already feel the warmth of the interior everytime the door swung open.
“I…” you began, words getting caught in your throat as you tried to swallow down your shame. “I don’t have a home,” you finally admitted, and the woman pulled you close to her, practically burying your face in her cleavage as she gently stroked your hair with her long but clean nails. Your nails were short and caked with dirt and soot. Upon noticing that, you began to consider that maybe this place, whatever it was, wasn’t entirely bad. And when you felt how warm and soft her skin was, you didn’t pull away.
Plus, it felt good to be held in such a tender manner. Like how a mother would soothe her child, you imagined. And for the first time in, well, maybe in forever, you felt safe.
“You poor thing…” she went on with that whining, sing-songy tone. “How about you come inside, I’ll get you some tea.”
You looked back up at her then, your eyes so innocent that it almost made her feel bad when you asked next, “But I don’t have any money. How will I pay you?” and she would have to give the inevitable answer of “With your body,” unless her boss said it first.
But that could wait, she figured. You could retain your innocence for just a little longer, even if it was a mere hour or two.
Because she would have to tell her boss. Tell him that a homeless girl— and a rather adorable one at that— had entered the establishment and needed a place to stay. And he’d come meet you, give you a chance to make your choice. And you’d be met with the opportunity to make enough money to pay for a roof over your head and some food to fill your belly. But it wouldn’t be in the countryside and the currency certainly wouldn’t be one of coin.
“So you came from the workhouse…” the young woman, whose name you’d learned was Xiu, said after you’d explained your current situation over a cup of hot tea. You and her were in the far corner of the main room where you tried not to cough as a thick smoke swirled around the atmosphere, the unfamiliar scent making your head go a little fuzzy. “I used to belong to one of those, when I was younger…” she admitted with a lingering sorrow, sipping at her own tea. “I got out when I was fifteen though.”
“How?” you asked, leaning in with curiosity and stifling another cough behind the china teacup.
Xiu explained that her parents had sent her over to England with a distant aunt of hers who already had five children of her own and had been recently widowed. When funds ran low, as they often did for immigrants with several mouths to feed, she had no choice but to sell the only child who wasn’t really her own to a workhouse, collecting the little girl's wages for her own family.
“But then one day, Mr. Lau showed up and offered to buy me out from the workhouse,” she continued, only the utmost respect in both her expression and voice as she lightly rested a manicured hand gracefully over her chest. “He could speak my language, told me I could leave with him so I said I would and came here. He taught me how to speak English, how to please the customers, and I’ve been working for him ever since.”
You asked who this magical savior Mr. Lau was and Xiu promised with a convincing smile that you’d be meeting him shortly.
But before you could ask any more questions or say another word, you noticed the entire atmosphere of the room change, even the cheerful Xiu straightening at attention when a certain individual entered the domain.
And you knew that must be him— this generous Mr. Lau that you’d just heard so much about— along with a woman of his own draped over his arm, her dress the shortest of all and a lovely lilac purple, the dim lights giving her a somewhat eerie appearance, like a feline on the prowl. She was an attractive girl, young like the rest of them seemed to be, though as she passed the opium smoking patrons she didn’t say a single word, didn’t try to entice them.
Because she was devoted solely to the man whose arm she was clinging to, almost as if she awaited his order to so much as sigh. She did make a point to scan her eyes around the entire premises though, bold when it came to boring her stare into anyone who dared track his gaze on her for too long.
“Who is that…?” you couldn’t help but ask, voice nearly a whisper.
But before Xiu could answer, the tall Chinese man beckoned her over with a playful wave and an otherwise unassuming grin.
Your new friend was up and standing in front of him within seconds. They were speaking then, though you couldn’t hear what they were saying. Based on the form of their lips it wasn’t in English, so it wouldn’t even have mattered if you were within earshot or not. Though, when the mysterious looking man turned his face towards you, seeming to be looking through you, you froze, an intense feeling of unease settling over you with a quick shiver.
When he motioned you over in the same way he had to Xiu, you nearly jolted, now wishing that you hadn’t let a stranger, despite her kindness, lure you in here.
But he’d saved Xiu, you reminded yourself. Maybe he could save me too.
Though, again, you were far too accustomed to using other words to replace the true intentions of a person or situation.
What one considered saving another could clearly recognize as using.
So now you had to wonder…
Were you going to allow this man to use you too?
“My, my…” he began once you were standing before him. You gave a small curtsy and looked up at him through your lashes for only a split second. His face was handsome, carried a certain breed of benevolence that would’ve put you at ease, if not for the heavy mystery laced into his aura. “Aren’t you a rare sight for this part of town.”
You didn’t know what to say, unsure if he was complimenting you or testing you in some way, so you just gave a shy and nervous smile, thanking him for allowing you a moment to rest in the warmth of the building and enjoy a cup of tea.
“Let me ask you…” he began then, that horrible feeling in your chest only tightening the more lenience he showed you. “Have you ever been in a place like this?”
You glanced around the room, as if you hadn’t scanned every corner visible to you the entire time you’d been sipping tea with Xiu, who now was being pulled away by a man and past some curtains that led to a backroom of some sort. You felt even more vulnerable than before, if that were possible.
Because now the only thing even vaguely familiar to you was gone.
There were other women scattered all about the room, sure, but none of them looked at you with the care and compassion that Xiu had. All the others seemed too out of it to even open their eyes all the way, taking long drags of the smoke that filled the lungs of the patrons who sprawled out on the plush couches and cushion covered beds.
“N-no…” you replied nervously, as if you were afraid you might offend him. Then you looked up at him and remembered to add on a formal, “Sir.”
Lau’s smirk widened, seeming pleased with something, though it was unclear to you exactly what.
“Ran-Mao…” he then addressed the quiet yet vicious-gazed girl at his arm. “Why don’t you show this young lady to a vacant room and get her a change of clothes.” He narrowed his eyes at you then, sending another tremor up your spine. “I believe we have some important matters to discuss. I’d hate for her to feel underdressed for the occasion.” There wasn’t even a speck of light to be found in his leer, dark irises swimming with ill-intent.
So Ran-Mao guided you back past the curtains where you learned there wasn’t just one, but several backrooms, most of which appeared to be currently occupied by the closed doors and some obscene sounds escaping from under the cracks that made heat rise in your cheeks.
And then, as if this place had given you a chance to forget, you suddenly remembered where you were.
Because this wasn’t just an opium den, was it?
This was a whorehouse, if the patrons wanted it to be. And you, a virgin, really ought to have kept walking and resisted the lure of the red lanterns.
“Here,” the stone-faced girl said as she opened a door to a vacant room and stepped aside, allowing you to enter hesitantly. “He’ll be by soon. Your clothes are on the bed.”
Before you could ask her anything— if you could leave, if you had to change, if you could just pay with what little money you had and be off the hook— she was gone, slipping away the moment you peered over your shoulder at the neatly folded garment on the end of the rather sizable bed.
You shut the door, noticing there was no lock on it, but still feeling some sense of security, no matter how false, now that you were alone in the room.
What am I doing here? You asked yourself as you nervously picked up the small dress that was supposed to be your change of clothes. It was just like the others— the skirt far too short and the cut out in the chest area far too big. Am I really going to stay here?
You slowly lowered yourself to sit on the edge of the bed, finding the mattress rather comfortable and actually allowing yourself to flop back on it, arms spread out to your sides to cover as much of its space as possible.
You let out a long, deep sigh.
You were exhausted.
Not just from this night but from the last eighteen years as a whole, it seemed.
If you closed your eyes, you thought you could fall asleep.
An actual mattress…
You’d never slept on one before, let alone felt one.
All you’d had at the orphanage was a limp, flattened pile of thin, itchy, hay-stuffed pillows.
First day out on my own and I’m already sleeping on a real bed…
Your body began to sink with the heaviness of oncoming slumber.
Maybe this isn’t so bad after all…
It wasn’t a place with fresh air, and it sure as hell wasn’t the countryside, but things could be much worse, you thought as you drifted unconscious.
Things could be much worse.
***
“You certainly are something else…” the newly familiar voice cooed from the doorway, causing you to jolt awake as he slammed it shut to deliberately startle you. “To think you’d fall asleep so quickly, you must be exhausted.”
Lau hid his hands under his capacious sleeves and just watched you calmly as you sat up and tried to recover from the scare of being woken so suddenly.
How long was I out?
What time is it?
What’s he doing here?
Is he going to—
“And you haven’t even gotten changed,” he went on, nodding to where the dress was laid out on the bed, showing you’d clearly considered it and then chosen to forgo his request.
“I—” you began to explain, but he cut you off.
“I do believe that Xiu explained to you how she came to be employed here…” he began, his malicious smile never fading as he slightly cocked his head to one side, only then taking a few steps closer to you. Your posture turned rigid and your blood went cold. “I came here to propose the same opportunity to you, if you’d be interested.” He was glaring at you through that pitch-black stare again.
You tried to gulp down your fear but found that hard to do now that your mouth felt so dry, the lump of dread sticking uncomfortably in your throat.
“So…” Lau was standing over you, looking down at you as he took your chin between his long, lithe fingers and turned your face up to get a better view, seeing dollar signs behind those big, innocent eyes of yours, imagining the profit your purity would attract. “What do you say?”
Your whole body was a tremor as you sat there, paralyzed with fear.
But he was giving you a choice, wasn’t he?
You could leave, if you really wanted to, couldn’t you?
“I…” you began, clearing the hoarseness from your shaking voice. “I think…” His eyes were dark. So, so dark. Like the deepest trenches of a treacherous sea. The eyes of a devil, or of someone who was sure to meet him someday. “I think I should probably go.”
Lau’s amusement with you dropped from his expression, his hand falling from your face and rejoining his other one back inside his sleeves. His disappointment didn’t seem to last, however, as he smirked again and said through a bit of a sigh, “Well, I’m very sorry to see you go. But, alas, I do not believe in keeping people here who don’t want to be here.” He swung open the door and stood beside it, gesturing with one silk draped arm out towards the hall. “Farewell. Enjoy the rest of your night. Though, it sure is a chilly one, isn’t it?”
You gulped again, slowly stood from the plush bed, and then hurried past him down the hall and back out through the curtains into the main den. Xiu was entertaining a man on one of the couches now, and she noticed you as you rushed past, calling your name to try and get your attention, but you ignored her, bursting back out into the cold and darkness of a winter night in London.
Still shaken though slightly relieved to have escaped unscathed, you pulled your paper thin shawl as tight around your shoulders as the fabric would allow and ventured further into the danger of the downtown streets, trading one fear for another much more unknown one.
***
Almost exactly twenty-four hours on the dot from when you’d first followed the trail of paper lanterns and found the sultry opium den, you were back on its doorstep.
Bitter winds had started to sweep through every corner and crevice of the alleys that afternoon and flurries had begun to drift down, soon morphing into what you could only guess were the beginnings of a blizzard.
You had no choice.
It was either stay stubborn and freeze to death or take a chance and accept work from the man known as Lau, owner of the most successful opium den in the east end and manager of the whorehouse that shared the same building, both of his businesses intertwining more often than not.
“Ah, you’re back!” Xiu greeted you with a smile as she bounded over, her short silky dress a different color today. “Did you change your mind?”
You wanted to ask her if there were any job positions that didn’t require you to sell your body, but knew that here, for a woman, as every employee seemed to be female, that didn’t seem likely.
So instead you just nodded solemnly with your eyes to the floor.
“I’ll go get Mr. Lau! Wait here!” And with that, Xiu cheerily went off to fetch her boss— your boss— and returned with the tall and eerily pleasant looking Chinese man within a few minutes.
“Nice to see you again,” Lau nodded. You couldn’t meet his eyes, just kept your gaze glued to where your hands were wringing themselves in front of you, nervous beyond belief. “So I take it you’d like to accept my offer. Shall we?”
You followed Lau back through the curtain separating the drug den from the individual pleasure rooms you’d visited yesterday all the way down the hall to the door at the very end. He opened it for you, allowing you to enter into his office first and then offering you a seat in the ornate chair before his desk where he took his own seat, shuffling through one of the drawers until he produced a fountain pen and a piece of paper.
Lau slid the pen and paper towards you and began to summarize the contents of the form, as it was written in Chinese— not that you’d have been able to read it even if it was in your language since you’d never been given a formal education in the workhouse— as you just stared down at all the foreign shapes and symbols neatly scrawled across the piece of parchment.
“You will receive room and board here while you work, clothes, meals, allotted time to sleep and bathe…” he explained. “If you’re not servicing a customer during our hours of operation then you’ll be tending to the patrons on the opium floors. I see you’ve met Xiu. I’ll have her show you how we do things around here. Your living expenses will be taken out of your paycheck and at the end of every month you’ll be given what's left over. Though, keep in mind...” You looked up at him when he momentarily paused. “If you don’t receive enough requests, then your total is likely to be low. You’re free to leave at any time, though I can’t refer you to any of the other competing businesses...”
He reached out and tapped a long, thin finger on the dotted line. “Sign here, if you still wish to proceed.”
“Um…” you hesitated, scanning the mostly empty desk with confusion as you searched for something. “Wh-where’s the ink?” Not that it mattered. You didn’t know how to write either. Not even your own name.
Lau’s smirk widened and you felt that familiar yet unpleasant chill shudder up your spine.
“Most of the girls who come through here don’t know how to read or write, so instead of a name we have them leave a different kind of signature.” You felt your heartbeat crawling up your throat as he continued to stare at you with the aura of a demon surrounding him. “The tip of the pen should be sharp enough to draw blood. So go on,” he nodded. “A simple finger prick should suffice.”
You were horrified, and the way he seemed to be confidently treading in the choppy waters of the anticipation was only adding to your fear. But if this was how it was done, then all you could do was play along.
You winced as the sharp pen tip pricked the end of your thumb, stamping it down on the line at the bottom of the page and pulling it away after a second of applying pressure to reveal your red fingerprint smeared on the parchment.
“Very good…” Lau commended with a condescending coo as he pulled the paper back towards him, rolled it up into a tight tube, and then stored it away in a locked drawer where all the other contracts he’d collected over the years were kept.
“Now…” he said as he looked back at you, your thumb sucked into your mouth as your tongue gently lapped over the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. He ran his own tongue over his smirking lips, momentarily mesmerized by the sight of you. Then he concluded with a sly, “I do believe that the dress that Ran-Mao left for you yesterday is still on the bed.”
***
There was a full-length mirror in the room, and as you looked over your reflection in the revealing attire, you realized that this was perhaps the first time that you’d seen your entire body this clearly before.
At the workhouse, all you’d had available to see more of yourself than just from the shoulders or waist up were passing by the windows at night, catching a glimpse of your figure in a transparent, ghost-like reflection, maybe a shiny surface of a new machine in the factory to sneak glances at your ink and soot covered face in.
But even then, you still hadn’t really been seeing you. You’d merely been shown the silhouette that a tattered old dress that was always either too big or too small gave your form. You’d studied your limbs during the rare occasion of bathing back in that horrible place. But here, now, like this, you were seeing yourself in full and with more skin exposed than you’d ever let any other eyes view before.
You felt vulnerable, like all you wanted to do was curl up and hide.
How were you going to do this? You had no idea what you were in for, what or who to expect to come through that door.
But after you’d gotten dressed, just a mere second after pulling the thin material over your head and down your body as far as it would go— which wasn’t very far at all— Ran-Mao had startled you as she burst into the room, informing you that, lucky you, there was already a customer who had requested you, the word of the new arrival having drifted through the den on the thick smoke and reached the ear of almost every patron who wasn’t yet too high to comprehend the chatter.
After delivering the unsettling message, the aggressive yet mysterious young woman had left, going off to resume whatever it was that she did and leaving you alone to tremble on the end of the bed until this man, this stranger who was about to claim you for as long as he’d paid for, entered the room.
You tried not to cry, wrapping your arms around yourself and rocking back and forth while the anticipation slowly and silently tortured you.
You have to do this, you reminded yourself. It’s either this or starve and freeze on the street.
You were startled again as the door swung open, this man not bothering to knock either, and he approached you with a staggering step, pushing the door closed behind him.
“Well, I guess the rumors were right…” he began in a rough tone, coughing and clearing some of the drugs from his lungs as he nearly collapsed on top of you on the bed, catching himself at the last minute but still too close for comfort. He looked down at your wide-eyed, terrified expression. “You really are a pretty little thing, aren’t you?” he remarked with a smirk.
You gulped, trying to swallow the new lump that was forming in your throat, already shaking.
I can’t do this…
The middle-aged man came closer, putting his calloused, meaty hands on you and beginning to push you onto your back, ignoring the gasp that escaped your lips as you tripped over your own feet, soon pinned to the mattress and trying to fight as his massive fists wrapped tightly around your wrists.
“We’ll see how pretty you look when I’m done with you though,” the man then threatened, cutting off your next yelp with his own mouth pressed aggressively against yours, his tongue worming its way in as you tensed up and tried hard to keep your lips sealed shut.
You wanted to call out, beg him to stop, plea with him to go easy on you as this was your first time. But you couldn’t.
One of his hands found your throat and squeezed, allowing his tongue access to your mouth as you attempted to suck in a breath of air.
“Stop struggling,” he ordered darkly when he broke the sloppy gesture that you supposed he was considering a kiss, grip around your neck tightening in warning. “I don’t like it when you whores fight back. So lay still and do your job.”
You were crying now, following his demands even after his hands lifted from you to undo his belt and toss it to the floor, hiking up your dress, which you had nothing under to protect his prying eyes from viewing the part of you that you never thought anyone besides a hypothetical husband would ever see. You know, the one that you’d fantasized about meeting in that daydream of working for a nice family in the countryside.
When he seemed satisfied that you weren’t disease ridden, he unbuttoned his trousers and you had to force yourself to look away then, knowing that seeing it would just make it worse, terrify you even more.
“Please…” you then begged through a croaking sob, throat already sore from his ruthless grip. “Please don’t…”
If the man heard you, he ignored you, lining up his cock with your tight entrance, just about to thrust into you when all of a sudden something possessed you and you kicked him, sending him toppling back off the bed and onto the floor, the drugs in his system making his reactions times and movements sluggish and clumsy.
“The fuck…” he grumbled as he rubbed the back of his head where it had slammed against the floor, letting out another groan when the pain caught up with him. You were breathing heavy as you stared down at him from your place on the bed, chest heaving as more sobs hitched in between your panicked breaths.
The man got to his feet and swayed a bit before steadying himself, and when he looked back up at you again, there was rage in his eyes, pure violence.
“You fucking bitch!” he hollered, coming at you. “I’ll fucking kill you!”
As he reached for you you dove sideways, dodging as he flopped back onto the bed and then rushing for the door, swinging it open and sprinting down the hallway.
You couldn’t do this.
You didn’t know what you’d do or where you’d go but you just couldn’t be here.
You peered over your shoulder to see if he was coming after you, only then to run into something, causing your weak and malnourished body to ricochet and fall back to the floor.
You looked up and found yourself faced with a new horror.
Because you hadn’t run into something, but someone.
And Lau was not happy with you, his ever-present grin wiped clean off his face, only malice left in its wake, his true colors burning bright through the dimness of the long hallway.
“I—” But before you could get another syllable out, the man reached down and pulled you up by your hair, causing you to hiss at the pain and claw for his wrist.
“Perhaps I forgot to inform you…” he began sinisterly, fist tightening in your hair. “While you’re here, you are expected not only to work, but to do so without incident.”
“I’m—” He gave your hair another jolting yank and silenced you with a yelp, more tears streaming down your cheeks and spotting the collar of the silk dress.
“You’re losing me money,” he growled, letting you go then and watching with disgust as you collapsed back to the floor on your hands and knees. “Just because I told you that you were free to leave at any time doesn’t mean I can’t kick you out first.”
“I—” you sobbed. “I’m sorry, please!” You clasped your hands in front of you as if praying, begging for Lau to be a merciful god and spare you at the very least if not forgive you. Then, in a pathetic mumble, you said aloud, as if only for yourself to hear, “I can’t do this…”
Lau yanked you to your feet by your arm then, dragging you behind him back towards the room where the man had since fallen asleep on the bed, his trousers still pulled halfway down. Lau seemed to calm down a little after looking inside, closing the door before turning back to you and looming over, still talking in a terrifyingly hushed tone, his silence speaking more to rage than any shout or scolding yell ever could.
“When he wakes up, if he remembers anything, he won’t be happy,” he told you. You once again were unable to meet his cold, dark eyes. “If that happens, I’ll have to give him his money back and that deduction will be coming straight out of your monthly total. Do you understand?”
You nodded meekly.
“But regardless of if he remembers or not…” Lau said then, his horrible, sinister smile making its return. “I still have to teach you a lesson.”
You gasped as he yanked your arm again and pulled you into the vacant room across the hall, throwing you to the bed and straddling your hips before you even had time to register what was happening.
You began to struggle again when he yanked your skirt up, but all your movement ceased as soon as you felt a slight sting just barely digging into the side of your neck, right against your carotid artery.
“Do you know what acupuncture is?” Lau asked, that sickeningly playful lilt reinjected back into his voice.
You felt your blood run cold.
“Well, even if you do, allow me to explain why I ask in the first place…” He drove the needle slightly further into your pulse and you tried to stay as still as possible while your entire body tensed, a little whimper hummed through closed lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. “The human body contains several pressure points. If you know where to find them, you can paralyze even the biggest or strongest of opponents.”
His other hand came to rest gently on the other side of your neck, thumb grazing the slight raise in your throat as he rubbed your clammy skin, a puff of a chuckle escaping his nose as he took in your pathetic, helpless state.
Perhaps he wouldn’t even need the needle to keep you still. Maybe his words would be enough.
“So, if you’re going to insist on making things harder for yourself…” Lau continued, raising the long, thin needle from your skin and holding it before you to prove he wasn’t bluffing. “Then I’ll have no choice but to make them easy.”
He was just about to drive the needle into one of your pressure points when you finally found it in yourself to call out a desperate, “Wait!”
The needle in Lau’s hand stilled just an inch from your body.
“Please…” you tried begging one last time, two more tears slipping from your eyes in a pair. “I’m a virgin… Please…”
At this, it was Lau’s turn to freeze, though his inaction was momentary. His serpentine smirk widened as he chuckled to himself again, covering his mouth with one of his capacious sleeves and slipping the needle back into the other where he kept it concealed before saying to you, “Why didn’t you tell me that before? I don’t just throw girls like you to the wolves, let any man who wanders in lay claim to them, you know.”
Then, still too naive for your own good, a small spark of hope ignited in you.
Maybe he was going to spare you after all.
Maybe he was going to find you another job, one that didn’t involve allowing the highest bidder to borrow your body for the hour.
But then all the hopefulness drained from your face as Lau looked directly into your eyes, dark gaze piercing your soul, and said, “I’m the only one here who can test for that kind of quality assurance.”
He positioned himself over you again, moving slower now, like a tiger getting ready to pounce, though you didn’t try and fight this time. You knew there was no point. Because if you did he would hurt you or kill you or throw you back to the streets where a different beast would tear you apart.
Lau’s hands were surprisingly warm, given his icy temperament towards you mere moments ago, probably kept so by staying cozy inside his sleeves while the rest of his girls worked tirelessly away on the main floor.
Though their work kept them warm too. You were learning that first hand as his touch traveled across your body, first trailing up your thighs and lingering at your hips as he bunched the silky fabrics further up your waist, seeming to savor the moment rather than rush through it now.
Because Lau wasn’t on a mission to punish you anymore.
No. Now his only goal was to teach you. More than just a lesson, but a skill.
“Sometimes customers will seek you out because they want someone to hold, or someone to impress…” he explained, voice much softer than before, soothing, however false. You sucked in an involuntary gasp as his fingers brushed lightly against your ribs, hands settling on you there as a quick shiver skittered up you and a knot that wasn’t entirely unpleasant twisted in your core.
He leaned in closer, his face nearly touching yours as his lips whispered right above your own, “Sometimes they want a girl who will just lay there and take it, but sometimes…” He paused, a quiet chuckle vibrating in his chest. “Sometimes they want a girl who will fight back a little.”
He met you for a kiss now— your first kiss, if you didn’t count the aggressive and slobbery one that old man had forced upon you earlier. And still, he was being surprisingly gentle with you. When one of his hands tugged down at the opening in the front of your dress and lightly groped at one of your soft breasts, your lips parted in a surprised gasp, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth.
But still you didn’t fight it.
Instead, you tried to go along with it, to pay attention to what he was doing and match his movements.
He pulled some more gasps and sighs from you as he explored your chest, pinching sensitive nipples between his fingers and sliding his other hand back down towards your thighs while he had you distracted with that sensation.
You didn’t even realize what he was doing until one of his fingers slipped between your already wet folds and began to rub circles against your tender clit, causing your hips to buck upward at the sudden pleasure, a sensation that you hadn’t ever experienced before now.
And you’d think growing up in a workhouse with only women would’ve taught you something about your own body, but all any of the older girls had ever been willing to share with you was how to perform a makeshift abortion if you ever found yourself with child, knowing full well what would happen to any girl employed within that place who had either messed around or been taken advantage of and gotten herself pregnant.
You tried not to think about that. But maybe you should.
Such a procedure seemed more likely than ever now.
“What’s… happening…?” you tried to ask in between panting breaths, losing control of your body with every new touch that Lau placed upon you.
“What’s meant to happen,” he gave in vague reply, now having gotten you wet enough to move onto the next step.
You winced when he slipped two of his long, lithe fingers into you, your tight little pussy already pulsing around them.
“Very good,” Lau hummed with a condescending coo, beginning to pump his fingers in and out of you, sending another shudder through your body as a strangled cry got caught in your throat. “Now tell me… did that hurt?”
“A… a little…” you answered timidly, the pleasure beginning to overpower the pain.
“And how about this?” he asked next, scissoring his fingers inside of you and making you hiss a bit as he stretched you for the first time.
“Yes…” you huffed, still trying to stay still but finding it harder with every new sensation Lau introduced to you.
Lau let out a low chuckle. “Well, it always does for you the first time, so just try to bear it,” he said, stretching you a little further until you had the sheets balled up in your fists and your jaw clenched with discomfort, little whines slipping from between your gritted teeth.
Then, after what felt simultaneously like too long and no time at all, his fingers retracted, leaving you empty with your walls clenching around nothing.
But not for long. No, not for long.
“You can close your eyes, if you want,” Lau informed you, shifting his position slightly as he dropped his trousers to the floor from under his expensive, silky robe. “But whatever you do…” he lined himself up with you, wiping the slick he’d collected from you onto his cock before nudging the tip into your entrance. “Don’t scream.”
You covered your mouth with a startled gasp as he began to enter you, slow and steady and not with intent to hurt you per se, but also not with intent to keep with your hesitant pace.
A few squeaks of pain escaped you as you squirmed from under him, the fearful image of that needle stabbing into you and rendering your body motionless ever present with the threat that had been echoing in your head since it was promised.
But you’d just have to get used to this, you supposed, since it was all a part of the job you’d signed up for. You hoped each time it would get easier, become less painful than it was now. You could always ask Xiu, you figured. She seemed like she would look out for you when she could, answer your many questions as to what all this entailed since you’d never had a mother or a real older sister to tell you about these kinds of things.
But the words that formed your worries began to fade away into a blurry haze as Lau began to pick up speed, at first rolling his hips into yours and then quickly and harshly burying himself deeper inside you, each motion pulling a whine or a moan from you involuntarily.
“Pretty sounds from a pretty girl…” Lau commented in between his grunts, which were becoming more frequent as your insides squeezed tighter around his twitching cock. “The customers will surely be pleased with that.”
It was becoming too much, this feeling that had been building inside of you, your stomach winding into a tight coil. Tears welled in your eyes again and you tried to blink them away, but you were relieved of all your fear and worry the moment you felt that coil snap, an overwhelming pleasure causing you to cry out and tense up, eyes rolling behind fluttering lids as your back arched and your mouth hung open with the ghost of your moan.
Seconds later, while you lay stiffly on the bed, you felt another new sensation as Lau filled you with his hot, sticky cum, groaning out a long note as his body hunched over yours and his head rested in the crook of your neck, both of your chests heaving as your breathing tried to recover from the shallow panting.
As time went on, your muscles began to relax and you felt the euphoric haze that had temporarily clouded your mind begin to drift away with some of the adrenaline, causing the pain to nudge its way to the forefront.
After Lau pulled out of you, he quickly redressed himself and caught his breath, turning back to you, who was still laying on the bed with a glistening mess between your trembling thighs, and giving that sly fox grin as he simply stated, “Well congratulations, my dear. I’d say that you passed the test.”
He pulled out an intricately printed silk handkerchief from his pocket, whipping it out of its neatly folded state with a single flick of his wrist, and approached you to wipe away as much of the bodily fluids as possible. Then he helped you sit upright, placing a hand at your back for support, and took your chin in his palm again as he directed your half-lidded, fucked out stare towards his narrowing leer and muttered, “Just remember… The next time a customer comes to call, you be as good for him as you were for me. Understand?”
Not even fully comprehending what he’d said, you just nodded your head lethargically through your daze.
He let go of you then and prepared to make his exit, being kind enough to give you the rest of the night off, suggesting that when you were ready you headed to the bathing quarters to finish cleaning yourself up. He said he’d send Xiu over shortly, that she’d help take care of you, and then he was gone, vanishing like smoke from your forever changed world.
And maybe, you thought, if you pretended that every man who found himself on top of you was him, things wouldn’t seem so bad.
Maybe, somehow, you’d figure out a scenario that would cause your boss to have to reprimand you again.
Because, for as much discomfort that having Lau inside you had caused initially, there was even more pleasure in the aftermath, and that night as you were drifting off to sleep inside your new home you found yourself reliving his touch, craving the graze of his fingers over your sensitive skin and the way he’d hit that spot deep inside of you just right.
And just like that, you were entrapped in the spider’s web. A beautiful butterfly to be spun in the shimmering silks of the venomous predator who’d crafted the perfect trap.
***
(I feel like this is so far out from the type of stuff I usually write but hey. sometimes you just gotta mix it up a little.
Anyway, i’ve never actually read or even looked for a Lau fic before, so i have no idea how niche or saturated the market is, so to speak. But something just made me think about him and how, even in the manga, he’s not really around a ton.
Surely he must be getting up to something with his own business when he’s not on the page haha
