Note to self, never wait for two years for someone to wrap up an LDS Mission. They will change so much they won't be the same person you recognized from before. It hurts but it's the cold hard truth. However a mission is not a bad endeavor, I just never felt right about serving one myself and I can't refuse to feel regret for it on occasion. I have felt conflicted by the church my whole life as I have searched high and low for truth. A lot of us feel uncertain like me; it doesn't mean we don't love the Creator! It just means I am not so certain about the institutions that seem to be created by Men? Maybe with another attempt at building my faith this outlook on man-made religions will change and perhaps I won't have such a difficult time with my Mormon faith? I do know that the Creator loves me and I do have a personal relationship with him but it has been mostly between Him and I and not with some middle man or a specific church. Heavenly Father has picked some interesting paths for me regardless. In my own community I have witnessed a fair share of Pharisees, Sadducees, and people who wear this Mormon religion on their sleeve for social status; I can't help but think Jesus wouldn't be angered by that? I'm a sinner, myself, not going to lie, but this is coming straight from the heart and I want everyone to know that I love and fear God. I am also imperfect and weak and want to be a better human! Maybe some of you will appreciate this insight and others will see me as lost or hard hearted. I am neither; I'm just struggling because the more I have learned the less I know now...I think one thing is fore sure: SOME of my LDS colleagues will appreciate the honesty in this post knowing now that I have never shared these inner thoughts in the post publicly but this is who I am right now! #ldsman #selfportrait #travelor #explorer #outdoorsman #dreamer #myself #tbirdnation #outsidetbird #goodguy #instrospective #lds #mormon #utahphotographer