Reading on the “wakeup call” of the enneatypes. Also, learning deeper about the leaden rule. This is a warning sign/a thought process that a type is moving from healthy to average. I would say the majority of the time, I am at an average range.
The wakeup call for type 5 is “Withdrawing from reality into concepts and mental worlds (Riso-Hudson, pg. 80). This hits home for me, I tend to think about the way things work, concepts, in order to get by. I get lost in the world of my own head the majority of the time. It becomes more apparent when things get stressful.
Type 9′s wake up call is “Outwardly Accommodating themselves to others.”
9w1 is my strong second fix and I tend to be a big people-pleaser. I want to please everyone but I end up getting pulled in every-which way in all other directions.
The leaden rule often is what people experience when they are at their most stressed or at their worst. It is the opposite of “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” It is “Do unto others as you fear done unto yourself.” This is a way that types try to bolster their own ego when feeling insecure or under stress.
Type 5′s leaden rule is “Fearing that they are helpless, incapable, and incompetent, fives make others feel helpless, incapable, and incompetent,” (Riso Hudoson, pg. 82). When I am made to feel incompetent or people accuse me of not knowing something I should, it makes me feel utterly exposed and withdraw. I don’t consciously try to make other people feel stupid but when I am my worst, I start thinking thoughts to myself, how incompetent others are. How I would be better at performing certain tasks. I know it’s not right but it’s where my mind goes. I want to feel like I’m smart enough. I also try to tell myself that those who treat me like I’m lesser don’t know any better. Trying to make myself think I have superior intelligence.