#lawzard

[lawyerwizard]

Lately, I‘ve been finding poor, unfortunate heroes in local villages and giving them brews that turn their bodies into mushrooms over the span of a week. I’ve only been giving them the antidote if they do me sinister bidding, but some of the survivors have threatened to sue. Be there any way for I to stop them from suing? I don’t believe I could win the case.

-Sincerely, @sinister-alchemist

As you are preventing them from performing their own sinister wizard rituals, they do have grounds to sue you. However, I do think the judge would find in your favor, as you are allowing them the antidote in return for their labor.

[lawyerwizard]

Are there regulations on creating horrors (now within human comprehension!) using the beam the beam the beam the beam the beam

There are many regulations regarding creating horrors, both within and outside the scope of comprehension by any being. It is explicitly allowed to create horrors at any occasion, and most regulations cite life as being a comprehensible horror itself.

The beam however, has no regulations associated with it.

[lawyerwizard]

My local zoo lets children under 3 in for free, so obviously whenever I go with a friend I use a rejuvenation spell to de-age them into a baby so I only have to pay for one ticket. I don't actually know the spell to return them to their former ages. Could I face any legal action from either the zoo or my friends who I have turned into babies?

Legality:

LEGAL

Reasoning:

Age-changing spells that (however temporary) make the subject truly the age that they look are legal in this context.

Advice:

Using an illusion spell to hide one's true age for this purpose would be illegal.

[lawyerwizard]

Legal Contract for @mold-wizard and @concoctionboy

concoctionboy declares that all bodies, entities, and persons that have been presently split off from his person and the slime comprising him are under the possession of mold-wizard, with the exemption of the body where the sentience of concoctionboy resides. any obtainment of concoctionboy's living body by mold-wizard shall fall under the current legislature regarding the possessions of sentient beings. furthermore, any future bodies, entities, and persons that concoctionboy inhabits or of his offspring shall fall under the current legislature regarding the possessions of sentient beings.

In order for this contract to be legally sound, both concoctionboy and mold-wizard must reblog this post and state "I, (insert name), agree to the contract above and the legal ramifications forthwith."

@mold-wizard Please cast a spell that provides chocolate cake to me for a year as soon as possible, or consequences shall ensue.

@concoctionboy Expect that I will one day call upon you for that favor.

[lawyerwizard]

HI I'M VERY COOL WIZARD YOU TOLD ME I WAS ALLOWED TO HAVE KNIVES. WHAT'S THE LEGALITY OF ME TURNING A MAN INTO SOUP AND STEALING HIS PHONE TO MAKE A TUMBLR BLOG?

Legality:

CONTEXTUALLY DEPENDENT

Reasoning:

It is not allowed to make a man into soup in order to create a Tumblr blog with his phone, as you already have a Tumblr blog. However, there is nothing preventing you from performing acts of cannibalism as a wizard.

[lawyerwizard]

Is casting a spell of Pain You Get In Your Side After Running morally correct if I cast it on the CEO of tumblr?

Any and all curses cast on the CEO of Tumblr are legal, and encouraged.

[lawyerwizard]

where can i find statutes regarding the summoning of extant species as pets and/or familiars?

Statues regarding summoning of extant species for pets falls under regulations for adoption of species and animal regulation. If said creature does not have a current owner and is permitted in your area of residence, you are allowed to summon them.

For the summoning of familiars, refer to the legislation of wizarding familiars and service creatures. The consent of a potential or current familiar or service creature is required before summoning can be performed.

[swagmasterlowell]

CHOKED DOWN HIS OWN MEDICINE