#ldr struggles

[ambers-luvr]

"this reminded me of you" okay and you remind me of my future spouse, let's get married

[fluoxetinegreen444]

why do we all live the same lives?

[heartofmuse]

Some days I despair, lover mine, this separation takes a toll on my spirit and soul. Come soon and love me, for I feel I quickly fade into the nothingness of denial. Oh, to want so much I would rather cut off my hands than feel this ache. I tell myself you were just a dream I once had, and try to forget the touch of your hands, the scent of your skin, the taste of your lips for I feel my sanity slip. Why? Why do you make me wait this long, ache this much, bleed me so out of control with wanting you this bad? I know life gets in the way, so many burdens and responsibilities we both bear. Sometimes I believe you make me too much of a saint when I am but a sinner that desires your flesh, for desperation is not a thing of saints.  Deny me not your all for my all cries out for yours. Come, come soon to my open arms for I perish a little more each day that I go without you by my side. 

e.v.e. (Letters to my love)

[bloggingboutburgers]

What are some LDR green flags and some LDR red flags? (bonus points if there's some ace specific ones)

Sorry I took forever to answer that one TwT

I mostly saw a lot of green flags in my own LDR, so it was hard to find red flags at all hehe TwT So I had to talk it over with my partner to get their side too...

In terms of green flags, like I said, I've experienced a lot, but I would say a surefire one is vibing for the same activities to do (either remotely or during the times you can meet in person), and of course, it might sound silly, but just the sheer realization that meeting in person doesn't feel weird, that it just feels either as good or even better than speaking remotely. It speaks volumes. (Ace-wise, personally, I would say few things can beat the feeling of being with that person physically, maybe cuddling and whatnot, and being like "...Ah, wow, I feel really safe with them." It's an ugly reality of at least my own ace experience but I have basic fears of being even the slightest form of physically intimate with most people for a long while; I used not to but then I realized that some people will want that to lead to more, and while that's never put me in danger, it definitely was a cold shower to remember. So... Yeah. Feeling safe is wow.)

Some points that my partner and I would advise to be mindful of, so it doesn't turn into a red flag, would be the following:

Be transparent of when the other person is available/up to talk/etc, and be transparent if YOU're not available or not feeling it today, otherwise it can lead to worries.

Don’t cut the line of communication in the event of an argument. It can be tempting, using a remote speaking service, to just hang up if things escalate, but it won't solve anything. Taking a break is fine, but it's important to basically take the argument to a calmer conclusion, and work out dynamics to calm things down and feel better, not let resentment or stress simmer on forever.

On a similar line, don't bottle up if you feel bad. If the person can't see you, or at least not as often, it might be harder for them to pick up on signals of you don't being as well, so it's important to mention if needed.

Getting your parents and friends to respect your relationship and the time you devote to it. Now that one was tough for my partner and I because we weren't out to our families for quite a while, to preserve ourselves, but that also meant basically that, externally speaking, our families just saw us as texting someone a lot or videochatting a lot, which the less open-minded people will associate with not having a life. It's important to advocate that it's important, even to yourself, if nobody else will do it. And that's definitely a tricky one that you might need to fight for.

Overall basically always communicate and have a genuine want to work on things. LDRs are work, but they're definitely worth it if they make you happy.

[etcetera-nough]

i had to.

[lunarrmoonss]

I’m scared that because of this distance between us, you’ll find somebody who lives by you. someone who can do things with you that I can’t. sometimes I worry you already have. somebody who can go on cute dates with you or go to sleep in your arms.

[kuriouskxtty]

how i’m tryna be 💓

[laughableillusions]

My boyfriend is so cute and pretty and amazing I hope he knows I love him so much and I love him and I want to kiss him and carry him around and hug him and dnckskcndnfndh kiss him