Doctor, suggesting a replacement because it looks like insurance won’t cover seeing them “I referred many patients to XYZ and never heard from them again.”
Me, stunned “I don’t think that’s the endorsement you think it is. You know how many awful fairy tales have the line ‘and they were never heard from again’ in them, right?”
Doctor, trying not to lose Professional Voice and failing “Ha hahaha *cough* I didn’t mean it like that. You have such a great sense of humor! Ha ha ha ha.”
Me, patiently “Did you ever see or hear from any of these people after referring them? As opposed to other places? A “Thank You” or a request for files or need for a consult or asking you to fill in while the new one is on vacation or anything at all?”
Doctor “No. Wait, let me think. No.”
Me “Is that normal?”
Doctor “No.”
Me “Can you see my concern?”
Doctor, sounding quiet “Yes, I’m sure they’re fine, but now that you asked, I’ll check my records for other care providers.”
Me “Fairy tales are cautionary tales. I’m concerned for the patients you referred to this other Doctor. Their chances seem grim.”
Doctor, not laughing “I understand.”
Me “If you can’t find anyone you’ve referred, you might want to check nearby ditches.”
Doctor makes choking noise “I want to laugh at that, but you’ve got me worried.”
Me “Yeah, well.”
(Silence)
Doctor “I’m going to check on a few people I referred to them.”
Me “Yep.”
— two weeks later —
Doctor “I won’t be referring anyone to that provider again.”