to jade, from olive received: august 1, 2017
Was this some kind of joke?
As Jade re-read the letter, once, twice, five times, ten times...She couldn’t believe it. Her heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest and suddenly she was forgetting how to breathe. Oh god, was she having a panic attack? She threw the letter on the bed and ran to the bathroom, turned on the water faucet and splashed cold water on her face. “Olive, you fucking bitch,” she swore as she kept her eyes closed and tried to focus on breathing.
Everything was fine. It was totally fine. Her dead sister had written her a letter which she is just receiving after seeing all her friends. It’s all totally completely fine.
As she walked back to her room, looking at the paper as if they were Olive herself. Jade picked them up, ran her fingers across the letters as if she could feel her sister through them somehow.
It was stupid. But not as stupid as Olive was for writing something like this in the first place, how would she know something like this was going to happen? Fuck 13 Reasons Why, she knew Olive was watching it way too many times for it to be normal.
Should she have been glad to be able to read a few final words from her sister?
Yes.
Was she?
No.
Jade had been trying so hard to move on and even though it fucking hurt, she was doing it. At least she was pretending like she was. It’s been SEVEN YEARS, she had this whole “I’m living my dream everything is a-okay!” thing down to a science. Now here she was standing at the edge of her bed tears rolling down her face like the night she found out what happened.
What was she supposed to do now? Was she really expected to go on a road trip with her friends?
The idea sent made her squirm. She had talked to a few of them but it wasn’t easy. Not when she blamed most of them for what happened and those who she didn’t just remind her too much of Olive.
God, she missed her.
She missed her so much and now she had to go and get this letter because Olive was a fucking freak who didn’t know when to just stop being such a weirdo.
As she held the piece of paper, she just got so upset. Crumbling it into a ball in a fit of rage and slamming it in her trash bin.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Hey, is everything all right?” She heard her dad say though the door.
“Yeah, everything’s fine!”
At least, she hoped it would be.