So it seems like a good time to update the list. Recent headlines in the TTRPG community may have folks thinking about torrenting products from some heavy-handed publishers. Since I’d have to change my Tumblr URL if I condoned that sort of behavior, how about sharing free alternatives & quick start guides for some alternatives instead. Let me know of any other good ones I should include and I’ll update the original post with them.
I’m a nerd. I love “genre” stories.... fantasy, science fiction, horror, urban fantasy, fairy tales... but the past few months & even years, I’ve been really disappointed with so much of nerd media. I’ve tried to articulate this point before to various folks, it usually comes down to the fact that I miss happy endings.
After sitting through yet another comic book movie where the ending is ~*~bittersweet~*~ (aka, unresolved so you’ll come watch the sequel), then watching Rogue One, then getting into The Magicians, I’ve just had enough. In retaliation, I’ve decided to list the common threads in stories I love.
(Please note, I’m not saying these are the things that make a “good” movie. It’s just things that I miss in my stories, and I’ve decided to make this list to make sure any stories I write meet the criteria).
Good triumphs over evil.
Defeating evil costs something, but does not cost everything.
Bad guys are bad, but some things we just don’t have to watch them do
Not every protagonist has to be “good,” but at least some of them are.
Protagonists are flawed, but that doesn’t keep them from being good.
Every protagonist experiences personal growth, meaning they end the story as a better person than they were at the beginning. (The only exception allowed is the comic relief. It’s okay if R2-D2 is the same at the end as he was at the beginning.)
Altruism and idealism exist somewhere in the world, even if it’s hard to find.
Reality is not homogeneous; a good genre story should be at least as diverse as reality.
Me: Why doesn't anybody make happy movies anymore? It seems like unless a movie is intended for 8-year olds it's got to have a dark edge, or bittersweet ending, or some sort of tragedy. Hollywood needs more happy endings.
Also Me: I think I'll go see "A Monster Calls" this weekend.
Hi Lawfulgoodness! I am recently ascended into the realm of having income and expenses, and so I'm in the business of figuring out exactly how I mean to give charitably and to whom. As a respected moral voice on tumblr, could you offer me whatever advice you have?
Congrats, @reogan! Finding out you finally have more money than bills + debt is really exciting, and I applaud your desire to do something good with it. On the other hand, calling me a “respected moral voice on tumblr” has kept me laying awake at night wondering how I’ve come to this point in my life. In any case, this is an interesting topic and I’ll give you my 2 cents under the cut.
So I’ve been mulling this over for weeks, talking to my wife, remembering what we went through when we got to this point, and I’ve come up with 5 key points.
We can’t do everything.
My wife and I weren’t the only people we knew in our late twenties that were overwhelmed with the sheer number of worthy causes. There is a program that allows federal employees to donate to validated charitable organizations straight from your paycheck, called the Combined Federal Campaign. There is a website you can use to find organization or causes you care about. If you search for “Child Hunger,” there are 51 separate organizations attempting to address child hunger in some way either at local, state, national, or international levels.
“Human trafficking” comes up with 41 different organizations. There are 251 “Animal Rescue” organizations, and 476 “Homeless Shelter” organizations. If you’re not careful, the size of the need can easily become overwhelming. I think the first step to giving responsibly is admitting that you aren’t going to be able to solve every single issue. Otherwise, your mental health can really be negatively impacted by feelings of guilt or desperation.
Individual charity/philanthropy is not going to solve the world’s problems, but…
We can do something.
We as individuals can’t solve the world’s problems, but we can, as individuals, make the world a little better. I’m reminded of a sappy little story my grandmother had on a little night-stand kitsch about a little boy on a beach at low tide, surrounded by hundreds of star fish that were drying out. He was going around, trying to throw the starfish out into the water before they died but was unable to single-handedly rescue all of them because there were so many. Somebody criticizes him because he can’t save them all, and the boy lifts one over his head and says, “Maybe not, but I can save this one” and hurls it into the ocean.
Trite? Maybe. Overly-sentimental? Definitely. Applicable? Absolutely. I can’t give sufficient funds to help every hungry child on earth, but I can help one. And if I can help one, then I’m going to help one.
Pay it Back & Pay it Forward.
There’s a post here on Tumblr that says “Be the person you needed when you were younger.” I really, really love that idea. When I was younger, there were people in their 30s and 40s and 50s who were donating to programs I benefited from…. band and music programs, summer computer classes for teens at the local community college, church camps, school clubs. Even in college there was a ministry program that gave me a place to hang out and belong when I didn’t fit in at most of the other religious organizations. That’s where I learned how to play D&D and other RPGs, as well as where I met my best friend and my wife. So now that I’m in my 30s and have some extra money, you better believe I’m looking for similar programs where I can donate my time and money. Not just as “pay back” for things that benefited me personally, but also to help younger folks coming up who can benefit from the same kind of programs.
This also goes for the many, many online & computer tools that are provided for free that I have used over the years. Linux, Wikipedia, the Internet Archive, Libre Office, and other services are used by millions of people who never donate to help those folks keep the lights on. If you see the value in services like these remaining free, rather than sites like Google or Facebook who make their money by selling their user’s private information, please consider a charitable contribution.
Your fave is problematic.
It seems like every Christmas season, about the time I see my first holiday gifset, I also see a post delineating every example of The Salvation Army’s bigotry and prejudice against a host of individuals. And while I agree it is deplorable that they mistreat so many of the marginalized and oppressed that need the type of help they are equipped to provide, they are also the only homeless shelter in the city where I live. And I know that there is a great need in the trans community for safe housing, especially for homeless teens, donating to a homeless shelter in NYC does nothing for the very real and soul-crushing problem of homelessness in my hometown. I’m not diminishing the problems of the Salvation Army, or telling anyone else that they have to give to the Salvation Army. I’m saying that if I want to donate money to help the homeless in my city, The Salvation Army is the only way to do that.
Other causes and organization run into other issues. The International Justice Mission is dedicated to fighting human, sex, and child trafficking. However, this causes them to frequently run afoul of sex workers and sex work activists. They have caused more than a few willing sex workers to have traumatic experiences with law enforcement, especially considering the law enforcement in some countries tends to be rather corrupt, which in itself can help protect the sex trafficking networks.
I know this is some really heavy stuff, but I want to be honest about what we’re talking about when we talk about charities. We’re not (or at least, shouldn’t be) just throwing money around to make ourselves feel better. We should be using our privilege & money to try & make the world a better place. That means, on the one hand, understanding that no charitable organization is perfect. There may be unintended side-effects of the work they do, religious dogmas that prevent them from being as effective as they could be, or even just high administrative costs that divert funds from the good work they claim to want to do. These are all things we must be honest about, recognize, and use whatever influence (and privilege) we have with the organization to improve. Giving isn’t just about tax write-offs and placating our conscience. It should be about helping those that cannot help themselves.
We need to recognize that, just as their are no perfect people, there are no perfect charities. We should make sure the organizations we donate to use the money they are given well & wisely, but also understand the limitations of operating in an imperfect world.
Give ‘til you can feel it.
I’ve waited until January to publish this for several reasons, but one of them was I wanted to avoid the end-of-the-year donation-push that I know lots of people do. I’m not saying donating a bunch of money in Christmas is bad or wrong or anything like that. The holidays are a great time to think charitably and unselfishly, and maybe do what you can to prepare yourself for filing those pesky income taxes.
But neither of those things are what @reogan was asking about. I didn’t read the question as asking about one-time donations, but rather… what’s a person who finds themself in this economic situation to do?
And to that end, I would ask that we give until it changes our “economic situation.” If we just toss a few coins in the red bucket as we walk past, that is something entirely different than recognizing that we have more than enough money to take care of our own needs. That’s why it was important for my wife & I, when we came up with our family budget, to really look at how much we were giving. It didn’t seem right to just give what was easy, so we made giving part of our monthly budget.
So wow this was super long and if you read all the way to this part, props to you. Please don’t interpret this as “5 Rules for Charitable Giving” or some nonsense like that. This is me just “thinking outloud” about my own experience with donations and how moving into the middle class impacted my relationship with charity. Hopefully it gives you a helpful to start thinking, so you can make sure you give well, wisely, & generously.
One of the best parts about having moved is that I now live closer to my sister, the only person I know who enjoys horror movies more than me. We saw both “Crimson Peak” and “The Last Witch Hunter” on Saturday. Let me know if you’re interested in a review of either.
So a friend of mine got married this past weekend, and I was one of the groomsman. They had one of those wedding websites where you could go and read about the details beforehand, look at cute photos of the couple, and read about the wedding party.
The bride wrote these nice passages about all of her bridesmaids and how sweet they were and how they met and it was all very cute and sentimental and... waaaaaay too normal for my taste.
So I wrote up some bios from the groomsmen that the groom actually liked enough to use. So instead of nice, sweet, bios about where we met and how long we’ve been friends, he posted these somewhat arbitrarily as descriptions of his groomsmen:
[Best Man] is a master of the unspeakable mysteries of the Aether. Sent to this world by those Beyond in order to foretell the Inescapable Horrors of the coming days, his heart was softened by humanity's capacity for compassion and mercy. Separated from the source of his arcane power, he now spends most of his time knitting and mastering the art of Formal Tea.
[Groomsman] comes from the plains of H'ryaslkjfdistan where the rivers run red with the blood of his enemies. He rose to the rank of High Thrasher by defending his clan against an onslaught of mechagators sent against them by Ong, Assistant Ruler of Flbb'wekaj. He enjoys pizza and bing-watching Parks & Rec.
[Groomsman] loves ponies.
[Groomsman] grew up in the dark, sinister streets of New Seattle where he learned to silently blend with the shadows. Ears open and mouth closed, his catlike reflexes and penchant for breaking & entering earned him a reputation for being able to get anything you need... for a price. He and Christian have been fast friends since their fateful meeting at an antique shop in New Brunswick.
[Groomsman] the Pure is so named ironically due to his lice, which he refers to as "The Brethren." His lack of basic hygiene should not distract from his nobility of purpose though, and he never shies away from the opportunity to help a little old lady across the street. When not praying and fasting, he and Christian bond in their shared love of mud wrestling and fruit pies.
