Jul 30, 2017
ashes of bitterness disc iv, track x
seen from Croatia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Israel
seen from China
seen from Yemen
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Vietnam
seen from Kenya
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Sweden
seen from Russia
seen from United States
ashes of bitterness disc iv, track x
arrested development
favorite male character: Michael
favorite female character: Lindsay
least favorite character: Herbert Love
prettiest character: Michael (I mean, Bateman, seriously…)
funniest character: Tobias!
favorite season: 2
favorite episode: So hard!! Amigos is on the top 5
favorite romantic ship: Gob and did somebody say Tony Wonder?
favorite family ship: All of them! To be specific, I love it when Michael and Lindsay get along
favorite friend ship: Carl Weathers and Tobias (tho Carl can be pretty harsh...)
worst ship: Tobias and DeBrie (couldn’t buy it)
rehab memories
I remembered something today when looking at photos of my brothers first, unnecessary and unfruitful rehab attempt. Me and my parents went to see him at his graduation from Ravenhouse teen rehabilitation center in Sitka Alaska. We listened to all the teens say their speeches, some more moving than others, some more thoughtful and honest than others. They all looked so excited, so happy to get out of there.
After the speeches and everything, we went to go shake the kids' hands, and bearhug my brother. To every teen my parents congratulated, they'd say, come visit us in Homer, Our door is open for you. Or something like that.
Except to this one girl.
And i remember, thinking in my no older than 8 year old mind, Why, Why didn't they say it to this girl? Is she not welcome in our home? And in my innocent little mind I felt sad and guilty and I could see, or so I thought, pain and hurt in the girls eyes as she slowly smiled and shook my parents hand after they said nothing more than,Congratulations. n
I think, I think I asked them about it later.
And they said, implied, she was more damaged than the other ones.
They said, implied, that they didn't trust her.
And my eight year old mind knew, knew that that wasn't right.
And that girls face will haunt me, her eyes, wondering don't I deserve the same as the others? Don't I deserve to be welcomed in your home?
And I'll always wonder if she is okay. If she isn't. If they had just said the same thing they said to Every Other Kid There, if it would have even made a difference to her. And I'll never know.
"The more you leave out, the more you highlight what you leave in"
- Henry Green