Some of Us Weren’t Taught to Plan
I didn’t grow up making plans. I didn’t have a five-year vision, or even a one-year one. I wasn’t the kind of student who studied weeks before an exam or prepared outlines for my papers. I listened in class, sure—but I crammed the night before. I showed up. I got by. I did what I had to do.
Even when I applied to colleges, I just picked courses that sounded interesting: communication, linguistics, journalism, nursing, computer science, interior design. It was like I was throwing darts. I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know how to want something like that.
Because planning wasn’t something we did growing up. It wasn’t a skill I was taught, or something modeled to me. We didn’t talk about “the future.” We focused on getting through the day.
My mom did everything she could for us. She carried the weight of our family on her back—sacrificing time with her own children so she could work abroad and provide. She loved us in the hardest way: from far away. While she was away, my brother and I were raised by our grandparents and aunts. They cared for us deeply, but dreams and long-term plans weren’t part of the conversation.
So when people say things like “just go for it” or “make a plan and follow your passion”—I freeze. Because some of us didn’t grow up with the privilege of knowing how to do that.
Some of us were busy surviving. Some of us were winging it from the beginning. And we’re still figuring it out.
If you’ve ever felt behind because you didn’t have a plan, if you’ve ever been shamed for not knowing what you wanted at 18, or 25, or 35—
Please know this: You are not broken. You are not lazy. You just didn’t have the same tools.
But you’re here now. And every tiny decision you make, every step forward—no matter how unsure—is still progress.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re allowed to grow at your own pace. You’re allowed to learn dreaming now, even if no one taught you how before.
You’re not behind. You’re just beginning.
And that’s powerful too.
